Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Rejection has always been a part of growing up, but for today’s youth, it often feels heavier, louder, and more public than ever before. In a world shaped by social media, instant feedback, and constant comparison, rejection is no longer just a private disappointment.

It can feel like a public verdict. From being left on “read” to not getting enough likes or being excluded online, digital culture has transformed how young people experience and process rejection. This raises an important question about whether the online world is making emotional resilience harder to build, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is one of the top couples therapists and relationship counsellors in Delhi.

Rejection in the Age of Visibility

In earlier generations, rejection usually happened in limited social circles. A declined invitation, a failed exam, or a romantic disappointment was often experienced privately or shared with a few trusted people. Today, online platforms make social interactions visible and measurable.

When a post receives little engagement or a message goes unanswered, rejection feels quantified and exposed. For many young people, these small digital signals are interpreted as judgments on their worth, making rejection feel constant rather than occasional.

The Pressure of Constant Comparison

Social media encourages users to compare their lives with carefully curated versions of others’ success and happiness. When young people see peers achieving milestones, gaining attention, or appearing confident and admired, rejection can feel like personal failure rather than a normal life experience.

This comparison culture amplifies self-doubt and can make setbacks feel more significant than they truly are. Instead of seeing rejection as a temporary obstacle, many begin to internalise it as a defining trait.

Fear of Public Failure

Online culture has blurred the line between private mistakes and public embarrassment. A rejection can quickly become visible through screenshots, unfollows, or subtle online signals. This creates a fear of trying at all.

Many young people hesitate to apply for opportunities, express feelings, or share creative work because the possibility of rejection feels too public and permanent. The internet rarely forgets, and this perceived permanence adds emotional weight to every risk.

Reduced Opportunities to Build Resilience

Resilience is often built through repeated exposure to disappointment and recovery. However, digital interactions can limit this process. Online rejection tends to be abrupt, silent, or ambiguous, offering little explanation or closure.

Being ignored or excluded online does not provide the feedback needed to learn and grow. Over time, this can make rejection feel confusing and deeply personal, rather than a normal part of human interaction.

Emotional Validation and External Approval

Online culture places strong emphasis on validation through likes, comments, and followers. When approval becomes external and numerical, rejection feels like the absence of value. Youth who grow up equating attention with self-worth may struggle more when validation is withdrawn. This dependency can make rejection emotionally overwhelming, as it challenges both confidence and identity.

Learning to Reframe Rejection

Despite these challenges, online culture does not make rejection impossible to handle; it simply changes how it must be understood. Teaching young people to separate online feedback from self-worth is essential.

Rejection, whether online or offline, is not a reflection of personal value but a natural outcome of diverse opinions, preferences, and circumstances. Developing digital literacy, emotional awareness, and self-compassion can help youth navigate rejection more healthily.

Online culture has undeniably reshaped how today’s youth experience rejection, making it more visible, frequent, and emotionally intense. While this environment presents new challenges, it also offers an opportunity to redefine resilience for the digital age. By encouraging meaningful offline connections, fostering self-worth beyond online approval, and normalising rejection as part of growth, young people can learn not only to cope with rejection but to grow stronger through it.

Yes, a movie ends on a happy note — the hero and heroine walking into their “happily ever after.” But real life actually begins from there. When two people meet and fall in love, they make promises — some spoken, many unspoken.

As days turn into months and years, conflicts slip in naturally. Misunderstandings arise, expectations grow heavier, and the magic of the beginning can start to dim under the weight of everyday reality. But not all conflicts are bad. In fact, some are necessary. They peel away the illusions of perfection and invite both partners to grow. Yet when arguments begin to cross a line — when every disagreement feels like a battlefield — that’s when it’s time to pause.

How to de-escalate heated fights amongst couples?

Arguments shouldn’t spoil the bond; instead, learning to de-escalate them can strengthen it. And to help couples handle these stormy moments, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a leading relationship expert and one of the highly experienced marriage counsellors in Delhi, India.

Press the Pause Button

When an argument starts to intensify, it helps if one person presses pause right away. A relationship grows stronger when both people choose connection over winning, because it’s not about who’s right—it’s about how you treat each other while you work through things together.

Taking a short break lets emotions cool, prevents regretful words, and gives each person space to reflect on what they’re really feeling.

Research even shows that about twenty minutes is often enough to bring your heart rate down and regain a sense of calm. In moments like these, the healthiest thing you can do is step back and say, “Let’s stop here for a moment. We need to hear each other out.”

