Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

According to Marriage and Family Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

In this time of pandemic going or meeting someone is a big challenge. Specifically, when there is a constant threat of getting infected from COVID-19. But, in spite of this life goes on and the certain things that used to bother you on pre-COVID days they still bother you and relationship issues between a husband and wife is one such thing.

This pandemic has seen a lot of changes and marriage counseling is no different either. Marriage counseling from the traditional face to face counseling has got another alternative and that is Online Marriage Counseling. The dynamics remain the same but only the mode of marriage counseling has changed.

Eminent Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says if you and your partner have been contemplating couples therapy, then you are in good company. Almost all couples can stand to benefit from online counseling. Online couples therapy can assist couples understand their relationship patterns, dysfunctional coping technic, communication issues, and personality differences. Unlike what most people assume that online marriage counseling, will not work the same way as a face to face counseling or is not just for those who are struggling with problems in their relationship. Then this is a wrong notion to carry around as online couples therapy is equally effective and useful.

Thought you cannot meet physically with a couple’s therapist during this time, you can book online couples therapy appointments, also known as teletherapy. As long as your therapist makes sure that the sessions are confidential and that all precautions are taken for the client’s protection, both video, and home sessions can be equally effective as in-person sessions. Clients are given tools and homework assignments to support them navigate through their process and, if done properly, there should be no hindrances to the client’s progress during this time

In this blog, India’s leading Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo broadly tells about the benefits, you can avail from online marriage counseling.

Here they are.

The Home Advantage

Every online couple therapist knows how helpful it can be for a client’s remedy when they perform a visit, which usually, takes place in the client’s home rather than the therapist’s office. As a counselor, it gives an opportunity to really get a deeper glance at what things are like in the household.  With teletherapy, you are already home. “In their own home environment, couples tend to show more transparency to the therapist.

With online couples’ therapy, this process is fast-tracked because the clients are already present in the comforts of their home where they will do most of their practice.

Without Feeling Exposed, You Get an Exposure to the Therapy

Perhaps the thought of going into a marriage counselors’ office makes you uncomfortable. It is perfectly OK! Online marital therapy removes this hurdle while still giving you useful tactics to improve your relationship. Couples who are afraid of getting exposed to therapy through a screen is a great alternative to the therapeutic process.

Able to Have a Stronger Emotional Bond

It is not comfortable for most people to open up and feel vulnerable, even with their own partner. But when the fundamental love or attachment bond is strong between partners, they are more adaptable of weathering storms together. Methods such as Emotionally Focused Therapy can help couples to understand each other’s attachment patterns and triggers so they can better understand each other and see their negative pattern as the enemy and not the individual. Then, they can be vulnerable with each other and connect in confidently rather than attacking or ridiculing each other and destroying the bond.

Learn to Communicate More Effectively

One of the finest useful tools, you will learn in both online and face to face couples therapy is how to understand your partner well and how to get your partner to understand and know you better. The best method to do this is through verbal communication. Plenty of conflicts begins when one partner says, “You are so insensitive and mean!’ which makes the other partner put up his/her defenses for safety. A helpful approach that is mostly recommended is to practice interchanging ‘you’ statements with ‘I’ statements, or telling the partner how you are feeling rather than telling them how they are behaving.

You Learn to Set the Boundaries

Probabilities are, you are not accustomed to spending every waking second with your partner, but this is likely become your reality provided the stay-at-home orders. It can be comfortable to feel on the defense with your partner, who could be getting on your last nerve at this stage. Online couples therapy can assist ease the tension by letting you know how to set boundaries and maintain a healthy balance of harmony, unity, and separateness. Boundaries can aid couples to avoid codependency and maintain respect for each other and the overall relationship.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

You might have seen that a person all of a sudden asks you a particular thing about which only you know, yet that person ends up asking regarding that thing. At that point, you may be wondering how come he/she came to know about it. Well, this is one of the qualities of an empath person. It is certain that many of you have heard people refer to their partners to others as empaths, specifically with the surge in these sorts of spiritual practices and beliefs becoming more prominent. For those of you who do not know, an empath is someone who can feel and experience the emotions of people and other beings around them as if they were the Empath’s own.

