Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Have you ever felt confused by your partner’s emotional reactions—why they struggle to open up, suddenly withdraw, or need constant reassurance? You may also notice that some people cling tightly to relationships, while others fiercely guard their independence or fear getting too close. These patterns often create misunderstandings, emotional distance, and repeated conflict in relationships.

What many people don’t realise is that these behaviours rarely begin in adulthood. Their roots lie much earlier, in childhood. The emotional bond formed with primary caregivers shapes how we experience closeness, trust, and intimacy later in life. Psychologists call this bond an attachment style, and it plays a powerful, often hidden role in relationship breakdowns.

According to Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is one of the highly experienced relationship counsellors and marital therapists in Delhi and India, attachment styles influence how we express love, respond to emotional needs, and handle conflict. While these patterns develop early, they are not fixed or irreversible, and they are shaped by more than just parental affection.

What Is Attachment Style in a Relationship?

Attachment theory was first proposed by British psychologist John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth. It explains how children are biologically wired to seek safety and closeness with caregivers. When caregivers respond consistently and sensitively, children develop a sense of security and self-worth. When care is inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, or intrusive, children adapt in ways that help them survive—but those adaptations can create challenges in adult relationships.

It’s important to note that attachment strength does not depend on wealth, culture, or education. It is built through everyday emotional exchanges—responses to crying, smiling, fear, or comfort. Personality traits and later life experiences also influence attachment, so relationship struggles cannot be blamed on parents alone.

There are four primary attachment styles.

1. Secure Attachment

People with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy and independence. They are generally warm, caring, and open in their relationships, able to express emotions without excessive fear of abandonment. Because they trust both themselves and others, they don’t constantly seek reassurance or validation.

Securely attached individuals can recognise and regulate their emotions, communicate clearly, and manage conflict constructively. Their emotional stability often creates a sense of safety for their partners, allowing relationships to feel supportive, balanced, and resilient.

2. Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment

Those with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style crave closeness but live with a constant fear of rejection or abandonment. They invest deeply in relationships and often depend heavily on their partner for reassurance. Even small signs of distance—such as delayed replies or emotional withdrawal—can trigger intense anxiety about their worth or desirability.

To regain emotional security, they may act in ways that pull their partner closer, such as becoming overly accommodating, seeking constant validation, or provoking emotional reactions. These behaviours are driven not by manipulation, but by fear. Despite these challenges, anxious individuals are often emotionally aware, capable of deep empathy, and highly attuned to their partner’s feelings when they feel safe.

3. Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment

People with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style value independence and self-reliance above all else. They often view emotional closeness as uncomfortable or intrusive and prefer to keep their feelings private. In relationships, they may withdraw when intimacy increases, avoid vulnerability, or downplay emotional needs—both their own and their partner’s.

This pattern often develops in response to caregivers who were emotionally unavailable or rejecting, teaching the child to suppress needs and rely solely on themselves. While dismissive-avoidant individuals may appear confident and content alone, the desire for connection still exists beneath the surface. It is often restrained by a learned belief that closeness leads to disappointment or loss of freedom.

4. Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

Fearful-avoidant, also known as disorganised attachment, is marked by deep internal conflict. Individuals both desire closeness and fear it intensely. Love feels unsafe, unpredictable, or overwhelming. This style is often linked to early experiences of neglect, trauma, or chaotic caregiving, where the same caregiver was a source of both comfort and fear.

As adults, these individuals may swing between emotional closeness and sudden withdrawal, struggle to regulate emotions, and experience high levels of mistrust or self-sabotage. Intimacy can trigger anxiety rather than comfort, leading to volatile patterns, withdrawal, anger, or avoidance. Beneath these behaviours lies a strong longing for safety and connection, paired with a belief that love is dangerous or undeserved.

Attachment styles quietly shape how we love, communicate, and respond to emotional closeness. While formed early, they continue to evolve through life experiences and relationships. Understanding these patterns helps reduce blame, increase empathy, and bring clarity to recurring relationship struggles. With awareness and support, individuals and couples can move toward healthier emotional bonds, greater security, and more fulfilling relationships.

Rejection has always been a part of growing up, but for today’s youth, it often feels heavier, louder, and more public than ever before. In a world shaped by social media, instant feedback, and constant comparison, rejection is no longer just a private disappointment.

