Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Self-care is often viewed as a luxury, but it is, in fact, a necessity for maintaining both personal well-being and healthy relationships. In today’s fast-paced world, taking time to care for oneself is essential to manage stress, enhance emotional health, and maintain physical fitness.

Moreover, self-care significantly impacts how we interact with our partners and can be a cornerstone for a thriving relationship, says one of India’s leading marital and family therapists Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

What is Self-Care?

Self-care involves any activity that we deliberately engage in to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Simple activities like exercising, reading a book, meditating, or even taking a break from social media can be forms of self-care.

By prioritizing these activities, we replenish our energy and reset our minds, which is crucial for managing day-to-day stressors effectively.

What is the Impact of Neglecting Self-Care?

When we neglect self-care, it often leads to burnout, irritability, and emotional exhaustion. These states can adversely affect our relationships, leading to misunderstandings, conflicts, and a lack of intimacy.

For instance, when an individual is constantly stressed and exhausted, they may become short-tempered and less patient, making it difficult to communicate effectively with their partner.

Conversely, when we are well-rested and emotionally balanced, we are more likely to approach our relationships with patience, understanding, and empathy.

What about the Self-Care and Boundary Setting?

Self-care is not only about personal health but also about setting boundaries and learning to say no. This is particularly important in relationships where individuals may feel pressured to constantly meet their partner’s needs, often at the expense of their own well-being.

By practicing self-care, individuals learn to balance their own needs with those of their partner, leading to a healthier and more reciprocal relationship dynamic.

What are the Possible Benefits of Self-Care for Relationships?

For relationships, self-care has a dual benefit. Firstly, it ensures that each partner is functioning at their best, contributing positively to the relationship.

Secondly, it sets a precedent for mutual respect and understanding. When one partner sees the other taking time for self-care, it can inspire them to do the same, fostering an environment where both individuals feel valued and supported.

What are the Outcomes of Shared Self-Care Activities?

Engaging in self-care together as a couple can also strengthen the bond. Activities like taking a walk together, cooking a healthy meal, or practicing mindfulness can be ways for couples to connect and support each other’s well-being.

This shared commitment to self-care can enhance intimacy and create a deeper sense of partnership.

Self-care is vital for both individual health and the health of relationships. It allows individuals to maintain their mental, emotional, and physical well-being, which in turn makes them better partners.

By prioritizing self-care, we can manage stress more effectively, communicate more clearly, and nurture our relationships more lovingly. Therefore, integrating self-care into our daily routine is not just a personal investment, but a commitment to fostering healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

In our rapidly evolving era, where love can feel fleeting and relationships are often tested by societal shifts and technological influences, trust remains the cornerstone of every bond. Despite the pain of betrayal, some couples endeavour to mend their fractured trust and move forward together.

Rebuilding trust after infidelity or other breaches requires commitment from both partners, as distrust can erode the foundation of intimacy and connection.

What are the ways for couples to rebuild trust in a relationship?

Top couples therapist and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few tips and tricks to rebuild that lost trust in a relationship.

Find out the Real Reason

Perhaps the primary step towards addressing a breach of trust in a relationship is introspection to understand the underlying motivations. It’s imperative to honestly assess why the breach occurred, whether it was due to unmet needs, a desire to end the relationship, or simply a mistake.

Avoiding manipulation, gaslighting, or blaming one’s partner is crucial; instead, taking ownership of one’s actions and explaining intentions sincerely is vital before attempting to rebuild trust.

A Sincere Apology

A sincere apology lays the foundation for rebuilding trust. It involves acknowledging betrayal with honesty and remorse, promising to end the affair and prevent its recurrence. Daily reassurances and expressions of love reassure the wounded partner.

Empathizing with their pain demonstrates understanding. Transparency and authenticity underscore the commitment to repair. A genuine apology signifies a willingness to go the extra mile to mend what was broken, offering hope for a stronger bond.

Honest Communication

Open communication is essential for rebuilding trust in a relationship. It cultivates honesty, transparency, and understanding between partners. By openly discussing feelings, past mistakes, and expectations, couples can learn from the past and set new boundaries.

