Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Avantika’s Story (Not real name)

Hardly a couple of years went into their marriage when Avantika and Rohan (not real names) were thinking about getting a divorce. Avantika was pondering where she went wrong. She analysed back the last couple of years of her marital life and the destruction of her first marriage and then how she met another man named Vishal (name changed) after some time post her divorce. Like Avantika, Vishal too was divorced and they found comfort and distraction both in each other’s company, which eventually turned into likeliness for each other.

Then, suddenly Avantika was feeling as if she had moved on too quickly, and more importantly, has she been able to completely heal from her last broken relationship prior to jumping into the next.

She posed a question to her and also to me when she came for the counseling, says Shivani Sadhoo. The question was “does she completely need to heal before initiating a new relationship”?

The process of grief and healing

Shivani says first, one needs to delve deeper into the question. What do you mean by healing? Does anyone ever “fully” heal? How can one know when they are ready to begin again?

Grief is a cluster of emotions one experiences when one loses someone with whom they had emotional attachments. The feelings one has when grieving is usual, but the majority of the time, they are unpleasant. People look to want them to go away. What requires to be understood though is that these feelings have a reason. Sadness assists you to step away from others and see inward. It presents you with time to analyze yourself and come to realities with your own responsibilities and mistakes. It lends you time to think about the future you wish for and to gradually take steps forward.

There are other feelings while you grieve. Anger is a potent emotion that helps one make changes, but it mostly becomes a source of bonding that could cause problems. Grieving people could join with one another in a relationship formed on their anger at their ex-partners and rapidly bond over that commonality. These relationships may grow fast and feel very powerful, but they require much more than simply shared anger as a basis.

William Worden in his book “Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy” talks of recovery as a four-step First, you should accept the reality of the loss and start to see the opportunities for a new future. Secondly, one needs to feel the feelings of loss. This is the step majorly avoided but it is necessary. Third, you should adjust to the facts of life without the other. The fourth process is letting go of the lost partner and searching for a new, meaningful relationship. These new relationships may be romantic or they could be something else.

Last thought

How much time does it take? People attempt to put a time frame on this procedure, but it’s difficult to measure things in that manner. You might never feel “totally healed.” If you wait for that, you might never move ahead. How do you get to know you are healed enough? When are you actually ready? When the feelings of sadness and loss start to lift when one is alone with their thoughts, and their imagination begins accepting thoughts of a brighter future… one is starting to get there.

This blog is written by top relationship and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What decides whether you click with a new friend, or have good chemistry with a possible romantic partner? You perhaps think that these procedures of interaction attraction are mysterious, or decided by a person’s unique personal attributes — a quick wit, for instance. However, Shivani Sadhoo says research in social psychology indicates that liking and loving are mostly triggered by simple, mundane factors such as how close your apartment is to the stairs.

These factors could be influential to make you more likable and, more essentially, to help you meet your fundamental need for a true social connection, shares Shivani Misri Sadhoo, India’s eminent psychologist and relationship counselor.

Sheer exposure impact

The more one is exposed to a specific thing, the more you tend to like it. This phenomenon is called the sheer exposure impact, this is why one seems to love familiar music to new tunes, elect political candidates having the most media exposure, and grow fonder of persons the more often we interact with them.

One can leverage the mere exposure impact to boost your likeability and assist you to connect with others. Make an attempt to be seen, repeatedly. Turn your camera on during online meetings. Comment on other people’s social media posts. Visit the gym at the same time every day to improve the odds of bumping into the same people. If you can opt for your office or cubicle, opt for one that is close to the break room where more people will see you.

In other words, make yourself visible. Just do not overdo it. Excessive exposure could backfire – evidenced by the fact that you may get sick of hearing your favorite song when it is overplayed.

Remember names

Remembering somebody’s name is vital since it signals that he/she is important to you. On the other hand, failing to remember somebody’s name – or other important aspects about them – weakens the closeness of the relationship.