It can feel like a public verdict. From being left on “read” to not getting enough likes or being excluded online, digital culture has transformed how young people experience and process rejection. This raises an important question about whether the online world is making emotional resilience harder to build, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is one of the top couples therapists and relationship counsellors in Delhi.

Rejection in the Age of Visibility

In earlier generations, rejection usually happened in limited social circles. A declined invitation, a failed exam, or a romantic disappointment was often experienced privately or shared with a few trusted people. Today, online platforms make social interactions visible and measurable.

When a post receives little engagement or a message goes unanswered, rejection feels quantified and exposed. For many young people, these small digital signals are interpreted as judgments on their worth, making rejection feel constant rather than occasional.

The Pressure of Constant Comparison

Social media encourages users to compare their lives with carefully curated versions of others’ success and happiness. When young people see peers achieving milestones, gaining attention, or appearing confident and admired, rejection can feel like personal failure rather than a normal life experience.

This comparison culture amplifies self-doubt and can make setbacks feel more significant than they truly are. Instead of seeing rejection as a temporary obstacle, many begin to internalise it as a defining trait.

Fear of Public Failure

Online culture has blurred the line between private mistakes and public embarrassment. A rejection can quickly become visible through screenshots, unfollows, or subtle online signals. This creates a fear of trying at all.

Many young people hesitate to apply for opportunities, express feelings, or share creative work because the possibility of rejection feels too public and permanent. The internet rarely forgets, and this perceived permanence adds emotional weight to every risk.

Reduced Opportunities to Build Resilience

Resilience is often built through repeated exposure to disappointment and recovery. However, digital interactions can limit this process. Online rejection tends to be abrupt, silent, or ambiguous, offering little explanation or closure.

Being ignored or excluded online does not provide the feedback needed to learn and grow. Over time, this can make rejection feel confusing and deeply personal, rather than a normal part of human interaction.

Emotional Validation and External Approval

Online culture places strong emphasis on validation through likes, comments, and followers. When approval becomes external and numerical, rejection feels like the absence of value. Youth who grow up equating attention with self-worth may struggle more when validation is withdrawn. This dependency can make rejection emotionally overwhelming, as it challenges both confidence and identity.

Learning to Reframe Rejection

Despite these challenges, online culture does not make rejection impossible to handle; it simply changes how it must be understood. Teaching young people to separate online feedback from self-worth is essential.

Rejection, whether online or offline, is not a reflection of personal value but a natural outcome of diverse opinions, preferences, and circumstances. Developing digital literacy, emotional awareness, and self-compassion can help youth navigate rejection more healthily.

Online culture has undeniably reshaped how today’s youth experience rejection, making it more visible, frequent, and emotionally intense. While this environment presents new challenges, it also offers an opportunity to redefine resilience for the digital age. By encouraging meaningful offline connections, fostering self-worth beyond online approval, and normalising rejection as part of growth, young people can learn not only to cope with rejection but to grow stronger through it.

Yes, a movie ends on a happy note — the hero and heroine walking into their “happily ever after.” But real life actually begins from there. When two people meet and fall in love, they make promises — some spoken, many unspoken.

As days turn into months and years, conflicts slip in naturally. Misunderstandings arise, expectations grow heavier, and the magic of the beginning can start to dim under the weight of everyday reality. But not all conflicts are bad. In fact, some are necessary. They peel away the illusions of perfection and invite both partners to grow. Yet when arguments begin to cross a line — when every disagreement feels like a battlefield — that’s when it’s time to pause.

How to de-escalate heated fights amongst couples?

Arguments shouldn’t spoil the bond; instead, learning to de-escalate them can strengthen it. And to help couples handle these stormy moments, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a leading relationship expert and one of the highly experienced marriage counsellors in Delhi, India.

Press the Pause Button

When an argument starts to intensify, it helps if one person presses pause right away. A relationship grows stronger when both people choose connection over winning, because it’s not about who’s right—it’s about how you treat each other while you work through things together.

Taking a short break lets emotions cool, prevents regretful words, and gives each person space to reflect on what they’re really feeling.

Research even shows that about twenty minutes is often enough to bring your heart rate down and regain a sense of calm. In moments like these, the healthiest thing you can do is step back and say, “Let’s stop here for a moment. We need to hear each other out.”

Reflect

Once you hit the pause button, the next step is to reflect on your own feelings, on what the situation is really asking of you, and on how things might look from your partner’s side. This small moment of self-check creates space for calm and clarity, making it easier to speak with empathy rather than react out of frustration.

