Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

In every relationship, honesty is often described as the cornerstone of trust and intimacy. Couples who value transparency usually feel more connected and secure. Yet the idea of absolute honesty—sharing every thought, feeling, or opinion without filter—raises important questions.

Can complete openness strengthen a relationship, or can it sometimes create more harm than harmony? It’s being explained by relationship expert and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What is the Role of Honesty in Relationships?

Honesty provides the foundation on which trust is built. When partners are truthful, they foster an atmosphere of safety and reliability. Admitting mistakes, acknowledging emotions, and expressing needs openly are all examples of honesty that support healthy bonding, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a leading couples therapist in India.

However, honesty is more than just stating facts. The intention and manner of communication play a crucial role. Truth spoken with sensitivity can build closeness, while truth expressed harshly or without consideration may cause emotional damage.

The Challenges of Absolute Honesty – While honesty is essential, absolute honesty—sharing every thought without reflection—may not always serve the relationship. Several challenges emerge when honesty is taken to its extreme:

Overwhelming the Partner – Not all thoughts require expression. Passing or impulsive ideas, if shared unnecessarily, may create confusion or hurt without adding value.

Tone and Delivery – A Brutal or blunt truth can feel like criticism. Reframing a statement with empathy can make the same truth easier to hear. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” one could say, “I feel unheard when I talk about my day.”

Maintaining Emotional Safety – Relationships thrive when both partners feel emotionally safe. Absolute honesty, expressed without care, may erode this safety and create distance.

Privacy vs. Secrecy – Every person deserves a degree of privacy. This is not the same as keeping secrets; it is about recognising that not every private thought needs to be shared in order for the relationship to remain healthy.

Striking the Right Balance – The healthiest approach lies in thoughtful honesty, not absolute honesty. This means being genuine while also considering the emotional impact on the partner. Key aspects of balanced honesty include:

• Expressing feelings and needs clearly so that misunderstandings are reduced.
• Communicating with compassion, ensuring the truth is shared with kindness.
• Avoiding unnecessary bluntness, as honesty should build the relationship rather than weaken it.
• Listening with openness, since honesty also involves accepting a partner’s truth with respect.

Absolute honesty is not always beneficial in relationships. What strengthens intimacy and trust is authentic, considerate honesty—the type that is truthful yet compassionate, open yet respectful of emotional safety. Relationships flourish when honesty is practiced in a way that nurtures growth rather than causing harm.

Instead of aiming to share every thought without filter, couples are encouraged to focus on honesty that deepens connection, builds trust, and allows both partners to feel safe being their true selves.

Being single is not a flaw. It can be a conscious, empowered, and deeply fulfilling choice. While society often paints romantic relationships and marriage as the ultimate milestones of adult life, many people are choosing a different path. They don’t see marriage as the be-all and end-all. Instead, they prioritise personal growth, career goals, creative pursuits, spiritual exploration, and deepening connections with friends and family.

What makes one stay single?

If you are wondering why some people genuinely love staying single, here are four reasons shared by leading relationship and marriage therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

1. They love their Independence

One of the biggest reasons people enjoy staying single is the freedom that comes with it. Relationships often involve compromises, shared responsibilities, and constant coordination—which can feel limiting for those who deeply value their independence. When you’re single, you can set your own schedule, chase personal goals, and make decisions without having to factor in someone else’s needs.

That kind of autonomy can be incredibly fulfilling, especially for those who thrive on self-reliance and personal growth. Choosing to stay single doesn’t mean someone is selfish—it simply means they’re prioritising their own well-being and sense of identity. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

2. Painful Past Experience

Another reason some people choose to stay single is because of painful past experiences. When someone has been deeply hurt in a previous relationship, it can leave emotional scars that take a long time to heal. The fear of being hurt again makes it hard to trust or open up.

Even if they want love, the memories of heartbreak hold them back. Staying single becomes a way to protect their heart, to avoid the pain they once knew too well.

3. Longing and Boundaries

Some people avoid relationships because their emotional needs feel too intense, even shameful. They fear being a burden, so they isolate themselves to protect others—and themselves. Others are aware of their neediness but try to manage it, often shaped by early experiences with emotionally demanding caregivers.

They might avoid intimacy to protect their boundaries or fear being overwhelmed by a partner’s needs. Both responses are valid and deeply human. Healing starts by understanding your story, accepting where you are, and gently making space for both connection and self-protection.

4. Avoid Commitment

Some people stay single because they fear commitment—not out of coldness, but from a deep, often quiet vulnerability. The idea of merging their life with someone else can feel suffocating or risky. Maybe they’ve seen relationships fall apart or felt trapped in the past.

