Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Learn with India’s Top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Life is not always about a singular pursuit or outcome, it’s the culmination of various experiences, emotions, and journeys that make it truly meaningful. In the hustle and bustle of today’s fast-paced world, where stress and challenges seem to be the order of the day, a simple smile can work wonders. A genuine smile has the power to transcend barriers, brighten up a gloomy day, and create connections that uplift both the giver and the recipient.

So, let’s find out the tips and tricks to add smiles and cheer to people’s lives from India’s eminent couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What are the ways to bring a smile to someone’s face?

Shivani Sadhoo says, being able to bring a smile or someone’s face is often the way to make someone feel better who is probably feeling down due to certain issues. Some of the ways to make a person smile are, you need to give them:

Compliments: 

Genuine compliments hold the power to uplift and touch hearts. Instead of a plain old “good job,” make it special. Notice the sweat they put into a project, the cool ideas in their art, or the delicious twist in their cooking. Your attention and appreciation mean a lot!

Show Affection: 

A simple hug conveys warmth and care, releasing “feel-good” chemicals in the brain. It makes us feel loved and understood. When someone hugs us, it’s like a cozy gesture that brings joy. The connection and comfort from a hug can easily bring a smile to our faces.

Share Humour: 

Laughter truly is the best medicine, and sharing a good laugh can instantly lighten the mood. Share a funny meme, a light-hearted joke, or a witty anecdote. In a world bombarded with stressors, a dose of humor can be a welcomed respite.

Listen to others: 

Sometimes, all someone needs is a listening ear. Truly engage in conversations, show empathy, and be present in the moment. By letting others express themselves without judgment, you create a space where they can freely share their thoughts and concerns, often leading to a genuine smile of relief.

The Power of Nature: 

A simple walk in nature can make someone smile. It can reduce stress and anxiety, and increase feelings of happiness and well-being. Studies have shown that spending time in nature can lead to improved mental health and physical health.

A Gift of Love: 

Handmade gifts or personalized tokens of appreciation carry a unique charm. Create a scrapbook, a custom playlist, or a piece of art that reflects your connection and shared memories. These thoughtful gifts demonstrate your effort and consideration, bringing genuine smiles to those who receive them.

Be Kind: 

In a world that sometimes feels impersonal, a random act of kindness can be a breath of fresh air. Whether it’s paying for someone’s coffee in line behind you or leaving an uplifting note for a coworker, these gestures create a ripple effect of positivity. Remember, kindness doesn’t need a reason; it’s a gift in itself.

A Helping Hand: 

Helping the needy brings joy by making a positive impact. Knowing you’ve made a difference, even small, can create a sense of fulfillment. Seeing others happier due to your kindness can lead to smiles, as it shows the power of compassion and generosity.

Personal Touch: 

Calling your parents instead of texting adds a personal touch. Hearing their voices and having a real conversation shows care and interest. It creates a warmer connection, reminding them of the old ways and making them smile by feeling valued and cherished.

Celebrate Together: 

Celebrating wins, big or small, spreads happiness by acknowledging achievements. Whether it’s a minor accomplishment or a major milestone, recognition shows you care and share in their joy. This simple act of support boosts their spirits, leading to smiles and a stronger sense of togetherness.

Smiling is a powerful way to spread positivity and make others feel happy and appreciated. It can be contagious and help to lift the spirits of those around us. Making others smile helps to create a sense of connection, belonging, and joy, which are essential for our mental and emotional well-being.

Eminent Marriage Counselor and Psychologist Shivani Sadhoo Explains

Every relationship is unique and built on trust, love, and commitment. Cheating disrupts this foundation, causing emotional distress and eroding the bond between partners, jeopardizing the integrity of the relationship. Understanding why a cheating partner continues to deceive is a complex endeavor, involving a blend of psychology, emotions, and personal motivations. In this article, India’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Sadhoo explains the reasons and ways to deal with it.

What are the types of cheating?

Types of Cheating could include anything from the points given below as shared by Shivani Sadhoo.