It’s natural to feel convinced that we’re right and the other person is wrong, but pausing helps us soften that instinct and look at the situation with a bit more honesty. In that brief break, you can sort through what you actually need, what may have triggered you, and how to express yourself without blame.

Often, just taking those few intentional seconds is enough to shift the entire tone of the conversation and prevent it from spiraling.

Find out the Real Why

When couples argue, the real issue often slips beneath the surface, buried under reactions, tone, or the heat of the moment‌. That’s why it helps to pause and look for the⁠ true trigger—sometimes it’s something as small as feeling unheard, overwhelmed⁠, or unappreciated, rather than whatever started the argument on the surface.

If you peel back the layers a bit, you might find that one person was already carrying stress‍ from elsewhere, or that an old, unresolved concern got brushed up‍ again without anyone realising it. Getting to that “why” isn’t about assigning blame; it’s about understanding the emotional undercurrent‌ so both people can respond with empathy instead of frustration.

Listen to Your Partner

Sometimes the simplest advice is the hardest to follow — just listen. In the middle of a heated argument, couples often talk over each other, raising their voices without actually hearing a word being said. But listening is one of the most powerful tools for de-escalation.

When you slow down and genuinely pay attention, you’re not just absorbing words — you’re acknowledging your partner’s feelings, showing that their emotions matter, and creating space for understanding instead of defensiveness.

Real listening means trying to grasp what they’re really upset about, what they need, and why it matters to them. It’s a sign of respect, care, and willingness to fix the issue rather than fuel it further.

And often, once someone feels heard, the tension softens naturally; solutions appear more easily, and the conversation becomes less about winning and more about reconnecting. Listening doesn’t magically solve everything, but it opens the door to resolution — and that’s usually all a relationship needs to start moving forward again.

Choose Your Words

It’s surprising how quickly a‍ few careless words can‍ turn a small disagreement into something painful. In the heat of an argument—especially between couples—words can come out harsh, thoughtless, or completely misunderstood, and once they’re said, you can’t take them back.

That’s‌ why choosing your words‍ with intention matters so much, instead of slipping into blame,⁠ personal attacks, or sweeping statements like “you always” or “you never,” try grounding the conversation in your own feelings with gentle “I”‌ statements.

Slow down, listen without interrupting, and make space for your partner to feel heard. Not every disagreement needs a winner; sometimes the real victory is understanding each other better. A little patience, clarity, and‍ kindness can keep a difficult⁠ moment from becoming a damaging one.

In a nutshell, de-escalating arguments isn’t about winning—it is about caring for each other. Take a step back,‍ listen, understand what’s really bothering each other, and communicate gently. Little pauses, honest reflection, and thoughtful words can turn tension into connection, helping couples grow closer instead of drifting apart.

Check out Popular Blog Posts on relationship tips on Couple fights

• Why Fighting Over Who’s Right Is the Wrong Approach in a Relationship? – One of the top couples therapists in Delhi and Gurgaon, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, explains why arguing over right vs. wrong harms relationships.

• How To Make Your Boyfriend Talk after a Fight? – How to make your boyfriend talk after a fight? Answers Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the leading marriage counsellors and one of the best relationship therapists in India.

• Is Your Relationship Worth Fighting For? Signs You Should Not Give Up Just Yet – Marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells if your relationship is worth fighting for?

• Why Fighting with your Partner is Good for your Relationship – Shivani Misri Sadhoo at Saarthi Counselling Services is there to guide and help you if you are experiencing too much of a fight or constraints in your relationship.

• Do You Find It Difficult to Approach Your Partner After a Fight? – Marriage Counsellor Shivani Sadhoo Reveals How to Break the Silence Post a Fight with Your Partner

When you’re deeply in love with someone, it’s so easy to let certain things slide. In those early, starry-eyed days of love, everything feels magical — you’re wrapped up in affection, laughter, and the thrill of being together. But as that initial “lovey-dovey” phase begins to settle, reality slowly seeps in. You start noticing the small differences — the way you both think, react, and handle situations. Disagreements begin to show up, and that’s perfectly normal.

