Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Explains Delhi’s Top Marriage Counselor Shivani Sadhoo

Opting to be in a relationship is not the most difficult aspect of wanting to be with someone, it is continuing to stay with them irrespective of the ups and downs. It is to understand their weaknesses and turn them into your strengths. It is the work of being totally transparent with them about your fears and insecurities say, Shivani.

Intimacy

It actually, is the close connection between two people where they share their feelings, emotions, trust, vulnerability, and closeness. However, if one imagines that intimacy requires just remaining in a romantic relationship, that would be false. This can exist between friends, family members, and even strangers in specific situations.

However, when one refers to being in a relationship, people associate intimacy with only getting physically intimate – which is only a physical aspect. While getting intimate physically, surely is an important part of a healthy relationship, it is not everything. There are various ways to increase intimacy and make your relationship healthy and without that, it is probably that the people in the relationship might drift apart opines couples therapist Shivani Sadhoo.

There are 5 kinds of intimacy that might overlap or intersect with each other from time to time. However, the relevance and essence of every single one of them are quite unique. Here is what they are as shared by India’s top marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

Emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy is actually sharing and communicating one’s innermost fears, vulnerabilities, thoughts, feelings, and experiences with another person. This is done when an individual sharing feels comfortable doing so and feels understood and supported in return. It actually, is the feeling of creating closeness with another person by being vulnerable and sharing your actual self with them.

However, forming emotional intimacy depends on both the listener and the one talking. A person can just confide in another person when they know there will be no judgment and that they are completely supported.

Physical intimacy

As the name goes, physical intimacy is fundamentally the physical closeness with another person. This could be in the form of sexual and non-sexual intimacy both, including hugging, holding hands, kissing, and cuddling. Physical intimacy is extremely vital as it means two people are comfortable sharing their physical space and bodies with each other without any judgment.

It is also quite important as physical touch in a relationship triggers oxytocin, which is the feel-good hormone. These hormones are also known as bonding hormones which assist in forming better attachments. When released, these hormones help create feelings of trust, intimacy, and closeness between partners. It is sometimes referred to as the “cuddle hormone” or “love hormone” as it can promote feelings of warmth and affection.

Intellectual intimacy

Every person is an individual and the idea of sharing one’s own opinions, beliefs, and thoughts with another individual without having to about getting into a conflict is intellectual intimacy. Here one person has to believe that their opinions and ideologies related to life or any other aspect are valued instead of feeling that they are pressured to agree with the other person’s views.

This sort of listening can foster a deep and meaningful bond between two individuals, as it needs active listening, open-mindedness, and a willingness to learn from each other. This is a top way to get closer to a partner without having to be physically intimate. Not only that, it helps two people appreciate each other’s thoughts and ideas while connecting on a level beyond surface-level small talk.

Spiritual intimacy

Similar religious practices do not mandatorily have to do with spiritual intimacy. But it could be a shared connection or understanding of spirituality or religion between two individuals. This can include sharing beliefs, values, and practices that are essential to each person. This will also include supporting the spiritual formation and growth.

This could also include engaging in spiritual practices together like praying or going to a religious place or simply meditating. It could be a great thing in a romantic relationship as it will bring a sense of shared purpose and meaning beyond the everyday aspects of the relationship.

Experiential intimacy

Experiential intimacy is generally, the deep connection developed between two people by sharing the same experiences. This could include engaging in activities or working together, forming memories by going on trips or vacations, or simply bonding by doing challenges together or living successes.

This is not just a great way to be intimate in a romantic relationship but also for non-romantic relationships as it supports strengthening trust, communication, and emotional intimacy between individuals. This not just creates a sense of shared history and bond but also helps to form a deep and meaningful relationship.

If marriages are truly made in heaven, then why are divorce rates increasing globally? Is it because of the pandemic or should we blame the 7-year itch? Whatever the reason, divorce is not a solution because problems do not disappear after a divorce. Nowadays, people have become accustomed to everything being disposable. We keep changing our gadgets, our jobs, and even our life partners. Many couples feel divorce is the only way of getting out of the routine. However, that is not true because even if you feel that your marriage is on the edge of collapsing, it is within the realm of repair.

What are the ways to bolster your marriage and avoid divorce?