Reflect

Once you hit the pause button, the next step is to reflect on your own feelings, on what the situation is really asking of you, and on how things might look from your partner’s side. This small moment of self-check creates space for calm and clarity, making it easier to speak with empathy rather than react out of frustration.

It’s natural to feel convinced that we’re right and the other person is wrong, but pausing helps us soften that instinct and look at the situation with a bit more honesty. In that brief break, you can sort through what you actually need, what may have triggered you, and how to express yourself without blame.

Often, just taking those few intentional seconds is enough to shift the entire tone of the conversation and prevent it from spiraling.

Find out the Real Why

When couples argue, the real issue often slips beneath the surface, buried under reactions, tone, or the heat of the moment‌. That’s why it helps to pause and look for the⁠ true trigger—sometimes it’s something as small as feeling unheard, overwhelmed⁠, or unappreciated, rather than whatever started the argument on the surface.

If you peel back the layers a bit, you might find that one person was already carrying stress‍ from elsewhere, or that an old, unresolved concern got brushed up‍ again without anyone realising it. Getting to that “why” isn’t about assigning blame; it’s about understanding the emotional undercurrent‌ so both people can respond with empathy instead of frustration.

Listen to Your Partner

Sometimes the simplest advice is the hardest to follow — just listen. In the middle of a heated argument, couples often talk over each other, raising their voices without actually hearing a word being said. But listening is one of the most powerful tools for de-escalation.

When you slow down and genuinely pay attention, you’re not just absorbing words — you’re acknowledging your partner’s feelings, showing that their emotions matter, and creating space for understanding instead of defensiveness.

Real listening means trying to grasp what they’re really upset about, what they need, and why it matters to them. It’s a sign of respect, care, and willingness to fix the issue rather than fuel it further.

And often, once someone feels heard, the tension softens naturally; solutions appear more easily, and the conversation becomes less about winning and more about reconnecting. Listening doesn’t magically solve everything, but it opens the door to resolution — and that’s usually all a relationship needs to start moving forward again.

Choose Your Words

It’s surprising how quickly a‍ few careless words can‍ turn a small disagreement into something painful. In the heat of an argument—especially between couples—words can come out harsh, thoughtless, or completely misunderstood, and once they’re said, you can’t take them back.

That’s‌ why choosing your words‍ with intention matters so much, instead of slipping into blame,⁠ personal attacks, or sweeping statements like “you always” or “you never,” try grounding the conversation in your own feelings with gentle “I”‌ statements.

Slow down, listen without interrupting, and make space for your partner to feel heard. Not every disagreement needs a winner; sometimes the real victory is understanding each other better. A little patience, clarity, and‍ kindness can keep a difficult⁠ moment from becoming a damaging one.

In a nutshell, de-escalating arguments isn’t about winning—it is about caring for each other. Take a step back,‍ listen, understand what’s really bothering each other, and communicate gently. Little pauses, honest reflection, and thoughtful words can turn tension into connection, helping couples grow closer instead of drifting apart.

Check out Popular Blog Posts on relationship tips on Couple fights

• Why Fighting Over Who’s Right Is the Wrong Approach in a Relationship? – One of the top couples therapists in Delhi and Gurgaon, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, explains why arguing over right vs. wrong harms relationships.

• How To Make Your Boyfriend Talk after a Fight? – How to make your boyfriend talk after a fight? Answers Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the leading marriage counsellors and one of the best relationship therapists in India.

• Is Your Relationship Worth Fighting For? Signs You Should Not Give Up Just Yet – Marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells if your relationship is worth fighting for?

• Why Fighting with your Partner is Good for your Relationship – Shivani Misri Sadhoo at Saarthi Counselling Services is there to guide and help you if you are experiencing too much of a fight or constraints in your relationship.

• Do You Find It Difficult to Approach Your Partner After a Fight? – Marriage Counsellor Shivani Sadhoo Reveals How to Break the Silence Post a Fight with Your Partner

When you’re deeply in love with someone, it’s so easy to let certain things slide. In those early, starry-eyed days of love, everything feels magical — you’re wrapped up in affection, laughter, and the thrill of being together. But as that initial “lovey-dovey” phase begins to settle, reality slowly seeps in. You start noticing the small differences — the way you both think, react, and handle situations. Disagreements begin to show up, and that’s perfectly normal.

Contrary to what many people believe, conflicts don’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with your relationship. In fact, they’re an inevitable part of any close emotional bond. Conflicts can either be constructive or destructive — it all depends on how couples handle them. When arguments leave you feeling unsafe, disrespected, or unresolved, they can become toxic. However, when it comes to the everyday disagreements and annoyances that every long-term relationship faces, expressing your frustrations and discussing them is not only normal but also necessary.