Sharing thoughts, fears, and goals helps to rebuild connection and intimacy. Honesty and transparency are crucial; hiding, lying, or withholding information only undermines trust further. Regular, positive communication promotes mutual respect and appreciation, paving the way for healing and rebuilding a stronger bond.

Forget and Forgive

Indeed it is not easy to forget and forgive your partner’s mistake, yet when you let go of grudges, you free yourself from emotional toxicity and pave the way for healing. Focus on self-renewal rather than resurrecting the past.

Recognize that every relationship, even after betrayal, offers new lessons and opportunities for growth. If trust has been breached, practising forgiveness is pivotal, acknowledging that it’s a challenging but empowering choice.

Grant your partner the benefit of the doubt, assuming their commitment to mend what was broken. Forgiveness becomes a gift to yourself, fostering the possibility of rebuilding trust in the present moment.

Patience

Patience and understanding are key to rebuilding trust in a relationship. Both partners must acknowledge that restoring trust takes time, with setbacks along the way. It’s crucial to respect each other’s pace in processing the betrayal, avoiding pressure for immediate discussions.

The unfaithful partner’s efforts to impress and make amends must be consistent but not rushed, as genuine change requires time. Seeking guidance from a counselor can provide unbiased support during this process.

Ultimately, both partners must stay positive and believe in long-term change, fostering a sense of mutual commitment and reassurance in the journey towards rebuilding trust.

Revival of Lost Spark

Restoring intimacy in a relationship post-breach of trust is a chance for a fresh start. By understanding each other’s needs and actively fulfilling them, we rebuild the foundation of love, safety, and support. We honor their pace and comfort, allowing them to initiate intimacy.

Starting with a gentle touch, you gradually progress to sensual and physical intimacy. Attentive to their cues, you focus on mutual pleasure, nurturing trust through genuine connection.

Life is a journey of growth and resilience. Rebuilding trust in a relationship demands introspection, sincere apologies, honest communication, forgiveness, patience, and a revival of lost intimacy. Through mutual commitment and understanding, couples can emerge stronger, cultivating a deeper connection built on honesty, empathy, and love.

Love is a wonderful feeling. When we love someone deeply, we open ourselves up to vulnerability, trusting them with our hearts and our deepest emotions. However, with this vulnerability comes the risk of betrayal, and one of the most painful forms of betrayal is emotional cheating. So, what is Emotional Cheating and how can we mend this broken trust? Delhi’s leading marriage and family therapist, Shivani Misri Sadhoo answers your question in this article.

What is Emotional Cheating?

Definition–Emotional cheating refers to forming intimate emotional bonds outside a primary relationship, breaking trust and boundaries. It doesn’t involve physical intimacy. Instead, it occurs when we develop strong feelings for someone outside of our committed relationship. Signs include secrecy, confiding in another, flirtation, and neglecting the partner’s needs.   

Emotional Cheating is not the same as Platonic friendship. In a platonic relationship, the emotional connection is significant, but it lacks the romantic or sexual attraction that typically defines a romantic relationship.

How does it happen? Innocent friendships can escalate into emotional affairs, often involving co-workers, exes, online friends, or seeking solace during relationship issues.

What is the impact of emotional cheating on the primary relationship?

Impact on primary relationship: It damages trust, weakens emotional closeness, suggests less commitment, and may lead to physical cheating, similar to infidelity.

What are the Signs of Emotional Cheating?

• You confide in someone else about your relationship issues instead of discussing them with your partner, breaching trust and intimacy.
• You feel excited while interacting with this person. This indicates a potential emotional connection beyond friendship.
• You deliberately conceal or minimize the depth of your bond with this individual from your partner, betraying transparency and honesty.
• There’s flirtatious behaviour with an underlying romantic or physical attraction, crossing the boundaries of platonic friendship.
• This person fulfils your emotional needs in ways your partner doesn’t, leading to dissatisfaction and comparison, wishing your partner were more like them.

What are the ways to mend this broken trust in relationships and marriages?

