Tag Archive : best couples therapist in delhi

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Ways Marriage Will Transform your Life

Probably, marriage brings about the biggest transition in an individual’s life and no matter how ready he/she might be, it will always take the person by surprise. When you begin living with your spouse, changes are bound to happen. Some will bring joy, while others may challenge your patience and sanity. How you adapt to those challenges marriage throws at you and adjust to the changes, will further dictate the course of this lifelong relationship, says Shivani.

So, through this blog renowned couples’ therapist, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few changes and challenges the sacred bond of matrimony would bring in your life.

There will be Several Vulnerable Moments

When you begin your conjugal life with a partner, he or she will gradually discover your strengths and weaknesses. You will share your deepest secrets, and desires and tell them things, which you may not have told anyone before.

But when you share such intimate details with a person, you are bound to feel vulnerable. There will be times when you would wonder if you have done the right thing by revealing it all, but this is what marriage is. Everyone and every circumstance will demand that you trust your partner with your heart and soul. It will not be simple initially, but things will fit into place with time.

Relationship with In-laws Might not be what you Hoped for

We have sufficient Hindi movies and TV serials highlighting the strained relationship between a daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law. It is only natural for people to form a perception of the partner’s family much before even they are married.

However, an individual would only get to know how that relationship would alter his or her life only post getting married. It could be for the good or in the predicted lines of what we have seen in TV shows or movies, but one thing is certain—it will create a deep impact on your life.

Responsibilities will Increase

Under usual circumstances, responsibilities, when shared between two individuals, will decrease. But not in marriage. With every passing year, you will end up getting more responsibilities. And by responsibilities, it is not merely meant for materialistic goals.

When you are married to someone, you also have to bear the responsibility of looking after his or her well-being. And your partner will also have to do the same. The weight of responsibility can at times be overwhelming but when you do a fine job, the rewards will also be manifold.

Certainly, you will Yearn for some Me Time

Companionship is a wonderful thing. Post-marriage, the starting days will be nothing but full of sheer joy. You would see new things that may have remained unobserved till now. You will be spending plenty of time together—be it visiting friends and relatives post the wedding or shopping for household items. The world you kept for yourself, your bed, your room—all the things will now have two people in it.

And there will come a time when you will wish that you could spend some time alone, simply like the way you did before you were not married. And such thoughts will be immediately followed by a feeling of guilt. Believe it this is not simple.

Money will be an Important Factor

It is easier said than done, that love is all you need to keep you happy. But only love cannot provide the food on your plate or the roof to live under. Only money can. You will need to have a bigger house, probably buy a car and when you have a family, you will need money to pay for your kid’s school fees. Marriage can teach even the most carefree individual about the importance of money in his life.

You Might not Fall in Love with your Partner

It may sound strange but not all married couples fall in love with each other. Though there are exceptions who tied the knot after falling in love. In several arranged marriages, where the would-be-spouses only get to know each other shortly, hope to find love post-marriage.

Now, love may happen but there are also probabilities that they may never fall in love. Moreover, plenty of couples fall out of love after being married for a long time. Does it mean their marriage too falls apart? No, not for everyone though.

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How Tender Touch Can Lead To a Greater Intimacy

There are several ways in a relationship that helps in fostering love and care for each other. And one of the smallest yet most powerful ways to show your love and care towards your partner is through a tender or gentle touch.

Shivani says, there are moments in any relationship be it of a husband or wife or any other relationship, when someone is in a crisis or a stressful phase sometimes learn and observe how unbelievable the power of human touch could be. Let us take the example of a small baby who is unwell and is certainly not able to express his problems clearly, except with a cry.  Always feels assured, the moment his mother touches the baby as the baby not only feels assured but for him it acts as a life-sustaining thing. Often, you have heard the qualities of a “mother’s touch”. This is exactly the same.

In the same way, a tender touch plays an important role even in a couple’s life. Not necessarily a tender touch for your marriage, that leads to something towards, more in the bedroom only, but the kind of touch that connects and reassures you as a couple and as a soulmate.

Not only does a tender touch cultivate deeper intimacy; it assists you in communicating with each other on another level. It sustains and boosts your connection. And it is an essential part of a healthy, happy, and content marriage.

India’s leading marriage counselor and couple’s therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares the reason why a tender touch cultivates and leads towards greater intimacy.

Touch Helps you Feel, Secure, Known, Assured, and Loved

Tender touch conveys your love for each other and creates a level of emotional safety that opens the avenues for deeper intimacy. It is this deep kind of emotional security that further leads to more physical desire for one another in the long run. Although every married individual wishes to experience a healthy sex life with their spouse, it is crucial to build that foundation.