Interestingly, research shows that couples who argue — and resolve those arguments — tend to stay together longer than those who suppress their issues. The key lies in how you navigate those rough patches.

So, if you’ve recently had a nasty fight with your boyfriend and now find yourself facing the silent aftermath, wondering how to make him talk again, don’t panic. Silence after a fight can feel heavy, but it doesn’t have to mean the end of communication.

How to make your boyfriend talk after a fight?

Here are some thoughtful ways to break the ice and reconnect with him after an argument, shared by none other than Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the leading marriage counsellors and one of the best relationship therapists in India.

Stay Calm

Perhaps one of the first things you can do after a fight with your boyfriend is to disconnect for a while and calm yourself down. A calm mind helps you think clearly and logically and understand the situation better. When you are composed, you can express yourself without anger or blame, which makes it easier for your boyfriend to open up and talk. Giving yourself time to relax not only helps you regain balance but also creates space for honest and peaceful communication.

Choose Written Communication

You’ve just had a fight with your boyfriend and are not on talking terms at all. So, what next? How about turning to written communication? When words fail to come out face-to-face, writing can bridge the silence. Thanks to the digital age, messages travel faster than thoughts, giving you time to express feelings without interruptions or ego clashes. A simple text can ease tension, clear misunderstandings, and gently open the door to conversation once again.

Retrospection

Retrospection is vital after a heated argument, as it allows one to look inward and evaluate their actions and communication style. By identifying what triggered his anger or hurt, one gains clarity about emotional patterns and underlying issues. Taking accountability for one’s role instead of assigning blame fosters openness and trust. Often, what seems like a small disagreement hides deeper feelings—such as feeling neglected or misunderstood—and through reflection, these real concerns can be addressed, encouraging him to talk again.

Give Him Time To Think

Sometimes it is essential to give your boyfriend some space after a fight. As they say, silence is golden—and it truly is at times. He needs time to process his thoughts and emotions, which are probably tangled and intense right now. Don’t overburden him with constant messages or questions; instead, let him breathe. When the storm settles, approach him calmly, with understanding and warmth. A gentle tone and open heart can do wonders, making it easier for him to express what he truly feels.

Surprise Him

Conflicts or arguments can happen for many reasons, and sometimes emotions get the best of us. To help make your boyfriend talk after a nasty fight, you can take a gentle approach by surprising him with his favourite meal, a small gift, or something meaningful that shows you still care. This simple gesture can melt away anger and open the door for calm communication. Once he feels your effort and sincerity, he’ll be more willing to talk, understand your side, and make things right again.

Lend Your Ears

Once your partner is ready to talk, make sure you listen to him carefully. Lend your ears completely. Disconnect yourself from digital media to reconnect with him genuinely. Give him your undivided attention and let him feel that his thoughts matter. Avoid interrupting or defending yourself; instead, focus on understanding his emotions. Maintain gentle eye contact and use a calm tone to create a safe space. Sometimes, just being fully present can melt the tension and open his heart to speak freely again.

Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but how you handle them makes all the difference. Stay calm, reflect, give space, and communicate with empathy—whether through words or gestures. Listen with an open heart, show care, and let love guide you back to understanding and connection.

In a world where relationship labels are becoming more fluid, it’s easy to feel confused about the nature of your bond with someone. You may feel deeply connected to a person — emotionally safe, truly understood — yet there’s no romantic or sexual involvement. Is it just friendship, or something more meaningful, yet still non-romantic? That’s where the concept of a platonic relationship comes in. Understanding this can help you navigate your feelings and define your relationship better, as explained by eminent relationship and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo here.

What is a Platonic Relationship?

A platonic relationship is an emotionally close connection between two people that is not based on physical or romantic attraction. The term comes from the ideas of the Greek philosopher Plato, who believed that the highest form of love transcends physical desire and is rooted in mutual respect, intellectual connection, and deep emotional bonding.

This kind of relationship can exist between any two people, regardless of gender or orientation, and is defined by care, trust, and emotional intimacy without the complexities of romance or sexual tension.

Platonic Relationship vs. Friendship: What’s the Difference?

At first glance, platonic relationships and friendships may seem similar. Both involve companionship, trust, and shared moments. However, platonic bonds tend to carry more emotional weight and consistency than regular friendships.

In a typical friendship, people may connect based on shared activities, environments, or interests. These connections can be casual, and while trust exists, the emotional depth may not always run very deep. Friendships can fade over time as circumstances change.