Mending broken trust after emotional cheating requires a concerted effort from both partners. It’s not easy, and it takes time, patience, and a willingness to confront difficult emotions head-on. Here are a few ways by which this is possible:

Accept your mistake – One of the crucial steps in rebuilding trust after emotional cheating is admitting and owning up to your actions. Accepting responsibility without excuses or blame shows genuine remorse. Validating your partner’s feelings and creating a safe space for them to express emotions freely nurtures healing and rebuilding trust.

Completely disconnect – When your partner decides to end the relationship due to emotional cheating, it signals seriousness. They must cut off all contact with the third party, allowing verification. This means blocking, avoiding encounters, and setting clear work boundaries if the affair was with a colleague.

Honest communication – Communication is the cornerstone of relationships. Honest, open dialogue is crucial for addressing emotional cheating. It creates a safe space for expressing feelings, rebuilding trust, and sharing perspectives. Through dialogue, partners understand each other better and can work towards healing the relationship.

Try to regain trust – Share your hopes, dreams, and emotions openly with your partner. Plan special dates to reconnect without distractions. Listen actively and empathize with each other. Rebuild trust after emotional cheating through open communication and intentional gestures of love.

Forgive and forget – It may be difficult to forgive and forget, yet it’s vital in overcoming emotional infidelity. It’s not just about pardoning your partner; it’s about releasing self-blame. Forgiveness liberates, empowering you to move forward and enabling relationship recovery.

Now that you understand emotional cheating and how to mend broken trust, remember: that honesty, communication, and forgiveness are key to rebuilding a stronger, more resilient relationship.

Watch Video On Emotional Cheating, Loyalty & What No One Talks About

Have you ever found yourself on a first date, heart racing, palms sweating, desperately wishing for an escape route in case it all goes south? It’s a rite of passage in the world of dating, where both parties are often teetering on the edge of excitement and anxiety, wondering if this encounter will lead to something magical or just another story to laugh about later. First dates can be tricky. What works for you may not work for the other person.

What do women really want or expect on their first dates?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, the leading relationship counsellor and couples therapist in Delhi, is here to guide you with those little things that single women want on a first date.

Punctuality – Punctuality on a first date speaks volumes about your character and consideration. Arriving on time demonstrates respect for her schedule and shows maturity and responsibility. It conveys your value for the date and sets a positive tone. Conversely, being late can start things off poorly. Communicating any delays or emergencies promptly showcases courtesy and thoughtfulness, reinforcing your respect for her time.

Honest Conversation – On a first date, single women seek authentic conversations because they want to truly understand their date. They crave depth beyond rehearsed lines, desiring genuine connections that reveal the person’s essence. Meaningful discussions, where both parties share openly and listen attentively, allow them to assess compatibility and determine if they want to pursue the relationship further. It’s about understanding each other on a deeper level.

Being Polite – How would you feel if someone you’re meeting for the first time forgets basic manners? Probably not great, right? Well, women appreciate politeness because it shows respect and consideration. Small gestures like holding doors open or chewing with your mouth closed make a big difference. Plus, avoiding gross or inappropriate topics shows you’re mindful of her comfort and boundaries.

Avoid Staring at Your Phone Always – One of the banes of dating in a digital era is the constant urge to check social media notifications, no matter where you are! But, if you’re constantly glued to your gadgets on the first date, it sends a signal that you’re not fully present and excited about meeting someone new. The thrill of a first date lies in the anticipation and getting to know each other.

If your attention is elsewhere, it’s like saying, “You’re not that important.” Nobody wants to feel ignored or disrespected, especially on a first date where the goal is to connect. Unless it’s an emergency, keeping your face buried in your phone sends the wrong message—it’s a surefire way to kill the vibe and potentially ruin what could’ve been a great conversation.

No Fake Compliments – It goes without saying that on a first date, women seek genuine compliments that come from the heart. They don’t want to feel like someone’s just throwing out empty words to impress them. When they sense insincerity, it makes them feel like their autonomy and boundaries are being compromised, especially if they feel their safety is at risk.

Instead of just sweet-talking, showing sincere interest and affection by complimenting traits that truly matter to you, like her smile, hair, or outfit, can go a long way. If you’re going to call her beautiful, make sure you truly mean it—it’s the sincerity that counts.