So, if you’re wondering exactly what you should be doing to bolster your marriage and avoid divorce, scroll down to read a few ways suggested by Delhi’s top marriage counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Expectations must be realistic: We feel upset when our expectations remain unfulfilled. Usually, marriages fail when partners cannot fulfil one another’s needs, leading to disappointments and disagreements, and in most cases, divorce. Learn to burn your resentments. Instead, sit and discuss which of the expectations are realistic enough to be fulfilled and what kind of adjustments can make things better.

Communicate daily: Proper communication will foster emotional intimacy that will strengthen the relationship further.

No secrets: Transparency is the best policy when it comes to any relationship. Let your better half know all about you—your ambitions and aspirations, your deep concerns, and your deep fears without invading your privacy. Being transparent builds trust and fosters intimacy and a sense of security in a relationship.

Laugh with each other: Love can keep a couple together, but shared laughter strengthens the bond between the two. Laughing and giggling with your partner helps to overcome stress and conflicts in a relationship thereby making it stronger. Laughter is indeed the best medicine.

Money matters: While it is true that money isn’t everything, yet one of the main reasons for divorce today, is related to finance. Couples must share their financial expectations to strengthen their marriage. Whether it is sharing your debt and credit status or combining of finances, you must be aware of each other’s financial goals.

Show kindness and respect: Mutual respect is one of the cornerstones of all successful marriages. Be kind and considerate towards each other. Marriage is all about the little things. Small gestures of love and appreciation add a whole new dimension to your relationship. Consider picking up her favorite coffee table book or flowers from the store. Use the golden words—please, sorry, and thank you frequently.

Bottom line

Marriage is all about sharing and caring. A marriage is built day by day and brick by brick, just as Rome was not built in a day. A lot of work goes into living “happily ever after”. So, keep investing in your relationship and make the right changes that will bring sunshine to your life.

Getting to know someone actually you really like is a wonderful experience. You feel as if you will conquer the whole world. You stay up the entire night getting to know that special person and daydreaming about when you may see them again. And there is a nice reason for this.

Human beings are designed to bond with other humans. When you date, oxytocin is released into your brain. This helps you to bond. Dopamine releases to make you feel happy and elated when in the presence of your special person.

Due to this, you are not necessarily seeing clearly. You seem to minimize or completely ignore the bad and maximize the good. When you opt for something that does not feel right or a characteristic you do not like, you perhaps justify it or explain it away. This is the reason it is hard to recognize red flags at the initial stages of your relationship. Your body form does not want you to.

Fortunately, there is certainly research on what makes certain couples the “masters” and others the “disasters” of relationships. Relationship counselor Shivani believes you can use it as early as the first date to begin paying attention to whether or not you wish to continue with the other person.

Read on this blog by eminent couples therapist in India Shivani Misri Sadhoo that shares clues that you need to watch out for while you are dating someone.

What are the Red flags in dating?

So what actually makes a couple a “disaster”? One of the top predictors of that is the utilization of something according to Dr. John Gottman who called “The Four Horsemen,” which is a play about the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” coming to indicate the end of times.

The Four Horsemen basically are:

• Criticism – Describing flaws in character within your partner
• Defensiveness – Not taking responsibility for your part
• Contempt – Belittling and taking a superior position
• Stonewalling – Shutting out your partner or shutting down

You can begin to notice whether or not these are visible in your relationship even in the initial phases. What may look like?

Criticism

If a person that you are dating, often criticizes you or other people, you may notice them saying words such as “always” or “never.” For instance, “you are always very late” or “you never think about me at night!”

Defensiveness

Defensiveness seems like counter-criticizing, over-explaining, or justifying actions, or playing the victim. If you are dating and bring up an issue that you have and the other individual responds defensively, that could be something to watch out for. It might look like them saying, “I know I keep showing up late but I truly have a very busy job. Why do not you get that?”

Stonewalling

Stonewalling is mostly the outcome of physiological overwhelm. This means the individual that is stonewalling perhaps has a racing heart and a rush of stress hormones. If you are with someone who is stonewalling, it will appear as if the other individual is zoned out or could not care less about what you are saying. You may experience this during the starting conflict. Probably the other person goes disappeared or is offline and becomes unresponsive.

Contempt

This one is quite important to watch out for. Contemptuous is the most damaging of the horsemen. Contempt seems when someone holds on a position of superiority. It could sound like put-downs or mean-spirited sarcasm.