Empathic persons are also known for being sensitive towards the paranormal, physical pain, and sensations of others, and also who are highly sensitive to their own emotions and physical sensations, amongst several things. Many individuals claims to be an empath, but the number of people who are genuine empaths is quite smaller in number.

In this blog, India’s leading psychologist and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about the signs, you are in a relationship with an empathetic person.

He/She Experiences Anxiety, Depression, Mood Swings or Other Psychological Phenomena

Empath individual is known for his/her defining feature, being able to feel and experience the emotions of others. Empaths can, in simple terms, put themselves in other people’s shoes with great intensity. Empaths, such as shamans, are well known to absorb illnesses and negativity from people around them. Sadly, shamans are better able to deflect unwarranted energies than most empaths.

They Often Get Sick and Experience Chronic Illnesses

Empaths are quite capable of deflecting negative energies rather than soaking them, but many empaths are not aware of their gift or simply do not know how to manage it properly. Watch out if your partner is having the same issue.

They are Known for Having Intense and Turbulent Emotions

This is actually not a bad thing. In fact, it can be a quite wonderful thing at times. Your partner experience love and happiness in such large quantities that it brings about intense euphoria and peace. Intimacy can also be extremely fulfilling and intense, specifically if your partner loves you when you are with him.

But they also experience sadness, anger, and guilt at extremes too. Sadness could feel soul-crushing, guilt all-consuming, anger becomes explosive. The worst part is that sometimes these emotions aren’t even their own.

They Feel Connected to Nature and Animals

Not be an adage, but this is a huge sign. Your partner does not need to be a full-blown nature fanatic to feel the connection. They can feel the life given off by everything, like the grass, flowers, trees, animals who inhabit the whole earth with us. They can feel the vibrations of the seasonal change too besides they appreciate it all.

Children and Animals Gravitate Towards Them

Do animals or children seem to stare at your partner for no apparent reason? They may be seeing something most of you cannot—the aura. An aura is the energy field. It reflects the true personality and emotions with colors. Animals and children are supposedly more sensitive to such elements, for that reason they may be seeing the biggest giveaway to the person’s true intentions (the aura, in case the wasn’t obvious). We already have seen that children can tell if a person is good or bad, but how do they do it? Well, this is up for you to decide. The bottom line is they know certain things about the person is special, so they gravitate towards them.

They Can Read Others Like a Book

They have a naturally heightened intuition that serves them well in many ways, especially when it comes to reading people. They are an expert at reading people’s intentions and judging their character. It is hard to go by their intuition at times, especially when first meeting someone or when asking for someone’s opinion on their gut feelings, but they have this intuition for a reason. It might not be right every time, but it is the right majority of the time.

He/She is a Very Thoughtful

They care deeply about what they say and do because they understand the consequences their actions could have on those around you, even indirectly. They may even overanalyze everything and worry excessively about what kind of mark he/she is leaving on the world. It’s vital for them to stay self-aware and mindful of their actions to avoid hurting themselves or others, but it’s also important for them to stay genuine and not let their fear of what others think of them controlling his/her life.

All of the above-mentioned signs are good enough to let you know that your partner is an empath or not.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

The coronavirus has resulted in excessive stress, anxiety and fear among society and these are critical emotional triggers has further worsened people’s emotional health, leading to a rise in mental health issues, relationship problems, suicidal tendencies and more.

On the other hand, due to the current pandemic that demands social distancing has resulted in in-person sessions in all professional healthcare industry – extremely risky for both the healthcare professionals and for the clients.

Question: Then how the leading professional healthcare institutions are meeting the rising demand for effective therapy?

The answer is adopting the digitalization of counselling sessions. Talking on this issue, India’s leading relationship expert and marriage counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares, “resuming normal life is incredibly appealing, especially for psychotherapy. But mid-pandemic in-person psychotherapy may not be such a good solution, especially when people have options and access to video conferences through their mobile and laptops.”

