Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

You mostly tend to strive for the honeymoon phase in relationships, where everything is like fantasy and full of wonders and you just cannot get enough of your partner. And though that phase can feel as pleasurable as you make it out to be, it’s also exactly what you call it a phase.

No relationship will be sunshine and rainbows every day of your life. A relationship is built up of at least 2 people and those people have individual requirements, and at times those needs include being alone. But how accurately do you know if you require space from your partner?

If you cannot make it an hour or two without checking in or asking a question to your partner, you need a break.

It’s completely fine to need space in a relationship. You could be an introvert that needs alone time to rest or you may just like spending time by yourself every once in a while. Needing some time apart does not mean you do not love your partner. It only means you need time to take care of yourself and recharge.

In this article, Delhi’s top Relationship Expert, Marriage Counselor and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services talk about the signs you need space in your relationship.

You Are Always Bickering With Each Other

If you are continuously arguing over minor things, it could be time to take a break. Sometimes simply changing the pattern of spending so much time together can stop the cycle of bickering.

Try spending a day or weekend apart with your other loved ones. It’s good for the relationship and good for the bickering that is a sign that you need a break.

You Do Not Do Anything Without Telling Your Partner

If you are feeling like you cannot even go buy groceries without giving your partner a heads-up, it is perhaps a sign you need some space. A big sign you require space in a relationship is when you are co-dependent and cannot do anything without letting your partner know or getting your partner’s nod.

Begin out small by taking a break from calling, messaging or emailing each other. Chances are you are trying the above things multiple times. Don’t. Wait until you see each other in person at a given time of the day. Sometimes the 8-hour workday apart is sufficient. Other times you may need more.

The Quirks Are No Longer Quirky

If all the cute and mushy little things your partner does is no cuter to you, then it might be a good idea to spend some time alone. This is a sign you require some space from your partner is if “how they dress, or they talk. If every little thing is bothering you, it’s certain time for a break.

Spending Time Together Is Not As Fun As It Was Once

If you are not having fun in your relationship, some alone time could be necessary. If you are feeling drained after spending time together, again it’s time for some time apart. You likely require some space if your relationship is going through a torrid phase and it feels like every interaction results in a really hard and painful discussion. Being together should not be difficult, but when being together isn’t smooth-sailing, a small-time away from each other may be exactly what you and your partner need.

You Feel Stressed Out

If anything is stressing you out, it could be a good idea to spend some time alone.  Even if the stressor is not coming from your relationship. At times underlying stress or tension can make staying together feel like friction. Thus, it is helpful to check in with yourself and think about whether it is coming from outer stressors like work or family, or if there is something you are wanting in the relationship but not necessarily having.

You Do Not Feel Like Yourself

Needing alone time is never a bad idea. A major sign that you need some time away from your partner is if you’re feeling fatigued, irritable, or simply not yourself. Your spouse will understand if you need some time to take care of yourself and your mental health. “Make this a consistent part of your life so that you can have a good balance of time alone and time with your loved ones.

Needing space from your partner does not mean there is anything ridiculously wrong with your relationship. It’s always fine to give some time to yourself in order to rest, compose, and spend time with other people those you love.   

You have told a woman you like her, but she said stay back because you cannot be a part of her life or cannot be trusted. It hurts. Or maybe your girl says she loves you but will check where you are and whom you are with every possible time and she does not believe the details you share with her, so she spies on you!

It is pretty normal for a woman who has been cheated on in her past relationships to have hard times trusting men again. And, if you are presently in a relationship and your girlfriend has seen you lying numerous times, you cannot blame her for doubting you to be doing something wrong behind her back. And it won’t be easy winning her complete trust again.

In this article, the top Relationship Expert and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares things men must do to earn a woman’s trust.

Begin With Friendship

Friendship is the core base of a relationship. Through a genuine friendship, you can let the girl know who you really are without any pressure and vice versa. It may be a slower process, but it is a lot better than starting with a date immediately.

Be Real In Front Of Her

Being true to your own self before the woman you like will make it simpler for her to trust you because of she gets to learn who you are and who you are not. Pretending to be someone else could impress her in the starting, but sooner or later she will find out your true colors and that will make her feel deceived.

Make Your Intentions Clear To Her

If you want to date a girl, you need to make your intentions pretty clear. Is it because you like her and you want to know her better. Or are you just bored and only want to have fun This will help her set limitations for your relationship and avoid disappointments as well.