One of the factors to connecting with others, then, is to remember names. The problems are that remembering a name could be difficult. One impactful, research-based strategy for remembering names is known as retrieval practice — constantly pulling information out of your brain. Shortly after being introduced to someone, retrieve his/her name from memory. Ask yourself: “What was his/her name?” Or, use their name while in conversation. The more consistently you retrieve a name from memory, the more likely you are to remember it.

Smile

In spite of the maxim to “never judge a book by its cover,” one mostly routinely judges people on the basis of their looks. One tends to assume that attractive-looking people are more competent and socially skilled compared to others. One also finds attractive people more likable.

There is great news for those who believe that beauty advantage is an unfair thing. A bright smile can instantly make someone more attractive. In one study, it asked people to rate the attractiveness of computer-generated faces. The faces differ in attractiveness, and whether they were smiling or showing a neutral expression. The results indicated that faces were seen as more attractive when they were smiling, which is consistent with earlier findings on the topic. What really surprised the researchers was that less attractive but smiling faces were rated quite highly as attractive faces without a smile. It was decided that “smiling can compensate for relative unattractiveness.”

If you wish to be perceived as more attractive, more likable – simply flash a smile.

Ask Questions

Be authentically curious about other people and ask them questions. People who ask more questions while in conversations are regarded as more responsive and are more liked by conversation partners. When you ask questions, specifically follow-up questions (“What was that moment like?”), you display that you are actively listening and interested in what that individual has to convey.

To make a good effect, be more interested in other people than you are in making a good impact.

Find Similarities

Studies show that you like people who share your interests, values, and personality traits. Hence, the old saying “birds of a feather flock together” is more correct than the popular belief that “opposites attract.”

When you try to make new friends, fill the deck in your favor by meeting individuals who share your interests. Then, find other things you have in common.

Make others feel good

On the basis of the reward theory of attraction, you like people who reward you, or whom you associate with good feelings. If you wish to enhance your likeability, make others feel good in your company. Be friendly and warm. Give genuine compliments. If you are going for a movie for a first date, opt for a happy film over a sad one.

Stay positive on social media, too. It has been seen that people who tend to make more negative posts on social media are liked less compared to those who make more positive posts. This does not mean that you cannot express your feelings genuinely when you are feeling anxious or depressed, but you might want to save negative disclosures for personal conversations with trusted friends.

Show your liking for them

Liking is mostly mutual. Rather, one of the most powerful factors of whether you will like someone is whether they like you.

In a small way, let another person know that you like them. You can do so using words (“I had so much fun hanging out today”) or through non-verbal behavior – by smiling when he/she enter the room.

Conclusion

Shivani says one can apply the science of attraction to enhance the odds that someone will like you. By doing it, you are not being manipulative. You are merely making it a lot easier to connect with others in this modern, often disconnected world.

Your Therapist Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Happy couples or relationships are not merely about grand gestures or romantic messages. It is a lot more than that, says Shivani Sadhoo.  Happy couples are those who truly love and care for each other. Amidst differences, they support and respect each one’s opinions and that is the hallmark of a true, happy relationship.

When together, such a couple does not need the help of others or superficial materials to keep them entertained. They simply need hearty talk. However, sadly enough, there are several couples who do not realize if they are one of those happy ones. And so, in this blog, Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo lists some attributes that happy couples have in common.

They Have Respect for Each Other

Happy and content couples always respect each other’s views or opinions even if they disagree completely on an issue. They firmly believe that no couple will ever be totally cent percent compatible, so it is necessary to accept each other’s decisions since, at the end of the day, every person is his/her own individual before a relationship.

Interested in Each Other’s Lives

Being keen and interested in what your partner is doing is a healthy sign that you are in a happy relationship. Be it the hobbies, interests, opinions, aspirations showing interest in what a person pursues automatically places their partner in their good books.

Communicate with Each Other

Happy couples never ignore the option of communication out of the door. As vital as any other aspect, communication can assist a couple to understand what they both are thinking or feeling. And without right communication, misunderstandings, arguments, and fights are a surety to grow.

Seeing the Best in their Partners

These couples always see the best in each other as they believe that noticing positive attributes will garner more love in the relationship. Individuals need to know how good they are from their partners in an attempt to feel motivated and happy about themselves. Seeing the negative aspects in each other will only cause the relationship to go haywire.