Counselor Shivani adds, “for almost everyone today, video or audio-based telehealth has become a better choice than meeting in-person behind masks, screens, face shields, disinfectants, physical distance, ventilation, symptom monitoring, contact tracing, etc.”

Question: is online counselling are as good as in-person counselling?

A decade back, online video interactions were not effective, when internet speed was largely poor, therapy has often been disdainful of telehealth, opposed to “warm” psychotherapy work performed via a “cold” screen. Its resistance to the concept has changed little over the years.

A recent scientific study was done by the American Psychiatric Association suggests that online therapy today works just as well as traditional face-to-face therapy. Studies, looking at outcomes for clients and the quality of their relationships with therapists, found them equal across telehealth and in-person conditions. Since this meta-analysis (92 studies and 9,000 clients), many other studies have confirmed the value of teletherapy.

The study further states that today’s clients are receptive to telehealth counselling because it involves no driving to an appointment, no searching for a parking space, no worries about childcare while they’re away, no need to switch providers if they move, and no problem if the specialist happens to be far away.

The second biggest advantage that online counselling holds over in-person counselling is that online therapy opens the door for clients who are located in geographically in different places, cities, countries and would find extremely difficult to travel a long distance to attain counselling sessions.

In the current COVID-19 situation, Saarthi Counselling Services prioritise your and your loved one’s safety first, hence counselling session mode with Counselor Shivani has been digitalized. So, you and your partner can have your dedication sessions directly with counsellor Shivani, within the safety and comfort of your home. The advantage of online counselling directly with Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo are :-

Advantages of Online Counselling vs Face-to-face counselling?

The Face to Face online therapy with Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo works exactly like face-to-face therapy. In parallel with the massive use of technology in our daily lives, mental health support has been recently delivered in non-traditional ways, other than the classic face-to-face offline approach. The Face to face video calls with you and your partner are being used as the means to deliver therapy.

The sessions work exactly like face-to-face therapy in terms of duration, frequency, confidentiality and how therapy is held.

Convenience for Attaining Session

Online therapy is convenient since you will be attending therapy sessions online in the comfort of your own home, you can often schedule your therapy sessions for times that are the most convenient for you.

Social stigma

Online counselling may also be effective in eliminating the social stigma associated with receiving therapy. For those who are uncomfortable with receiving therapy, online counselling allows access to such services in private without having to visit the counselling centre.

Counselling can take on a whole different image when executed by the client in their own home through the computer. It may also allow the client to feel less stigmatised without having to be seen by others in the waiting room, the administrative staff or any other person who just happens to be walking past at the time the client walks through the door.

In the past 4-5 months, a large percentage of the population has complained of sleeplessness, frequent migraine, headaches, body aches, lack of motivation, poor attention level etc. Many people are fighting against these odds while some are trying to accept it by telling themselves it’s natural to have poor sleep, fatigue, lack of interest etc during the pandemic and we can do nothing about it.

According to India’s leading psychologist and relationship counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo poor sleep, frequent migraine, and fatigue could be the signs of burnout – and it’s a serious issue.

Counselor Shivani adds that burnout is a state of mental and physical exhaustion that weakens a person’s social and personal capacity to work on a day to day basis. Burnout can also be defined as severe stress conditions.

Unlike cold and fever, burnout does not happen in a single day, generally, it’s a result of prolonged stress levels. Commonly people ignore burnout in its initial stages, as they may perceive it as harmless and manageable. But in later stages, burnout can cause adverse mental and physical damage.

To identify burnout there are some of its common signs: –

1.       Chronic fatigue. 

Burnout starts with the feeling of tiredness in your day to day activity. Gradually the tiredness converts into physical and emotional exhaustion and frequent feeling of drained and depleted of life energy.