• Emotional Cheating: Harbouring romantic feelings for someone outside the committed relationship, often sharing personal thoughts and emotions with that person rather than with the partner.
• Physical Cheating: Engaging in intimate physical acts with someone other than the partner.
• Cyber Cheating: Pursuing romantic or intimate (physical) interactions online, including online affairs.
• Financial Cheating: Concealing financial actions or spending without the partner’s knowledge or consent.

Reasons why partners cheat on each other and what are the solutions?

There are several factors that may compel partners to cheat on each other but they also have solutions to come out of that trap:

1. To Protect their ego

Cheating can inflict guilt and shame on the unfaithful partner, making it hard for them to confront their actions. Lying becomes a defense mechanism to protect their ego from further damage. They may rationalize their behavior, believing that the truth would expose them to judgment and rejection.

Solution: Seek non-judgmental support from friends, family, or counselors to gain perspective and build resilience.

2. Fear of confrontation drives the cheating partner to fabricate lies, evading the emotional turmoil they caused. Fear pushes them deeper into deceit, avoiding inevitable pain and confrontation.

Solution: Encourage open dialogue to confront the truth and rebuild trust.

3. Relationship preservation

Paradoxically, dishonesty is used to salvage a deteriorating relationship. They fear the truth will end it.

Solution: The solution lies in fostering a safe space for communication, encouraging honesty, and addressing the root issues to rebuild trust and improve the relationship’s prospects.

4. Escape from Emotional Responsibility

Infidelity often stems from unresolved emotional issues within the relationship. By lying about their indiscretions, the cheating partner avoids taking responsibility for their emotions and the underlying problems.

Solution: Encouraging couples counseling can provide a safe environment to address these issues and foster understanding and empathy.

5. Denial and Rationalization

Human minds are adept at rationalizing behavior, and a cheating partner may have convinced themselves that their actions were justifiable due to their partner’s perceived shortcomings. In such cases, lies become a tool to maintain the illusion that their choices were warranted.

Solution: Encourage open communication to challenge rationalizations and address underlying issues, fostering mutual understanding and accountability.

6. Fear of Abandonment

A cheating partner may harbor an irrational fear of abandonment, believing that the truth would push their partner away forever. The lies become a desperate attempt to cling to the relationship, even if built on shaky foundations.

Solution: Reassure your partner of your commitment to working through issues together, creating a safe space for honesty and understanding.

7. Lack of Empathy

Empathy plays a crucial role in human relationships, allowing us to understand the emotional impact of our actions on others. Unfortunately, some cheating partners may lack empathy, making it easier for them to lie without remorse.

Solution: Encourage empathy through open communication and perspective sharing, emphasizing the importance of considering each other’s feelings to rebuild trust.

8. Double benefit

In a relationship, some individuals lie to experience the benefits of both stability and excitement. The thrill of deception empowers them, leading to a double life with a wife/husband at home and a girlfriend/boyfriend outside the home.

Solution: Address root motivations and consequences of lying to establish trust.

Remember that no relationship can thrive that is based on lies and specifically, constant lies. Honesty and communication are the foundation of any healthy relationship.

Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some amazing tips for couples to nurture their relationship as parents

A baby brings boundless joy to new parents, for within their tiny form lies the miracle of life. While the demands of parenthood may challenge their time and energy, the flame of love between mom and dad can still persist.

Balancing the demands of parenthood and maintaining a strong connection with your partner requires effort and understanding. In this article, India’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo offers some tips and tricks for nurturing your relationship as a new parent.

What are those ways to nurture your relationship as a parent?

Here, Shivani Sadhoo shares some of the methods, that could make your transition to parenthood a smooth ride.

Why Communicate with Compassion?

Effective communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. As new parents, take time to listen to each other’s concerns, fears, and joys. Be mindful of your partner’s emotional needs and offer support and encouragement.