Happy Even When they are not with Each Other

Couples do not need to be with each other 24/7/365 just to be happy. They can be equally happy and content when spending time with families, friends, or even alone. People in a happy relationship find peace with being content within themselves and then, they go on to share that happiness by being with another individual. Two partners should not be with each other to fill an emotional void.

Non-Motive Based Sex

Happy couples do not necessarily pay attention to sex for pleasure or gratification. It is not their topmost priority in a relationship because they tend to attend to each other’s emotional needs first. Being in a relationship just for the sex is not right as couples are less invested, both emotionally and mentally.

Your Therapist Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Searching for a love partner and maintaining a relationship has always been difficult but it is a little trickier for millennials. Films such as Love Aaj Kal elaborates on the reality that how people love these days is quite different from that of the previous generations.

Relationship Expert Shivani says that life, in general, has changed immensely which has ultimately affected people’s lifestyles too. In this digital age, love tests are given on small screens and people’s affection is proved using social media posts. And it would not be wrong to say that millennials look to date differently compared to their parents and other generations.

In a world where dating is as simple as a left or right swipe, one cannot deny that dating and relationships have completely changed in today’s time. Although every generation has its fair share of issues, some dating issues are specific to millennials which is partly because of the technology boom.

In this article, India’s eminent Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about some of the common relationship problems faced by millennials and ways to deal with them.

Over or Under Sharing on Social Media

Some individuals prefer to share lovey-dovey photographs and posts on social media, others hate it. There is always feasibility of couples getting into arguments or fights because of over or under-sharing on social media. The simplest way to deal with this is that couples should sit and talk and decide what to share and how much to share on social media.

Jealousy Regarding an Act Done on Social Media

Social media activities can probably have bigger consequences in relationships. Finding that your partner has liked a swimsuit or shirtless photo could be disturbing and it can lead to fights. In that scenario, you should always remember that jealousy never serves a productive purpose. And, it is essential not to read too much into your partner’s actions when it comes to social media.

Stress and Depression

Various reports have shown that millennials tend to be more anxious and depressed and they struggle with more mental issues compared to their previous generations, which is partly because of the fast-paced life powered by technology. A stressed or depressed partner can impact a relationship. The ideal method to deal with this is to focus on your partner’s mental health and try out meditation and other remedies or even consulting a counselor if it is the need of the hour to deal with it.

Phubbing

Phubbing is usually when a person ignores his/her partner by repeatedly being on their phones. Believe it or not, some people tend to get lost in their phones more than their partner on dates. This can make your partner feel left out, unwanted, or ignored. Phubbing often acts as a trigger that causes a fight between couples. To avoid this, make a no-phone rule for dates.

Constant Urge for Attention

Nowadays people do not need to wait for days for a letter. A text can be delivered instantly. Because of which people may need constant attention and this could lead to possible conflicts. It is important to give each space and time to each other. And it is of utmost importance to understand when your partner is busy and needs space for their work.

Commitment Concerns

Millennials have more share of problems settling in than the past generations. As there are several choices and a fake sense of perfection, people can easily have commitment and trust issues. For this, one needs to change the way they perceive things and act on a bond that is both strong and sturdy and leads to longevity.

Distractions

In the technology-laden generation, a person is surrounded by distractions all the time. Continuous notifications, social media interactions, a range of gaming options, and plenty of others. Modern life is simply so busy and full of distractions. It means that an individual is unable to dedicate time and effort to a relationship which is a necessity. One method to deal with this is to plan things together that you can do as a couple and do activities that you both like to do together.

Misunderstandings

Misunderstandings have often been part of any relationship. But the problem is nowadays, people mostly either text or send a DM. And to understand a partner’s emotion with just a few word-based texts is obviously harder if not impossible. Because of this, many misunderstandings crop up between couples. The only solution to avoid this is proper communication.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Your love is precious and not supposed for everyone. You need to be selective about who you fall for. Not everyone deserves it. There are a few really insensitive individuals who really do not care about other peoples’ feelings. Your feelings deserve respect. No one must be able to play with your feelings whenever they wish to.