A platonic relationship, however, tends to hold stronger emotional significance. You may find yourself turning to that person for life advice, sharing your innermost thoughts, or relying on them during difficult times. There’s often a level of priority given to this bond, even if it’s never romantic. It’s like having a life partner — just without the romance.

How to Identify if It’s Platonic or Just Friendship?

If you’re unsure which category your relationship falls into, consider the emotional dynamics. Do you feel emotionally safe and fully yourself around this person? Are they the first one you think of when you’re going through something important, good or bad? Do you value their presence in your life regardless of circumstances, and does the bond remain strong even without constant communication?

Also, notice if there’s mutual clarity. Platonic relationships often involve a silent understanding that the connection is deep and meaningful, but not romantic. There’s no hidden agenda, no mixed signals, and no pressure to turn it into something else.

Can Platonic Relationships Evolve Into Romance?

They can, but not always. Sometimes emotional closeness can lay the foundation for romantic feelings, especially if both people begin to see each other in a new light. However, many platonic relationships remain beautifully non-romantic throughout life, offering emotional nourishment without any complications.

If feelings do change on either side, honest communication becomes key. Ignoring shifting emotions can lead to confusion, distance, or even the end of the bond.

Platonic relationships are often underrated, yet they can be some of the most fulfilling connections in life. If you’re lucky enough to have someone who supports you emotionally, respects your boundaries, and remains consistently present, without any romantic strings, then you’re experiencing the rare beauty of platonic love. Understanding and honouring this kind of bond can enrich your emotional well-being and add a layer of stability and depth to your life that few relationships can offer.

We do not live in a perfect world, and no relationship is flawless. It is quite natural for all relationships to go through ups and downs. Conflicts and disagreements are bound to happen, even in the most loving families.

According to psychologists, the fact that parents fight is not the real issue—what truly matters is how they resolve those fights, with maturity and a balanced point of view. When parents manage their disagreements with calm, maturity, and mutual respect, some arguments can actually be constructive and can teach kids valuable lessons about communication and compromise.

Children are vulnerable. They are innocent. For them, parents are the primary source of safety and stability. So, when they see their parents yelling or arguing, they feel insecure and scared. This kind of toxic environment can leave an indelible mark on their young minds—sometimes with long-term psychological consequences.

How can You Safeguard Your Children during Couple Arguments?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the top couples therapists in Delhi, shares a few tips and tricks on how to protect children when couples argue.

1. Don’t Raise Your Voice

Parenting is tough, no doubt, and an argument between a couple can’t always be avoided. However, how we handle these arguments matters most, especially in front of our children. When voices are raised, the impact on a child can be deeper than we imagine. They may not always show it, but they’re soaking in every word, every tone, and every reaction. A loud argument can leave them feeling unsafe or anxious, and over time, they may begin to mirror that behavior.

Kids don’t just hear us—they learn from us. If we shout when we’re upset, they may grow up thinking that’s how stress or disagreement is supposed to be handled. But if we can stay calm, even when things get heated, we’re teaching them strength, patience, and emotional stability. It’s not about being perfect parents—it’s about being conscious ones, especially when little ears and hearts are in the room.

2. Maintain Privacy

A good way to handle arguments between couples is to keep them behind closed doors. Children feel uncomfortable and emotionally unsafe when their parents fight in front of them, even unintentionally. They often have difficulty understanding the full context of disagreements, which can cause confusion, fear, or even a false sense of responsibility.

The privacy of the argument doesn’t make the argument harmless, but it shields the children from the emotional baggage of the argument. While kids can still sense tension in the air, watching it unfold directly is far more damaging. The separation of their children from conflict allows them to feel secure and emotionally stable while also allowing their parents to resolve issues without involving their children.

3. Keep Children Away From The Fights

Keeping kids out of a heated debate is one of the best things parents can do. Children should never be forced to mediate disputes between their parents or be pulled into adult disputes. Children who witness violent arguments, particularly if they feel compelled to choose a side, may become confused, emotionally conflicted, and even hold themselves accountable for the hostility at home.

No child should have to bear the burden of their parents’ problems or feel bad about something that is out of their control. They should be able to grow up without the emotional upheaval of adult arguments, in an environment where they feel safe, secure, and unconditionally loved by both parents.

4. Be Frank With Your Child

Make sure to have a heart-to-heart chat with your child, gently explaining that not all arguments are bad. Let them know that sometimes parents do fight, but that doesn’t mean something is wrong. In fact, some disagreements can lead to healthy conversations and help people understand each other better.

Reassure them that even when people argue, it doesn’t take away the love and care they have for one another. Tell them, “We still love you, and we still love each other.” It’s important to stay calm and help them see that just like they might have small fights with friends at school and then make up later, grown-ups do the same.