Other instances of contempt are laughing at you (not with you), putting down your own interests or profession, or taking on a position of being better than you in a certain capacity. If someone shows contempt in the initial stages of dating, this is one big red flag. So now that you have looked at what you need to avoid, let us look at what you need to look for.

What are the Green flags in dating

Fortunately, it did not just stop with studying the disasters of relationships. There was an attempt to know what it was the masters did differently. In the research, Dr. Gottman found the antidotes to the Four Horsemen, which are counteractive behaviors for each of the above.

When you are in the process to know someone, look for them. It is a good sign they can manage conflict and show you respect, even while you differ.

Gentle Start-up

Instead of becoming critical, the masters of relationships discuss their problems and complaints by initiating the conversation gently. They also look to follow a formula of “I noticed this, I feel that, I need this” when discussing what is troubling them, instead of being accusatory “You always do this, you need to do that, why don’t you…“

Responsibility taking

Rather than being defensiveness, you want to take proper responsibility for your part. It means that you own even the tiniest piece of the problem when it is there. Individuals who take responsibility listen to their partner when they have a problem, validate the issues, and take pause prior to responding.

This could sound like one partner saying, “Hey, I have noticed that when we go out with your friends, I am left all alone in the corner. I feel truly awkward in those moments. I require you to stay by my side a bit more until I get to know them” (a gentle start-up). In turn, the other individual responds non-defensively by saying, “You are correct. I should not walk away from you like that. I can imagine it is uneasy when you don’t know everyone yet.”

Self-soothing 

Everyone gets upset. It is human to have overwhelming emotions momentarily. However, those that do well in relationships seem to take responsibility for soothing themselves and they have partners who are willing to let them take the time they want to self-soothe. It means that when someone needs a break, they take it and the other individual provides them space.

Contempt

To overcome contempt, the individual expressing it requires to lean into recognizing and expressing their own feelings. They perhaps also need to explore their earlier experiences that are leading them to feel anger or hostility toward their partner. Rather than showing contempt and saying “I cannot believe you are late. You disgust me,” a partner who can properly express themselves may say, “When you are late, I feel so upset.”

The conclusion

The initiation of the relationship is full of happy hormones that want you to bond (and mate) with your newfound significant other. Learning to identify the signs of a healthy partner can assist you to override some of those hormones and see a little more clearly.

Watch out for people who are critical, defensive, withdrawn, and contemptuous. The use of these conducts doesn’t imply that you should not be in a relationship with them, but it actually means you need to get curious regarding how they respond when you set boundaries around those sorts of behaviors.

Eventually, you want a partner who is gentle with you (even when you are upset), able to take responsibility for his or her actions (even when it’s difficult), works with you to soothe your emotional systems, and own your past pain and resentment so that he or she don’t inflict it upon you.

Shivani Misri Sadhoo is a Gottman Certified Therapist. Every day several couples and individuals seek her professional advice. Be it about their relationships or psychological or behavioral issues.

According to The Oxford English Dictionary intimacy has been defined as the “inmost thoughts or feelings; proceeding from, concerning, or impacting one’s inmost self: closely personal.”

While couples therapist Shivani Sadhoo says, from a psychological or relationship’s view intimacy generally, denotes mutual vulnerability, openness, and sharing. It is mostly present in close, loving relationships like in marriages and friendships. The word is also at times used to refer to sexual interactions, but intimacy does not have to be restricted to be sexual only.

Though intimacy could undoubtedly exist beyond romantic relationships, it most usually pertains to dating and marriage. The word intimacy has been derived from Latin word “intimus,” which means ‘inner’ or ‘innermost. In the majority of romance languages, the word intimate refers to an individual’s innermost qualities.

Intimacy lets people bond with each other on multiple levels. Therefore, it is a mandatory component of healthy relationships.

Through this blog, India’s eminent marriage counselor Shivani Sadhoo covers the different forms of intimacy and how you can make more of it in your relationship.

What are the types of intimacy that exist in a relationship?

Upon hearing the word, most of you perhaps instantly jumped to thinking about physical intimacy, but other forms of intimacy are simply as important, particularly when it comes to romantic relationships. Let’s have a look at some different kinds of intimacy.