You simply need to know how to avoid such sort of people and prevent all the pain or heartache.

Through this blog, Delhi’s Top Relationship Expert and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about some signs that indicate you are being used by your partner.

He Talks Only When the Day Finishes

He never calls or texts you throughout the day.  He does not wish to know how your day was. You would not have a trace of him/her in the entire day. You are his last resort prior to going to bed. He calls only when they know there is no one else he could play with. You are not allowed to call him whenever you want to but only when he calls you should answer. This should raise suspicions, shouldn’t it?

He is a Bit Too Generous with the Compliments

Now who does not want to feel good about themselves? All of you crave to listen to your partners complimenting you. It makes you feel very desirable and confident. However, beware if he feels a bit too much and comes up the entire time. This is a sure-shot way to understand that his intentions are not that great. He simply plays on you, to get the best out of you. It’s his way of distracting you from what his true intentions are.

You Were Never Introduced to His Friends

You will always remain a secret. If you really love each other, you will want to meet those people who know your partner the best. You will wish to get involved in a deeper way. If you have not ever met his friends, this means you are not important enough. It means you will never be ‘the one’, but will only remain a side option.

He Does Not Wish to be Seen in Public with You

He will make excuses to hide away from public appearances with you. He will make it a point to meet you at places that are almost deserted or within the confines of a four-walled room only. If they are really into you, wouldn’t he want to be with you wherever you wanted to? Would he be so secretive about you? You all know what dating inside a closed room ultimately leads to. If his idea of dates is confined to a room only all he needs is the physical body and nothing else.

He Will Never Reveal About Him

He is quite secretive about his lifestyle. He seldom shares his childhood stories or important events of his life with you. Do you even know anything beyond basic things about him? He is normally vague about his whereabouts. You never truly know where he is and what he is doing at any given point in time during the day. By keeping his personal details all to himself, he gives you a sign that he does not wish to make you an important part of his life. You will soon be ghosted or left wondering about why he chose to leave you.

He Checks Out on Other Women

A man who is truly into you will never wish to have his eyes for other women. If you see him constantly looking out at any random woman who passes by, if he then says you about what he likes about her, compares you; this man is not worthy. If he tells you that he likes you but he is repeatedly in the habit of bird watching straight in front of you; be aware that he can do a lot more behind your back.

Being used always hurts and if you wish to save yourself from all the heartache, move out of this so-called relationship as soon as you can whenever you spot these signs.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

While being in a relationship and never having a fight with your partner is virtually impossible. Constructive criticism or healthy arguments or fights help couples to sort out their problems and voice their pent-up emotions, thereby addressing those issues that can otherwise create havoc in a couple’s life. However, plenty of things depend on how a couple behaves post a fight and, specifically, how they break the awkward silence post their heated arguments.

So, here are a few tips being shared by Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo to start a conversation with your partner after a fight.

Send a Romantic Text

Well thanks to the technology, there are several ways to start a conversation these days. Specifically, if you are feeling too awkward to come face to face or talk with your spouse after a fight, you can always take the assistance of your phone to send him or her a sweet and romantic message. You can write about how much this relationship and your partner mean to you. But do not react or get angry if you do not get a response immediately to your message. Be happy that you made an effort to break the ice and that is really praiseworthy.

Give a Call

The next step post sending a message is to look for your phone and call your spouse, irrespective of whether he or she has responded to your message or not. The best manner to start the conversation is by exchanging pleasantries, although it will not be so easy to do that post an awkward silence following the fight. However, you must avoid playing the blame game as it will only aggravate the situation more.

Apologize

No matter how serious a fight could be, an apology can do magic to repair the damage it may have caused to your relationship. It is always wise to stand up to your mistakes and saying sorry is the best method to start a conversation with your partner. Remember, merely apologizing is not sufficient if you do not mean it. It would be a nice gesture if you could furnish the apology with a token of love, may a gift or chocolates and even a handwritten note can brighten up your partner’s mood after that ugly fight.