Choose your words carefully, speaking kindly and respectfully, even when fatigue and stress take hold. Remember, open and honest communication will help you navigate the challenges together and deepen your bond. When your baby cries, you’re compassionate. Extend that to your partner. Relationships change after a baby, but growth happens when you change together.

Do it together as a team

Parenthood is a team sport, and collaboration between partners is vital. Share the responsibilities of childcare and household chores, support each other’s needs, and find a balance that works for both of you. Recognize and appreciate each other’s contributions, acknowledging the value of teamwork in creating a harmonious environment for your family.

Nurture intimacy

After having a baby, physical and emotional intimacy can be neglected. Yet, it’s vital to prioritize a romantic connection. Make time for intimate moments like cuddling, date nights, or heartfelt conversations. Small gestures and expressions of love foster a strong bond.

Take care of yourself

Remember to take care of yourself amidst the demands of parenthood. It’s essential to nurture your own well-being, as it directly impacts your relationship with your partner. Prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, or pursuing hobbies that bring you joy. By taking care of yourself, you’ll have more energy and positivity to invest in your partnership.

Express appreciation

Show gratitude for each other’s efforts and support. Recognize and acknowledge the hard work and dedication that goes into being a parent. Small gestures of appreciation can go a long way in fostering a positive and nurturing environment.

The Power of Giving Space

Granting each other space as new parents fosters personal growth and maintains individuality. It involves recognizing the importance of alone time, pursuing hobbies, and nurturing friendships outside of parenthood, strengthening the partnership.

Conflict management

Managing conflicts effectively is crucial in any relationship, and this becomes even more challenging when you have a newborn due to the added stress and exhaustion. Use “I” statements to express how you feel, such as “I feel overwhelmed when…” or “I need support with…”. This can help avoid blaming and encourage understanding.

Seek Support

New parents often feel overwhelmed. Seek support from family, friends, or professionals. Connect with experienced parents, join groups, or consider couples counseling. Asking for help lightens the load and strengthens relationships.

Embrace Imperfections

Parenthood is a journey of constant learning and growth. Embrace the imperfections and understand that mistakes are inevitable. Be patient and forgiving with yourself and your partner. Celebrate the small victories, and remember that every day presents an opportunity to strengthen your bond and create beautiful memories together.

As you embark on the incredible journey of parenthood, remember that nurturing your relationship is just as important as caring for your little one. Enjoy this remarkable chapter of your lives, cherishing the moments of joy, and growing stronger as a couple with each passing day. And if you need any help, we are there to guide you. 

Top Marriage Counselor Shivani Sadhoo Explains

Effective communication is the foundation of healthy relationships, be it romantic, familial, or professional. The way we express ourselves and listen to others greatly impacts the dynamics and overall satisfaction within these relationships.

Unfortunately, certain communication styles can act as poison, gradually eroding trust, understanding, and harmony. In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some toxic communication styles and provides guidance on how to avoid them, fostering healthier and more fulfilling connections.

Passive Aggression

Passive-aggressive communication is characterized by indirect expressions of hostility, disguised as passivity or sarcasm. This style often involves subtle jabs, backhanded compliments, or withholding information to create tension and manipulate others.

It can leave the recipient feeling confused, hurt, and frustrated, ultimately leading to deteriorating relationships. Instead, strive for open and honest dialogue, addressing concerns directly without resorting to hidden agendas or covert hostility.

Defensiveness

Defensive communication is a self-protective response that arises from feeling attacked or criticized. It involves denying responsibility, making excuses, or deflecting blame onto others. When both parties engage in defensiveness, it creates a cycle of negativity, hindering effective problem-solving and resolution. To break this pattern, practice active listening and empathy, focusing on understanding the other person’s perspective without immediately jumping to self-defence.

Stonewalling

Stonewalling occurs when an individual withdraws from a conversation or relationship, shutting down emotionally and refusing to engage. It can manifest as silent treatment, avoidance, or dismissing the other person’s concerns.

Stonewalling prevents open communication and leaves the other person feeling unheard and invalidated. Instead, strive for open dialogue, even if it feels uncomfortable, and make a conscious effort to actively participate in resolving conflicts.