Physical intimacy

While holding a hand or hugging are both examples of physical intimacy, this form is most commonly used in reference to sex. And while sex is integral in relationships, you can also showcase physical intimacy through kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and skin-to-skin contact.

While these minor physical displays of affection might seem mundane, they can actually help you and your partner cultivate a feeling of bonding and closeness.

With reference to sex, a part of intimacy is also about feeling safe enough with your partner to share your likes and dislikes. Make certain that you are asking for the same piece of information from your partner. In this manner, you can facilitate a safe haven where both of you will feel comfortable sharing your deepest thoughts, needs, and desires.

Emotional

Emotional intimacy can also be one of the most vital aspects of a relationship. One specific journal defined emotional intimacy as involving “a perception of closeness to another that lets sharing of personal feelings, accompanied through expectations of understanding, affirmation, and demonstrations of caring.

To harvest emotional intimacy, take the proper time to listen to and share with your partner every day. Also, make notes of special moments or things that remind you of your special one so that you can let them know you are also thinking about them.

Studies have suggested that self-disclosure helps build feelings of intimacy inside marriages, which will make your bond even stronger. A big part of it is sharing your thoughts and feelings with transparency, honesty, and listening to your loved ones when they do the same.

Experiential

While couples do not have to be joined at the hip, shared experiences are essential in healthy relationships. They are also mostly the way that relationships start, so experiences could even add an aspect of nostalgia for long-term partners.

If you are looking to deepen your experiential intimacy, this is an excellent moment to book a trip or try out a fun new date spot or activity in your city. Try to learn something new with regard to your partner.

Intellectual

See, you do not have to watch a specific TV show together every single night, but it could be fun to have intellectual conversations with your significant other, mainly if you work in different fields. Find new topics to discuss; simple website searches pull up tons of conversation starters.

If you put good effort into having conversations beyond the everyday monotony, it will keep things fresh within your relationship.

Spiritual

While this could be referring to religious ideas and beliefs, it also means something way more profound, such as sharing actual beliefs and values. Your values and beliefs could align with religion or even general health and wellness. Regardless, it is necessary to share these vital aspects of your life with your partner.

This could also be an opportunity for you and your partner to talk about what role you exactly want spirituality to play in your lives if you have a family.

Methods to form intimacy

Not an issue of how long you two have been together, it is always important to develop your intimacy levels. Here are certain simple, practical methods to enhance and expand your levels of intimacy in your relationship:

• If you are not in the mood or are extremely exhausted from having sex or even talking, cuddle on the couch.
• Plan for a trip to a place neither of you has earlier been to. It is fun to experience new things for the first time.
• Keep aside the gadgets even if it is only during a meal or while you and your partner watch a show together. Rather, make certain to do this if your partner is talking to you about their day or a specific experience.
• While listening to your partner, make yourself completely emotionally present to them. If you at all cannot manage to do this when they are talking to you, calmly explain your case why and then set aside a specific time in the future to listen to what they have to say.
• Send each other articles so that both of you can have fun and something new to discuss. This also assists in building intellectual intimacy, and it could provide you a much-required mental break if you have kids, or a caregiver to another loved one in the extended family.

Related Blog Post on Intimacy and Relationship

https://www.saarthicounsellingservices.com/blog/reasons-a-tender-touch-cultivates-best-marriage-counselor-india

How to Deepen your Intimacy During Difficult Times

Keys to Rejuvenating Intimacy and Desire in a Long-Term Relationship

If you have ever been the victim of infidelity, the first thing you probably asked was, “why?” The outcomes of infidelity are numerous, and it is just natural to seek to know why your partner opts to cheat, even if knowing why does not bring you any relief. There might be any number of reasons, and there are several kinds of infidelity and cheating that could shed some light on those reasons, opines Shivani.

Infidelity, or cheating, is an act of being unfaithful to your partner. It usually, means engaging in sexual or romantic relations with another person other than his or her significant other, damaging a commitment or promise in the act.

Each instance of infidelity is different and fulfills a distinct need. Even though knowing why a partner cheated probably would not lessen any pain or anger you feel, being capable to rationalize the behavior and define it will allay some confusion. It could also help you feel more confident in terms of how to move forward from the situation, whether that means working on healing your relationship or moving on or should you decide to split up.

What are the five different kinds of infidelity?