Plan an Outing

You all must have felt at times how your environment is saturated by your emotions, for instance, post a fight it is not surprising to feel as if the whole horizon is filled with negativity. It is quite normal. So, a change in the scene could be helpful if you wish to initiate talks after a lovers’ tiff. How about planning a date or dinner at your favorite eating joint?

The Tried and Tested Way of Starting Afresh the Next Day

At times, perhaps doing things the traditional way could be a big transformation. You can try sorting the differences by using some old tricks. How about starting afresh the next day? Treat a new day as a fresh start and approach it as you would otherwise do when you do not fight with your spouse. Maybe, prepare your beloved’s favorite dish for breakfast and kick start the day with a warm and hearty good morning.

Take Help

The silence between partners is more damaging than fights. Sometimes, couples build such impregnable walls between them that it becomes literally impossible to get over those to offer the olive branch to your partner. Under such situations, it is always wise to take help from a reliable and trustworthy person or a professional counselor if these things are repeated patterns. To break the ice or, in this case, the stubborn wall of silence. Taking the help of a marriage counselor can also help couples address their issues and encourage them to talk about problems that they otherwise keep under the carpet.

The Two Fs

Perhaps the best one and is mostly done by couples who have really long relationships. This is the best mantra for a successful reconciliation post a fight—forgive and forget i.e., the two Fs. If you wish to pick up the threads of a relationship post a quarrel with your spouse, first you need to learn to forgive and forget. And only when you do that, you can help each other to get past your differences and bolster the relationship. Also, it becomes easy to talk to a partner when you have forgiven him or her, right? But you should also remember to forgive yourself because sometimes you are so engulfed in self-guilt and pity post a fight that it becomes next to impossible to pour your heart out after that incident.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

It takes Two to Tango, as the saying goes. This perfectly fits the bill for a relationship to flourish. A relationship is a journey where two individuals need to live and grow in sync.

Marriage Counselor Shivani says a one-sided relationship has dire consequences for your emotional and even physical health. Once you are in one, it is very difficult to feel emotionally secure. You are constantly trying to make the relationship something that it could never be.

This conflict makes pave for stress, and stress hormones cause physical side effects including anxiety, depression, difficulty sleeping, hypervigilance, irritability and overall feeling internally keyed up. One-sided relationships take a huge toll, and yet mostly continue far longer than they ought to be.

In this blog, India’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo is saying to take a moment to think if your relationship is one-sided and, if yes, look to overcome this pattern by trying out the things given below.

Counselor Shivani says here are some of the signs that indicate your relationship is one-sided

·       You never feel safe within the relationship.

·       You over-analyze and second-guess your partner’s real motives.

·       You always feel you are lacking in some way.

·       You always initiate deepening the relationship, to no avail.

·       You do not share your real feelings with your partner.

·       You feel empty post your interactions.

·       You do the entire work to maintain the relationship.

·       You believe you have already invested excessively in the relationship that you have to make it to keep alive and cannot leave.

·       You feel that your relationship is a house of cards.

·       You feel that your self-esteem depends as long as the relationship lasts.

·       You do not feel genuinely known by your partner.

·       You make excuses for your partner.

·       You are fearful of upsetting your partner or of causing conflict.

·       You settle for small bursts of connection although you crave more intimacy from your partner.

·       You worry about the time you will see or talk to your partner again.

·       You are always distracted by your relationship dynamics and hence, cannot focus on other dimensions of your life or be present in them.

·       You enjoy moments with your partner, but once the interaction is over, you feel alone and lonely.

·       You are not growing as an individual.

·       You are not genuine with your partner because you look to ensure he/she stays happy with you.

·       If you express yourself, your spouse turns the tables on you and you end up with a feeling that you are the cause of the entire problem in your relationship.

Counselor Shivani says if you identify or feel familiar with more of these signs then you would like, begin undoing the pattern by attempting this exercise. Ask yourself the given questions and be brutally honest with yourself:

·       How many times have you repeated this pattern of one-sided relationships in your life?

·       Did you ever have a one-sided relationship with a parent/friend/caregiver while growing up (in which it was always more about those than it was about you)?