Blaming and Criticizing

Blaming and criticizing communication styles involve focusing on faults and mistakes rather than seeking constructive solutions. This approach creates a hostile and judgmental environment, where individuals feel attacked and defensive.

Instead of blaming and criticizing, practice constructive feedback by expressing your concerns using “I” statements, focusing on specific behaviours, and offering suggestions for improvement. This allows for a more collaborative and growth-oriented approach.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is an insidious form of manipulation that aims to make the other person doubt their own perceptions, memories, and sanity. This toxic communication style involves distorting the truth, denying events, or trivializing the other person’s feelings and experiences. Gaslighting erodes trust, undermines self-esteem, and can lead to psychological harm. It is crucial to recognize gaslighting behaviours and establish boundaries to protect your emotional well-being and maintain healthy relationships.

Marriage counsellor Shivani says effective communication is the lifeblood of any successful relationship, and toxic communication styles can poison even the strongest bonds. By being aware of these destructive patterns and actively working to avoid them, we can foster healthier connections built on trust, empathy, and understanding. Remember to practice open dialogue, active listening, and respect for each other’s feelings and perspectives. By doing so, we can cultivate relationships that thrive and bring joy and fulfillment to our lives.

Key Relationship Tips Shared by Leading Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Insecurity has the ability to deeply impact a person’s emotional well-being and relationships, leading to feelings of anxiety, doubt, and fear. If your partner struggles with insecurity, it is important to provide a nurturing and supportive environment that fosters their sense of safety and love. In this blog, Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares effective strategies to help make an insecure partner feel secure, valued, and cherished within the relationship.

Cultivate Open and Honest Communication

Establishing open lines of communication is crucial for creating a safe space where your partner can express their insecurities without fear of judgment or dismissal. Encourage them to share their thoughts, concerns, and fears openly, and actively listen with empathy and understanding. Validate their emotions and reassure them that their feelings are valid and important to you.

Show Unconditional Love and Acceptance

Unconditional love is a powerful force that can help alleviate insecurity. Demonstrate your love and acceptance for your partner by embracing all their flaws, quirks, and vulnerabilities. Celebrate their strengths and remind them that they are loved for who they are, unconditionally. Small gestures of affection, such as hugs, kisses, and reassuring words, can go a long way in conveying your love and support.

Build Trust through Consistency and Reliability

Insecurity mostly stems from a lack of trust. To help your partner feel safe, it is important to build trust through consistent actions and reliability. Be true to your word, follow through on promises, and be dependable in both big and small matters. Consistency and reliability demonstrate that you are someone they can rely on, fostering a sense of security within the relationship.

Provide Reassurance and Affirmation

Regularly reassure your partner of your commitment and loyalty. Give genuine compliments and affirmations that highlight their positive qualities and reassure them of your love. Avoid dismissing their insecurities or becoming defensive; instead, address their concerns using compassion and understanding. Let them know that you are there to support them unconditionally.

Create a Safe and Nurturing Environment

Make sure that your relationship is a safe space for your spouse to express themselves freely. Foster an environment of trust, empathy, and emotional safety. Avoid criticism, belittling, or comparison. Encourage their personal growth and support them develop a positive self-image by focusing on their strengths and encouraging their passions and aspirations.

Encourage Personal Development and Self-Care

Insecurity can mostly be mitigated by promoting personal growth and self-care. Encourage your partner to engage in activities they enjoy, pursue their passions, and take care of their physical and emotional well-being. Support their personal goals and offer encouragement during challenging times. When they invest in self-care and personal growth, their self-confidence and sense of security are likely to improve.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

In some cases, deep-rooted insecurities may require the assistance of a professional therapist or counselor. If your partner’s insecurities significantly impact their daily life and well-being, encourage them to seek therapy. Professional guidance can provide them with tools and strategies to address their insecurities effectively and foster personal growth.