When you feel valued, you are more likely to show vulnerability to one another. Affectionate touch does not shut you down; rather, it opens you to that intimacy you are craving from one another–on several levels.

To be feel seen, heard, and truly known by your partner is a powerful component in the health of your marriage. Small daily moments and habits that are meaningful build upon each other and lead to something wonderful in your marriage. Use the power of touch to show your spouse that you are watching, listening to, caring, and valuing him or her.

Like a tiny infant baby, touch is essential to your well-being in your marriage; without that daily contact, one cannot thrive.

It Keeps you Connected

A tender touch awakens you and reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place. It is a way to tell each other, “I am for you.” It is a constant reminder that you are not enemies– you are in the same team.

Some ways you can stay connected as a couple with a tender touch are:

  • A massage posts a long or tiring day at work
  • Comforting hugs when your partner is down
  • Touching your spouse when you are talking or laughing
  • Holding hands in town
  • Putting an arm around your partner while discussing an issue that bothers him/her

Tender touch is specifically important when you are going through a difficult time in your life or marriage. If you have been experiencing plenty of conflicts, problems with your kids or extended family, health issues, or your professional life, stay connected by making physical contact daily–two to three minutes total, at least. You will be surprised how much you accomplish emotionally by intentionally touching each other every day.

It Conveys Affection Sans any Agenda

Tender touch is not merely meant to lead straight to the bedroom; instead, it is meant to convey affection without any agenda attached. It is meant to be a selfless, supportive and kind act instead of a means to an end.

You touch your spouse because you love them and cherish them; if you merely touch them when you have an agenda, they may start to feel resentful of the fact that you only make physical contact when you desire something.

Practice tender touch without expecting anything for an outcome that is sexual in nature. Be playful and affectionate. Passion is an essential component of any marriage, but it is not the only form of physical affection you and your loved one needs to share.

As an extra bonus, the more physical affection you share without any agenda attached, the more you and your spouse will desire each other in that passionate way. And you will certainly find that you inevitably build anticipation for those private moments later on while you are showing one another true affection.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, or emotional and psychological challenges.


Is Your Partner or You an Over- Communicator?

Is Your Partner or You an Over-communicator? Things You Need to Consider Says Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Anything in excess or over is always harmful. As a relationship counsellor and couples therapist, one works with their clients on improving their communication. Sometimes it has been found that one or both partners get into patterns of over-communicating, where they are sharing their entire feelings and thoughts about themselves and their partner. Telling your spouse everything you think, feel, and need is not necessarily a healthy communication form.

Your partner might feel unable to meet your demands and it could seem to them that you are making them accountable for your own reactions and behavior. You could feel like you are having the same conversations, going over similar arguments with no resolution. Your partner might get emotionally drained by all your communication and begin to withdraw or go silent. This might leave you feeling ignored or rejected, and as a result, you may chase your partner even more vigorously with your communication, which makes things worse.

In this blog, Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says if you are an over-communicator, what can you do to get your needs fulfilled and to improve the bonding with your partner?

Look Within Yourself

It is impossible for any relationship to fulfill all your needs. Getting clear on what you require and what you feel is missing for you is an ideal place to start. Is it about emotional support, financial security, excitement, and stimulation? It is really up to you to take responsibility for your own needs and your partner is there to help you in that process.

Be Respectful

Are you truly communicating in a way that is respectful to your partner? Being respectful of their time and their own needs and feelings, just as you would with a colleague or friend, creates mutual respect. Getting into an emotional list of demands as soon as your partner walks through the door or late at night when they are trying to go to bed, does neither you nor your partner show any courtesy. Selecting a time and a place that suits you both is what is required to set-up effective communication and a happier and stronger relationship.

Controlling Anxiety

If one is anxious, he/she may try to feel better by sharing all their feelings and over-communicating. This can be anxiety-provoking for your spouse and consequently, they might shut down or withdraw. This can then create the pattern of you over-communicating and your partner withdrawing. Learning to manage or control your anxiety is an essential skill in relationships and can decrease this pursuit-avoidance communication pattern.

Calm Down and Reflect

When talking is not solving the problem, be ready to walk away for the moment and take some time out to calm down and reflect. When you are running high on adrenalin, it is difficult to see a solution to the problem. Taking some time for yourself can help you think about the issue in a separate way and look at what you are responsible for. What is your part in solving this problem? Stop focusing on your partner and what you think they are doing incorrectly and start looking at the patterns in your own behavior. This is where change starts.