·       Can you see a relationship in which your needs were met, and how well that felt to you, or imagine how that may feel if you were in one?

·       What keeps you acting so hard and not allowing go or moving onto something more emotionally fulfilling?

·       If you are working to feel secure and complete, look for if there is another way to get these very normal basic needs met.

·       If you were to call off the relationship, how would you fill the void in a manner that would be deeper and more fulfilling for you?

·       Are you working to without availing on something that drains out your energy and resources without much or any payoff for you?

·       Do one-sided relationships show your lack of self-esteem? Are you coupling with individuals or people who keep you stuck not feeling so great about yourself?

·       What could you do that will provide more and fill your part more than this relationship?

·       Can you begin to identify when you are overworking in the relationship and rather step back and let it go?

It may sound bitter or uncomfortable. But uncoupling from one-sided relationships demands work but it is possible. The initial step is to recognize that you are in one. The next is to start considering other methods you can feel good about yourself and what you need, separate from your relationship, to have a pleasant life.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

When you are in a relationship, it is quite easy to shift all the blame on your partner even if you know it is not completely their fault. After all, nobody ever truly wants to be wrong. But when you are in a relationship, it is essential to sacrifice being correct for the good of the relationship. If you don’t, marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says the blame game can damage your relationship.

Blaming, specifically the constant blaming is a quite unhealthy communication style and mostly leads to one fighting unfairly and bringing in the past into the present arguments.

Playing the blame game is quite common. But that does not make it healthy. In fact, relationship expert Shivani says blaming is never a positive thing and is generally a sign of an unhealthy relationship dynamic. This can vary from everyday things to major things. More often than not, it is not about the ‘what’ you are blamed for, but rather the ‘why’ you are being blamed or needing to blame. For example, if one partner has a difficult time owning up to their mistakes, he/she will push the accountability on someone else.

Nothing positive can ever really come out of blaming your other half. So in this blog, India’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo say what you can do to stop the blame game from sabotaging your relationship.

Identify When You Are Being Blamed And Discuss It

If one of you feels like you are being blamed for something, bring this up. Reach to the root of why your spouse is making you feel like you have done something wrong. Make it known and grab it as soon as possible. When left unattended, it can start to become a pattern in the relationship that is seen as normal. Patterns of blaming could lead to unhealthy and potentially toxic relationship styles. To prevent getting stuck in a blame game cycle, never call your partner out on it. Use “I” statements rather, such as “I feel like you are blaming me for something and I need to understand why.

Always Remind Yourself That Your Partner Is Not You

Sometimes all it takes is a small shift in mindset. Accepting that your partner is distinct from you can be an essential reframing. So always remind yourself, your partner is different, not necessarily wrong. Then, have a calm discussion in an attempt to understand where your partner is coming from. If you don’t, it’s normal to end the discussion by agreeing to disagree.

Talk Honestly About Your Expectations

When couples find themselves engulfed in the blame game, it is mostly because they and/or their spouse have implicit expectations about specific things that must be happening in the relationship or the manner that their partner must or must not be behaving. It is essential to remember that your partner is not a mind reader. They may assume to know what you need, but they won’t ever really know unless you openly let them know. Recognizing what these expectations are, and voicing them to your partner is crucial in breaking this pattern. A conversation about the expectations can help to put the blame game on the backtrack.

Active Listening

Be open, curious, and truly listen to your partner. As difficult as it might be, do not say anything while your partner shares their side of the story. If you provide them an opportunity to speak and actually listen to what they are saying, you can avoid a big argument.

Practice Gratitude

The antidote to criticism and blaming is to opt to focus on enjoying each other more. When everything’s annoying, that is a litmus test that is telling you are not focusing enough on positive input. So, practice gratitude. Think about all the various things you love about your partner every day and express your appreciation. When you continuously see your partner in a good light, you are less possibly to blame, criticize, or lash out in hurtful ways.