Be Consistent With How You Treat Her

Men are mostly good at making girls feel special during the dating stage, but once they go steady after sometimes of being together, their treatment towards them turn sour. When a girl feels that her boyfriend has changed towards her, she cannot help think he has found someone else. Therefore, ensure that you remain polite and affectionate to your girl all throughout your relationship.

Never Break Promises

Never make a promise that you cannot keep. Once you have broken a promise, the woman you promised to will be disappointed and will believe you are a liar. It will be difficult for her to trust you again, so think twice before you vow to do something.

Be The First One To Let Her Know

If you are trapped in a situation where you know it would enrage your girl, like you ran into your ex in a shop and got trapped for an hour in it, do not try to hide what happened. Instead, tell her instantly before anyone else does. If she gets to know it from another source, she would feel you are hiding things from her.

Be Open To Her

Openness is an important factor in a healthy relationship because you can sincerely tell each other how you feel. It is not a great sign if you cannot trust each other with your thoughts. If you really want your girlfriend to be honest with you, make the first attempt by opening up your feelings and secrets to her.

Show That You Trust Her

Trust creates trust. You cannot expect trust from a woman if you don’t trust her yourself. This is why make her feel that you fully trust her. Do not check her phone every time you see her or get bothered with her male friends easily.

Be Patient

Do not be impatient while trying to get a woman’s trust, particularly if it was your fault why you lost it. It takes time to create trust. Therefore, just be consistent and loyal to her all the time. Don’t ever pressure her to trust you because it would be difficult for her.

Be Trustworthy

Trust is fragile. It is not easy to gain, but it can be broken in just a moment. Therefore, instead of focusing on getting a woman’s trust, look to build integrity for yourself. This way, you can be trustworthy to anyone, and it will not be that difficult to get anyone to believe in you.

Relationships, no matter how new or old, is one of the most beautiful parts of your life. When you are in love with your partner, it seems as if everything around you is non-existent and that anything could be conquered simply through love.

Although that may be true when you mix in specific relationship behaviors, things can become turbulent between you two and in turn, might make things to get vulnerable very quickly. What’s even worse is when you know the behaviors you have exhibited or encountered are unhealthy, but you simply choose to ignore them. In this article, Marriage Counselor, Relationship Expert, and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about things that pushes your partner away from you.

Using Silent Treatment

Although going silent after a heated discussion with your partner may seem like the best response, but this is a behavior that you should eliminate.

Silent treatment damages relationships and leads to less relationship satisfaction. Avoid this damage inflicting treatment and instead communicate openly and honestly with your partner

Communication does not mean confrontation. Opening up dialogue can assist you to get to the root of your problem and solve it efficiently.

Assuming Your Partner Knows Everything

Another behavior that couples must stop is thinking that their partner knows everything without you telling them.

Your partner cannot read your mind or know your needs unless you express them. It is not fair to assume that your partner should be able to determine your every desire if you don’t tell them. Many people are not good at reading minds. In good relationships, partners are honest and decisive about expressing their needs, and their partners are the same way.

A good partner will not think you are nagging simply because you are expressing what you need from your partner and telling them how you feel.

Being Passive Aggressive

Keeping your feelings to yourself will seem easier than expressing them while you are in a relationship, but in reality, doing so could really hurt your relationship.

Almost everybody is familiar with the situation when there is some problem and one partner asks the other if they are upset and the partner says, I am OK, but things are most certainly not fine. If you are upset, the best way to do is to say so. You probably want to come off as non-confrontational, but ultimately that will not do you or your relationship good. When you bottle up your emotions you can begin to develop resentments towards your partner.

Those can intensify and result in a huge disaster that could have been avoided if you just addressed the concern from the start. Your partner is not certainly a mind reader, so if they ask you, answer them honestly and communicate about it. Good communication will always help your relationship grow further in a good direction.

Obsessing Over Your Partner

While in love and sending cute text messages entire day to your partner may be normal at first, but if you see yourself being too concerned with whatever they do, this may be a big problem. This is actually an obsessive behavior.

It’s easy to get caught up in the wind of romance, particularly when you first start dating, but this behavior can destroy you and your relationship. When you start to get into obsessive thinking, you are slowly exerting up the pressure on yourself and your partner. You may not know it but you’re not giving the relationship space it requires to manifest as it supposed to. Though it may seem as if you are only expressing your love, being a bit too into your partner can damage the chemistry.