Commitment demands trust, openness, and emotional risk, which can be daunting. For them, staying single offers a sense of control and emotional safety. It’s not that they don’t crave connection—they just struggle with the weight of promises that feel too heavy or permanent to carry.

In a nutshell, people stay single for all sorts of deeply human reasons—some love their freedom, others are healing from old wounds. Some guard their hearts with healthy boundaries, while others quietly fear the weight of commitment. Whatever the reason, choosing to stay single can be a brave, thoughtful, and beautifully intentional way to live.

We live in an era where boys and girls fall in love quickly—and drift apart just as easily. Whether you are in a situationship, where you are still in the friendship zone, and not yet a couple, or a texlationship, which is based primarily on texting with little to no real-life interaction, modern relationships are undeniably volatile.

With the advent of social media, true emotions are hard to decipher. We often wonder if in this age of interconnectedness, we have actually become more disconnected. Amid the noise of notifications and filtered personas, have we lost the warmth of genuine human connection? Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a relationship expert and certified relationship counsellor, tells her readers what being in a relationship truly means.

In simple words, the term ‘relationship’ refers to the connection or bond between two or more people. When a couple is in a relationship, they are emotionally attached to each other. Leading marriage counsellor in India, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, explains the real meaning of relationship in this blog.

What is The Real Meaning of Being in A Relationship?

To have Faith

Yes, perhaps the ubiquitous truth—faith or trust is the basic foundation of any healthy relationship. If you are in a relationship with someone, the ability to believe in them, the way they behave and their intentions is vital. Faith means giving someone the benefit of the doubt, even when circumstances test your patience.

It’s knowing that your partner has your best interests at heart, even when times are tough. Without faith, insecurity creeps in, and love slowly erodes. It’s not only about trusting that your partner would choose fidelity over betrayal, but also trusting that they will show up for you emotionally, be honest with their feelings, and stand by your side through life’s unpredictability.

To Understand Each Other

Love is not the only glue that holds a relationship together. Mutual understanding is very important. Partners need to understand each other. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words. A couple should be able to understand each other’s feelings and emotions without always having to explain them.

To understand someone is to be aware of their feelings, to have empathy, and to genuinely care about their inner world. Studies reveal that most of the relationships crumble not because couples fall out of love, but because there is a lack of proper understanding and communication.

To Not Judge Each Other

Another very important aspect in a relationship is not to judge each other. Many a time, even if the partners know each other well, it’s easy to fall into the trap of making assumptions or passing judgments, especially during moments of stress or disagreement. When one partner feels judged, it can lead to defensiveness, withdrawal, or even resentment.

Instead, couples should sit together and sort out their misunderstandings with patience, empathy and open communication. The moment you start judging each other over trivial issues, the trust that has been built over time can begin to erode.

To Stand by Each Other

In a true relationship, partners should always stand by each other, irrespective of the situation. One cannot always predict the challenges life will throw their way, but unconditional support, empathy, and commitment help couples endure and grow stronger.

It doesn’t really matter what the issue is; the most important thing is to be with your significant other when they need you the most. It is not only about celebrating the joys – it’s also about weathering the storms together.

To be friends first

If you want a fulfilling relationship, a true relationship, then be a friend to your partner. Friendship is perhaps the most important ingredient of a successful relationship. Friends understand each other, accept each other the way they are and do not judge. It’s easy to be swept away by passion or attraction, but those flames alone can flicker and fade.

That is ephemeral. What truly lasts forever is the kind of connection rooted in friendship. When you are a friend to your partner, you forgive each other easily without holding grudges. Communication is candid. There are no ifs and buts.

To Accept Their Imperfections

A relationship becomes meaningful when you accept your partner just the way they are. Nobody is perfect. You may be good at something your partner struggles with, and vice versa. That’s the true meaning of being in a relationship, when you accept each other’s flaws and strengths equally, supporting one another through growth and vulnerability.

When you love someone, you do not try to change them or mold them into someone they are not. Instead, you embrace their imperfections and create a safe space where both of you can be your authentic selves. A meaningful relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. It’s not about fixing each other, but about growing together. It’s about being each other’s anchor during the storms and celebrating the sunshine side by side.

Ultimately, being in a relationship means having faith, understanding each other deeply, and accepting one another without judgment. It’s about being true friends, offering unconditional support, and embracing imperfections. A real relationship is built on trust, empathy, and love that grows stronger through every challenge shared together.

When relationships start feeling rocky, a lot of people begin searching for professional help. That’s usually when terms like couples therapy and marriage counselling start popping up. At first glance, they seem like the same thing, right? After all, both involve two people sitting down with a professional to talk through their relationship issues.

