Whether it is a simple disagreement about what a child can eat for dinner, what they can wear or how to discipline them, disagreement is inevitable when it comes to parenting.
Most couples experience this situation at one time or another. You as a parent becomes rooted in our position. And what began as a problem between you and your child rapidly evolves into a problem between you and your spouse. You are no more parenting as a team.
There’s so much to do and discuss, and it’s rare that two people would agree completely. Instead of screaming and shouting, one should look to resolve issues smoothly the next time you find yourself in the middle of a heated argument.
In this article, Delhi based relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares tips to resolve parenting disagreements with your partner.
Avoid Broad Statements
There is a saying never say never. The saying also accurately fits for arguments. The thing about saying always and never is that it is rarely ever true. Using such words, broad language can create unnecessary drama and ultimately, damage. Instead, try using sentences like I have noticed that recently you have let him stay up later than I am comfortable with. Using milder language can promote a soft reaction and help you reach a peaceful agreement.
Stick To The Topic
There is a habit to bring up past issues and grievances during an argument that might have nothing to do with the disagreement at a given time. Focusing on the issue in question and trying to resolve that only instead of unearthing up the past will make it simpler to come to a resolution.
Give Space And Time To Process
Never go to bed angry, you might have heard this plenty of times. Forget all of that. At times, sleeping on an issue or opting to walk away and discuss something at a later time allows you time and space to process your feelings and emotions. You could get up with a new, fresh approach that makes room for an easy solution.
Using “I”
Rather than placing the blame on your spouse and leading with statements like, you never do anything in the house or you are never available for the kids, try conveying with I really appreciate it when you do the laundry, or I like how you interact with the kids.
Understand That You Both Add Value
Each of you has different styles and strengths you bring to the table. Identify that you both have unique gifts to offer your child and play them up. If one of you has more patience at bedtime, make that partner as the official bedtime parent. If the other loves cooking, take benefit of that passion and allow your spouse to spend some time getting creative in the kitchen.