Showing Your Relationship On Social Media

Since you live in the era of social media, it is quite easy to over-share in various aspects of your life and that includes your relationship. It is not acceptable to do this, particularly against your partner’s wishes.

Instead of aiming to become relationship goals for social media, act on being the best couple you can be in your real life.

Letting Your Friends Or Relatives Get Involved In Your Relationship

Whenever something bad or good is happening in your relationship, it’s natural to run to your friends or family members to discuss it. However, it is one of the biggest mistakes you can make and you should eradicate it from your behavior.

If you ask your friends about things they may not agree. Few friends are not pro relationships. Check who you trust to a small few and know that certain topics are not at all for discussion.

You should feel easy enough to discuss your concerns with your partner before taking them to another person.

Intimacy or lovemaking does not have to get boring in a long-term marriage. As the years pass by and you get older, your intimate relationship must get better. Sex with your partner can become more satisfying because you know each other’s preferences, likes, dislikes, and habits.

You know that life can get in the way. Work, children, finances, and several issues can dampen the romance. These everyday factors can hamper both your desire for sex and getting the time to put in the effort. But do not put sex on a shelve or last to-do tasks. There are ways to prioritize lovemaking and keep it healthy and exciting.

In today’s article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counsellor and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services shares tips for couples to maintain a healthy and exciting marital life intimately.

Set Boundaries

Create boundaries around your immediate or nuclear family. Include individual, couple, and family time built into your daily life and pre-defined lines of connection with each partner’s family. This means you have clear boundaries around how much time you spend with your and your spouse’s family. Your own relationship and family should be the first priority.

Touch Each Other Whenever You Can

Have a well-established connection around non-sexual physical touching, holding each other’s hand, laying together, and sitting on the couch with each other. Touch each other often. Make a routine to kiss when saying hello and bidding goodbye every day.

Say I Love You To Each Other

Hearing the three magical words I love you can make you feel reassured about the way your partner feels about the relationship with you. It is a small gesture that can keep your connection alive. Call each other during the day to say it if you missed your chance earlier in the day.

Set Date For Love Making

Have consistent physical intimacy dates. Having a frequent sexual relationship in your marriage is essential. Couples in the 20s have sex an average of 2 to 4 times a week. Couples in the 30s normally do it twice a week and couples in the 40s and 50s usually have it once every week. Pay attention to the frequency at which you are having sex. Try not to be sexually intimate less than twice a month, because you may get into a habit that does not give priority to connecting in a physical manner. Maintaining your physical connection provides your marriage staying power and safeguard it from the stresses of life. Make time either spontaneously or planned, to follow through with consistent lovemaking and intimacy. Your sexual relationship should be a tension reducer, not a tension builder.

Compliment Your Partner

Compliment your spouse in front of others. Not only it is a good thing to do, but it also helps your spouse feel a deep sense of attachment to you and boosts their self-esteem. It’s also good to model for your kids so that they see you being complementary to each other.

Change The Pattern Of Your Love Making

Try often to make love using a distinct sexual script. By mixing up your normal order of kissing, foreplay, and intercourse, you can reconnect in a great way. By mixing up the script, you take ownership of pleasure and excitement in your marriage. Nothing is better than feeling desired and having a partner who takes control of the sexual relationship.

Regularly Treat Each Other

Regularly give your partner small gifts or show gestures of love and care. Leave your spouse a loving note, get them a special treat when you go shopping or come back from office. Write I love you on a slip and keep it in their cupboard. Pay attention to these small but moving gestures.

Arrange Weekly Dates

Plan weekly dates to keep the spark in your connection. Also, arrange weekly business meetings to discuss professional life or including the division of roles and household responsibilities, weekly plans, and other matters that need to be discussed. By keeping these conversations apart, date night can be about connecting, talking, and getting physical, while organizational business night can be about work-related problem-solving and working as a team during the week.

Whether it is a simple disagreement about what a child can eat for dinner, what they can wear or how to discipline them, disagreement is inevitable when it comes to parenting.

Most couples experience this situation at one time or another. You as a  parent becomes rooted in our position. And what began as a problem between you and your child rapidly evolves into a problem between you and your spouse. You are no more parenting as a team.