5. Seek Professional Guidance

Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective to truly understand what’s going wrong truly. If you’ve fought with your partner in front of your child, don’t be too hard on yourself—it happens. But if these arguments are becoming frequent or turning into shouting matches filled with insults, swearing, or slammed doors, it might be time to seek professional help.

No parent wants their child to carry the emotional weight of constant conflict at home. Counselling or therapy can offer a safe space to work through issues, using practical, proven methods to help couples communicate better and find healthier ways to handle disagreements.

Children deserve a safe, loving environment in which to grow. When parents stay calm, sort out issues in private, and keep little ones away from heated moments, they create a safer space for their children. Reassuring kids with love and honesty and seeking help when needed shows real strength. It’s okay to argue—just protect those tender hearts through it all.

Finding love in today’s digital world can feel like a thrilling adventure or a daunting challenge. With just a swipe or a click, you can meet potential partners from across the globe. But how do you cut through the noise of endless profiles to find someone who genuinely aligns with your goals? While dating apps have made the process convenient, they’ve also introduced complexities that weren’t present in the era of handwritten love letters or classic movie nights of the 1980s.

How do you navigate this modern maze of romance? Can creating the right dating profile really be the key to finding someone special—and perhaps, even leading to marriage?

To answer these questions, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, India’s top couples therapist and relationship counsellor shares her expert tips to craft a dating profile that reflects your true self and attracts the right kind of partner for a meaningful, lasting relationship.

1. Be Authentic when creating your dating profile

Perhaps the first and foremost thing to do when creating a dating profile is to be honest and authentic. Misrepresenting yourself or pretending to be flawless won’t help you find the right person. Be clear about what you want, whether it’s companionship or a lifelong partner, and embrace your imperfections with self-respect. Authenticity is magnetic and shows you value yourself and your journey. Being genuine helps attract someone who truly appreciates you for who you are.

2. Add Your Hobbies and Interests to Your Dating Profile

Always remember, that a successful dating profile should be fun, inviting, and full of personality. Use the 3 Cs— colour, context, and character—to tell your story and stand out. Highlight your hobbies, interests, and how you spend weekends. Focus on passions, like things you love doing, rather than problems.

Take advantage of the dating apps, to add details about work, family, and favourite activities. Keep it lighthearted and engaging to make online dating enjoyable for you and your matches.

3. Get To Know Your Potential Partner

Many times, while creating an attractive dating profile, we focus on showcasing ourselves but forget to express interest in knowing our potential partner. People value being known and supported, especially by romantic partners, where this understanding feels unique. Research shows that the most appealing profiles highlight a genuine desire to know and support a partner. The promise of being truly understood attracts others, as the need to feel known is a fundamental human desire.

4. Do Not Leave Any Gaps

Incomplete dating profiles are a big letdown. They show a lack of effort and interest, which can leave a poor first impression. First impressions matter, especially on dating apps, where your profile is the only way strangers get to know you.

Don’t approach it with a defeatist attitude, thinking it won’t work. A pessimistic outlook is never attractive and will only drive potential matches away. Take the time to complete your profile thoughtfully—it’s worth it.

5. Post Current Photo

Your face is a mirror to your mind, reflecting your true self. It’s important to be remembered for who you are today, not how you looked years ago in high school. Always post current photos when dating, as your partner wants to see the real you.

Outdated pictures often lead to mismatched expectations and disappointment. Include a mix of photos like headshots, full-body shots, and candid moments that reveal your hobbies and personality. Use clear, well-lit, high-resolution images. Avoid filters, as they can create a false impression. Show your true self with confidence.

6. Make Your Intentions Clear

There is no need to play hide and seek with your potential dating partner. Be upfront about your expectations from the start. If you’re unsure about what you want, it’s okay to admit it. Say that you’d like to explore compatibility and see where the relationship leads. If you’re someone who doesn’t enjoy mind games, make it clear what that means for you. Let them know you want a connection without unnecessary drama, chaos, or emotional baggage. Honesty sets the right foundation for any relationship.

In a nutshell, creating an effective dating profile requires authenticity, showcasing your hobbies and interests, and expressing a genuine desire to know your potential partner. Complete your profile thoughtfully, post current photos, and be clear about your intentions. By embracing these tips, you can craft a profile that reflects your true self and attracts a meaningful, lasting connection.

Life isn’t always smooth, and relationships—whether romantic, familial, or friendships—come with their fair share of ups and downs. Suddenly something still feels off. Maybe the conversations have lost depth, intimacy feels more like an obligation or the emotional closeness you once cherished seems distant. If this resonates with you, it might be time to address intimacy issues before the gap grows wider.