Shivani says, supporting an insecure partner needs patience, understanding, and a commitment to creating a safe and loving environment. By cultivating open communication, demonstrating unconditional love and acceptance, building trust, and providing reassurance, you can help your partner feel secure and valued within the relationship. Remember that everyone’s journey and learning path are unique, and it is essential to adapt these strategies to suit your partner’s specific needs. With consistent effort and empathy, you can foster a strong and loving bond, nurturing your partner’s sense of security and creating a fulfilling and harmonious relationship.

In the hustle and bustle of our fast-paced lives, it’s all too easy for the flames of romance to flicker and fade. The demands of work, family, and personal commitments often leave little time and energy for nurturing our relationships. However, building a healthy and vibrant connection with your partner is crucial for both your individual well-being and the longevity of your relationship.

So, if you find yourself in a situation where your partner’s busyness has caused a strain, fear not! In this article, we will explore creative and effective ways to reconnect and rejuvenate your relationship with your busy partner. India’s eminent marriage counselor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is here to guide you.

1. Open Communication:

The foundation of any successful relationship lies in open and honest communication. Set aside dedicated time each day to engage in meaningful conversations with your partner. Create an atmosphere of trust where both of you can openly express your thoughts, concerns, and dreams. Effective communication builds understanding and empathy, fostering a deeper connection between partners.

2. Quality over Quantity:

While it may be challenging to find large blocks of time together, focus on the quality of the time you do have. Plan activities or outings that both partners enjoy and that allow for meaningful connection. It could be as simple as a romantic dinner at home, a walk in the park, or a weekend getaway. By maximizing the quality of your time spent together, you can create cherished memories and rekindle the spark in your relationship.

3. Surprise Gestures: 

Small, thoughtful gestures can go a long way in rekindling the spark in your relationship. Surprise your partner with their favorite meal, leave a heartfelt note in their briefcase or purse, or plan a surprise outing that aligns with their interests. These simple acts demonstrate your love and appreciation, creating moments of delight and reinforcing the emotional bond between you. Use technology for good. Sending text messages to your partner is a wonderful way to maintain a connection, share small moments, and show you care.

4. Support and Understanding: 

Acknowledge and validate the challenges your partner faces due to their busy schedule. Show genuine interest in their work and offer support whenever possible. By demonstrating understanding and empathy, you build a strong foundation of trust and solidarity. Your partner will feel valued and cherished, fostering a sense of belonging within the relationship.

5. Shared Hobbies and Interests: 

Finding common ground and engaging in shared hobbies can infuse new energy into your relationship. Discover activities that you both enjoy and make time for them regularly. Whether it’s cooking, dancing, hiking, or painting, the shared experiences will create lasting memories and deepen your bond.

6. Save the date: 

Intentionally carve out time in both of your calendars for regular date nights. This dedicated time allows you to focus solely on each other, away from the distractions of work and daily responsibilities. Whether it’s a candlelit dinner, a movie night, or a cozy evening, make it a habit to schedule these dates to strengthen the bond and keep the romance alive.

7. Tender Touch: 

Physical intimacy is an integral part of any romantic relationship. Find moments to express affection, even amidst busy schedules. A warm hug, a gentle touch, or a passionate kiss can communicate love and desire. Prioritize intimacy and make it a regular part of your routine, reigniting the passion and desire within your relationship.

So, take the first step today, and embark on a path toward reconnecting and rejuvenating your relationship with your busy partner. Together, you can create a love that withstands the tests of time and nourishes your soul for a lifetime.

Shares Eminent Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Opting for an arranged marriage? Taking the decision to marry someone is never easy. And more so when you are opting for an arranged marriage, things are not quite predictable. When you marry a person, you are in love with, you at least know that person albeit to some extent, and even the family in certain cases.

But if you marry an individual ‘arranged’ by your parents or others, you require to give things a little time and requires to discover your partner while already being in a conjugal relationship. There may be surprises (both good, bad, and ugly) in store for you each day and therefore, having pre-set expectations from your spouse might not be a wise idea.

