Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

In many Indian households, love is often expressed through care, responsibility, and shared duties—but not always through physical affection. As work stress, digital distraction, and busy routines grow, couples are spending less time connecting emotionally and physically. One of the simplest yet most powerful ways to revive intimacy is cuddling.

Warm, non-sexual physical touch can deepen emotional security, reduce stress, and strengthen the bond between partners. For Indian couples, where affection can sometimes take a back seat in everyday life, cuddling offers a gentle but meaningful way to reconnect, says certified relationship therapist and one of Delhi’s most successful marriage counsellors Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Why Cuddling Is Important Between a Couple?

Cuddling is more than just a cozy gesture—it’s a scientifically proven relationship booster. When partners hold each other, their bodies release oxytocin, often called the love hormone. This chemical improves trust, increases emotional bonding, and reduces anxiety. For couples living in high-pressure environments—nuclear family setups, demanding jobs, financial stress—this simple act helps regulate mood and create emotional balance.

Physical touch also builds a sense of safety. In Indian culture, where many people grow up with limited physical affection at home, cuddling can help partners feel valued, accepted, and emotionally nurtured. It’s a quiet reminder that no matter what the world throws at you, you’re not alone.

Deeper Explanation & Relationship Benefits of Cuddling

1. Strengthens Emotional Bonding

In long-term relationships, emotional connection can fade if not nurtured. Cuddling gives couples a way to express affection without words. It deepens closeness by creating a warm, supportive environment where partners feel listened to—even in silence. Over time, this increases trust, empathy, and companionship.

2. Reduces Stress and Improves Mental Health

Indian couples often juggle multiple responsibilities—work deadlines, family expectations, household duties, financial pressures. Regular cuddling reduces cortisol (the stress hormone) and stabilizes mood. After a long day, simply lying close together for a few minutes can calm the nervous system, reduce irritability, and promote emotional clarity. Couples who cuddle frequently report fewer arguments and better emotional resilience.

3. Enhances Romantic and Physical Intimacy

Cuddling acts as a bridge between emotional closeness and physical intimacy. When partners feel emotionally safe and physically connected, their romantic life naturally improves. For many couples, consistent cuddling rekindles passion, increases desire, and enhances overall satisfaction in the relationship. It keeps the spark alive without the pressure of performance.

4. Builds a Habit of Affection in a Culture That Often Holds Back

Many Indian couples hesitate to show affection, even privately, due to cultural conditioning. Creating a safe space within the relationship where touch becomes normal helps break emotional barriers. It encourages partners to express love more openly, leading to healthier communication and deeper bonding. Cuddling becomes a daily ritual that reinforces love beyond words.

5. Improves Sleep Quality

Sleeping close to your partner—whether spooning, hugging, or lightly touching—helps regulate breathing, reduces nighttime stress, and enhances sleep quality. For couples dealing with insomnia, overthinking, or anxiety, this shared comfort can be incredibly soothing. Better sleep also improves mood and patience, which directly benefits the relationship.

6. Encourages Security and Reassurance

Modern relationships face challenges like emotional distance, insecurity, or fear of losing connection. Cuddling acts as a reassurance mechanism—it tells your partner, “You matter. I’m here with you.”
This sense of safety strengthens commitment and reduces unnecessary misunderstandings or feelings of neglect.

7. Helps Navigate Conflicts Better

Couples who maintain regular physical affection tend to resolve conflicts faster. The warmth of touch calms emotions and encourages cooperation instead of confrontation. Even after an argument, a small gesture like holding hands or leaning against each other helps soften anger and rebuild harmony.

Cuddling is not just a romantic gesture—it’s a powerful relationship tool that Indian couples often overlook. In a culture where affection is subtle and routine responsibilities dominate life, taking a few minutes each day to cuddle can transform the emotional climate of a relationship. It strengthens trust, improves communication, boosts happiness, and deepens long-term compatibility.

If Indian couples embrace cuddling as a daily habit, they can build more emotionally secure, loving, and fulfilling relationships—one warm hug at a time.

When you’re deeply in love with someone, it’s so easy to let certain things slide. In those early, starry-eyed days of love, everything feels magical — you’re wrapped up in affection, laughter, and the thrill of being together. But as that initial “lovey-dovey” phase begins to settle, reality slowly seeps in. You start noticing the small differences — the way you both think, react, and handle situations. Disagreements begin to show up, and that’s perfectly normal.

Contrary to what many people believe, conflicts don’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with your relationship. In fact, they’re an inevitable part of any close emotional bond. Conflicts can either be constructive or destructive — it all depends on how couples handle them. When arguments leave you feeling unsafe, disrespected, or unresolved, they can become toxic. However, when it comes to the everyday disagreements and annoyances that every long-term relationship faces, expressing your frustrations and discussing them is not only normal but also necessary.