Contrary to what many people believe, conflicts don’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with your relationship. In fact, they’re an inevitable part of any close emotional bond. Conflicts can either be constructive or destructive — it all depends on how couples handle them. When arguments leave you feeling unsafe, disrespected, or unresolved, they can become toxic. However, when it comes to the everyday disagreements and annoyances that every long-term relationship faces, expressing your frustrations and discussing them is not only normal but also necessary.

Interestingly, research shows that couples who argue — and resolve those arguments — tend to stay together longer than those who suppress their issues. The key lies in how you navigate those rough patches.

So, if you’ve recently had a nasty fight with your boyfriend and now find yourself facing the silent aftermath, wondering how to make him talk again, don’t panic. Silence after a fight can feel heavy, but it doesn’t have to mean the end of communication.

How to make your boyfriend talk after a fight?

Here are some thoughtful ways to break the ice and reconnect with him after an argument, shared by none other than Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the leading marriage counsellors and one of the best relationship therapists in India.

Stay Calm

Perhaps one of the first things you can do after a fight with your boyfriend is to disconnect for a while and calm yourself down. A calm mind helps you think clearly and logically and understand the situation better. When you are composed, you can express yourself without anger or blame, which makes it easier for your boyfriend to open up and talk. Giving yourself time to relax not only helps you regain balance but also creates space for honest and peaceful communication.

Choose Written Communication

You’ve just had a fight with your boyfriend and are not on talking terms at all. So, what next? How about turning to written communication? When words fail to come out face-to-face, writing can bridge the silence. Thanks to the digital age, messages travel faster than thoughts, giving you time to express feelings without interruptions or ego clashes. A simple text can ease tension, clear misunderstandings, and gently open the door to conversation once again.

Retrospection

Retrospection is vital after a heated argument, as it allows one to look inward and evaluate their actions and communication style. By identifying what triggered his anger or hurt, one gains clarity about emotional patterns and underlying issues. Taking accountability for one’s role instead of assigning blame fosters openness and trust. Often, what seems like a small disagreement hides deeper feelings—such as feeling neglected or misunderstood—and through reflection, these real concerns can be addressed, encouraging him to talk again.

Give Him Time To Think

Sometimes it is essential to give your boyfriend some space after a fight. As they say, silence is golden—and it truly is at times. He needs time to process his thoughts and emotions, which are probably tangled and intense right now. Don’t overburden him with constant messages or questions; instead, let him breathe. When the storm settles, approach him calmly, with understanding and warmth. A gentle tone and open heart can do wonders, making it easier for him to express what he truly feels.

Surprise Him

Conflicts or arguments can happen for many reasons, and sometimes emotions get the best of us. To help make your boyfriend talk after a nasty fight, you can take a gentle approach by surprising him with his favourite meal, a small gift, or something meaningful that shows you still care. This simple gesture can melt away anger and open the door for calm communication. Once he feels your effort and sincerity, he’ll be more willing to talk, understand your side, and make things right again.

Lend Your Ears

Once your partner is ready to talk, make sure you listen to him carefully. Lend your ears completely. Disconnect yourself from digital media to reconnect with him genuinely. Give him your undivided attention and let him feel that his thoughts matter. Avoid interrupting or defending yourself; instead, focus on understanding his emotions. Maintain gentle eye contact and use a calm tone to create a safe space. Sometimes, just being fully present can melt the tension and open his heart to speak freely again.

Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but how you handle them makes all the difference. Stay calm, reflect, give space, and communicate with empathy—whether through words or gestures. Listen with an open heart, show care, and let love guide you back to understanding and connection.

Relationships are rarely perfect. Every couple experiences phases of closeness and distance, highs and lows. Yet, it’s often the little things—a warm hug, holding hands, or a gentle touch on the shoulder—that strengthen emotional bonds. Human touch plays a far more powerful role than many realize, promoting happiness, trust, and emotional security. Simple gestures like caresses, back rubs, or embraces release oxytocin, reducing stress and deepening connections.

When touch is absent for too long, a condition known as touch starvation can develop, creating feelings of isolation and distress. Recognizing its signs and learning ways to reconnect physically and emotionally is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is one of India’s top couples and marriage counselors.

Understanding Touch Starvation

Touch starvation, sometimes called “skin hunger,” occurs when the body goes without nurturing physical contact. The skin’s nerves and pressure receptors respond to touch, triggering the release of “feel-good” chemicals like oxytocin. Without it, the nervous system can become restless, increasing stress and loneliness. Over time, prolonged absence of touch can impact both emotional and psychological well-being.