Know That You Cannot Control How Your Partner Reacts, But You Can Control Yourself

The simplest way to get stuck playing the blame game is to keep throwing accusations to and fro. While you cannot control what your partner says or does, but you can control yourself. It’s essential to remember that you are still individuals, two individuals who together make up one couple. You still have the right to speak up, shift away from a situation that you do not like, or simply leave altogether.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

You will also have various kinds of relationships with several people throughout your lives. Each of them can bring something unique, whether it is good or bad. Relationships with partner, family, friends, and colleagues will add to your life’s rich tapestry of experiences.

However, when you are living alone there is one key relationship that matters more than any other in your life. This is the relationship that you have with yourself.

This blog by India’s top Relationship Expert and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo revolves around the reasons why the most vital relationship in the one you have with yourself.

It is a Lifelong Relationship

The relationship you have with yourself is the sole one that you can be completely sure will last as long as you do, so it is essential to get it right. Though there are possibly to be some bumps along the road, this is a journey that you will always be undertaking with yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company and be gentle to yourself.

Knowing Yourself is Important

Understanding your own strengths and weaknesses can assist you to make the correct decisions in life. It is important to take that time to get to know yourself so that you understand your real dreams, worries, and abilities. This might mean giving more time for daily reflection which could assist you to feel more driven and confident and equally feel more certain about who you are.

Being Selfish can be Beneficial

You all need to prioritize yourself at least some of the time. Valuing the relationship, you have with yourself will let you do what is right for you rather than always placing other people first. You must place as much importance on the relationship you have with yourself as you do on those with your closest friends. You should therefore be ready to invest just as much time and effort into it, even if it means taking time out for yourself every now and then.

Its What you Do that Matters

The worthiest things in life are not the things that you own, but the things you spend your time doing. Investing in yourself by learning and developing new skills, practicing your favorite hobby, making something, or simply putting in some effort into a big project is what will make you most fulfilled. The happiest moments are usually in the middle of a big challenge or when you have achieved something that counts.

Being Independent is Important

Being able to depend upon yourself is important, specifically when you are living alone. You need to develop the skills that will enable you to be self-sufficient, not only in practical matters but in emotional ones as well. Learning to trust yourself more, is one of the most critical results of forming a strong relationship with yourself. It can help you to feel stronger, braver, and more capable.

It is Good for Your Mental and Physical Health

Mental health is also as important as your physical wellbeing. When you are living alone and having a good attitude and understanding towards yourself can be very advantageous for your mental health and emotional wellbeing. You will be better at handling the negative emotions and more aware of any signs of mental health issues. Having better self-awareness and knowledge to understand what in life makes you happy, sad, content, satisfied, and subsequently making changes in your life and allotting priorities accordingly will bring positive outcomes to how you feel every day.

Being familiar with your own body is essential for your health. You need to develop a good relationship with your body in an attempt to keep them healthy and to be able to recognize any signs of trouble. Forming a better relationship with yourself can help you to eat better, avail more sleep, and remain fit and healthy.

Other’s Opinion is Just that

Even though listening to other people is and could be important, your own opinions are what actually matters most. You must value your own judgment and not allow yourself to be swayed too much by other people. Simply because someone thinks that your routine or work is uninteresting or your style is out of date, it does not mean that you have to agree. They are welcome for their opinions, but be sure about sticking to your own. Your self-esteem is mostly linked to what other people think of you, or at least what you perceive others think of you.  Thus, it is important to feel comfortable in your own skin, having your own judgments, and with your own set of likes and dislikes helping you to shape who you are.

You are the Truly One Who Actually Understand Yourself

Every individual is a bit complex, unique, and changeable, which means that it can be difficult for even the closest to you to understand completely, who you are. The person who is best positioned to understand you is yourself and you are the sole one who can do this. You can be your own most sympathetic ally because you are the one who has the ability to understand your feelings and intentions best.

It Will Eventually Impact Your Relationship with Others

When you live alone, having a good relationship with yourself could make a huge difference in the manner you interact with other people. Understanding your own emotions will help you to empathize with others. Being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses can make it easier to forgive other people for theirs. Nobody is an island and people living alone mostly have strong relationships with the people around them. The way you feel about yourself can decide how kindly you treat other people, whether you are close to that person or not.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

It appears that for so many amongst you have become occupied by those almost great loves. The kind of relationships that are difficult to walk away from because it is almost correct; you are almost there, we have almost made it, or even, you are almost in love. So how do you know when is the correct time to walk away from a relationship?