Interestingly, research shows that couples who argue — and resolve those arguments — tend to stay together longer than those who suppress their issues. The key lies in how you navigate those rough patches.

So, if you’ve recently had a nasty fight with your boyfriend and now find yourself facing the silent aftermath, wondering how to make him talk again, don’t panic. Silence after a fight can feel heavy, but it doesn’t have to mean the end of communication.

How to make your boyfriend talk after a fight?

Here are some thoughtful ways to break the ice and reconnect with him after an argument, shared by none other than Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the leading marriage counsellors and one of the best relationship therapists in India.

Stay Calm

Perhaps one of the first things you can do after a fight with your boyfriend is to disconnect for a while and calm yourself down. A calm mind helps you think clearly and logically and understand the situation better. When you are composed, you can express yourself without anger or blame, which makes it easier for your boyfriend to open up and talk. Giving yourself time to relax not only helps you regain balance but also creates space for honest and peaceful communication.

Choose Written Communication

You’ve just had a fight with your boyfriend and are not on talking terms at all. So, what next? How about turning to written communication? When words fail to come out face-to-face, writing can bridge the silence. Thanks to the digital age, messages travel faster than thoughts, giving you time to express feelings without interruptions or ego clashes. A simple text can ease tension, clear misunderstandings, and gently open the door to conversation once again.

Retrospection

Retrospection is vital after a heated argument, as it allows one to look inward and evaluate their actions and communication style. By identifying what triggered his anger or hurt, one gains clarity about emotional patterns and underlying issues. Taking accountability for one’s role instead of assigning blame fosters openness and trust. Often, what seems like a small disagreement hides deeper feelings—such as feeling neglected or misunderstood—and through reflection, these real concerns can be addressed, encouraging him to talk again.

Give Him Time To Think

Sometimes it is essential to give your boyfriend some space after a fight. As they say, silence is golden—and it truly is at times. He needs time to process his thoughts and emotions, which are probably tangled and intense right now. Don’t overburden him with constant messages or questions; instead, let him breathe. When the storm settles, approach him calmly, with understanding and warmth. A gentle tone and open heart can do wonders, making it easier for him to express what he truly feels.

Surprise Him

Conflicts or arguments can happen for many reasons, and sometimes emotions get the best of us. To help make your boyfriend talk after a nasty fight, you can take a gentle approach by surprising him with his favourite meal, a small gift, or something meaningful that shows you still care. This simple gesture can melt away anger and open the door for calm communication. Once he feels your effort and sincerity, he’ll be more willing to talk, understand your side, and make things right again.

Lend Your Ears

Once your partner is ready to talk, make sure you listen to him carefully. Lend your ears completely. Disconnect yourself from digital media to reconnect with him genuinely. Give him your undivided attention and let him feel that his thoughts matter. Avoid interrupting or defending yourself; instead, focus on understanding his emotions. Maintain gentle eye contact and use a calm tone to create a safe space. Sometimes, just being fully present can melt the tension and open his heart to speak freely again.

Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but how you handle them makes all the difference. Stay calm, reflect, give space, and communicate with empathy—whether through words or gestures. Listen with an open heart, show care, and let love guide you back to understanding and connection.

When two people fall in love, what’s the first thing that connects them?

Is it the mind — where curiosity turns into comfort, where a stranger begins to feel familiar long before the heart catches up? Or is it that unexplainable physical pull that draws you closer before you even know why?

Honestly, it’s often our minds that meet first. Our emotions translate what words can’t — that quiet spark of recognition when a thought mirrors your own, when laughter feels shared rather than offered, when silence doesn’t demand filling. That’s the magic, isn’t it? Two minds leaning toward each other long before the souls follow and the hearts understand what’s unfolding.

But what happens when that same person — the one who once understood your pauses and lit up your brightest thoughts — turns distant? When warmth turns to indifference, and the shared language of love fades into one-word replies? When the home you built together feels more like a waiting room where no one calls your name?

Yes, we are talking about Emotional Abandonment — what it really is, and how to walk through it without losing yourself says Shivani Misri Sadhoo who is one of the most experienced couples therapist in Delhi, India.

What is Emotional Abandonment?

Sometimes, even in a marriage that is built on trust, communication, patience, and more importantly love, life has a way of making people drift without realizing it. Work pressure, family duties, the everyday hustle and bustle — they all add up, and slowly, two people who once felt like they were in a “made-for-each-other” kind of relationship become emotionally alien to each other. Then there are times when the emotional disconnect isn’t transient. The person who loved you so much, stops caring about your feelings.

There is a great wall of silence that rises between you and your spouse. And, even though you’re under the same roof, it feels like you’re worlds apart — sharing space, but not a life. You feel unheard, unseen, almost invisible in a space that was once safe. Over time, that emotional gap turns into isolation and deep loneliness. This isn’t just distance — it’s emotional abandonment, a painful place where support fades, connection breaks down, and love feels like it’s there in name but missing in presence. It can happen over the years or all of a sudden. But whenever it happens, it hurts!