Why Does Physical Touch Matter?

Humans are wired for connection. From birth, gentle touch communicates safety, love, and security. Touch continues to play a vital role throughout life, offering multiple benefits:

• Reduces Stress: Touch lowers cortisol levels, calms the nervous system, and boosts mood-regulating chemicals like dopamine and serotonin.

• Strengthens Emotional Bonds: Hugs and gentle touches release oxytocin, enhancing trust, intimacy, and positive feelings toward others.

• Promotes Physical Health: Regular nurturing touch can improve immunity and lower blood pressure.

• Supports Mental Health: Touch has been shown to ease sadness, reduce anxiety, and lift overall mood.

Even small gestures—such as holding hands, a pat on the back, or a gentle embrace—can make a profound difference.

Signs You May Be Touch-Starved

Feeling disconnected from your partner or loved ones may indicate touch starvation. Common signs include:

• Persistent Loneliness: You may feel isolated even when surrounded by loved ones if physical affection is missing.

• Mood Imbalances: Lack of touch can reduce oxytocin levels, leading to irritability, anxiety, or low mood.

• Heightened Sensitivity: When touch is scarce, even brief physical contact can feel deeply comforting and emotionally significant.

Ways to Overcome Touch Starvation

• Self-Touch and Self-Care – Self-touch, like hugging yourself or placing a hand over your heart, can provide comfort and ease stress. Practicing mindful self-care, extending compassion inward, and treating yourself with kindness are essential parts of addressing touch starvation.

• Communicate with Loved Ones – Openly expressing your need for physical affection with your partner, family, or friends can help bridge the gap. Virtual interactions, such as video calls or heartfelt conversations, can also provide emotional nourishment when in-person contact isn’t possible.

• Alternative Forms of Touch – Engaging in activities that provide tactile stimulation, such as pet therapy, massage, weighted blankets, or using stress-relief objects, can help satisfy the body’s need for touch.

• Appreciate Small Gestures – Daily, simple acts—like sitting close, sharing a gentle touch, or exchanging a meaningful glance—can strengthen intimacy and connection. Even subtle gestures contribute to emotional bonding.

• Reconnect Through Memory – Recalling past moments of affection can reinforce emotional closeness and help the mind feel the warmth of nurturing touch.

Touch is more than physical contact; it is essential emotional nourishment. When absent, it can leave individuals feeling lonely, anxious, and disconnected. However, through self-care, communication, mindfulness, and small acts of connection, touch starvation can be addressed. Rebuilding meaningful physical and emotional closeness helps restore trust, love, and well-being in relationships.

In every relationship, honesty is often described as the cornerstone of trust and intimacy. Couples who value transparency usually feel more connected and secure. Yet the idea of absolute honesty—sharing every thought, feeling, or opinion without filter—raises important questions.

Can complete openness strengthen a relationship, or can it sometimes create more harm than harmony? It’s being explained by relationship expert and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What is the Role of Honesty in Relationships?

Honesty provides the foundation on which trust is built. When partners are truthful, they foster an atmosphere of safety and reliability. Admitting mistakes, acknowledging emotions, and expressing needs openly are all examples of honesty that support healthy bonding, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a leading couples therapist in India.

However, honesty is more than just stating facts. The intention and manner of communication play a crucial role. Truth spoken with sensitivity can build closeness, while truth expressed harshly or without consideration may cause emotional damage.

The Challenges of Absolute Honesty – While honesty is essential, absolute honesty—sharing every thought without reflection—may not always serve the relationship. Several challenges emerge when honesty is taken to its extreme:

Overwhelming the Partner – Not all thoughts require expression. Passing or impulsive ideas, if shared unnecessarily, may create confusion or hurt without adding value.

Tone and Delivery – A Brutal or blunt truth can feel like criticism. Reframing a statement with empathy can make the same truth easier to hear. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” one could say, “I feel unheard when I talk about my day.”

Maintaining Emotional Safety – Relationships thrive when both partners feel emotionally safe. Absolute honesty, expressed without care, may erode this safety and create distance.

Privacy vs. Secrecy – Every person deserves a degree of privacy. This is not the same as keeping secrets; it is about recognising that not every private thought needs to be shared in order for the relationship to remain healthy.

