Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Summary

• Delulu in love means getting carried away by romantic fantasies and seeing deeper meaning in small gestures.
• A little optimism can make dating feel exciting, but ignoring red flags, rejection, or one-sided effort can become unhealthy.
• Enjoy the butterflies, but stay connected to reality and pay attention to genuine communication and mutual effort.

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Falling in love is magical. It always has been. But what we call that magic, and how we experience it, has changed with the times. Once upon a time, love was all about handwritten letters, stolen glances, long waits by the telephone and the innocent belief that one special person could make all the difference.

Today, love comes with dating apps, texting, Instagram, Situationships and an entirely new vocabulary for matters of the heart. And now, Gen Z has given romance yet another twist, turning what was once simply used as slang into a playful way of describing the wonderfully irrational side of falling in love. It is called ‘Delulu’.

So, Are You Delulu In Love? Eminent couples therapist, in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo answers this question and explains how this modern-day dating trend is Taking Romance to Another Level.

What Does ‘Delulu In Love’ Really Mean?

The word ‘Delulu’ is short for “delusional”. When someone is ‘Delulu in Love’, it means they are so blindly infatuated with someone that they start fantasizing about a romantic relationship, even when there may be little or no reality behind it. It describes a state of extreme idealism where you ignore obvious red flags, invent deep romantic connections out of minor interactions. A simple morning text or a polite smile or a little extra attention can make you feel special. You start believing in a love story that is unreal and exists mostly in your imagination.

“Let love inspire your imagination, but let reality guide your heart.” Says relationship and couples counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Origin of The Word ‘Delulu’

It all began with K-pop (short for Korean pop) fan slang around 2014. The word ‘Delulu’ was originally used for fans who seriously imagined dating or marrying their favourite pop stars. The term later gained popularity on other social media platforms. Today, being “delulu” in love often means happily getting carried away by romantic fantasies, even when reality may suggest otherwise.

How Does One Know if They Are ‘Delulu in Love’?

Some of the ways to know are:

1. Wishful Thinking

One of the biggest signs is when you start seeing meaning in every little thing the other person does. They appreciate your social media posts, reply to your messages promptly, flash you a cute smile or always remember your birthdays. Such sweet gestures are often enough to make you believe that there is definitely something more. But the reality is that there may be no special romantic meaning behind any of this. Sometimes a smile is just a smile. They are being nice to you. That’s all! A quick reply may simply mean they are just courteous and as for liking your social media posts, that could simply mean they enjoyed what you shared. Remembering your birthday could be a simple coincidence or they might be doing it for others as well.

2. No Real Conversations

You may spend hours imagining conversations, dates and romantic moments with someone, while barely talking to them in real life. You may even convince yourself that they understand how you feel. But a relationship cannot grow on assumptions and daydreams.

3. Ignore The Mistakes

When you are deeply in love, you may find yourself making excuses for their behaviour. You tend to ignore broken promises, cancelled plans, lies, etc. because you want the relationship to work. But if these things keep repeating, then they are not considered as small mistakes. They indicate that something is not quite right.

4. When You Chase Them Always

Love should feel mutual, not like something you have to chase. So, if you’re the one who is always calling, texting, checking in or making plans while your significant other is simply busy rejecting your ideas politely or rarely makes the same effort, it is evident that you’re more interested than they are. Love should not feel forced.

Is it Good to Be ‘Delulu in Love’?

Here a few reasons:

1. Being Optimistic

With ‘Delulu’, you tend to become bolder and more confident. Instead of overthinking every text or worrying about rejection, you allow yourself to hope, flirt and take a chance. You may read too much into a smile, but that little optimism can push you to meet someone, express your feelings and enjoy the excitement of falling in love.

2. Everything is Fine

Sometimes, being a little Delulu, that is choosing to believe things are fine instead of jumping to the worst conclusion can make dating easier. If someone takes too long to reply, you might console yourself by thinking they are busy rather than assuming that your special someone has lost interest. This kind of a positive mindset can help you staycalm and confident.