2.       Sleeping issues

At the beginning of burnout, symptoms start with the difficulty of falling asleep, then staying asleep half, one or two nights a week. In the latter stages, insomnia may turn into a persistent, nightly ordeal; as exhausted as you are, you can’t sleep.

3.       Loss of Focus and Concentration

Lack of focus and mild forgetfulness are early signs. Later, the problems may get to the point where you can’t get your work done and everything begins to pile up.

4.       Physical symptoms. 

Physical symptoms may include chest pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, gastrointestinal pain, dizziness, headaches (all of which should be medically assessed).

5.       Frequently falling ill. 

Since the normal body’s life energy is depleted, the immune system starts to weaken and that makes the body vulnerable to infections, colds, and other immune-related medical problems.

6.       Anxiety

In the beginning, burnout may show mild symptoms of tension but as you go to the later stages of burnout, the anxiety can turn extreme.

7.       Depression

Burnout starts with mild sadness and occasionally hopeless feelings but with times people may display extreme depression signs.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Pandemic and Lockdowns May Trigger Helicopter Parenting in Many Homes – Warns Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

The current pandemic and its lockdowns have changed family routines like never before. Parents who could hardly catch up with their kids in past, are now staying 24×7 at home. For the kids, there is no more going to schools, day-care, and coaching centres. This sudden change has offered many families to rediscover their family bonds and at the same time, this change is also creating some new difficulties – and one such problem is the “emergence of helicopter parenting”.

Helicopter parenting is a term used to describe a kind of over-parenting. It involves excessive levels of involvement and control by parents in their children’s lives. A motivation for this parenting style is driven by the parents’ worry that their child might come to harm or not flourish. Earlier helicopter parenting was limited to single-working parents’ situations, but now a large number of parents are doing work from home and hence getting all the time to interact, focus, and worry for the kids.

No doubt, parental involvement in a child’s life is extremely beneficial, but only if it is developmentally appropriate. A child needs to experience failure and she/he should learn from their mistakes through trial and error. Unfortunately, the over-involvement of parents can limit the children’s ability to engage in this opportunity, and research suggests that helicopter parenting can even stunt a child’s cognitive and emotional development.

In this article, Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some of the warning signs of helicopter parenting:

• Your child has completed his/her school assignment but you are rewriting the assignment at 12 midnight because you know that it could have been done better.
• Your child should be helping you in daily chores – cleaning the floor, and washing clothes and dishes in the absence of your maid, never comes to you.
• You get heart palpitations at the thought of letting your child go and talk and chat over online platforms. Even though it was the case earlier also, since, you are spending all the time at home, as a result, you are becoming more bothered by the same.
• In an online PTM when the teacher asks your child the question, you answer them.
• While playing indoor games if there is a point of decision-making for your child, he/she looks puzzled and searches for you to make the decision.

You have just turned 30 or even are of more than 30 and you are still single, whereas, all of your friends and colleagues are married, engaged, or are already committed and dating someone. Even though you are happy, confident, and have an active social life, but you are slowly or rapidly starting to worry that there is not anyone out there for you. The situation can become worse and tricky more so when you also end up countering questions be it from your family, relatives or friends when are you going to get married or even seeking out for a steady relationship.

Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo says these kind of thoughts or questions are at times good enough to suddenly rattle your mind and you start to question yourself regarding your own abilities and it reaches a point when you also look to seek validation from others by asking questions like “Am I good enough” or “Is there something lacking in me” and several other questions.

Today in this blog Delhi’s eminent Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells how can you continue to date in hopes of finding a good and stable relationship without appearing desperate.

Here, are few ways that will help you how to stop the feeling of desperation when you are single?

To Start with the Benefits of Being Single

Every place you see, from movies to magazines, you are mostly told that being in a relationship equals being happy. The good news! That’s 100% not correct.

You have probably heard it earlier, but the only way to put your finest self out there is to first get comfortable with yourself and your alone or me time.