Striking the Right Balance – The healthiest approach lies in thoughtful honesty, not absolute honesty. This means being genuine while also considering the emotional impact on the partner. Key aspects of balanced honesty include:

• Expressing feelings and needs clearly so that misunderstandings are reduced.
• Communicating with compassion, ensuring the truth is shared with kindness.
• Avoiding unnecessary bluntness, as honesty should build the relationship rather than weaken it.
• Listening with openness, since honesty also involves accepting a partner’s truth with respect.

Absolute honesty is not always beneficial in relationships. What strengthens intimacy and trust is authentic, considerate honesty—the type that is truthful yet compassionate, open yet respectful of emotional safety. Relationships flourish when honesty is practiced in a way that nurtures growth rather than causing harm.

Instead of aiming to share every thought without filter, couples are encouraged to focus on honesty that deepens connection, builds trust, and allows both partners to feel safe being their true selves.

Being single is not a flaw. It can be a conscious, empowered, and deeply fulfilling choice. While society often paints romantic relationships and marriage as the ultimate milestones of adult life, many people are choosing a different path. They don’t see marriage as the be-all and end-all. Instead, they prioritise personal growth, career goals, creative pursuits, spiritual exploration, and deepening connections with friends and family.

What makes one stay single?

If you are wondering why some people genuinely love staying single, here are four reasons shared by leading relationship and marriage therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

1. They love their Independence

One of the biggest reasons people enjoy staying single is the freedom that comes with it. Relationships often involve compromises, shared responsibilities, and constant coordination—which can feel limiting for those who deeply value their independence. When you’re single, you can set your own schedule, chase personal goals, and make decisions without having to factor in someone else’s needs.

That kind of autonomy can be incredibly fulfilling, especially for those who thrive on self-reliance and personal growth. Choosing to stay single doesn’t mean someone is selfish—it simply means they’re prioritising their own well-being and sense of identity. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

2. Painful Past Experience

Another reason some people choose to stay single is because of painful past experiences. When someone has been deeply hurt in a previous relationship, it can leave emotional scars that take a long time to heal. The fear of being hurt again makes it hard to trust or open up.

Even if they want love, the memories of heartbreak hold them back. Staying single becomes a way to protect their heart, to avoid the pain they once knew too well.

3. Longing and Boundaries

Some people avoid relationships because their emotional needs feel too intense, even shameful. They fear being a burden, so they isolate themselves to protect others—and themselves. Others are aware of their neediness but try to manage it, often shaped by early experiences with emotionally demanding caregivers.

They might avoid intimacy to protect their boundaries or fear being overwhelmed by a partner’s needs. Both responses are valid and deeply human. Healing starts by understanding your story, accepting where you are, and gently making space for both connection and self-protection.

4. Avoid Commitment

Some people stay single because they fear commitment—not out of coldness, but from a deep, often quiet vulnerability. The idea of merging their life with someone else can feel suffocating or risky. Maybe they’ve seen relationships fall apart or felt trapped in the past.

Commitment demands trust, openness, and emotional risk, which can be daunting. For them, staying single offers a sense of control and emotional safety. It’s not that they don’t crave connection—they just struggle with the weight of promises that feel too heavy or permanent to carry.

In a nutshell, people stay single for all sorts of deeply human reasons—some love their freedom, others are healing from old wounds. Some guard their hearts with healthy boundaries, while others quietly fear the weight of commitment. Whatever the reason, choosing to stay single can be a brave, thoughtful, and beautifully intentional way to live.

Life is a journey, and every journey is bound to encounter detours, bumps, and wrong turns. Our past mistakes often feel like heavy chains, weighing us down, and holding us back from moving forward. But what if you could break free from these chains and start anew?

What are some of the ways to break free from the chains of past mistakes?

Let Shivani Misri Sadhoo, India’s leading relationship expert and couples counsellor be your guide in this transformative process as she explains the process.

Acknowledge and Accept

The first step to breaking free is acknowledging your mistakes. Denial only prolongs the pain and leaves you stuck in a loop of regret. Take a moment to reflect on your past actions. Ask yourself: What went wrong? What could I have done differently? Self-awareness is key, but it must be paired with self-acceptance. Remember, mistakes are part of being human—they shape who we are and help us grow.

Forgive Yourself

Forgiveness is a powerful tool for liberation. Often, we hold ourselves hostage to guilt, replaying our errors like a broken record. To move forward, you need to forgive yourself. Self-compassion is not about excusing your actions but about understanding that you are a work in progress. Write a letter to yourself, acknowledging the mistake, expressing regret, and affirming your commitment to learn and improve.