28-Sep-2026Did you know that being a little Delulu in Love can actually boost your mood and lift your spirits? When you imagine the sweet moments, replay conversations or picture a future together, your brain’s feel-good chemical (Dopamine) gets a boost. That is what makes you feel happier and lighter, even before anything serious and meaningful happens.

Is There Something Bad About Being ‘Delulu in Love’?

1. Blurred Reality

As you know, being ‘Delulu in love’ can make you see what you want to see instead of what is actually happening. You may overlook lies, poor treatment, broken promises or a lack of effort because you keep hoping things will improve. You may even make excuses for someone who repeatedly hurts you, making it harder to recognise when it is time to walk away.

2. The Unhealthy Effect

Being a little ‘Delulu in love’ can be fun which is usually harmless. But, sometimes it can even become unhealthy when fantasy takes over reality. If you keep believing someone loves you despite clear signs that they don’t, you may ignore rejection, misunderstand their behaviour and create a relationship that exists only in your mind.

3. Poor Self-esteem

What it does to your self-esteem can be quite damaging. When you keep imagining a relationship that may not exist, every small disappointment can make you question your own worth. You may withdraw from people who care about you, stop enjoying real relationships and become increasingly dependent on unreal connections just for the sake of happiness. Over time, this can leave you feeling insecure, isolated and lonely.

4. Reading Too Much

Sometimes, being “delulu” in love can make you see feelings where none exist. A smile, a quick reply or simple kindness may suddenly feel like a secret message. You may keep looking for signs, even when the other person has shown no real interest. Over time, this can lead to disappointment, obsession and difficulty accepting reality, especially after rejection.

Being a little ‘Delulu in Love’ can make romance exciting, hopeful and fun. But when fantasy starts replacing reality, it can lead to disappointment, confusion and hurt. Enjoy the butterflies, but also pay attention to what is actually happening. After all, Delulu is not always the Solulu (solution) when it comes to love!

Summary

• Potential describes who someone might become, while behaviour shows who they are today.
• Supporting personal growth is different from waiting indefinitely for someone to change.
• A healthy relationship should be evaluated by its present reality as well as its future possibilities.

Sometimes, a relationship can feel full of promise even when the present reality is complicated. You may see how caring, confident, ambitious or emotionally available your partner could become and find yourself deeply attached to that possibility.

But there is a subtle difference between supporting someone’s growth and building a relationship around who you hope they will eventually become. When the imagined future becomes more important than the person in front of you, you may find yourself loving potential rather than reality, shares Shivani Misri Sadhoo who is an eminent couples therapist in Delhi.

Why Does Relationship Potential Feel So Powerful?

Potential gives a relationship a sense of possibility. You may notice someone’s good qualities and imagine how much better the relationship could become if certain things changed.

Perhaps they communicate poorly now but you believe they will eventually open up. Maybe they avoid commitment but you expect them to become ready. Or they have qualities you love, while the behaviours that hurt you are treated as temporary.

Hope itself is not a problem. The difficulty begins when hope becomes the main reason for staying despite a consistent pattern in the present.

“You can believe in someone’s potential without making your happiness dependent on who they might become.” Cites Shivani Misri Sadhoo a Certified Gottman Level 3 Couples Therapist.

The Difference Between Potential and Reality

Every person can change and grow. However, potential is something imagined, while behaviour is something observable.

Someone may say they want to become more communicative, responsible or committed. Those intentions matter, but their repeated actions provide more information about where they currently stand.

A healthy relationship does not require someone to be perfect. It does, however, require you to recognise the person they actually are rather than constantly adjusting your expectations around who they might become.

When You Start Explaining Away Their Behaviour

One sign of the potential trap is repeatedly making excuses for behaviour that hurts you.

You might tell yourself that they are distant because they have had a difficult past, that they will become more reliable once their career settles down, or that they will eventually understand what you need.

Understanding someone’s circumstances can create empathy, but it does not automatically change the impact of their behaviour on the relationship.

You May Become Attached to the Future

When your emotional investment is based heavily on what could happen, the relationship can start feeling like a project.