Why Does It Happen?

Some of the reasons this happens are:

Too Busy

We are living in an era where life spins endlessly in the orbit of busyness — where married couples, caught in the rush, slowly drift apart, and emotional abandonment takes root in the silence between them. Initially, they try to make it up by going for a late night coffee date or a weekend plan. But as time goes by, those gestures become band-aids on widening cracks. The late-night coffees turn into hurried takeaways, weekend plans become postponed promises, and conversations shrink into logistics — bills, schedules, responsibilities. What once felt like partnership now feels like parallel lives: two people moving in the same space yet rarely meeting in spirit. This takes a heavy toll on their emotional landscape-a slow erosion rather than a sudden collapse.

Negative Experiences of Childhood

Sometimes, childhood experiences like neglect, abuse, or losing a caregiver can quietly shape how we love later in life. These can unknowingly lead to feelings of distrust, fear of getting hurt, and anxiety around closeness. A person may cling when they feel insecure or pull away to protect themselves. Without meaning to, they may create distance in the relationships they care about most, wanting connection but struggling to feel safe in it.

Money Matters

Sometimes constant financial stress and job insecurity can quietly strain a relationship. Your mind is more focused on solving financial problems and hence there is no room for emotional attachment. As time goes by, this constant state of worry takes a toll on their emotional relationship. When that happens, feelings of neglect and abandonment grow.

Personality Mismatch

One more reason for emotional abandonment comes from differences in personality. Some people are naturally introverted and prefer space, quiet, and time alone to recharge. Others are more expressive and seek frequent emotional connection. When these needs don’t match, misunderstandings grow. The introverted person may feel overwhelmed, while the other feels ignored or unloved. Over time, this gap in communication and emotional style can quietly push partners apart, creating distance without anyone meaning to.

Is there a solution to this problem? Let’s find out.

Ways To navigate emotional abandonment

Recognise The Problem

The first step should be to recognise the problem. There is no point dilly-dallying when you already feel the distance creeping in and hurting your relationship. Don’t you want to feel close and happy again? So go ahead and acknowledge that this emotional detachment is slowly building walls between you both. Once you name it, you can face it, talk honestly, and slowly reconnect instead of drifting apart.

Communication is Key

Communicate. Real communication is a two-way flow — you listen, you speak honestly, and you face what hurts instead of running from it. The more you talk, the lighter you feel, because sharing loosens the weight you’ve been carrying inside. Emotional abandonment begins to heal when two partners stay present, open up, and keep showing up with truth and patience. If you don’t express what’s hurting you inside, how will your partner ever know? Speak, release the unspoken, and let honesty bring you back to each other.

The Magic of Time

They say time is the greatest healer, so give it the space it needs. When you and your spouse feel emotionally detached, be patient and gentle with yourselves. Take it slow, stay steady in your efforts, and keep showing up even when progress feels small. Miracles do not happen overnight; time and steady intention soften wounds, rebuild trust, and slowly revive connection. With patience, honest effort, and a calm heart, emotional abandonment in marriage can gradually give way to closeness once again.

Spend Quality Time Together

Try giving sweet surprises to your better half. Plan a weekend trip to the place where you first met and relive those precious moments. You could also try something new together, like a fun activity or a creative workshop you both enjoy. The whole idea is to spend real quality time together—switch off your phone, disconnect from the outside world, and reconnect with each other. These simple efforts strengthen your emotional bond by reminding you both that love is not just spoken but shown through presence and intention.

Professional Guidance Helps

Sometimes professional guidance truly helps. A third person can counsel you in a neutral manner, seeing the situation from an outside perspective without judgment. A therapist or marriage counsellor uses specific tools and techniques to address the issues that are emotionally hurting both partners. Their support creates a safe space to express feelings, understand unmet needs, and rebuild trust. This process is especially helpful for healing emotional abandonment in a marriage, as it encourages reconnection, healthy communication, and renewed emotional presence.

Life is full of surprises — some lift us, some test us. Emotional distance can feel heavy, but it’s not the final chapter. When we notice the disconnect, speak openly, give time, create meaningful moments, and seek guidance when needed, love finds its way back. Healing begins when both hearts choose to stay present.

We often think attractiveness is about looks, style, or physical features—but true attractiveness goes much deeper than that. It’s not just about how someone looks, but about how they make others feel. Some people seem to have a magnetic charm that draws others toward them effortlessly. You can sense their energy in the way they talk, listen, and carry themselves. The secret lies not in appearance, but in habits—the small, consistent actions that reflect inner confidence, kindness, and authenticity.

Which 5 Habits Make People Instantly Attractive to Others?