Rather than focusing on what you do not have, think about what is great about you and your life currently. Being single has numerous perks. Taking sudden road trips and being the driver of your own life and destiny

Whenever you feeling sad or desperate, always remember those good points. It will take some time and practice, but almost every negative thought about being single can be switched to a good one.

What is more based on life various life experiences discovered that finding love is not about wearing the proper outfit, going to the best restaurant for a first date, or waiting 5 days after that date to text. It is about looking inside you and asking yourself 2 major questions.

What Parts of Life Matters to Me?

Once you have thought and identified about the following 6 areas of your life, you will have better clarity of what you are all about, which will also assist you to identify compatibilities in a potential partner.

• Money

• Faith

• Family

• Lifestyle

• Profession

• Health

How do you see each core area? Where do your values, priorities, and goals of life are places? Are you happy and satisfied with your priorities, or do you need any of them to change?

Next, ask yourself which 2 aspects stand out the most in terms of how you want to spend your life in the future. Remember that there are no correct or incorrect answers here, or opinions.

From that list, you may end up being attracted to someone who appears nothing like what you thought was your “kind”. It has been found that partners who share beliefs about those values are more likely to stay together over the longer course.

Remember, a couple can share all-important life values even when they have contrasting interests and hobbies, and even when they are of 2 different races, religions, or have quite a dissimilar social background.

What is that I Need or Want in a Partner?

Do you actually know how the right person would look like if you meet them today? The majority of the people do not take out time to think about what they want in a romantic relationship. In an attempt to open yourself up to a connection and not feeling desperate, decide exactly what you need or want in your partner.

Defining that person, you want to be with is a bit like making a list before you head to the store. It streamlines the procedure, keeps you away from making random or desperate selections, and prevents you from wasting time and also money, the last thing you want at the store or even in dating.

Get yourself a piece of paper and divide it into 2 columns. On the left, list a minimum of 5 must-have qualities that you require in a partner. Do that person’s age and appearance matter? What about personality traits? Would you prefer someone sensitive, inquisitive, easygoing, adventurous, or street smart?

In the right column, list another 5 deal-breakers. Maybe it is like drinking or smoking cigarettes, being in a financial problem, having terrible behavior, or usually, being closed-minded. These are the 5 things that, as good as you try, you simply cannot tolerate or allow in a partner.

When you meet a new person, this list will become a handy tool. It will remind you to ensure your needs are being met. Rather than worrying about what your date thinks about you, as you may have done before, your list will assist you to determine if that person could fit into the future you envision.

Key Thing

In the end, by understanding knowing yourself and what matters to you both in life and in a partner, you will feel far less desperate and anxious. When you move around with a positive attitude, you will find the right person for you. Please be assured they are out there.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counselor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Be it arrange marriage scenario or online dating, sometimes a girl meets a man who seems too much in a hurry to let the relationship happen. Such men may talk about planning children, ask for physical intimacy even before knowing you properly.

They never seem bothered or willing to understand what a woman feels about them. Surely, they are a real turn off for every woman, but if you are confused if you are making the right decision or not, Delhi’s eminent Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares fours signs to identify if the man is needy and desperate.

Repeated Sweet Talker

After the first date, this man will talk sweet, but ‘every time’. Yes, this is the first sign that he simply cannot do without you ever. If post the first few dates, a man is repeatedly texting you throughout the day, explaining to you that he is busy thinking about you, imagining his life with you, and is more than eager to meet you every now and then ( makes you feel embarrassed outside your workplace with gifts or bunch of flowers), well, actually he is way too desperate and clingy. Think about it, either the man is simply trying to get hooked on, or he is desperately in need of a woman.

I Need You Too

He wants to be with you even when you are with your friends. Which person does not like a small gathering time with friends, without their partner? But what when your man is more than willing and adamant to be a part of your girl gang, even when he is uninvited. Just think what you would ever feel if your friend brings along her date when your girl group is having that bonding time. Won’t you think, he cannot even leave her alone for once.