Simple and Smart – Women appreciate simplicity and intelligence on first dates. Genuine conversation, thoughtfulness, and sincerity are valued over extravagant displays. Overconfidence and insincerity are major turn-offs, creating discomfort.

Authenticity is key; any hint of pretence disrupts the atmosphere. It’s about feeling relaxed and comfortable, not impressed by theatrics. Simple gestures make for memorable and positive experiences, setting the stage for genuine connections.

While it is true that first dates can be nerve-wracking, focusing on punctuality, genuine conversation, politeness, presence, sincerity in compliments, and simplicity sets the stage for a meaningful connection, fostering mutual respect and understanding.

The internet has indeed revolutionized the world. Gone are the days when information was scarce and communication was slow. Today, with just a few clicks or taps, we can delve into a vast repository of knowledge on virtually any topic and connect with individuals worldwide in an instant. Social media, in particular, has streamlined the process of finding romantic partners, transcending geographical boundaries and time zones.

Yet, amid its convenience, social media has also become a breeding ground for relationship issues. The same platforms that bring couples closer together can also harbour hidden red flags that may signal trouble ahead.

To understand these social media red flags, let’s explore the perspective of top relationship expert and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo on the social media behaviours that should not be ignored in relationships.

What are the social media red flags in relationships?

Pretending to be single

When a partner behaves as if they’re single on social media—keeping relationship status hidden, avoiding posting photos together, or asking not to be tagged—it raises red flags. While some value privacy, constant avoidance of mentioning the relationship may indicate keeping options open or a lack of commitment. Genuine partners don’t hide relationships; secrecy may suggest dishonesty, embarrassment, or external pressure. Openness and acknowledgement are essential for healthy relationships.

Is your partner spending too much time on social media?

Spending excessive time on social media during dates can detract from romance, signalling that your partner’s focus isn’t on you. It may indicate addiction, where the virtual world overshadows real connections. Social media’s curated facade fosters dissatisfaction and can be an escape from unhappiness. Ignoring moments like sunsets hints at prioritizing screens over shared experiences. Recognizing these signs is crucial; excessive social media use can signal deeper issues affecting relationships and personal well-being.

Posting flirtatious remarks on others’ social media posts

Flirting with others on social media, especially through public comments, signals a lack of commitment and respect in a relationship. This behaviour undermines trust and emotional security, akin to infidelity. Engaging in such actions can lead to feelings of betrayal and hurt. Consistently leaving flirty comments on others’ posts raises doubts about one’s intentions and loyalty. It’s crucial to reflect on whether this behaviour aligns with your expectations for a healthy, monogamous relationship.

Not accepting social media requests

Many a time, refusing to accept a connection request on social media signals reluctance to integrate into each other’s lives. It suggests a lack of transparency and openness. Denying the request may indicate a desire to keep aspects of one’s life hidden, potentially signalling dishonesty or unfaithfulness. By rejecting the connection, the partner may be implying a disregard for the relationship’s importance or the other person’s feelings. Overall, refusal to connect on social media can raise concerns about trust and commitment.

Reluctant in posting your relationship online

Some people choose privacy, but when a partner avoids posting about the relationship on social media while being active otherwise, it raises concerns. The absence of acknowledgement could signal a lack of commitment or reluctance to publicly affirm the relationship. This omission may lead to feelings of exclusion and impact self-esteem negatively. Comparing one’s relationship to others’ flashy posts only emphasizes the authenticity of real-life connections.

Inconsistent behaviour or mismatch between online and offline conduct

When someone’s online persona is drastically different from their offline behaviour, it can raise concerns about authenticity and honesty in a relationship. While it’s common for people to curate their online presence to some extent, a significant inconsistency like this can be a red flag. For instance, imagine if your partner constantly shares posts about loyalty and trust online, but in reality, they frequently lie to you about their whereabouts or interactions with others. This mismatch between their digital facade and real-life actions could erode trust and breed resentment in the relationship over time.