Here are five amazing habits that make people naturally attractive and deeply admired by others as explained by Shivani Misri Sadhoo who is one of the most experienced couples and relationship counselors in India.

1. They Radiate Positivity

Attractive people are not those who have perfect lives—but those who maintain a positive attitude, even when things don’t go their way. Their optimism is contagious. They focus on solutions, not problems, and find silver linings even in challenges.

When you’re around someone who exudes positivity, you feel lighter, more hopeful, and more at peace. That’s because positivity shifts energy—it turns ordinary moments into uplifting ones. Whether it’s greeting others with a smile, showing gratitude, or encouraging people during tough times, their attitude becomes a source of warmth and comfort.

A positive mindset doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine—it means believing in possibilities. People who embody this habit inspire others to do the same, which makes them irresistibly magnetic.

2. They Truly Listen and Make Others Feel Heard

One of the most underrated yet powerful habits is active listening. We live in a world where most people listen to reply, not to understand. But attractive individuals do the opposite—they listen with genuine attention. They make eye contact, nod, ask thoughtful questions, and remember details.

When you talk to them, you feel seen, valued, and respected. They don’t interrupt or dominate the conversation; they let you express yourself freely. That’s why people naturally open up to them—they create a safe emotional space.

This habit signals emotional intelligence and empathy—qualities that build trust and deepen connections. Being a good listener isn’t just polite; it’s profoundly attractive because it shows you care about others more than your own ego.

3. They Carry Themselves with Confidence, Not Arrogance

Confidence is one of the most universally attractive traits—but it’s important to understand that true confidence is quiet. It doesn’t demand attention; it attracts it naturally.

People with genuine confidence are comfortable in their own skin. They don’t try to prove their worth to others, nor do they need validation to feel good about themselves. They know their strengths, accept their flaws, and stay grounded.

Unlike arrogance, which pushes people away, real confidence invites respect. It’s reflected in posture, eye contact, tone, and how they treat others. When someone walks into a room with calm assurance and humility, they instantly stand out—not because they’re loud, but because they’re secure.

4. They Show Kindness Without Expecting Anything in Return

There’s something deeply beautiful about people who are kind—not because they want recognition, but because it’s simply who they are. Kindness has a way of leaving a lasting impression. It could be as simple as holding the door open, offering help without being asked, or speaking with compassion instead of judgment.

Truly attractive people see others as human beings, not as means to an end. They treat everyone with respect—whether it’s a colleague, waiter, or stranger. Their kindness makes them approachable and trustworthy.

Research even shows that kindness activates a “warm glow” in both the giver and receiver, fostering emotional connection. People remember how you make them feel—and kindness ensures they remember you fondly.

5. They Are Authentic and Comfortable Being Themselves

In a world obsessed with filters, perfection, and social approval, authenticity stands out like a breath of fresh air. Attractive people don’t pretend to be someone else—they embrace their uniqueness. They speak honestly, express their opinions with respect, and aren’t afraid to show vulnerability.

Authenticity creates connection because it signals realness. When someone is unapologetically themselves, it gives others permission to be real too. That kind of honesty builds trust faster than any charm or pretense ever could.

Being authentic also means having the courage to say “no” when needed, and standing by your values even when it’s inconvenient. That quiet integrity makes such people truly admirable.

True attractiveness isn’t about appearance—it’s about energy, attitude, and empathy. The most magnetic people are those who uplift others, listen deeply, live confidently, show kindness, and remain genuine.

When you cultivate these five habits, you don’t just become more attractive—you become more alive. People will be drawn to your authenticity, your warmth, and your positive presence. And that kind of beauty never fades.

In any healthy relationship—whether romantic, familial, or friendship—boundaries play a crucial role in maintaining mutual respect and emotional safety. Without boundaries, even the strongest relationships can become strained, leading to misunderstandings, resentment, or burnout. Boundaries are not walls that keep people out—they are guidelines that define how we want to be treated and how we treat others, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is India’s top couples and marriage counselor in this blog.

What Do Boundaries in a Relationship Refer To?

Boundaries in a relationship refer to the limits and expectations that partners set to protect their emotional, physical, and mental well-being. They define what is acceptable and what isn’t in terms of behavior, communication, and personal space. Boundaries ensure that both individuals feel respected, valued, and safe, preventing one person from overpowering or neglecting the other.

For example, setting boundaries might mean communicating honestly about personal needs, maintaining privacy, saying “no” without guilt, or ensuring equal effort in emotional or physical intimacy. They create balance—allowing closeness without losing individuality.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries in a Relationship?

Know Yourself First
Understand your values, comfort zones, and emotional triggers. You can’t set boundaries if you don’t know what you need to feel secure and respected.