But here’s the thing—while the two are definitely similar, they’re not quite the same. And the confusion is completely understandable. Even therapists sometimes use the terms interchangeably. But suppose you’re thinking about seeking help. In that case, it’s worth knowing what sets them apart—because the right kind of support can make all the difference, says one of India’s top Gottman-certified couples therapists, Shivani Misri Sadhoo. First, let us clear up the fundamentals.

What is Marriage Counselling?

Marriage counselling is typically designed for married couples or partners in long-term committed relationships, who are dealing with specific, current problems. This could be anything from frequent arguments and lack of communication to disagreements about parenting, finances, or even emotional distance. The idea here is to help couples navigate through rough patches and find better ways to connect.

Think of it like a relationship first-aid. It’s often short-term and focused on resolving a particular issue. A marriage counsellor usually helps both partners improve communication, understand each other better, and rebuild trust. The overall goal is to restore balance and strengthen the relationship so that it can move forward in a healthier way.

What is Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy, on the other hand, goes much deeper. It’s not just about solving a problem—it’s about understanding why that problem exists in the first place. This kind of therapy explores the emotional and psychological patterns that are playing out in the relationship. Sometimes that means revisiting past experiences, personal traumas, or long-standing habits that keep showing up in conflicts.

Couples therapy is usually a longer process and tends to be more intensive. It’s ideal for couples dealing with chronic conflict, emotional disconnection, or those who feel stuck and unsure about the future of their relationship. A couples therapist helps partners dig into their emotional world and figure out not just what’s going wrong—but why.

What is the difference between couples therapy and marriage counselling?

The biggest difference between marriage counselling and couples therapy lies in their focus. Marriage counselling is more about present-day problems and practical solutions—it helps couples communicate better, handle conflict, and find common ground. Couples therapy, meanwhile, focuses on the emotional and psychological layers of the relationship. It aims to uncover deep-rooted patterns that often go unnoticed but continue to affect the way partners relate to each other.

In terms of duration, marriage counselling is usually short-term and goal-oriented, perfect for couples looking to fix a specific issue. Couples therapy is more of a long-term process that requires patience and self-reflection.

The approach is different too. Marriage counselling is often solution-focused and includes tools or techniques to improve communication. Couples therapy leans more toward emotional healing, helping both individuals understand their own feelings and how those feelings shape the relationship dynamic.

Marriage counselling is best suited for couples who are committed and facing challenges they want to overcome together. Couples therapy is ideal for those in more serious distress, where the issues run deeper, and the emotional connection needs rebuilding.

In the End, It is About What You Need

Both marriage counselling and couples therapy can be incredibly helpful, but they serve different purposes. If your relationship is facing a specific hurdle and you’re both ready to work through it, marriage counselling might be the way to go. But if things feel heavier, more emotionally complex, or you’re struggling to even communicate, couples therapy might offer the deeper support you need.

No matter which path you choose, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not failure. Relationships aren’t always easy, but the right kind of support can bring clarity, healing, and a whole new way of understanding each other.

You have been savouring those romantic coffee dates, indulging in long drives, and even sneaking in casual leaves from work just to create special moments with your beloved boyfriend or girlfriend, especially on their birthday. However, when the topic of marriage crosses your mind, there’s a distinct sense that your significant other isn’t quite ready for such a significant commitment or may not be inclined to take that step with you.

Are you curious to find out these tell-tale signs that indicate your significant other might not be ready for the monumental commitment of marriage?

Eminent relationship expert and marriage counselor in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few signs in this article.

Avoiding Future Plans

If your partner constantly sidesteps discussions about the future, especially on topics like settling down or long-term plans, it could indicate a lack of commitment. A genuine desire for a lifelong connection involves open conversations. If your enthusiasm for living together or dream wedding plans is met with lukewarm responses and swift subject changes, it may signal a deeper reluctance to envision a shared future.

Haven’t Met their Family

Is your partner keeping their family a mystery? A red flag in serious relationships is avoiding family introductions. A future spouse willingly integrates into each other’s families. If your significant other hesitates or delays this step, it signals uncertainty about a lifelong commitment. Avoiding family meetings suggests a lack of pride in your connection. Even if an introduction happens, reluctance may hint at future commitment issues.

Lack of Emotional Connection

In a thriving relationship, trust, loyalty, understanding, love, care, and shared emotions are crucial. If your partner refrains from opening up emotionally, it signals a reluctance to include you in their inner world, hinting at a lack of commitment. True connection involves vulnerability and closeness. When a significant other detached emotionally, it suggests a hesitancy to envision a lasting future together. Building emotional walls may signify a reluctance to see you as a lifelong partner.

Always Making Lame Excuses

Your significant other consistently postpones the idea of marriage, citing various reasons like recent conflicts with their mother or work-related stress. Each time, they claim it’s not the “right time.” Whether it’s financial stability or career achievements, the excuses keep piling up.