Learn more through this blog by India’s eminent marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo where she explains five forms of cheating and things to do if you find yourself the victim of infidelity. Here are the types:

Opportunistic Infidelity

Opportunistic infidelity happens when one person is in love and attached to their partner, but succumbs to their sexual urge and desire for someone else. Generally, this sort of cheating is driven through situational circumstances or opportunity, risk-taking conduct. Shivani says not every act of infidelity is premeditated and forced by dissatisfaction with a current relationship. Perhaps, two individuals were drinking or in some other manner thrown into an opportunity they never anticipated.

Post the fact, the more in love a person is with their significant other, the more guilt they will feel as a result of their physical encounter. However, feelings of guilt seem to fade as the fear of being caught abates.

Obligatory infidelity

This sort of infidelity is formed on the fear that resisting someone’s sexual advances will have an outcome in rejection. People might have feelings of sexual longing, love, and attachment for a partner, but still, end up cheating since they have a strong requirement for approval. Also, their need for approval could cause them to act in a manner that is at odds compared to their other feelings. In simple words, some people cheat, not due to the fact they want to cheat, but because they require the approval that comes besides having the attention of others.

Commemorative Infidelity

This kind of infidelity happens when a person is in a committed relationship but has no feelings for their other half. There is no sexual desire, love, or attachment, just a sense of obligation to keep the couple together. Lacking love and lacking commitment to a present romantic partner are both linked to general feelings of relationship dissatisfaction.

These kinds of people justify cheating by telling themselves they have every right to look for what they are not availing of in their present relationship. Unfulfilled sexual needs could easily come into play here. Perhaps, in their established relationship, individuals are not engaging in the frequency of sex, the pattern of sex, or certain sexual behaviors that they aspire to. This could contribute to their logic to cheat.

Romantic Infidelity

At times (but not always) a deficit in a present relationship leads people to have extradyadic affairs. This sort of infidelity happens when the cheater has a small emotional attachment to their partner. They might be committed to their marriage and making it work, but they desire an intimate, loving connection with someone else.

More than possibly, their commitment to the marriage will stop them from ever leaving their spouse. Romantic infidelity means agony for the other man or woman and the cheating partner, rarely does it go into a long-term, committed relationship. Marital issues have to be quite severe prior to a spouse will leave the marriage for another individual.

Conflicted Romantic Infidelity

This happens when people experience true love and sexual desire for more than one individual at a time. Despite the idealistic notion of having just one true love, it is possible to feel intense romantic love for several people at the same time. While such scenarios are emotionally possible, they are quite complicated and seem to create plenty of anxiety and stress. In this scenario, cheating partners, in their effort not to cause anyone harm, mostly end up hurting everyone.

What to do after being cheated on?

Now that whatever confusion you have hopefully been assuaged, it is up to you to decide what kind of steps to take next. Several marriages and relationships can survive infidelity, but whether or not yours will survive depends on what sort of infidelity took place and how much work you are both willing to put in. It is simply common sense to know that an opportunistic or a habitual cheater will cheat irrespective of how many times their cheating has been discovered and forgiven. Having said that any other reasons why your partner cheated do not mean they would not cheat again, so bear that in mind while deciding what steps to take next.

Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo Says, Learn the Signs and Ways to Rekindle Attraction within Your Relationship

For a relationship to grow, certain things have to be in place: love: to maintain the bond, tenderness, and care that drew both the partners together. Trust: a vital foundation every bond requires to promote a sense of security between significant others, and definitely—attraction—because passion added with excitement keeps the fire burning in any successful relationship.

It’s difficult to put any of these factors above the other, this is due to the fact they all work in sync to keep a relationship going. However, knowing that your spouse experiences an electrifying thrill from mundane things such as your smile, how clothes fit on your body, or maybe even simply watching you work in your element, is a feeling that is not easily traded in a relationship.

This is why at the initial signs that you no longer spark a fire in someone you love, it could feel more than a little unsettling.

This blog by leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about specific signs that might indicate a decrease in how attractive your spouse finds you. In case signs are there, you will also learn ways to rekindle the lost attraction.

Here are some red flags that may indicate that your spouse is facing difficulty to see you as attractive.

What are the signs that suggest your partner is not finding you attractive?