Communicate Clearly and Calmly
Express your boundaries openly and respectfully. Instead of blaming or accusing, use “I” statements like “I feel uncomfortable when…” or “I need some alone time to recharge.”

Be Consistent
Once you set a boundary, maintain it. Inconsistency can confuse your partner and weaken the respect for your limits.

Respect Your Partner’s Boundaries Too
Boundaries are mutual. Just as you expect your limits to be respected, you should honor your partner’s as well. Listen and adjust when needed.

Don’t Feel Guilty About Setting Limits
Healthy boundaries don’t make you selfish—they make you emotionally mature. They show you value yourself and your relationship enough to keep it balanced.

Boundaries are the foundation of trust and respect in every relationship. They help both partners grow individually while nurturing their bond together. Without them, love can quickly turn into control, dependency, or emotional exhaustion. Setting boundaries is not about distance—it’s about creating the right space where love, respect, and understanding can thrive.

In recent years, a new kind of social and romantic trend has been quietly taking over parks, gyms, and recreational centres — Pickleball Dating. What started as a fun, friendly sport for all ages has now evolved into an unexpected matchmaking hotspot. From singles meetups on the court to dating apps adding “Pickleball” as an interest filter, this sporty new way to connect is becoming a favourite among people looking for love — or at least some lively competition, says leading couples therapist and relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What Is Pickleball Dating?

Pickleball dating combines the sport of pickleball with the social experience of meeting potential partners. It’s not just about scoring points; it’s about finding chemistry — both on and off the court.

Pickleball itself is a paddle sport that blends elements of tennis, badminton, and ping pong. It’s easy to learn, fun to play, and perfect for group or doubles matches — which makes it naturally social. Because of its friendly pace and interactive setup, it encourages conversation, teamwork, and laughter — all key ingredients for forming connections.

In pickleball dating events, singles are paired up in matches or rotated across different partners, allowing them to meet multiple people in a relaxed, non-pressured setting. Think of it as “speed dating meets recreational sport” — where compatibility is tested through playful rallies instead of awkward small talk.

Why Is Pickleball Dating Trending?

There are several reasons why pickleball dating has become one of the most talked-about modern dating trends:

1. It’s Active and Fun
People today are looking for experiences that go beyond sitting in a café or swiping endlessly on dating apps. Pickleball offers a refreshing change — it gets people moving, laughing, and enjoying the moment. The shared physical activity makes it easier to break the ice and show your authentic self.

2. It’s Social and Inclusive
Pickleball is known for being one of the most inclusive sports — suitable for all ages and fitness levels. That makes it ideal for singles in their 20s, 40s, or even 60s. Unlike some sports that can feel competitive or intimidating, pickleball is lighthearted and community-driven, creating the perfect atmosphere for socializing and forming connections.

3. Post-Pandemic Shift Toward Real Connections
After years of online-only interactions, people are craving genuine, face-to-face connections. Pickleball dating events provide that — a way to meet others in person, bond through shared activity, and avoid the digital fatigue that comes with dating apps.

4. Shared Interests Build Stronger Bonds
When you meet someone who enjoys the same hobby, the connection feels natural. Pickleball dating gives singles a common ground — literally and figuratively — from the very first serve. It’s an instant icebreaker that fosters teamwork, communication, and friendly competition.

5. Celebrities and Media Influence
Pickleball’s popularity has skyrocketed thanks to celebrity endorsements and media coverage. Famous figures like Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen DeGeneres, and the Kardashians have been spotted playing, bringing the sport — and its dating potential — into the mainstream.

The Bigger Picture: Why Pickleball Dating Works

Beyond being a trend, pickleball dating reflects a broader shift in how people approach relationships. Modern singles are prioritizing shared experiences, health, and emotional compatibility over superficial dating norms. Playing pickleball together reveals personality traits — teamwork, patience, humor — that can’t be seen through a screen.

It also reduces the awkwardness that comes with traditional dating. The focus on fun and movement makes it easier to let your guard down. Even if you don’t find romance, you walk away with new friends and a good workout — a win-win situation.

Pickleball dating is more than a passing fad — it’s a sign of how people are redefining connection in today’s world. It’s about mixing sport, laughter, and a little bit of flirtation in a space where everyone feels welcome.

Whether you’re new to the dating scene or just looking for a fresh way to meet people, picking up a paddle might be your next best move. After all, love — like pickleball — is about finding the right rhythm, playing fair, and enjoying the game together.

Have you ever replayed a conversation in your head and cringed at what you said? Or remembered an awkward moment and felt your cheeks burn? These experiences are common, but the feelings behind them vary. At times, we simply feel embarrassed. Other times, we feel guilty about something we did. But when the discomfort goes deeper and touches our very sense of worth, that is shame.

While guilt says “I did something bad,” shame whispers “I am bad.” And unlike embarrassment or guilt, shame is more damaging if left unchecked. Eminent psychologist and marriage counsellor in India, Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains that learning how to deal with shame is vital for mental health, self-confidence, and healthy relationships.