Looking to do Things Faster

Has he initiated talks about the future like sex, moving in, marriage, children, and finances all too soon? Actually, there he is, this man wants it all at once and instantly, actually, he falls in the category “needs it now”. He needs you to the extent of not trying or thinking to even wait for you to think about them or time to pass before he even understands you better.

No More with Friends

Does he look to stay away from friends for you? Initially, it probably sounds really wonderful about him. After all who does not like a man who prioritizes his date over his friends. But if he is the type who cancels every single plan with his friend only for you, that’s an alarm that the man is Mr. Needy. Come to think of it, he is about to create a relationship with you where he has convinced you he is fine with lying all day on that couch with you rather than being with his friends when he is supposed to do so (always, that is). And soon, he will ask you to do the same.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Gaslighting is a way in which an individual or entity, to gain more power, makes a victim question their reality. It works way better than you might think. Any individual is prone to gaslighting, and it is a common tactic of dictators, narcissists, and cult leaders. It is done steadily, so the victim never realises how heavily they have been brainwashed. Leading relationship counsellor and marriage therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the warning signs of gaslighting.

They Tell Outright Lies

You know this is a blatant lie. Yet they are telling you the lie with a straight face. Why are they so blatant? Because they are setting up a precedent. Once they tell you a big lie, you are unsure if anything they say is real. Keeping you unsteady and off-kilter is the goal.

They Instantly Deny They Ever Said Anything

You know he said he would do something, you know he told it. But they downright deny it. It makes you doubt, questioning your reality, maybe they never said that thing. And the more they do it, the more you question yourself and start accepting theirs.

They Wear You Over a Period of Time

This is one of the subtle things about gaslighting: it is done steadily, over time. A lie here and there a snide comment quite often and then it begins ramping up. Even the smartest, most self-aware person can be sucked into gaslighting; it is that powerful. It is the frog in the frying pan analogy. The heat is turned up gradually, so the frog never fails to realise what is happening to it.

Whatever is Near or Dear to You, They Use it as a Tool

They know how important your kids or friends are to you, and they know how dearer your identity is to you. So those may be one of the initial things they attack. If you have kids, they will tell you that you should not have had those kids. They will tell you will be a worthy person if only you did not have a long list of negative qualities. They attack the base of your being.

Their Words and Actions Differ

When one is dealing with an individual or entity that gaslights, look for what they are doing irrespective of what they are saying. What they are saying means nothing it is plain talk. What they are doing is a concern.

They Tell You, Everyone, You Know is a Liar

By constantly telling you that everyone you know is a liar, it again makes you doubt your reality. You have never known someone with the ability to do this, so they must be telling the truth, correct? No. It is a manipulation tactic. It makes people turn to the gaslighter for the “right” information, which is not the right information at all.

Your Relationship Counsellor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

Feel free to call relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Do you usually feel tired after waking up and frequently miss quality sleep? Even though you are not using gadgets in your bed and lately, you consume less caffeine at night, and generally go to your bed on time. Then it’s time you take a careful look at your bedroom, as Marriage and Family Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests that your bedroom condition can impact your sleep quality in many ways: –

Avoid Clutter

A cloth-stand with laundry clothes in your bedroom, toys spread on your dressing table, a corner tool covered with few cloths – has the potential to affect your sleep quality. Yes, the research has identified that clutter in your bedroom can subconsciously increase your stress and anxiety, and a cleaner, more organized room tends to create a sense of peace.

Be careful with wall colours 

We generally perceive wall colours have a universal impact on an individual’s moods but that’s not always true. Every person can react differently to a different colour, for example, shades of blue are often considered the most calming and peaceful for wall colour but some people find blue to be sad instead of tranquil. Thus, evaluate your bedroom wall colours, and try different colours.

Sneaky light

Darkness is an important tool to help activate melatonin (a hormone that helps the body feel sleepy). Any kind of light source can suppress this hormone and can make you feel more alert. Hence your bedroom may be hiding your sleep culprit in the form of the thinner window curtain, glowing LED clock, or the charging light from your laptop charger.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

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