Your spouse is spending more time away from you

When your partner is spending more time away from home or from you. This could be worrying. Yes, it is also true if you and your partner are spending less time together is not always a concern. Sometimes individual spaces are needed. But if your partner repeatedly gives excuses as to why they can’t talk or spend time together. Then it is a sign of losing spark.

Putting less or no effort into the relationship

A sad indicator indeed. Your partner is putting no or less effort in the relationship. Planning activities become things of the past, and getting responses through phones and texts becomes daunting. This is painful specifically when earlier your partner was diligent in making you special early on.

Waning love life or intimacy

An important factor to determine is how your spouse feels about your physical relationship is to examine your sex life. What does getting intimate generally feel like? Are you and your partner taking time to speak and discuss it? This particularly could be noted in married couples. A drastic change in pattern while getting intimate indicates how attractive your partner finds you. When intimacy is completely missing or there is a lack of it, this is a sure sign your partner is losing interest in you. Or another sign is when your partner getting intimate becomes just a general routine for them, they do it just for an obligation nothing more than that.

Frequent fighting

Sometimes small fights are fine, but if your partner has become more irritable towards you and does not waste any opportunity to quarrel with you even on the slightest of issues. It is a sign of waning attraction.

What are the Ways to rekindle the attraction within your relationship?

Knowing your partner no more finds you attractive could be painful. But being aware might be the vital cog to transforming your relationship. Here are some ways to rekindle the lost spark shares Shivani.

Have an open communication

Speakto your spouse openly and honestly about the alteration you have noticed in their attraction to you. Learn how they view you, or if your conduct has changed to an extent that might be causing them to pull away. Knowing all this could give you a clue or two that will take you towards resolving the complexities.

Spend some time apart

Spending time apart does not mean completely cutting off entire communication. It is vital to check from time to time while being apart. But when you spend some time apart by going on some solo trip or going on a vacation with your friends, this may give your partner the opportunity to miss you and also a chance to rediscover your lost self. Perhaps a reunion after this brief separation could ignite lost attraction even more.

Do basic romance

Just remember how you met earlier. With your partner’s indulgence, you would be able to take your relationship back just to the good old days. Go on dates again. Take care to groom yourself and look good again. Send intimate texts or go to movies or dinner dates. Keeping close to your partner and breaking the monotony could help revive the lost attraction.

Probably, marriage brings about the biggest transition in an individual’s life and no matter how ready he/she might be, it will always take the person by surprise. When you begin living with your spouse, changes are bound to happen. Some will bring joy, while others may challenge your patience and sanity. How you adapt to those challenges marriage throws at you and adjust to the changes, will further dictate the course of this lifelong relationship, says Shivani.

So, through this blog renowned couples’ therapist, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few changes and challenges the sacred bond of matrimony would bring in your life.

There will be Several Vulnerable Moments

When you begin your conjugal life with a partner, he or she will gradually discover your strengths and weaknesses. You will share your deepest secrets, and desires and tell them things, which you may not have told anyone before.

But when you share such intimate details with a person, you are bound to feel vulnerable. There will be times when you would wonder if you have done the right thing by revealing it all, but this is what marriage is. Everyone and every circumstance will demand that you trust your partner with your heart and soul. It will not be simple initially, but things will fit into place with time.

Relationship with In-laws Might not be what you Hoped for

We have sufficient Hindi movies and TV serials highlighting the strained relationship between a daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law. It is only natural for people to form a perception of the partner’s family much before even they are married.

However, an individual would only get to know how that relationship would alter his or her life only post getting married. It could be for the good or in the predicted lines of what we have seen in TV shows or movies, but one thing is certain—it will create a deep impact on your life.

Responsibilities will Increase

Under usual circumstances, responsibilities, when shared between two individuals, will decrease. But not in marriage. With every passing year, you will end up getting more responsibilities. And by responsibilities, it is not merely meant for materialistic goals.

When you are married to someone, you also have to bear the responsibility of looking after his or her well-being. And your partner will also have to do the same. The weight of responsibility can at times be overwhelming but when you do a fine job, the rewards will also be manifold.

Certainly, you will Yearn for some Me Time

Companionship is a wonderful thing. Post-marriage, the starting days will be nothing but full of sheer joy. You would see new things that may have remained unobserved till now. You will be spending plenty of time together—be it visiting friends and relatives post the wedding or shopping for household items. The world you kept for yourself, your bed, your room—all the things will now have two people in it.