What is Shame?

Shame is the uncomfortable belief that you are flawed, unworthy, or “not good enough.” It often arises after mistakes, criticism, or rejection. For example, forgetting a partner’s birthday may cause temporary guilt, but if you start believing that this makes you careless or unlovable, the heavy, sinking emotion you feel is shame.

Psychologists distinguish between two types of shame—healthy and toxic. Healthy shame is temporary and acts as a signal that you have fallen short of your values, motivating you to correct your actions and do better. Toxic shame, on the other hand, runs much deeper. Instead of being tied to a single mistake, it becomes part of your identity, making you feel permanently flawed and unworthy. If left unchecked, this type of shame can undermine your confidence, weaken relationships, and even affect physical and emotional well-being.

Why Shame Hurts More Than Guilt or Embarrassment?

Embarrassment usually comes from awkwardness in social situations, such as forgetting someone’s name or tripping in public. Guilt is connected to specific actions, like missing a deadline or breaking a promise. Shame, however, is different because it attacks identity itself, convincing you that you are fundamentally wrong as a person.

When mistakes become linked to self-worth, the emotional weight of shame intensifies. People often respond by avoiding others, striving for perfection, or isolating themselves. Over time, shame can fuel deeper struggles such as anxiety, depression, and a lack of trust in relationships, making it far more destructive than guilt or embarrassment.

How to Deal with Shame in Life?

You should try the following ways to deal with shame:

1. Recognize and Acknowledge Shame

The first step in overcoming shame is awareness. Pay attention to situations that trigger defensiveness, anger, or withdrawal—these often mask shame. Notice how it feels in your body: heaviness, a desire to hide, or discomfort in social situations. Journaling these moments can help reveal patterns. Awareness shifts shame from something unconscious to something you can actively work on.

2. Understand the Root Causes

Shame often has roots in childhood experiences, social pressures, or repeated criticism. Growing up in an environment where love or acceptance was conditional can create lasting feelings of inadequacy. Similarly, struggles with identity, finances, or academic performance may contribute. Recognizing that much of this shame is inherited—not chosen—can ease the burden. You are not defined by past judgments or circumstances.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is the antidote to shame. Instead of harsh self-criticism, treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a close friend. When shame arises, pause and ask: What would I say to someone I love if they felt this way? This shift helps you move from judgment to understanding. Even if it feels unnatural at first, practicing small acts of self-kindness—like gentle self-talk or taking breaks when overwhelmed—builds resilience over time.

4. Challenge Negative Beliefs

Shame often thrives on distorted thinking such as “I don’t belong” or “I will fail.” Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques encourage questioning these thoughts:

• What evidence supports this belief?
• What evidence challenges it?
• How would I view this situation if it happened to someone else?

Replacing absolute, negative beliefs with balanced perspectives reduces shame’s power.

5. Build Supportive Connections

Shame pushes people to hide, but connection is the cure. Talking to trusted friends, partners, or mentors can normalize your struggles. Often, you will discover others have faced similar feelings. Vulnerability in safe relationships breaks shame’s cycle of secrecy and self-isolation.

6. Seek Professional Guidance

Sometimes shame is deeply rooted and hard to manage alone. In such cases, working with a therapist is invaluable. A trained professional provides a safe, non-judgmental space to explore emotions, uncover root causes, and develop healthier coping strategies. Approaches like CBT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) help reframe negative thought patterns and rebuild self-worth.

Living Beyond Shame

Shame is universal—everyone experiences it at some point. But it does not have to define you. By recognizing its presence, understanding where it comes from, treating yourself with compassion, and seeking help when necessary, you can loosen shame’s grip.

As psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo emphasizes, dealing with shame is not about erasing mistakes but about refusing to equate them with your identity. With awareness, kindness, and courage, you can step out from shame’s shadow and live with greater confidence, peace, and self-acceptance.

Marriage is a journey full of growth, discovery, and sometimes challenges that test the bond between two people. While every relationship is unique, most marriages tend to go through recognisable stages. Understanding these phases can help couples navigate difficulties, strengthen their connection, and set realistic expectations, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a leading relationship expert and one of the top marriage counsellors in Delhi and India.

Questions You Might Ask

1. Why do couples often face the most difficulties in the early years of marriage?

Many challenges emerge as couples move beyond the initial excitement of marriage into the realities of everyday life. Differences in habits, communication styles, and expectations can surface, often leading to conflict if not addressed consciously.

2. Can a marriage survive Stage 3, the Power Struggle?

Yes. Stage 3 can feel intense, but with open communication, mutual understanding, and a willingness to grow, couples can emerge stronger. It’s less about avoiding conflict and more about learning to navigate it together.