There’s so much to do and discuss, and it’s rare that two people would agree completely. Instead of screaming and shouting, one should look to resolve issues smoothly the next time you find yourself in the middle of a heated argument.

In this article, Delhi based relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares tips to resolve parenting disagreements with your partner.

Avoid Broad Statements

There is a saying never say never. The saying also accurately fits for arguments. The thing about saying always and never is that it is rarely ever true. Using such words, broad language can create unnecessary drama and ultimately, damage. Instead, try using sentences like I have noticed that recently you have let him stay up later than I am comfortable with. Using milder language can promote a soft reaction and help you reach a peaceful agreement.

Stick To The Topic

There is a habit to bring up past issues and grievances during an argument that might have nothing to do with the disagreement at a given time. Focusing on the issue in question and trying to resolve that only instead of unearthing up the past will make it simpler to come to a resolution.

Give Space And Time To Process

Never go to bed angry, you might have heard this plenty of times.  Forget all of that. At times, sleeping on an issue or opting to walk away and discuss something at a later time allows you time and space to process your feelings and emotions. You could get up with a new, fresh approach that makes room for an easy solution.

Using “I”

Rather than placing the blame on your spouse and leading with statements like, you never do anything in the house or you are never available for the kids, try conveying with I really appreciate it when you do the laundry, or I like how you interact with the kids.

Understand That You Both Add Value

Each of you has different styles and strengths you bring to the table. Identify that you both have unique gifts to offer your child and play them up. If one of you has more patience at bedtime, make that partner as the official bedtime parent. If the other loves cooking, take benefit of that passion and allow your spouse to spend some time getting creative in the kitchen.

Reconstructing a marriage does not always need a colossal intervention. Instead, changing minor daily habits can make a huge difference in how you feel about your marriage and most essentially, how you behave towards your soul mate. Whether you want to keep your marriage healthy or you need to recreate a spark, change some of your daily habits and you’ll be more likely to experience the beautiful marital bliss.

In today’s article Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo founder of Saarthi Counselling Services talks about little changes that can make a huge impact on your marital life.

Treat Your Bedroom Like A Romantic Haven

The surroundings in your bedroom can either spark romance or put off any passionate fires. If you have got a child sleeping between you, clothes piled up or sheets that haven’t been replaced over time, you are not going to feel an air of romance when you enter your room.  Several couples who take great pride in all other areas of their homes tend to ignore the bedroom. However, if you want to spark some romance, give energy into fixing up and cleaning the bedroom. A little paint on the walls, some new sheets and a bit of organizing can go a long way to putting the mood back in the bedroom.

Set A Goal For Your Marital Life Each Day

Just visualize what could happen if you get up each day with a goal for your marriage. You could do some awesome work. And they would not even have to be big goals. Instead, making a conscious decision every day to do something kind or spend quality time with your partner can go a long way. Even saying, I am going to find 1 positive thing to say to my spouse, or I am not going to be crabby today, can help you remain focused.

Look On What You Contribute Not What You Gain

Have a look at what you are contributing to your marriage each day. Instead of looking at what your partner hasn’t done for you or what’s not working, only pay attention to what you are doing to improve the marriage. If you focus on making life simpler for your spouse, you’ll have less time to focus on how marriage is making your life harder.

Turn Off Distractions

If you have ever said, “Yes,” without having any clue what your partner actually said, it’s a sign that you may tune your spouse out. If your partner’s voice seems to blend into the background, it can cause plenty of communication problems. Get focused and turn off distractions. Put off the TV, laptop and stop using your mobile while you’re trying to listen.

Treat Your Spouse Better Than Anybody Else

Think of how you treat your spouse on your bad days. When you are in a bad mood or are not happy with your partner’s behavior, what should you do? Unfortunately, spouses often seem to get the tough end of the stick. If you had a bad day at work, you are low or you are mad at your spouse, it doesn’t give you authority to behave badly.  Your spouse should get treated better than any other person, be it your friends, your in-laws, and strangers yet sometimes you are on your best behavior with those people and not our spouse.

Remember The Good Times

Marriage is not going to be a fairy tale every day. However, remembering the good times can fuel up lots of positive and loving feelings. Take time to talk about your happy memories, whether it was a vacation you enjoyed, a fun adventure you went, or other times that made both of you happy. Look at photographs together as well and take a walk down memory lane often and remember to work on developing new happy memories as well.