And there will come a time when you will wish that you could spend some time alone, simply like the way you did before you were not married. And such thoughts will be immediately followed by a feeling of guilt. Believe it this is not simple.

Money will be an Important Factor

It is easier said than done, that love is all you need to keep you happy. But only love cannot provide the food on your plate or the roof to live under. Only money can. You will need to have a bigger house, probably buy a car and when you have a family, you will need money to pay for your kid’s school fees. Marriage can teach even the most carefree individual about the importance of money in his life.

You Might not Fall in Love with your Partner

It may sound strange but not all married couples fall in love with each other. Though there are exceptions who tied the knot after falling in love. In several arranged marriages, where the would-be-spouses only get to know each other shortly, hope to find love post-marriage.

Now, love may happen but there are also probabilities that they may never fall in love. Moreover, plenty of couples fall out of love after being married for a long time. Does it mean their marriage too falls apart? No, not for everyone though.

If you are not driving, you are sleeping, and if you are at work you are texting, writing e-mails and talking, but rarely listening, means actually, listening.

Listening seems to be a declining skill because listening means absolute listening and nothing else Not thinking of tomorrow’s activity, the “To Do” list and the growing message inbox. Relationship Experts Shivani says listening is such a passive act that several of you simply do not do it.

Some studies have indicated that one typically remembers merely 25 to 30% of what one hears. However, ‘Active Listening’ can enhance that figure enormously. One of the methods to use ‘Active Listening’ is to remember the mostly-used expression that “eyes and ears must be used in the same proportion they have been allocated to you.”

In today’s digital world one seems to be constantly playing catch up with voice calls, e-mails, meetings, and ever-expanding tight deadlines. As a result, one seems to be “broadcasting” all the time but quite rarely listening to what is essential.

The kids tend to watch television whilst texting their friends and doing homework. How do they do that? Actually, the answer is that they cannot do all those things well at the same time.

So, is it that essential? Yes, it is. If one doesn’t truly listen one does not get the actual message being communicated. If one doesn’t get the real message then one can’t act appropriately.

If you really want to boost relationships and grow your business then you have to work towards good listening. Here are some of the reasons shared by Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo why listening boosts relationships.

How Listening To Your Partner Can Boost Your Relationships?

You Can Gain Information – If you listen, truly listen; you can learn things about the person, be it your spouse, kids or colleague, their aspirations, their fears, their work, and what you may be able to help them with.

There is so much of the spoken meanings hidden in inflexion, tone, and expression, so listening is critical for understanding and gaining information. And as you all know, information is power. It lets you fashion the necessary responses and strategies to assist the person to whom you are listening.

Increases Your Accuracy – When you listen genuinely, you have a better recollection of vital facts and issues. This can result in fewer miscommunications and errors and makes you more efficient and have more value in your relationships both personal and professional ones.

You Build Trust – When you give your entire attention to the persons expressing thoughts and experiences that are essential to them, they are possibly to see you as a person who really thinks and cares about them.

When you are obviously paying attention to that person and you refrain from interjecting opinions, judgments, and advice, or finishing their sentences, you are seen as someone who cares and can be truly trusted with their information and confidence. This develops trust and later on bonding.

You Form A Relationship – When you listen properly to the other individual’s point of view a real conversation can arise. A meaningful and informed conversation can take place rather than sound bites being chosen and conclusions jumped to. When this genuine interaction takes place, you naturally form a relationship.

The biggest problem in today’s hectic world is that one does not often bother to listen to things carefully, as a result, more friction takes place. Because others perceive that you do not have time for them. This is often the beginning of a collapsing relationship. So, when you are in conversation, let’s be certain to do everything you can to make sure you are being an Active Listener.

It is active listening which leads to solid relationships and relationships are built through several human attributes. At the base of these attributes is LISTENING.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

The relationships with other people need to be healthy for mental and emotional wellbeing which is most important for our happiness and survival. Partners, are those who can support, communicate, listen, and encourage each other emotionally and practically have less stress in their relationship. And they are definitely having a healthier relationship.

Communication Problem

Every relationship has ups and downs whereas successful couples have learned, how to come out or manage any kind of difficult situation nicely. According to the blog by counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, “The root cause of any relationship facing problem is due to poor communication.”