Decodes Relationship Expert Shivani Sadhoo

If you thought that simply finding the perfect partner guarantees a happily ever after, think again. Love alone doesn’t shield us from moments of unhappiness or regret in marriage. As time passes, these moments can linger, potentially leading to the painful decision of separation or divorce. But what if I told you there’s a crucial factor that could significantly reduce the risk of divorce? According to relationship gurus and psychologists, timing matters just as much as compatibility—if you’re eyeing a divorce-free future, marry at the right age. Yes! Age matters!

Let’s find out more about this from India’s leading marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo. Getting married too young can lead to divorce. But waiting too long, which isn’t as long as you might think, can also cause problems.

Why you shouldn’t marry in your teens or early 20s?

Scientifically speaking, the human brain isn’t fully developed until the mid-20s. So, you’re still figuring out a lot about yourself and what matters to you. The risks associated with early marriage are:

• Young people lack the experience and maturity to understand themselves and their goals in life. So, they rush into a relationship only to end up marrying the wrong person. This leads to a painful divorce.
• Early marriage often means starting a family sooner, which can pose financial challenges as young couples may not have stable careers or sufficient income to support themselves and any potential children.
• Marrying early can interrupt educational pursuits, limiting career opportunities and economic stability in the long run.
• Young couples may have unrealistic expectations about marriage and their partner, which can lead to disappointment and conflict when reality does not meet their expectations.

Why you shouldn’t wait too long to get married?

Studies reveal that marrying after 32 increases your risk of divorce approximately by 5% every year. The reasons could be:

• Baggage from Past Relationships: You might still have emotional stuff from previous relationships.
• Complex Family Situations: You might have kids from previous relationships, making things more complicated.
• Money Matters: Managing finances can be more challenging with established careers and responsibilities.
• Career Stress: Jobs can demand a lot of time and energy, which might strain your relationship.
• Midlife Crises: In your late 30s or 40s, you might start questioning your life choices, which can affect your marriage.
• Changing Priorities: As you get older, what you want from life might change, causing conflicts with your partner.
• Kids Leaving Home: When your kids grow up and move out, you might realize issues in your marriage that were hidden before.
• Trouble Communicating: Over time, it might become harder to talk openly with your partner, leading to misunderstandings.
• Cheating: Though it can happen at any age, affairs might be more common in your 40s, hurting your marriage.

What’s the right age to marry?

Studies reveal that getting married between the ages of 28 and 32 is linked with a lower chance of splitting up within the next five years. This age range seems to be just right for a few reasons.

• Maturity: People in this group tend to be more grown-up and less carried away by emotions. They’ve been through enough life experiences to handle tough situations better.
• Not so rigid: At the same time, they’re not too stuck in their own habits to compromise.
• Financial Stability: They often have enough money and stability to handle marriage without extra complications like ex-partners or kids from previous relationships.

So, all in all, this age range brings a good balance of maturity, flexibility, and financial security to make marriage more likely to last.

We must remember that there is no one-size-fits-all formula for marriage. While statistics suggest an optimal age range for tying the knot, individual circumstances, readiness, and compatibility remain crucial in ensuring a lasting and fulfilling

Navigating the complexities of romantic relationships can be challenging, especially when parental dynamics come into play. While our relationships with our parents are often deeply ingrained and significant, they can sometimes inadvertently impact our romantic endeavours.

However, with awareness and intentional strategies, it’s possible to maintain healthy boundaries and prevent parental relationships from negatively affecting your romantic life, says leading family and couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

What are the strategies to prevent your parental relationships that may hurt your romantic life?

According to Shivani Sadhoo, you need to follow the given process that may yield you good results. These are:

Awareness is Key

The first step in preventing parental relationships from harming your romantic life is to acknowledge the influence they may have. Reflect on how your upbringing and interactions with your parents shape your views on love, communication, and intimacy.

Recognizing patterns or behaviors learned from parental relationships can empower you to address them effectively.

Open Communication

Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. Be open and honest with your partner about your family dynamics, including your relationship with your parents. Discuss any concerns or boundaries you feel are important to maintain within your romantic relationship.