If someone truly desires marriage, obstacles wouldn’t hinder their commitment. Continuous justifications reveal a reluctance to take that step. Pay attention to actions, as words alone may not paint an accurate picture of their intentions.

Your Partner Isn’t Serious About the Relationship

In a relationship, actions speak louder than words. Take, for instance, when your partner hesitates to hold hands in public or introduces you with only your name, avoiding any mention of your connection. These subtle gestures may signify a reluctance to commit.

If, after months together, your significant other downplays the seriousness of your relationship, it could be a clear indication that marriage isn’t on their horizon. Such reluctance to embrace the connection publicly may reveal their hesitations about a long-term commitment.

 The Discussion does not go Beyond the Proposal

After a joyous proposal, your partner might evade wedding discussions, showing reluctance to set dates or arrange venues, hinting at a hesitancy to commit. A devoted partner eagerly plans a wedding, involving loved ones, but if your significant other hesitates to confirm a date, reconsiderations about the marriage may be surfacing. Pay attention to the unspoken signals, as actions often speak louder than words in matters of the heart.

Now that you know the subtle signs of a partner’s reluctance to commit, it’s crucial to recognize the importance of open communication, emotional connection, and shared future plans in a lasting relationship. Paying attention to actions over words is key, as these indicators can help you navigate potential commitment issues and make informed decisions about your future together.

Are you tired of feeling neglected or undervalued in your relationship? Do you think he takes you for granted and doesn’t care about your emotions? It’s a situation many individuals face, where the struggle to be recognized and appreciated becomes a constant battle. If you’re nodding in agreement, it’s time to take a step back and reflect on how you can make your partner realize your true value in the relationship. Here are some empowering strategies to shift the dynamics and ensure that your worth is not only acknowledged but celebrated.

What are the ways to make him realize your worth?

Let us learn the 6 effective ways of making your partner realize your true worth from the leading couples therapist and relationship counsellor in India, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

1. Love Yourself

Before expecting recognition from others, acknowledge your value. Understand your worth, and let that radiance be your language of love. Don’t let him mistreat or disrespect you. Work on your self-esteem. Let go of all negative feelings and embrace positivity in your approach. Focus on things you love to do and nurture your relationship with yourself. Take good care of yourself. Believe in yourself. Let him see you in a different light.

2. You Don’t Have to Agree to Everything He says

Learn to say NO. If you keep agreeing to each and everything, he will take you for granted. For instance, if he asks you to make a cup of coffee for him while you’re busy finishing a presentation for your office meeting, tell him clearly, “I’m occupied now; could you handle it this time and mine too?”

These well-timed refusals convey your ability to stand firm. Embrace the power of “no” to make him appreciate your individuality, showcasing strength and prompting newfound respect. It’s about asserting yourself gracefully to ensure he values your importance.

3. Don’t Be Available Round-the-Clock

Taking a step back and not being available 24/7 can make your partner appreciate your true worth. When you’re always there, it might seem ordinary. But when you create some space, it highlights your value and independence.

Imagine always having your favourite snack; it’s nice, but when it’s not readily available, you realize how much you truly enjoy and miss it. Similarly, by not being constantly available, you’re giving your partner the chance to realize and cherish your unique qualities and contributions to the relationship.

 4. Give Credit to Your Own Achievements

It’s important to share your successes with your partner, big or small. For instance, if you aced a project at work or learned a new skill, let them know. Celebrating these wins together helps your partner understand your worth and the unique qualities you bring to the relationship.

It’s like opening a window into your world, allowing them to appreciate the brilliance that makes you who you are. This openness develops a deeper connection and showcases the value you bring to the relationship.

5. No Room for Lame Excuses

Stop covering for him. If he messes up, there’s no excuse. Don’t hide behind reasons; if he hurts you, it’s not okay. Make it clear that his behaviour is unacceptable. For instance, if he forgot your birthday calmly express how it hurt you and that it’s not okay.

Avoid making excuses for him, so he understands the impact of his actions. Stand up for yourself; if you don’t, he won’t learn from his mistakes. Make it known that you won’t tolerate disrespectful behaviour, and he needs to face the consequences to grow.

6. Communication is a two-way process

Be independent by expressing your opinions openly, yet stay connected by understanding and respecting his feelings. For instance, if he shares a challenging day at work, responds with empathy and support rather than trying to fix everything.

By accepting him for who he is, he’ll feel valued and appreciated. This blend of independence and connection creates a strong foundation for mutual respect and understanding, making it clear that your worth is not just about your independence but also your ability to connect on a deeper level.

Closing Thoughts

In a nutshell, making your partner realize your true worth is a subtle art that requires a blend of self-assurance, effective communication, and a balanced approach to independence and connection.