If you’ve ever felt like you and your partner are merely coexisting rather than truly connecting, you’re not alone. Many relationships appear fine on the surface—there’s no major conflict, you function as a team, and others might even admire your bond.

But deep inside, there’s an unsettling emptiness, a sense that something crucial is missing. Often, this missing piece is intimacy—not just physical but emotional, too. Marriage and relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few tips and tricks to resolve these intimacy issues in a relationship or marriage.

How to solve intimacy issues in a relationship or marriage?

1. Find Out The Root Cause

The first step in resolving intimacy issues in a relationship is identifying the root cause. Intimacy isn’t limited to physical connection; emotional and intellectual intimacy are just as significant. Emotional intimacy involves sharing deep thoughts and feelings, while intellectual intimacy is about connecting through meaningful conversations and shared opinions.

Understanding which form of intimacy is lacking can help uncover underlying issues, such as past trauma, fear of vulnerability, or communication barriers, making it easier to address and resolve the problem.

2. Communicate Effectively

One of the best ways to resolve intimacy issues in a relationship or marriage is through effective communication. Open and honest conversations, where both partners express their feelings, concerns, and desires, create trust and understanding.

It’s vital to approach these talks with empathy, patience, and active listening, ensuring both partners feel heard and validated. By discussing what works and what needs improvement, couples can reconnect and work together to strengthen their emotional and physical bond.

3. ‘Shared Reality’ Helps

Sometimes, couples face challenges in emotional, physical, and intellectual intimacy due to a lack of understanding and alignment. This is where “shared reality” comes in—a concept that refers to both partners having a mutual understanding and agreement on their experiences, values, and needs. When a couple is “on the same page,” it allows them to address issues more effectively. For example, if one partner feels neglected emotionally, but the other isn’t aware, sharing their emotional realities helps bridge the gap, leading to a better connection.

In terms of physical intimacy, understanding each other’s boundaries and desires promotes a more comfortable and satisfying relationship. Similarly, shared reality in intellectual intimacy allows partners to engage in deeper conversations, respecting each other’s views, which strengthens their bond. This helps couples to navigate challenges better, leading to a more fulfilling and connected relationship.

4. Quality Time Matters

Amid the hustle of daily life, spending quality time together can significantly strengthen intimacy in a relationship. It’s about being emotionally present, giving each other undivided attention, and engaging in meaningful moments.

Whether it’s sharing a quiet evening or discussing dreams and challenges, these moments deepen the connection. Focus on each other. That’s how partners create a sense of being valued, heard, and understood, which strengthens their emotional bond.

5. Consult An Expert

If none of these tricks helps, seeking expert guidance can be a valuable step in resolving intimacy issues in a relationship or marriage. A therapist, counsellor, or mediator brings an unbiased perspective to the table, free from the emotional complexities that often cloud communication between partners.

They offer strategies to navigate tough conversations, helping both individuals express their feelings openly and understand each other’s viewpoints. Professional help is not a sign of failure, but rather a proactive approach to strengthening the relationship. Sometimes, having an expert facilitate discussions can lead to deeper understanding and renewed connection.

In A Nutshell

Every problem has a solution, and intimacy issues in relationships are no different. By understanding the root cause, communicating openly, creating a shared reality, spending quality time together, and seeking expert help when needed, couples can rebuild their emotional and physical connection, strengthening their bond for a fulfilling partnership.

In an ever-evolving world of dating and relationships, new terms and concepts often emerge to describe different behaviours and experiences. One of those terms gaining attention is “floodlighting.” In dating contexts, floodlighting means the act of overwhelming your partner or potential romantic interest having intense emotions, personal confessions, or deep vulnerabilities pretty early in the relationship.

This could create a sense of emotional overload, leaving the other person feeling pressured or uncertain about the rapid progression of intimacy, discloses leading couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What is Floodlighting?

Floodlighting is mostly driven by an urge for a deep connection, but it could inadvertently push people instead of bringing them closer. It usually happens when one person shares highly personal or emotionally heavy details about his/her life too soon in the relationship. This may include discussing past traumas, fears, insecurities, or deep intimate experiences before the base of trust has been established.

While openness and vulnerability are important in any healthy relationship, floodlighting happens when these aspects are introduced at an excessive pace. The receiver of the floodlighting might feel caught off guard, uncertain of how to respond, or even burdened with emotional responsibility that they are not currently prepared to handle.

What are the Signs of Floodlighting in Dating?