Establish Boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships with both your parents and your partner. Communicate your boundaries respectfully but firmly, ensuring that both parties understand and respect each other’s needs. Boundaries may include time spent with parents, involvement in decision-making, and privacy within your romantic relationship.

Prioritize Your Partner

While it’s natural to value your relationship with your parents, it’s essential to prioritize your romantic partner. Make time for one-on-one experiences and prioritize their needs and feelings. Show your partner that they are valued and respected within the relationship.

Seek Support

If you’re struggling to navigate the complexities of parental relationships and romantic endeavors, don’t hesitate to seek support from a therapist or counselor.

Professional guidance can offer valuable insights and strategies for managing challenging dynamics and fostering healthier relationships.

Set Healthy Expectations

Unmet expectations can often lead to conflict and resentment within relationships. Be mindful of the expectations you hold for both your parents and your partner, and ensure they are realistic and healthy. Recognize that your partner cannot fulfill the role of your parent, nor should they be expected to.

Practice Self-Awareness

Take time to reflect on your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors within your relationships. Are there patterns or triggers that stem from your parental relationships? Cultivating self-awareness can help you identify areas for personal growth and ensure that past dynamics don’t negatively impact your romantic life.

Cultivate Independence

Developing a sense of independence and autonomy is essential for maintaining healthy boundaries within relationships. While it’s natural to seek guidance and support from your parents, strive to make decisions independently and assert your own identity within your romantic relationship.

Focus on Growth

Relationships, both with parents and romantic partners, require ongoing effort and growth. Embrace opportunities for personal and relational development, and be open to learning from past experiences. Approach challenges with a growth mindset, recognizing that setbacks can lead to greater understanding and resilience.

Celebrate Differences

Embrace the uniqueness of both your parental relationships and your romantic partnership. Recognize that each relationship serves a different purpose and brings its own strengths and challenges. Celebrate the diversity of experiences and perspectives that contribute to your overall growth and fulfilment.

Preventing parental relationships from harming your romantic life requires awareness, communication, and intentional effort. By establishing boundaries, prioritizing your partner, seeking support, and fostering personal growth, you can navigate the complexities of family dynamics while nurturing a healthy and fulfilling romantic relationship.

Remember, every relationship is unique, and with patience and commitment, you can create a partnership that thrives despite any challenges along the way.

Marriage isn’t the be-all and end-all for everyone. In a world where individualism is celebrated, many people opt to remain single, prioritizing personal fulfilment over traditional notions of partnership. For some, focusing on career advancement, personal growth, or pursuing passions takes precedence over romantic entanglements. The notion that looks are the primary deciding factor when it comes to choosing a partner is completely outdated. Did you know that there are many smart and attractive women who are still single?

What are the reasons that smart and attractive women are still single?

Wonder why? Let’s find out the reasons from India’s top relationship and couples counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

They love their independence

Smart and attractive women often find themselves single not because they can’t find a partner, but because they value their independence fiercely. They’re not sitting around waiting for Prince Charming to ride in on a white horse because they’re too busy building their own kingdoms.

These women know they can handle anything life throws at them—they don’t need a man to rescue them from a spider or fix a leaky faucet. They’re the CEOs of their own lives, making decisions based on what’s best for them, not what society says they should do. They understand that true happiness stems from within, not from a relationship status.

It is their choice; not a compulsion

Sometimes bold and beautiful women simply want to stay single. It is their choice. There may not be any reason for this. They love their own company. Marriage is a choice for them; not a compulsion or necessity.

They have high expectations from the groom

It is true that smart and attractive women often possess high standards when it comes to relationships. They are acutely aware of their worth and what they can contribute to a partnership. While they acknowledge that perfection is unattainable, they maintain a non-negotiable list of expectations. These women seek a relationship characterized by mutual respect and emotional fulfillment, refusing to settle for anything less. Consequently, their discerning standards may lead them to remain single as they patiently await a connection that aligns with their values and aspirations.

They feel vulnerable

Despite their outward confidence, many smart and attractive women harbor a fear of vulnerability. Past heartbreaks or betrayals intensify this fear, leading to emotional distance in relationships. They struggle to open up, fearing rejection or disappointment despite their intelligence and attractiveness.