Give Words Of Encouragement

Often criticism comes more easily than encouragement. However, you should be your husband’s/wife’s biggest fan in life. The world can be a tricky place and your spouse needs your support. Offer words of sincere praise and encouragement each and every single day.

Everything was perfect between you and your spouse after you tied in the knot. In fact, years after your wedding, you were enjoying each other’s company and exchanging pleasantries. You had every reason, to believe that your dream marriage is going to stay forever.

But now there is a twist in your story.

You both have all of a sudden started bickering over minor issues and a feeling of trifling between you two are growing at an alarming pace. The innocuous arguments that kept your love as an eternally burning flame until now, have turned into rounds of intermittent altercations. There was a period when you used to fall head over heels for each other, now you are finding it hard even to get along.

Is this what is reflecting your own life nowadays? Are you feeling a similar change of emotion and attitude for your partner?

Ups and downs are bound to happen in any relationship and the testing times like these give couples a chance to grow stronger. But it doesn’t necessarily occur all the time and therefore, one has to address the bothersome doubts and if possible, nip the issues in the bud.

In this article, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, Delhi’s top marriage counseling expert talks about indications your relationship is going downhill. Here they are.

Sudden Breakdown In Communication

The first calamity of any troubled relationship is the breakdown of communication. The breaking down of communication does not necessarily mean you have completely stopped talking. It essentially means the way of your communication has changed considerably. That is, now you are just speaking with each other inadequately not connecting to each other heart to heart. So, it is actually a bad sign when speaking to each other seems cursory. If the pattern of your communication persists the same way, it creates a distance and disconnection in your marital life. As a result, it makes you feel lesser affection and fondness for your partner. When communications get hampered in this way than the things that otherwise appear simple to talk about starts giving uncomfortable feelings now. If you are caught up in a similar scenario, just give your relationship the topmost priority rather than doing anything else.

Trust Is Fading Away

Trust is one of the most important factors of a relationship. If you are even remotely feeling the trust between you two is wearing away, it shows your relationship is going to get a jolt sooner or later. In general, the common worry linked with the lack of trust is that one partner thinks the other one might be doing something suspicious. This is a precarious situation that often leads to a lot of quarrels, which in turn results in all forms of accusations being thrown around. Such a situation will add another layer of the problem in your relationship because you or your spouse will start asking questions about something that may not be happening at all.

Arguments Over Same Things Keeps Happening

Disagreement with your partner over several issues is a common thing because that’s what individual opinions are all about and your marriage or relationship is no different. But when the ego gets bigger and then arguments happens even on pettiest of issues; then these are warning bells. It will then be just a matter of time when your arguments will turn into mudslinging, name-calling, or even cross the limits of respectful disagreements. If you let your arguments seriously up the ante like this and blame each another, you might end up damaging your relationship.

No More Excitement

There were days when you were so much into romance but now something is wrong, and you are confused where all the fun has gone. You loved to give and get surprises every now and then, you used to go for vacations, enjoying sex and you both were busy making memories for your lifetime. But the same excitement now does not exist. It is even impossible for you to go on a date. But there is always a possibility of something good may happen. If you are sure it’s the lack of fun and excitement that is harming your relationship, ensure to double it up now. Make every effort small or big to make your partner laugh and happy. Things will become smoother.

You Are No More Careful About Your Partner’s Views And Desires

Sometimes a complaint can turn into criticism and if it converts into a personality or character judgment, then the base of your marriage has started shaking up. If you are further putting each other down or continuously criticizing each other, you are no longer a good couple. The worse situation is if you do not respect your partner anymore, then it is highly unlikely that you will love your partner again. It is therefore vital to respect your partner’s views and desires to keep your relationship going.

Are you not sure if a person is or is not in love with you? Maybe you are with somebody who you think is in love with you but has not said those big 3 words yet? Some people can find it extremely difficult to say “I Love You”. However, it doesn’t always mean that they don’t. They may just show it in some different ways. It can be quite hard to know for sure if someone loves you, particularly when they don’t make it very obvious.

Sometimes, actions speak louder than words and you may be able, to tell the truth just by observing any nonverbal signs that your partner may be giving you.

There could be several reasons as to why your partner is holding back on saying the actual words, such as past relationships, not being able to open up easily and many more but they could be showing you in various ways.

In this article, Delhi’s eminent Marriage Counsellor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about signs that someone is in love with you.