Here are a few things you should not expect from your partner right from the first day in an arranged marriage as explained by India’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Expecting your partner to give you more importance compared to his or her parents

Your partner has lived with his or her family all throughout the life and expecting them to give you the same priority, love, and attention right from the very first day of marriage is a bit unfair. It will take months to develop the same relationship with your spouse as they have with their family and hence, hoping to be given additional importance than the family is not a right expectation.

Falling in love with in-laws

You will expect your partner to have respect and care for your parents but do must not expect them to fall in love with your family from the moment you get married. Again, you fall in love with people post spending a considerable amount of time with them and when they too reciprocate your love and care. Forming a relationship with in-laws demands efforts from both sides and the complete responsibility does not lie on your partner’s shoulders solely.

Understand you straightaway from day one

When you got to know someone just a few months before your marriage, how can you expect him or her to know fully about your likes, and dislikes and understand your fundamental nature? You can just understand your partner better when you begin living under the same roof and share your moments of happiness and overcome hurdles and struggles together.

So, if you get easily disappointed by your spouse’s behaviour or specific habits, simply remember—Rome wasn’t built in a day. Give the person ample time to understand you better contrary to setting wrong expectations.

The period of courtship

The courtship period is certainly helpful to understand your would-be partner better, particularly, if he or she was chosen by your parents or other family members. But it does not mean you are the person to stay in constant touch with you round the clock.

You ought to understand that he or she may be busy preparing for the marriage or slogging it out at the workplace. Hence, focus on spending quality time with your contrary of messaging or calling them after every few minutes.

Friend circle

Your partner is not mandatorily to be as fond of your friends as you are. It is fine to have different perceptions about each other’s friends. What truly matters most is that you provide your partner with the space to spend time and enjoy with their friends and not judge them regarding their choices.

This write-up is not an effort to criticize arranged marriage concept. We have seen both arranged and love marriages have their unique pros and cons. Eventually, any relationship will only work if both partners are ready to understand each other and be there with them during good and bad times. Besides any good relationship requires love, honesty, compassion, and sacrifices to become successful.

Psychologist Shivani is here to help you with your search

We often judge others based on their looks. But did you know that physical appearance reflects inner happiness? It mirrors our mental state and can be an indicator of our overall well-being. Studies have shown that when we feel good inside, we look radiant and attractive on the outside. This is why it is important to take care of our mental health.

Therapy is a great way to take care of our mental health. It helps us to process our emotions, and to understand and cope with our challenges. A healthy mind leads to a healthy body.

Finding a therapist can be daunting, but it’s worth the effort. India’s eminent marriage counselor and psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo is here to guide us through the process.

1. Know about therapy types:  Different types of therapy address different needs. For example, cognitive-behavioral therapy can help those struggling with anxiety or depression, while family therapy can help those dealing with relationship issues. Find the type of therapy that suits your needs. Consult a counselor or mental health professional for more information about what type of therapy is best for you.

2. Experience counts: A therapist’s experience and expertise can be a huge asset when it comes to helping you navigate through a difficult period in your life. An experienced therapist can help you identify potential issues, give you strategies for coping, adjust your treatment plan as needed, and provide support and guidance during the process. Additionally, an experienced therapist can offer invaluable guidance and support throughout your journey, empowering you to make the best decisions for yourself.

3. Consider logistics and location: Consistency is the key to therapy. It is important to find a therapist geographically close to you so that you can attend regular sessions. You may like to check if the therapist is available for phone or video sessions if needed. This will save you time and money, and help you stick to your therapy plan.

4. Ask for recommendations: A good therapist is someone you can trust, who understands your needs, and who can provide you with the most appropriate treatment for your particular situation. Asking for recommendations from people you trust like your friend or a family member is an excellent way to find a therapist who will be an ideal fit. You can also consider looking for reviews online and asking for references from your healthcare provider to ensure that you select a competent and qualified therapist.