Some Surveys for Divorce

More than 37% of couples blame their partner for their marriage ending 6% blame themselves.

While 74% of couples reported that they work hard to keep their marriage protected.

Causes and Consequence

Majorly some of the reasons for relationship troubles between partners are money, lack of commitment, and communication issues.

Willing Couples Can Solve Their Disputes Easily

Thanks to Shivani Misri Sadhoo – who is India’s leading Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert,  now you can avail her services regarding marital counseling online where she can help you to get your married life back on track, solve disputes and family issues, in a constructive manner.

Does Online Couples Counseling Work?

Research and studies indicate that couples who engage in online relationship counselling with a qualified therapist see an improvement in their overall relationships. All couples go through torrid patches, but when the tough times fail to improve, certain things can aid the partners in getting back on the same page. In fact, it can be more effective when one compares it with in-person or face-to-face counselling because it lets the counsellor notice how you are behaving with your partner while at home when compared to an office-based counselling session.

What Can One Expect in Online Couples Counseling?

During the starting sessions of counselling, you will meet with your therapist online. You won’t have to jump into the problems that you as a couple are having. First, the marriage counselor will get to know each of you. They will find out your individual personalities and how you come together as a couple.

Before understanding the difficulties that you two are having, the couples counsellor requires an understanding of who you are and what you bring to this relationship. Post an initial couple of sessions, your couples counsellor will discuss the admissible issues in your relationship. Then your therapist will figure out a plan as to how to navigate through the roadblocks.

Advantages of Online Couple Therapy

·         It is more affordable for couples where it saves your time and gives you privacy.

·         Very comfortable for group sessions.

·         Easily Accessible.

·         It is most useful for long-distance partners.

·         Get your documents online.

More Features

At the time of online sessions of counseling, all the records for the therapy remains confidential and secured. No one can see or access your documents or things that you have discussed if you want. It keeps your identity completely safe.

What to Expect in an Online Couples Therapy:

Most of couples are seeking for marriage counseling and therapists to resolve their major issues and to understand the cause of their conflict in the family.

·         Get to the root of the problems.

·         Develop goals and a timeline.

·         Learn new skills to improve relationships.

·         Homework outside of sessions.

·         Limit your weakness or vulnerability.

·         Work with a qualified couples counselor.

Other Benefits of Online Couple Counseling

·         A qualified counselor’s advice.

·         Structural planning to achieve goals.

·         Learn the techniques to improve the relationship.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you. Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues or emotional and psychological challenges.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Sometimes remaining happy in a relationship can be tricky but with a trust that has developed over the years remaining happy is not that difficult at all. After all love, trust and compatibility play a big role in being happy as a couple.

Though there are no secrets or formulas for remaining happily married there are certain things that can ensure a merry time for the couples. And definitely some habits before going to sleep are some of those.

In this article, Delhi’s Best Marriage Counselor, Relationship Expert, and Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares things happily married couples do before going to sleep.

They Go To Bed At The Same Time

Keep in mind that, a couple that sleeps together remains together. Thanks to your busy schedules, you hardly get time to spend with each other. In fact, a few couples, who have a different working schedule, may even go to bed at different times. However, it is important for couples to go to sleep at the same time, which helps them to keep intact the warmth and intimacy in their relationship.

They Do Not Attend To Phone Calls Or Texts

Smartphones are both a blessing and a curse in your life. Your overdependency on your phones, particularly social media, can affect your lives and those around you. This is the reason why several couples who enjoy a happy marital life, keep their phone on silent or attend to calls only when it is a real urgency after they go to bed.

They Do Not Bring Their Work To The Bedroom

If you are somebody who continuously thinks about office work on your laptop or phone even minutes while going to bed, you need to alter this habit as quickly as you can. People who think about work past bedtime is less possible to have a happily married life.

They Do Not Go To Bed Angry

This is one trait that happily married couples are seen doing. They seldom go to bed angry. Even if they had a fight or an argument, they make it sure to resolve it. Harboring negative emotions while going to sleep not only impacts your health but also affects your peace of mind in a negative manner.

Keeps Their Bedroom Clutter And Gadget Free

The bedroom is the only place where a couple gets the chance to spend time with each other without any disturbances. This is the sole reason why married couples keep their bedroom clutter and gadget-free ends up spending some quality time in each other’s company.