The Way They Look At You

A major sign that someone is falling in love with you is through their eye contact. This is a nonverbal sign that means a lot, and reveal deeper feelings from your partner. When you catch your partner glancing over at you, or looking at you while you are talking, this may that they love spending time with you and are happy to be with you. Even when you are busy talking with someone else, you may still catch your partner looking at you and this can be a significant sign that they are in love with you and are really happy to be around you.

They Want To Take Care Of You

If your partner rushes to take care of you, whether you are ill or are in any difficult situation, this is a great sign that they love you.

If they ask you questions to check how you feel and if you need anything, this could be a way of saying that they love you, they want you to be fine and will ensure it.

Someone who loves another person will often look to care for them makes sure they are happy and be there when they need to be, so look for this sign in the person, as it is a great indicator that they might be in love with you.

They Respect Your Personal Space

If you feel like having personal space, they will make sure to give you some. Your partner should listen to you and understand that you need some space, which has to be respected. If your partner leaves you while you have some time to yourself, including not bothering you with messages or just showing up uninvited, then this can really show that they love you.

When someone knows that you need sometimes alone, even if it’s for 2 to 3 hours or maybe a few days, they will understand and respect your decision.

They Ask For Your Suggestion

When someone is in love, they will often hold their partner’s opinions and views very highly and always want their advice on important decisions. Your partner will ask for suggestion on certain things and they know that you will most likely give them good advice that will help them, and that represents a great deal of trust.

Whatever the situation; like something to do with their job, or if they need help with a particular problem, they will ask for your advice as they value your opinion.

They Will Make You Feel Good About Who You Are

It is always good to have someone who makes you feel good about yourself, even on your worst days. When your significant other cannot only make you happy normally but also make you feel good about yourself and who you are, it shows they respect your identity.

Your partner may not even know what they are doing, but the way they behave and act with you can have a great impact on your relationship, for all the correct reasons. When someone wants you to be happy with who you are and finds a method to do so, they may be in love with you.

They Will Drop Everything With You

When a person puts his own needs and wants to be with you, this can be a great sign that someone loves you. If you really care about someone, you are most likely be there when your partner needs you, even if this involves dropping and postponing everything you are doing at the time.

If someone does this for you, it shows that they want to support and comfort you when you actually need it, which is a signifies that they really care for you and your needs.

They Ask About Your Day

Generally, in relationships, you ask your partner how their day has been and want to know what they are up to. This proves that you care about your partner and what has either upset them or made them excited during their day. If your partner is showing interest in your day and what is occurring when they are not with you, this is an indicator of a loving relationship. It may be high or low points of your day, but whatever it is, they want to know and are eager to listen.

You may have had serious relationships before meeting someone special. You thought you were an adult. You thought you knew how to be a great partner. Meeting someone you have had a serious connection and thought you that nothing you had experienced before was real. True love feels different as compared to casual relationships even when those relationships lasted for years (often well past their shelf life!).  

When you are in a good and strong relationship, you learn things. You behave differently; you think as part of a team, not as an individual making their way through the world. You are more considerate and accepting of your partner, instead of just getting frustrated with them as you may have been in the past relationships.

In this article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about when you are in a good relationship, you will learn these things.

Misunderstandings Are Inevitable

Misunderstandings are bound to happen in your marital life. If you take your partner’s words one way, then learn they meant something else completely, don’t punish them. Let it go. Criticizing all the time is only going to bruise the relationship and cause communication problems later. Sometimes what you say or do can be taken the other way around, and you will get frustrated that your partner does not understand. Take a step back and realize it is not a big deal.

Misunderstandings only become a concern if you let them grow bigger and mean more in the scope of your relationship. Choose your battles wisely. Not every misunderstanding needs your attention.

Learn To Trust Them

You need to trust your partner. Why would you share your life with someone when you think they are doing something improper every time you turn your back? If you cannot trust your partner to be faithful, honest, caring, or anything else, then you are not in a good relationship. The best relationships start with deep trust, and even if problems arise (and they will!), the trust is strong enough to keep you stay together.

Encourage Growth And Change

In a good marital relationship, both partners are strengthened to grow and change. You have one life to live you should explore it completely! If you want to quit your job and want to learn something else, your partner must support you. If you want to try something new or go back to something old, you should get support in your relationship. And you should be supportive in return. Motivate your partner to explore hobbies and interests and meet new people. If you wish your partner to stay the same, you are bound to have a very boring life together.