5. Therapeutic alliance with the therapist: Therapeutic alliance is the connection between the therapist and the patient. It is important to find someone you feel comfortable with and connected to. This connection is essential for engaging in productive conversations and understanding each other’s perspectives, allowing for effective treatment and outcomes. Building a strong therapeutic alliance takes time and effort. It is important to be patient, to listen, and be open to the therapist’s feedback and advice. This will lead to a trusting and safe relationship that can facilitate healing and growth.

Now that you have a fair idea of what points to consider while choosing the right therapist, you can begin your search.

Relationship Expert Shivani Shares How and When to Compromise In Your Relationship and When Not To

Compromise–This 10-letter word may have different meanings depending upon the context, but in a relationship, it means peacefully resolving a conflict by meeting each other halfway. One must remember that compromise does not mean giving in; rather, it means understanding each other’s point of view and finding a solution both parties can agree on. It must be a win-win and not a win-lose situation.

Compromise is a very important part of a healthy relationship, but it can be hard to do. Let’s learn why it is so difficult to compromise in a relationship from Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Ego matters: When two people have strong egos, they become entrenched in their own beliefs and points of view. This makes it hard to come to mutual understandings and compromises, as both parties are unwilling to budge on their stance.

Communication barrier: When couples do not communicate effectively, it can be difficult to reach a compromise. Miscommunication can lead to misinterpretations, frustration, and resentment, making it hard for couples to find common ground.

Fear of change: People tend to fear the unknown, and when faced with the possibility of change, it can be difficult to come to a compromise. This is especially true when the change involves something that is very important to the individual, such as values, beliefs, and lifestyle choices.

Loss of control: Fear of losing control and power can make it difficult to compromise. People can be reluctant to give up their own needs and desires to reach a mutual agreement.

Stubbornness: Stubbornness can prevent two people from finding a middle ground, as both parties may be unwilling to give in and make concessions. This can lead to a stalemate and make it difficult to reach an agreement.

While these are some of the reasons why people find it difficult to compromise, it is also essential to understand—

When to Compromise — And When Not to

Good or bad compromise? It is important to recognize when it is necessary to compromise and when it is important to stand your ground. Compromise should be used to create a win-win situation, where both partners (or family members, whoever is involved) get something out of the agreement. But it is important to know your limits and not compromise on anything that would undermine your values or sense of self-respect.

Don’t compromise your individuality in a relationship. It is essential to know when to let go and when to stick to your guns. Compromise should not be seen as a sign of weakness. You need not sacrifice your values or uniqueness just to please your partner.

Respect your family bond. Compromising doesn’t mean you should ignore your family or disrespect them just because your partner doesn’t like them.

Compromise can be healthy when it strengthens the relationship, but unhealthy when it leads to feeling taken advantage of.

How can you compromise?

Listen and be heard: Compromise is a two-way street. It is important to listen to your partner’s point of view, consider their feelings, and then take turns expressing your own needs and wants.

Empathy: Practising empathy means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and trying to understand their point of view.

Respect each other’s opinion and values.

Be flexible when making decisions.

Agree to disagree: If two people disagree on something, they can still find a way to move forward without either of them giving up.

Conclusion

Compromise is a way of maintaining harmony and avoiding conflict. It is always about striking the right balance between two opposing views.

Right now, several couples or individuals are still working from home for the immediate future. Lots of people are very much always home these days, or a few even working part-time on creative work and taking care of the household. This might be a huge challenge for some marriages if couples are not already so consistent with practicing self-care in their marriage. Even though a steady income, and living in a house with plenty of space, definitely contributes to anyone’s comfort

But your marriage is something that should always be a priority, no matter the extenuating circumstances. One method to prioritize your marriage is to practice self-care, together. Even if you and your significant other just have time to work on self-care once every week, that is still the time that you are solely devoting to each other and to your marriage.

This blog by Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about self-care in marriage and the ways to relax as a couple.

Couples Therapist Shivani says these self-care ideas are solely intended to do as a couple. Bear in mind that for these self-care ideas to benefit both of you, both the partners have to be willing and interested. Consent always matters in a relationship, even for non-sexual activities. It is not exactly a self-care activity if you have to be forced into doing it.