Communication issues do not need to damage your relationship. Working with a professional counselor at Saarthi Counseling Services can support you in forming a positive communication style, where both partners feel heard, validated, and valued. Contact marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo now to start communicating in an effective and positive way for both you and your partner. Let’s talk before it’s too late.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


When is the Correct Time to Walk Away From a Relationship?

It appears that for so many amongst you have become occupied by those almost great loves. The kind of relationships that are difficult to walk away from because it is almost correct; you are almost there, we have almost made it, or even, you are almost in love. So how do you know when is the correct time to walk away from a relationship?

Counselor Shivani says that the truth you struggle with and fight because there is a part of you that wishes you could make it different than it is. Sometimes the years go, and you suddenly find yourself in the situation of how to know if this is time to walk away for good.

See, the Bitter Truth is that Sometimes You End Up Marry Your “Almost”

At times it is your almost that you settle for, you barter happiness in lieu of getting what you want or what you think you need without realizing that sometimes you are meant to give up. Love is not always of the same quantity, and while not getting what you want can end up becoming the greatest blessing, the truth is this lesson often requires to be learned the difficult way. Irrespective of whether you have spent a few months/years dating someone or married over a decade, there are certain telltale signs that suggest this is time to give up and walk away.

The thing with love or at least the form of love that so many of you are looking for is that it would not arrive until you make room for it.

Through this blog, Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about when is the correct time to walk away from a relationship?

Here they are.

You have Gone from Cherishing to Enduring

You have this belief that no one remains in crazy passionate love forever, yet this is just a lie told by those to make themselves feel more comfortable regarding their own choices. The reality is that while the honeymoon stage of a relationship can go away, the honeymoon feelings can long last if the spark between two individuals is based on more than the initial underlying attraction. If you see yourself tolerating quirks, habits or even the choices of your partner rather than adoring them for who they are then this is the first sign that you are falling out of love with your partner, or that you already have.

You Try Yourself Compromising Your Happiness to Keep it Alive

Love needs compromise, there is no doubt about this, but it must not be to the extent that your happiness starts to suffer because of it. If you find yourself cutting away those activities or even people that you earlier enjoyed or that used to make up a part of you to somehow cause the relationship alive then the truth is the relationship is already over.

The sort of a relationship that inspires us to become more ourselves and to grow will never really need you to give up those important parts of who you are to do so. As an adult, you know that you rarely get your way, or least tell yourself that in an attempt to justify why you aren’t happy. In love, you sometimes think that it’s fine to have to change parts of yourself to have that relationship.

You Look at Love and Intimacy as a Chore

While you all have various levels and preferences of getting intimate if physical intimacy with your partner has become as a dutiful and monotonous routine just like emptying the clothes from the washing machine and just as fast then it is time to begin looking at why. Sex is an important indicator for your relationship, and as long as you don’t buy into the false pattern that after some amount of time none of you and your partner care about sex, then it will keep being a vital part of your relationship.

Whether you have been dating for a few months/years or you are some months post-partum sex matters, and not simply because of climax but because of the essence of grounding the relationship in physical intimacy. If you see yourself passing during physical intimacy more often than it perhaps is time to have a look at why you are physically pushing your partner away.

Your Romantic Relationships Reflects Where You Each Are at in Your Own Lives

If you have difficulty believing you are deserving of love, then you will end up pursuing someone whom it looks like you are begging for love from. If you lack self-confidence, then you will attract someone who will make you feel like less than yourself. Likewise, if you are self-secure and committed to learning about yourself, then you will draw someone mutually curious and respectful.

Life is all about growing and expanding so, this is the purpose of your relationships. No one wants a relationship to finish, whether it is because you have been on a few fun dates or because you share a child with someone. Mostly the moment you consider if you should give up and walk away is the moment you already have. You would be doomed in love because of a few failed relationships. But you will be if you do not believe that you deserve better.

You See Yourself Crying More Often Than Smiling

It might appear like an obvious one, but it appears that sometimes when you are in relationships so deep, you become more obsessed with making it happen than actually stepping back and stopping to consider if you even should. No relationship is perfect every time, but there must be more good times than bad.

There must be more times that make you smile than bringing tears, anxiety, arguments, and even apathy. If you see yourself busy on your phone, creating social media updates rather than cuddling watching a movie, or surprise your lover it could be time to stop and begin considering why. Not every relationship has to last, and in truth, the majority of your relationships do not, but they can teach you something, not about love but yourself as well.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.