Admit Your Weaknesses

Your partner never expects you to be a superhero, and hopefully, you do not expect that of them as well. You are all human; you all have flaws. It’s fine to let these shows. In fact, to have a balanced, serious relationship, you need to let your weaknesses be known. Your partner will be more sensitive to things that bother you and can help develop you up in areas where you need some help.

Show Your Feelings

The worst thing you can do in a relationship is to play games. Do not tease your partner; reward good deeds with love and affection. You have to make sure that your partner feels loved. You can be happy with them or be disappointed at them as long as you aren’t disrespectful. They need to know about your feelings at the moment as well.  But make sure you’re showing your feelings in a manner without being mean or nasty.

At some point in several long-term relationships, couples experience a rough patch, a time when they spar more than normal, feel bored and restless, and might even fantasize about being with someone else. This psychological term “7-year itch” became trendy in the 1950s when a movie by the same name handled the notion that many of you lose interest in your monogamous relationships after 7 years (though it is more popularly remembered as the movie where Marilyn Monroe posed over a subway grate while her white dress blew above her thighs).

If you or your spouse become inflicted with the 7-year itch, it does not mean automatic divorce.  On the contrary, it is completely normal.

In any venture boredom sets in overtime — this is due to the novel becomes the routine, after 7 years, many couples go through this period.  They find their partner irritating or boring and wonder if they’d be better off in a different relational state. But you don’t have to lose your sleep over it. In fact, consider it as a sign to improve your relationship. It’s quite easy to fix that feeling.

In this article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counsellor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo share tips to avoid the 7-year itch in your marriage. Here they are:

Change The Way You Think About Love

Many people mistake love for a noun, whereas, in reality, it’s a verb, an action that’s dynamic, constantly inflow. It’s not a static thing. Think of love as water and your relationship as a long and winding river that makes it flow. Yes, there would be quiet pools and rocky patches, but that’s part of the adventurous journey. And adventure is a nice thing.

Sex Is Perhaps Going To Change

Everyone remembers the hot and passionate sex couples were having at the start of their relationship: At times the kind of sex that made you call in sick from work. You may still enjoy bouts of passionate sex, certainly, but you must know that your sex life will change because your bodies and libidos change as you grow further. Do not think your sex life needs to be that of a 25-year-old. As you age, your sex drives diminish. This is a function of your biology. Allow your sex life to change over time. If you expect it to remain the way it was, you’ll destroy its present and future expression.

Work On Yourself First

It is easy to blame your spouse when your relationship bores, irritates, or makes you upset, and to think things like this. If only he would do the dishes from time to time; if only he cared about holidays and so on.  But blaming your spouse, then trying to change them will only lead to acrimony and anger. These emotions damage relationships. The best remedy for an interesting relationship is to become an interesting person. What you can do runs the spectrum, from taking a new route to work, to reading books, to playing board games together rather than watching TV at night. After all, small steps lead to big shifts in personality and perception.

Experience Life Together

The ideal way to combat boredom in a relationship is to fill your life with wonderful adventures that you can look forward to as a couple,

If you have children, make it a point to (minimum twice a year) take a vacation from them. You can really appreciate each other when the children are not around. If you cannot take a vacation, have a relative or friend watch them for a weekend and opt for a ‘staycation.’ Do something physical together. Go hiking or for a run, exercise is an amazing bonding experience.

Communicate Often

If you want to avert bickering over nonsense, the best stuff you can do as a couple learns to communicate frequently and without restrictions. Talk frequently and honestly to each other about your problems, sex, anger, disappointment, and appreciation of each other. No topic should be avoided. Learn to listen and communicate rather than fighting. Fighting is childish, and you aspire for a grown-up relationship.

Get Handsy

Hugging and touching has long been proven to lower stress, strengthen the immune system, and release oxytocin, that helps people bond with each other. Thus, it’s no surprise that touching your partner on a regular basis can keep you more connected and in sync with each other’s physical and emotional needs.

Sit near your significant one, and gently place your hand on their shoulder, leg, or arm. If you are in the car, lightly touch his/her shoulder or arm. You’ll notice your conversation becomes warmer and more caring. If you have been struggling, or are ready to forgive each other, facing each other and holding both hands will help you feel more strongly connected and reassured.