Unplug your Gadgets and Devices

You and your loved one need some screen-free time together. There are many who cancel their anniversary trip, so it can be celebrated at home instead. While couples watching a movie is fine, however, it is insisted that both of you put away or switch off your phones and laptops while watching movies together. With repeated notifications and more, it is so easy to focus more on your phone than on your partner. Dedicate time to each of you without thinking of your devices.

Go on a Walk

After a long time you two have managed to have some time. If the weather is pleasant, plan to take a walk. Hold each other’s hands. Talk about life. The fresh air and exteriors will certainly do a world of good for both of you.

Spend Some Quality Time Apart

Are you confused? It’s okay, just like quality time together must be intentional–TV series and Chill doesn’t count, quality time apart must also be intentional. When you and your loved one spend time on self-improvement, or you focus on quality time with friends or family, you are spending quality time apart. It is good to have your own hobbies. It is healthy to have your own friends. Your partner should not be your sole source of companionship.

Post quality time apart, you and your spouse will better appreciate and enjoy quality time together.

Set Goals Together

Several couples have some big dreams. Dreams of extensive travel, a big house with a luxury car dreams of kids and their schooling.

It is fun to dream big, particularly, about the distant future. But there is also time to set realistic goals for the immediate future. Big goals usually take time, and they normally take money too. In addition to setting long-term goals, you and your partner should also break them down into medium-term goals.

Marriage goals are not all financial, though. You can also set goals to concentrate on self-improvement or goals to build intimacy.

Some of the ways are:

·       Workout together for a specific amount of time each week

·       Join a hobby club together

·       Attend an event together

·       Schedule a weekly or fortnight date

Learn Each One’s Love Language

Every individual generally has a primary love language. This is how you express love to others. When another person uses your love language you feel loved even more. Learning and acknowledging your own love language, and learning your spouse’s love language, can assist the two of you to communicate better and express love with greater intention.

Give Each Other Massages

First you need to decide together if these massages are simply for relaxation and/or pain relief, or if they are a prelude to getting intimate. You do not wish to be disappointed by a simple misunderstanding post your messages.

If you do not know how to give a good massage, there are some good resources online.

Maybe you need to set the environment right, get out some body lotion or massage oil, play soothing music and give each other massages.

If you do not have time for the complete romance, you can also give each other foot massages or neck rubs while watching a TV show.

Cuddle and Talk

Several couples are affectionate all day long, but there is nothing quite like dedicating a few moments to cuddling and talking. This is a great mode to start or to end your day. Simply you and your spouse, no other distractions. If you are not certain what to talk about, ask a few tried-and-true questions. How are you feeling? What are you thinking? What can you do today to make your partner’s life better?

Just be Silly

No doubt a married life means several responsibilities. However, marriage is not the end of fun. Be playful with your spouse. Run through the sprinklers or dance in the kitchen. Play video games or board games. Share some jokes. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

Show Affection

At times self-care in marriage is actually, just about the little things. Show affection to your spouse throughout the day. Send a cute message. Give a quick neck massage. Kiss right prior to going to bed.

Go to the Bed Together

One of the partners is an early bird, while the other one a night owl. But it is always good to align your sleep schedules more closely. Most nights, you need to try to be in bed before your partner falls asleep so at least you can talk a bit first.

Sometimes you could be both tired at the same time and fall asleep cuddling. This is an absolutely wonderful feeling, but it’s not normally practical with your different sleep schedules. Still, it is nice to try to be in bed together at the end of the day, before either of you falls asleep.

Discuss Things Related to Physical Intimacy in your Life

Getting physically intimate can absolutely be an amazing kind of self-care. But you and your partner need to discuss it periodically. The lists can help you and your partner start the conversation. It includes meaningful videos or articles on topics related to physical intimacy. It will help both of you to set or rectify certain issues if they bother you as far as getting physically intimate with your partner.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.