They’re too busy

Smart, attractive women often stay single because they prioritize their professional success. They’re fully invested in self-improvement and don’t always make time for dating apps. Their focus is on bettering themselves through career advancement and personal growth. They believe true love will come naturally when the timing is right, choosing not to waste time on distractions they can’t control.

They don’t want to lose their authority

Many smart, strong, and stunning women choose to remain single because they value their independence and autonomy above all else. They’ve always been the ones to take the reins, make decisions, and chart their own course without being swayed by others. The thought of relinquishing control to someone else in marriage feels daunting; they fear losing their authority and sense of self. These women aren’t afraid to be labeled as “control freaks” because they know what they want and won’t settle for anything less than full autonomy over their lives.

Men feel intimidated

Many men feel intimidated by her strong personality and find her unapproachable, so she remains single. She’s amazing, smart, and attractive, which can be intimidating for guys. They think they’re not good enough for her. She doesn’t settle for just any relationship; it has to be worthwhile. She values her time and energy and won’t waste it on something that doesn’t feel right. She knows there’s more to her than just her relationship status. She understands the difference between forcing a bad relationship and giving a good one a chance.

These are just a few reasons why smart, attractive women may choose to remain single. Whether it’s prioritizing independence, career, or personal growth, their decision reflects a deep understanding of self-worth and a refusal to settle.

Why is it that finding love often feels like stumbling through a maze blindfolded? We all have our preferences, our checkboxes, and our ideal visions of a perfect partner. Yet, despite our best efforts, we often find ourselves making mistakes along the way.

What kind of mistakes do we make while looking for love?

Let’s get to know about the same from India’s leading marriage counselor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

Having Great Expectations

Perhaps one of the biggest mistakes people make when searching for love is having oversized expectations. They hope for a fairy-tale romance without any hiccups. But always remember that real relationships require effort. We often pressure ourselves to find love by a certain deadline and rush to advance to the next stage within a specific timeline.

However, each relationship and person is unique, so our expectations going into dating shouldn’t be the same for everyone we meet; everyone is on their own path. Instead of imposing deadlines, we should be open and accepting of ‘what will be, will be’ and enjoy the moment. Putting pressure on ourselves takes away the fun and thrills that dating can offer.

Impatience

There’s no point in rushing into relationships as they often lead to trouble. It’s tempting to dive in headfirst, but ignoring red flags can spell disaster. Patience is key; good things take time. Let things evolve naturally, truly understanding your partner and their values before making big commitments. Chemistry trumps passion for longevity. A strong connection ensures a healthier, longer-lasting relationship. So, take it slow and let love blossom at its own pace.

Focusing on External Appearance

Sometimes, on our quest for true love, we get caught up in the glitz and glamour of external appearances, forgetting to delve deeper into the essence of the person we’ve fallen for. It’s easy to be drawn in by good looks or charm, but true connection lies in understanding and appreciating the inner beauty that defines a person.

By solely focusing on superficial qualities, we risk missing out on the qualities that truly matter – kindness, empathy, intelligence, and shared values. These are the qualities that create a strong and enduring bond, making the pursuit of superficial attributes a big mistake in the search for genuine love.

Lack of Self-awareness

Another mistake people often make while looking for true love is neglecting to understand themselves. Failing to delve into self-discovery and grasp their values, goals, and desires from a relationship can hinder the journey toward finding genuine love. It’s essential to explore one’s own love stories, identify the qualities and traits that resonate with them, and understand their patterns of thought and behavior in relationships.

Without this self-awareness, individuals may struggle to make informed choices when selecting potential partners, resulting in incompatible relationships. Understanding oneself better empowers individuals to navigate the complexities of love and make decisions aligned with their long-term vision for a fulfilling relationship.

Seeking Validation

Are you in search of true love only because you want to feel important or to be noticed? Seeking validation from friends, family, or a partner is a big mistake. It leads to unhealthy dependency and unhappiness. True love should complement your life, not define it entirely. Before searching for love, love and fulfill yourself first.