6 Stages of Marriage, as explained by couples therapist Shivani Sadhoo

Stage 1: The Honeymoon Phase

This is the period of excitement and idealisation. Everything feels new and thrilling, and couples often overlook imperfections as they focus on love and connection.

Stage 2: Reality Sets In

As the initial excitement fades, differences between partners become more apparent. Habits, routines, and even quirks that were previously endearing can now feel challenging.

Stage 3: The Power Struggle

Often called the toughest stage, this is when conflicts and disagreements become more frequent. Couples question whether the marriage will last and confront unresolved personal or relational issues. The emotional intensity can feel overwhelming, but it’s also a stage that provides the opportunity to build resilience and a deeper understanding if navigated consciously.

Stage 4: Rebuilding and Acceptance

After working through conflicts, couples start to regain trust and understanding. Acceptance of each other’s differences and the ability to compromise strengthen the foundation of the relationship.

Stage 5: Deep Connection

By this stage, couples often feel a profound emotional and spiritual bond. They communicate more effectively, support each other’s growth, and share a sense of partnership that goes beyond surface-level romance.

Stage 6: Legacy and Purpose

Here, couples focus on building something bigger than themselves, whether it’s family, community, or shared goals. There’s a sense of fulfilment in contributing together and leaving a lasting impact.

Identifying Your Stage

Recognising which phase your marriage is in can help you manage expectations, enhance communication, and approach challenges more intentionally. If you find yourself in Stage 3, remember that feeling tested doesn’t mean failure—it’s an opportunity for growth.

Strategies to navigate Stage 3 include:

• Seeking couples therapy or professional guidance
• Reconnecting emotionally and fostering intimacy
• Prioritising personal growth alongside relational growth
• Learning constructive conflict resolution techniques

Marriage isn’t a final destination but an ongoing journey. Each stage has its purpose, and even the toughest periods, like Stage 3, can strengthen the bond between partners when approached with patience and commitment.

For years, relationships were measured by an unattainable ideal of perfection. Social media, movies, and glossy magazines painted pictures of flawless couples—always smiling, never fighting, and seemingly living a fairy-tale life. This pursuit of perfection has often left people feeling inadequate, disconnected, or pressured to perform rather than simply be themselves. But things are changing.

In today’s world, authenticity is fast becoming more attractive than perfection. People are craving sincerity, vulnerability, and genuine connection over carefully curated images. Love that feels real is winning over love that merely looks perfect, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is a top couples therapist and one of the best marriage counsellors in Delhi and India.

Perfection Is Unrelatable

Nobody is perfect. We all carry quirks, insecurities, and struggles. When someone tries too hard to appear flawless, it can make them seem unapproachable or even inauthentic. Real life is messy, and people resonate more with imperfection because it mirrors their own reality. Showing flaws signals that you are human, just like everyone else, and makes space for true understanding.

Authenticity Builds Trust

Acting perfect often comes across as performative, as though there is something to hide. Authenticity, on the other hand, builds trust. When you are honest about mistakes or imperfections, it reassures your partner that you are genuine, which makes them feel safe and comfortable. Trust becomes the foundation on which lasting relationships are built.

Flaws Make You Unique

Conforming to society’s version of “perfect” often strips away individuality. Your imperfections are what make you memorable and different. A quirky laugh, a love for something unusual, or even awkward moments—these are the qualities that stand out and make someone fall in love with the real you. Rather than erasing flaws, embracing them adds depth and charm to your personality.

Vulnerability Invites Connection

True intimacy doesn’t come from polished perfection; it comes from vulnerability. When you are willing to admit your fears, struggles, or insecurities, you invite others to open up too. This creates a safe space for empathy and deeper connection. Vulnerability may feel uncomfortable at first, but it is often the bridge to emotional closeness.

The Illusion of Perfection Is Exhausting

Maintaining a façade of perfection demands constant energy, and it quickly becomes draining. The effort to always appear flawless leads to stress and even burnout. Authenticity, by contrast, is freeing. People are drawn to those who are comfortable in their own skin because it feels natural and effortless. Letting go of the pressure to be perfect not only brings relief but also makes relationships more sustainable.

Imperfection Fuels Growth

If perfection were possible, there would be no room for growth or self-improvement. Acknowledging flaws shows humility and self-awareness, both of which are highly attractive traits. When couples accept imperfection, they approach mistakes as opportunities to learn and evolve together rather than as failures to be hidden. Growth then becomes a shared journey, adding strength to the bond.

Sincerity Is Magnetic

Sincerity is one of the most attractive qualities a person can possess. People can sense when someone is being real and when they are performing. Acting perfectly often feels rehearsed, while sincerity is refreshing. It builds respect and warmth, allowing relationships to develop in a genuine way. This magnetism of sincerity draws people closer because it feels authentic and reliable.