Learn the Lesson

Every mistake carries a lesson waiting to be learned. Instead of dwelling on the error, focus on what it has taught you. Perhaps it revealed a blind spot in your behaviour, highlighted a toxic pattern or showed you the value of patience. Mistakes are life’s greatest teachers. Extract the wisdom they offer, and use it as fuel to propel yourself forward.

Let Go of the Past

Letting go is easier said than done, but it is essential for healing. Holding onto the past is like dragging an anchor—your future cannot thrive while you’re rooted in regret. Engage in practices like mindfulness or meditation to focus on the present. Visualize yourself cutting the chains of your past mistakes and walking into a brighter future.

Take Action Toward Growth

Breaking free from past mistakes isn’t just about reflection; it’s about taking proactive steps to grow. If your mistake hurt someone, apologize and make amends. If it was a professional error, seek opportunities to upskill. Forward motion is key. Start small, set achievable goals, and celebrate your progress.

Surround Yourself with Support

No one breaks free alone. Seek guidance from a trusted friend, family member, or mentor who can guide you toward self-discovery. Sharing your journey with others can lighten the load and provide new perspectives.

The Power of Renewal

Mistakes do not define you; how you respond to them does. Life’s greatest transformations often emerge from its darkest moments. By acknowledging, forgiving, and learning, you can break free from the chains of your past and step into a future filled with possibility.

Your past is just a chapter—not the whole story. Embrace the journey of growth and allow yourself the freedom to begin again.

We live in an era where time seems to slip through our fingers like sand. There’s always another errand to run, another deadline to meet, and another responsibility to juggle. Amidst this whirlwind of activity, our relationships often take a backseat.

We tend to overlook or take for granted the special moments that nurture and sustain our bonds.

Whether it’s taking a leisurely walk in the park, sharing a quiet cup of morning coffee, or watching the star-studded sky by the sea, these seemingly small moments are the building blocks of true connection and intimacy.

What happens when your partner doesn’t have time for these precious moments and how to rectify the situation?

Here are 7 simple yet meaningful ways to bridge the gap and keep the connection alive shared by one of Delhi’s leading couples therapists, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Greet Each Other

Sometimes, little things go unnoticed in relationships, yet they hold profound importance. Greeting and parting gestures, like warmly saying hello or goodbye to your partner, are among these subtle yet impactful acts.

They signify attentiveness, respect, and care, showing your partner they are valued and cherished in your life. By consistently acknowledging their presence and showing interest in their day, these simple gestures strengthen emotional bonds and foster a foundation of mutual respect and security in a relationship.

Talk to Each Other

Talk to each other. Setting aside dedicated time to connect with your partner and genuinely inquire about their day demonstrates a profound interest in their life.

By actively listening and remembering details they share, such as their projects or challenges, you show that their experiences matter deeply to you. This open communication nurtures intimacy and fortifies the foundation of trust and understanding in your relationship.

Equally important is expressing your own feelings and needs openly, using “I” statements to avoid blame and promote mutual empathy. This approach cultivates a supportive environment where both partners feel valued and heard, nurturing a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Listen To Each Other

Communication is a two-way process. It involves more than just speaking; it’s about truly listening and understanding each other. When partners actively listen without deflection or defensiveness, they create a safe space for vulnerability and shared feelings.

Feeling heard builds trust and respect, showing that each person’s thoughts and emotions matter. While hearing is passive, listening is active and requires genuine attention to grasp the speaker’s perspective fully. In essence, effective listening strengthens connections by validating each other’s experiences and nurturing deeper understanding in the relationship.

Common Interests

When two people share or have similar interests, it can significantly ease the challenges when one partner lacks time for the other. Rather than viewing chores and responsibilities as barriers, tackling them together becomes opportunity for bonding.

Whether it’s grocery shopping, exploring new hobbies, or cleaning the house as a team, these shared moments foster deeper connection and joy. Even if partners are opposites, finding common ground and meeting halfway ensures a balanced and fulfilling relationship.

Be Supportive

Sometimes all it takes is to understand each other’s commitments when your partner doesn’t have enough time for you. By being mindful of their needs and demonstrating how they can make you feel loved and cherished through small gestures, you foster cooperation.