If you are puzzling about whether you or someone you are dating is engaging in floodlighting, here are some of the common signs:

1. Excessive Sharing Too Soon – Talk about your deeply personal experiences, past traumas, or unsolved emotional wounds within the first few dates.
2. Intense Emotional Expression – Displaying love, commitment, or deep feelings of attachment way too early in the relationship.
3. Seeking Instant Emotional Validation – Expecting your partner to reciprocate the same level of emotional intensity straight away.
4. Overwhelming Conversations – Making each conversation about deep, serious, or emotionally charged subjects rather than allowing natural progression.
5. Forming Unbalanced Emotional Dynamics – Making the other partner feel responsible for emotional support prior to a strong bond being formed.

Why Do People Floodlight?

Floodlighting could stem from several psychological and emotional factors, that include:

• Insecurity or Fear of Rejection – Certain individuals might floodlight in an effort to fast-track intimacy and look for reassurance.
• Past Emotional Neglect – Those individuals who have felt unheard or unvalidated in earlier relationships might use floodlighting as a mechanism to seek immediate emotional connection.
• Attachment Styles – A person with anxious attachment styles usually struggles with pacing emotional disclosure, leading towards floodlighting.
• Romantic Idealization – A few believe that love must be instant and intense, making them rush emotional intimacy.

How to Avoid Floodlighting in Dating?

If you identify floodlighting tendencies in yourself or a partner, think of these strategies to form a healthier emotional connection:

• Pace Your Emotional Sharing – Develop intimacy slowly and naturally rather than disclosing too much too soon.
• Practice Self-Awareness – Identify when your emotions are driving your actions and take a step back if necessary.
• Form Mutual Comfort Levels – Make sure both partners feel comfortable having the level of emotional depth being shared.
• Concentrate on Enjoying the Moment – Rather than rushing to form deep connections, allow time for the relationship to form organically.

Floodlighting in dating is a conduct that stems from a genuine urge for closeness, but it could often backfire due to an overwhelming romantic interest. Healthy relationships need a balanced way to emotional sharing, letting both partners feel safe, secure, easy, and engaged without any undue pressure. By being aware of emotional pacing and forming natural connections, individuals could form stronger, more lasting relationships sans the unintended outcomes of floodlighting.

We live in an era where relationships are no longer confined to traditional definitions. Love, commitment, and companionship have taken on various forms, often influenced by social media, dating apps, and evolving societal norms.

From situationships to ghosting, breadcrumbing to benching, modern relationship dynamics have become increasingly intricate. The once-clear distinction between casual and serious commitments has blurred, making many wonder: Are people afraid of long-term relationships? Can there be a relationship devoid of emotions?

If you’ve ever pondered whether such a connection is possible, psychologist and eminent relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo sheds light on the concept of no-strings-attached (NSA) relationships and what they truly entail. 

What does No Strings Attached mean?

A “no strings attached” (NSA) relationship is all about passion without the weight of commitment. Whether romantic, sexual, or business-related, it thrives on mutual consent, freedom, and zero expectations. Think of it as an endless honeymoon phase—carefree, fun, and pressure-free—where no one anticipates a fairytale ending, just the joy of the moment.

What is the Psychology behind No Strings Attached?

The psychological factors that probably contribute to NSA are:

• Avoiding Emotional Vulnerability: Setting clear boundaries helps individuals protect themselves from potential hurt or disappointment if feelings develop.

• Freedom and Exploration: Allows both partners to experiment with different sexual dynamics and desires without the pressure of commitment.

• Emotional Independence: Ideal for those prioritizing personal growth or busy lifestyles, as it offers emotional freedom without the responsibilities of a committed relationship.

• Managing Expectations: Clearly defining the relationship as “no strings attached” minimizes misunderstandings about commitment levels.

• Individualistic Focus: Encourages prioritizing personal needs and desires over a partner’s, emphasizing personal agency and freedom.

• Exploration and Sexual Satisfaction: Provides a safe space to explore physical desires, experiment with preferences, and boosts sexual confidence.

What do You Gain in No Strings Attached?

1. No Need To Commit – If you are someone who isn’t ready to settle down, an NSA relationship can be ideal. With no pressure to commit, it offers convenience, freedom, and enjoyment without relationship-based responsibilities. There’s no exclusivity unless agreed upon, allowing individuals to engage with multiple partners. It’s a carefree way to explore connections without long-term obligations or vows.