Flaws Create Stories Worth Sharing

Some of the most memorable and meaningful stories come from imperfections, missteps, or unexpected turns. When people hide their flaws, they also hide these rich experiences. Imperfections bring humor, relatability, and depth to relationships. The shared laughter over awkward moments or lessons learned from failures often become the cherished stories couples carry for years.

Why Authenticity Wins in Relationships?

According to leading relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, when both partners embrace authenticity, relationships become stronger and more resilient. Trust grows because there is nothing to hide. Emotional intimacy deepens because both feel accepted as they are. Resilience develops because imperfections are not feared but faced together. Ultimately, authenticity creates the freedom to be yourself without judgment, to love without conditions, and to grow without pretending.

Conclusion: Imperfection Is Your Superpower

Perfection may appear appealing at first glance, but it is isolating and unsustainable. Authenticity nurtures trust, connection, and joy. Your quirks, flaws, and raw moments are not weaknesses—they are what make you human and lovable. In today’s world, being real has become far more magnetic than chasing perfection.

Authenticity is not just attractive; it is the foundation of love that lasts. By celebrating imperfections, sharing your stories, and embracing vulnerability, you open the door to deeper and more meaningful connections. Being flawed and sincere is not a limitation—it is your greatest strength.

Relationships are rarely perfect. Every couple experiences phases of closeness and distance, highs and lows. Yet, it’s often the little things—a warm hug, holding hands, or a gentle touch on the shoulder—that strengthen emotional bonds. Human touch plays a far more powerful role than many realize, promoting happiness, trust, and emotional security. Simple gestures like caresses, back rubs, or embraces release oxytocin, reducing stress and deepening connections.

When touch is absent for too long, a condition known as touch starvation can develop, creating feelings of isolation and distress. Recognizing its signs and learning ways to reconnect physically and emotionally is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is one of India’s top couples and marriage counselors.

Understanding Touch Starvation

Touch starvation, sometimes called “skin hunger,” occurs when the body goes without nurturing physical contact. The skin’s nerves and pressure receptors respond to touch, triggering the release of “feel-good” chemicals like oxytocin. Without it, the nervous system can become restless, increasing stress and loneliness. Over time, prolonged absence of touch can impact both emotional and psychological well-being.

Why Does Physical Touch Matter?

Humans are wired for connection. From birth, gentle touch communicates safety, love, and security. Touch continues to play a vital role throughout life, offering multiple benefits:

• Reduces Stress: Touch lowers cortisol levels, calms the nervous system, and boosts mood-regulating chemicals like dopamine and serotonin.

• Strengthens Emotional Bonds: Hugs and gentle touches release oxytocin, enhancing trust, intimacy, and positive feelings toward others.

• Promotes Physical Health: Regular nurturing touch can improve immunity and lower blood pressure.

• Supports Mental Health: Touch has been shown to ease sadness, reduce anxiety, and lift overall mood.

Even small gestures—such as holding hands, a pat on the back, or a gentle embrace—can make a profound difference.

Signs You May Be Touch-Starved

Feeling disconnected from your partner or loved ones may indicate touch starvation. Common signs include:

• Persistent Loneliness: You may feel isolated even when surrounded by loved ones if physical affection is missing.

• Mood Imbalances: Lack of touch can reduce oxytocin levels, leading to irritability, anxiety, or low mood.

• Heightened Sensitivity: When touch is scarce, even brief physical contact can feel deeply comforting and emotionally significant.

Ways to Overcome Touch Starvation

• Self-Touch and Self-Care – Self-touch, like hugging yourself or placing a hand over your heart, can provide comfort and ease stress. Practicing mindful self-care, extending compassion inward, and treating yourself with kindness are essential parts of addressing touch starvation.

• Communicate with Loved Ones – Openly expressing your need for physical affection with your partner, family, or friends can help bridge the gap. Virtual interactions, such as video calls or heartfelt conversations, can also provide emotional nourishment when in-person contact isn’t possible.

• Alternative Forms of Touch – Engaging in activities that provide tactile stimulation, such as pet therapy, massage, weighted blankets, or using stress-relief objects, can help satisfy the body’s need for touch.

• Appreciate Small Gestures – Daily, simple acts—like sitting close, sharing a gentle touch, or exchanging a meaningful glance—can strengthen intimacy and connection. Even subtle gestures contribute to emotional bonding.

• Reconnect Through Memory – Recalling past moments of affection can reinforce emotional closeness and help the mind feel the warmth of nurturing touch.

Touch is more than physical contact; it is essential emotional nourishment. When absent, it can leave individuals feeling lonely, anxious, and disconnected. However, through self-care, communication, mindfulness, and small acts of connection, touch starvation can be addressed. Rebuilding meaningful physical and emotional closeness helps restore trust, love, and well-being in relationships.