Making requests instead of demands shows flexibility and supports their responsibilities. Acknowledge their time constraints, offer encouragement, and reassure them of your unwavering support, building a strong foundation of understanding in your relationship.

Say NO to Technology For Some Time

You will find that setting limits on technology can greatly enhance quality time with your partner. Designate tech-free zones like the dinner table, and establish regular “techno-curfews” for uninterrupted moments together.

By resisting the urge to check devices during conversations or breaks, you demonstrate genuine focus and respect. This small gesture prioritizes your partner over distractions, strengthening your connection even in everyday moments.

Sweet Surprises

Sometimes, sweet surprises can win your partner’s heart and attention, especially when they don’t have much time. Plan creative, personalized activities based on their interests, like a romantic getaway or a concert. The anticipation and shared joy strengthen your bond.

Capture these moments with photos and stories, creating lasting memories. Surprise your partner to keep the relationship exciting and meaningful.

These tips emphasize the importance of small, meaningful actions in nurturing relationships. By greeting, communicating, listening, sharing interests, supporting each other, limiting technology, and planning sweet surprises, couples can maintain intimacy and connection even during busy times.

The internet has indeed revolutionized the world. Gone are the days when information was scarce and communication was slow. Today, with just a few clicks or taps, we can delve into a vast repository of knowledge on virtually any topic and connect with individuals worldwide in an instant. Social media, in particular, has streamlined the process of finding romantic partners, transcending geographical boundaries and time zones.

Yet, amid its convenience, social media has also become a breeding ground for relationship issues. The same platforms that bring couples closer together can also harbour hidden red flags that may signal trouble ahead.

To understand these social media red flags, let’s explore the perspective of top relationship expert and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo on the social media behaviours that should not be ignored in relationships.

What are the social media red flags in relationships?

Pretending to be single

When a partner behaves as if they’re single on social media—keeping relationship status hidden, avoiding posting photos together, or asking not to be tagged—it raises red flags. While some value privacy, constant avoidance of mentioning the relationship may indicate keeping options open or a lack of commitment. Genuine partners don’t hide relationships; secrecy may suggest dishonesty, embarrassment, or external pressure. Openness and acknowledgement are essential for healthy relationships.

Is your partner spending too much time on social media?

Spending excessive time on social media during dates can detract from romance, signalling that your partner’s focus isn’t on you. It may indicate addiction, where the virtual world overshadows real connections. Social media’s curated facade fosters dissatisfaction and can be an escape from unhappiness. Ignoring moments like sunsets hints at prioritizing screens over shared experiences. Recognizing these signs is crucial; excessive social media use can signal deeper issues affecting relationships and personal well-being.

Posting flirtatious remarks on others’ social media posts

Flirting with others on social media, especially through public comments, signals a lack of commitment and respect in a relationship. This behaviour undermines trust and emotional security, akin to infidelity. Engaging in such actions can lead to feelings of betrayal and hurt. Consistently leaving flirty comments on others’ posts raises doubts about one’s intentions and loyalty. It’s crucial to reflect on whether this behaviour aligns with your expectations for a healthy, monogamous relationship.

Not accepting social media requests

Many a time, refusing to accept a connection request on social media signals reluctance to integrate into each other’s lives. It suggests a lack of transparency and openness. Denying the request may indicate a desire to keep aspects of one’s life hidden, potentially signalling dishonesty or unfaithfulness. By rejecting the connection, the partner may be implying a disregard for the relationship’s importance or the other person’s feelings. Overall, refusal to connect on social media can raise concerns about trust and commitment.

Reluctant in posting your relationship online

Some people choose privacy, but when a partner avoids posting about the relationship on social media while being active otherwise, it raises concerns. The absence of acknowledgement could signal a lack of commitment or reluctance to publicly affirm the relationship. This omission may lead to feelings of exclusion and impact self-esteem negatively. Comparing one’s relationship to others’ flashy posts only emphasizes the authenticity of real-life connections.

Inconsistent behaviour or mismatch between online and offline conduct

When someone’s online persona is drastically different from their offline behaviour, it can raise concerns about authenticity and honesty in a relationship. While it’s common for people to curate their online presence to some extent, a significant inconsistency like this can be a red flag. For instance, imagine if your partner constantly shares posts about loyalty and trust online, but in reality, they frequently lie to you about their whereabouts or interactions with others. This mismatch between their digital facade and real-life actions could erode trust and breed resentment in the relationship over time.