Counselor Shivani says that the truth you struggle with and fight because there is a part of you that wishes you could make it different than it is. Sometimes the years go, and you suddenly find yourself in the situation of how to know if this is time to walk away for good.

See, the Bitter Truth is that Sometimes You End Up Marry Your “Almost”

At times it is your almost that you settle for, you barter happiness in lieu of getting what you want or what you think you need without realizing that sometimes you are meant to give up. Love is not always of the same quantity, and while not getting what you want can end up becoming the greatest blessing, the truth is this lesson often requires to be learned the difficult way. Irrespective of whether you have spent a few months/years dating someone or married over a decade, there are certain telltale signs that suggest this is time to give up and walk away.

The thing with love or at least the form of love that so many of you are looking for is that it would not arrive until you make room for it.

Through this blog, Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about when is the correct time to walk away from a relationship?

Here they are.

You have Gone from Cherishing to Enduring

You have this belief that no one remains in crazy passionate love forever, yet this is just a lie told by those to make themselves feel more comfortable regarding their own choices. The reality is that while the honeymoon stage of a relationship can go away, the honeymoon feelings can long last if the spark between two individuals is based on more than the initial underlying attraction. If you see yourself tolerating quirks, habits or even the choices of your partner rather than adoring them for who they are then this is the first sign that you are falling out of love with your partner, or that you already have.

You Try Yourself Compromising Your Happiness to Keep it Alive

Love needs compromise, there is no doubt about this, but it must not be to the extent that your happiness starts to suffer because of it. If you find yourself cutting away those activities or even people that you earlier enjoyed or that used to make up a part of you to somehow cause the relationship alive then the truth is the relationship is already over.

The sort of a relationship that inspires us to become more ourselves and to grow will never really need you to give up those important parts of who you are to do so. As an adult, you know that you rarely get your way, or least tell yourself that in an attempt to justify why you aren’t happy. In love, you sometimes think that it’s fine to have to change parts of yourself to have that relationship.

You Look at Love and Intimacy as a Chore

While you all have various levels and preferences of getting intimate if physical intimacy with your partner has become as a dutiful and monotonous routine just like emptying the clothes from the washing machine and just as fast then it is time to begin looking at why. Sex is an important indicator for your relationship, and as long as you don’t buy into the false pattern that after some amount of time none of you and your partner care about sex, then it will keep being a vital part of your relationship.

Whether you have been dating for a few months/years or you are some months post-partum sex matters, and not simply because of climax but because of the essence of grounding the relationship in physical intimacy. If you see yourself passing during physical intimacy more often than it perhaps is time to have a look at why you are physically pushing your partner away.

Your Romantic Relationships Reflects Where You Each Are at in Your Own Lives

If you have difficulty believing you are deserving of love, then you will end up pursuing someone whom it looks like you are begging for love from. If you lack self-confidence, then you will attract someone who will make you feel like less than yourself. Likewise, if you are self-secure and committed to learning about yourself, then you will draw someone mutually curious and respectful.

Life is all about growing and expanding so, this is the purpose of your relationships. No one wants a relationship to finish, whether it is because you have been on a few fun dates or because you share a child with someone. Mostly the moment you consider if you should give up and walk away is the moment you already have. You would be doomed in love because of a few failed relationships. But you will be if you do not believe that you deserve better.

You See Yourself Crying More Often Than Smiling

It might appear like an obvious one, but it appears that sometimes when you are in relationships so deep, you become more obsessed with making it happen than actually stepping back and stopping to consider if you even should. No relationship is perfect every time, but there must be more good times than bad.

There must be more times that make you smile than bringing tears, anxiety, arguments, and even apathy. If you see yourself busy on your phone, creating social media updates rather than cuddling watching a movie, or surprise your lover it could be time to stop and begin considering why. Not every relationship has to last, and in truth, the majority of your relationships do not, but they can teach you something, not about love but yourself as well.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.