Seeking external validation can lead to low self-esteem. You might start relying on others’ recognition and approval to feel good about yourself. Over time, you could lose sight of your own value and strength.

Overlooking Red Flags

When you’re in search of true love, ignoring red flags is a significant mistake. These warning signs, such as inconsistent behaviour, lack of communication, or unresolved issues from the past, indicate underlying problems or compatibility mismatches that can lead to future turmoil and heartbreak. By overlooking these signals, you risk wasting time and emotional energy on relationships that may not be right for you.

It’s crucial to pay attention to your intuition and address red flags early on, as they can protect you from entering into unhealthy or unfulfilling connections. Recognizing and addressing these warning signs allows you to make informed decisions, fostering healthier relationships built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding.

There are more aspects to consider when seeking love, but avoiding common mistakes like unrealistic expectations and ignoring red flags can pave the way for genuine, fulfilling connections. Remember, patience, self-awareness, and authenticity are key to finding lasting love.

Are you head over heels for your girl, planning the big engagement, but still wondering if she’s “the one”? Finding the right person to spend your life with can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. Amidst the sea of possibilities, there are certain signs that can help guide you towards someone truly special. While romantic gestures and thoughtful actions certainly play a part, the ultimate litmus test lies in how she makes you feel.

How do you find out if she’s the one you’ve been wanting to tie the knot with?

Top marriage counselor and relationship expert in India Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains how.

Empathy

Finding “the one” involves recognizing someone who empathizes genuinely. She listens and understands your feelings without judgment. Her compassion and support during tough times show her commitment. Marrying her means having a partner who stands by you through thick and thin, making every challenge easier to face together.

She’s your best friend

Choosing a life partner is like embarking on a journey with a trusted companion, and finding that person who seamlessly fits into the role of your best friend can make all the difference. You can share your feelings with her comfortably. You don’t need to pretend. You can be yourself. Whatever happens, she’s always there for you. So, when you find that special someone who makes you feel at home, who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts, and who you can’t imagine facing life without, you’ll know that she’s the one you should marry. 

She always encourages you    

Marrying a woman who constantly encourages and supports you is a blessing beyond measure. Her unwavering belief in your abilities fuels your confidence and drive. Even in your darkest hours, she sees your potential and lifts you up with her boundless faith. With her by your side, you’re inspired to conquer any challenge, knowing she believes you’re capable of magic. She’s not just a partner; she’s your greatest ally and cheerleader.

Shared goals and values

Shared goals and values serve as the compass guiding you to the right partner for marriage. When your beliefs, priorities, and long-term aspirations align with hers, it signals compatibility and ensures a harmonious journey together. While differences add spice, fundamental agreements on family, career, and life goals lay the groundwork for a fulfilling relationship. Finding someone who complements your strengths while sharing your core values is the key to a lasting union.

You trust her

Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. If you can’t trust your partner, who will you talk to about your deepest feelings?  When you’re with someone trustworthy, you feel secure because you know they care about you. Whether it’s staying faithful or keeping their promises, a woman who is honest and dependable is someone you can imagine a future with.

When arguments are productive

When you’re able to have productive discussions, even during disagreements, it demonstrates a level of emotional intelligence and communication skills that are vital for a healthy relationship. It means you’re able to listen actively, express your own thoughts and feelings honestly, and find compromises that satisfy both parties.

Mutual respect is a must

Mutual respect in a relationship is a cornerstone of a healthy partnership. When your girl respects you as an individual, honors your boundaries, and treats you with kindness, it indicates a strong foundation for a lifelong commitment.  In her, you find not just a partner, but a soulmate worthy of a lifelong journey together.

She is independent

She is strong and independent, with a mind of her own. This quality assures you that she won’t simply follow the crowd but will stand by her beliefs. Her strength inspires you, and her independence assures you of mutual respect and space within the relationship. Knowing she can navigate life’s challenges independently gives you confidence in facing them together as a team.

These are just some of the essential qualities couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo highlights for finding the right partner. Ultimately, marrying someone who embodies empathy, friendship, encouragement, shared values, trust, effective communication, mutual respect, and independence ensures a fulfilling lifelong journey together.