2. Time is not a Constraint – In today’s fast-paced world, time is a luxury. An NSA (No Strings Attached) relationship offers the advantage of flexibility, allowing individuals to connect without the pressure of strict schedules or long-term commitments. Unlike traditional relationships, NSA interactions fit seamlessly into busy lifestyles, ensuring enjoyment without overwhelming obligations. With no need to coordinate availability, partners can focus on shared moments without sacrificing personal or professional priorities.

3. Self-Exploration – It helps you explore different relationship dynamics without commitment, giving insight into what you truly value in a partner. By experiencing various interactions, you become aware of traits you appreciate and those you cannot tolerate. This freedom boosts confidence, enhances communication, and allows self-discovery. A no-strings-attached arrangement helps you assess what works for you, ensuring you make informed choices when seeking a meaningful future relationship.

What Do We Lose?

1. Emotional Turmoil – The biggest drawback of an NSA relationship is the risk of emotional pain. When feelings get involved, someone often ends up hurt, feeling used or unvalued. If one partner develops deeper emotions while the other doesn’t, it leads to heartbreak. Though NSA relationships start with no expectations, they can still result in conflict and painful endings, making emotional detachment difficult in the long run.

2. Low Self-esteem – A “No Strings Attached” (NSA) relationship can negatively impact self-confidence by causing emotional detachment and feelings of being “used.” The lack of commitment may lead to anxiety, rejection fears, and self-doubt, especially if one person develops deeper feelings. Studies link casual sex to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. While NSA can boost confidence temporarily, it often undermines self-worth in the long run.

3. Negative Impact on Mental and Physical Health -Casual relationships might seem risk-free, but they come with hidden health risks. Without commitment or accountability, the chances of STIs increase due to a lack of exclusivity. Another overlooked aspect is sexual aftercare—emotional and physical support after intimacy. In committed relationships, partners naturally care for each other’s well-being, but in casual encounters, this essential care is often missing, affecting both physical and emotional health.

In a nutshell, NSA relationships offer freedom, excitement, and self-exploration without the weight of commitment. However, they come with emotional risks, potential self-esteem issues, and health concerns. While they suit some, they may not be for everyone. Understanding personal boundaries and expectations is key to making informed choices in modern relationship dynamics.

Divorce can be one of the most challenging experiences in life, bringing emotional turmoil, uncertainty, and a need for reinvention. Whether the separation was amicable or contentious, the transition can feel overwhelming. However, life after divorce is not just about coping—it is about healing and rebuilding a fulfilling future.

How do you heal and start rebuilding after a divorce?

Here’s how you can embark on this journey as shared by couples therapist and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Divorce represents the end of a significant chapter in your life. It is natural to experience a mix of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, and even relief. Suppressing these feelings can prolong the healing process. Allow yourself to grieve and process your emotions. Seeking professional counseling or joining support groups can help you navigate this emotional phase more effectively.

Rediscover Yourself

Marriage often involves compromise, sometimes at the expense of personal aspirations and interests. Post-divorce life is an opportunity to reconnect with yourself. Engage in activities that bring you joy—whether it’s travelling, painting, fitness, or learning a new skill. Embracing your individuality will help you regain confidence and create a fresh identity.

Establish a Support System

Surround yourself with positive influences—family, friends, and support groups who uplift and encourage you. Avoid isolating yourself, as loneliness can intensify feelings of despair. Talking about your experiences and emotions with trusted people can provide comfort and perspective.

Take Charge of Your Finances

Divorce often comes with financial adjustments. If you are dependent on your spouse financially, take proactive steps to gain financial independence. Create a budget, manage expenses wisely, and consider consulting a financial advisor to plan for future stability. Understanding your finances will empower you to make informed decisions about your future.

Prioritize Self-Care

Your well-being should be your top priority. Focus on both physical and mental health. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can significantly improve your mood and energy levels. Meditation, yoga, or therapy can help manage stress and foster emotional resilience.

Set New Goals

A new chapter in life means new opportunities. Set realistic and meaningful goals—whether personal, professional, or relational. It could be advancing your career, starting a business, or forming new social connections. Having goals provides direction and a sense of purpose.

Embrace New Relationships Cautiously

Jumping into a new relationship immediately after divorce may not be the best decision. Take time to heal and understand what you truly want in a partner. When you are emotionally ready, approach dating with an open yet cautious mindset. Prioritize personal growth before committing to someone new.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you find yourself struggling to move on, seeking therapy or professional counseling can be beneficial. A trained therapist can provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to work through unresolved emotions.

Life after divorce can be daunting, but it is also an opportunity for growth and renewal. Healing takes time, but with self-care, support, and a positive outlook, you can rebuild a life that is fulfilling and meaningful. Embrace this new beginning with hope and confidence—your best days are yet to come.