Instead of enjoying the relationship as it exists, you may constantly wait for the next stage: when they become more committed, communicate better, change their priorities or finally become the partner you imagined.

This can make the present feel like something you simply have to tolerate until the future arrives.

Supporting Growth Is Different From Waiting for Change

There is an important distinction between encouraging a partner and expecting them to transform.

Supporting growth means accepting that your partner is responsible for their own choices while appreciating genuine progress. Waiting for change can mean staying emotionally invested in a version of someone that does not yet exist.

A partner can grow while remaining fundamentally themselves. You should not have to construct an entirely different version of them in your imagination to make the relationship work.

Pay Attention to Patterns, Not Promises Alone

Words can communicate intentions, but patterns reveal consistency.

If someone repeatedly says they will change but their behaviour remains unchanged, it may be useful to look at what is actually happening rather than relying solely on future promises.

This does not mean people cannot change. It simply means meaningful change is generally demonstrated through consistent behaviour over time.

Ask Yourself What You Are Experiencing Now

A useful way to reflect on a relationship is to temporarily remove the imagined future from the picture.

Consider the relationship as it exists today. Do you feel respected? Can you communicate openly? Are your needs acknowledged? Is there mutual effort? Do you enjoy the relationship beyond the hope that it will eventually become something different?

These questions can help separate genuine compatibility from attachment to potential.

Love the Person, Not Just the Possibility

Relationships naturally involve hopes, plans and dreams for the future. Wanting your partner to grow is not inherently unhealthy.

The problem arises when the future version of someone becomes the reason you tolerate an unsatisfying present. A relationship has to exist in the present, not only in the version you imagine it could become.

Recognising the difference between someone’s potential and their current reality can help you understand what you are actually choosing—and what you are simply hoping will happen.

Dating apps have changed how people in India meet and form relationships. What was once considered taboo is now widely accepted, especially among urban youth and working professionals. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and several Indian platforms promise convenience, choice, and compatibility.

However, along with opportunities for genuine connections, dating apps also carry serious risks. Being aware of common warning signs, potential dangers, and essential safety practices is crucial for anyone navigating online dating in India, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo who is an experienced couples and relationship counselor in Delhi, India.

Why Are Dating Apps in Demand in India?

Dating apps are growing rapidly in India due to changing social dynamics and digital accessibility. Young adults today value independence and prefer choosing their partners based on shared interests and personal compatibility rather than traditional matchmaking systems.

Another key factor is lifestyle change. Long working hours, remote jobs, and migration to new cities make it difficult to meet people organically. Dating apps provide a fast and convenient way to connect without relying on social circles.

Increased smartphone usage and affordable internet have also played a major role. Dating apps are no longer limited to metro cities; users from tier-2 and tier-3 cities are actively joining these platforms.

Lastly, dating apps offer flexibility and control. Users can decide whom to talk to, what information to share, and when to disengage, making online dating appealing to people who prefer privacy and autonomy.

Warning Signs and Dangers of Using Dating Apps in India

India’s leading couples therapist and relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, asks to watch out for these warning signs:

Fake Profiles and Catfishing

One of the most common risks on dating apps is encountering fake profiles. Scammers often use stolen or heavily edited photos and fabricate personal details to appear trustworthy. Over time, they build emotional connections and eventually ask for money, favors, or sensitive information.

Financial Fraud and Romance Scams

Financial scams are a serious issue in India. Fraudsters may pretend to be business professionals, army officers, or NRIs and lure users into fake investments or emergency money requests. Once emotional trust is built, victims often ignore red flags and suffer significant financial losses.

Emotional Manipulation and Harassment

Some users engage in emotional abuse through gaslighting, guilt-tripping, or pressuring matches for intimacy. Persistent messaging, controlling behavior, or pushing for explicit content are major warning signs. In extreme cases, private chats or photos may be used for blackmail or threats.

Physical Safety Risks

Meeting strangers offline carries real physical dangers. There have been reports of assault, stalking, extortion, and coercion after in-person meetings arranged via dating apps. Since most platforms do not conduct detailed background checks, users often have limited knowledge of a person’s true identity or intentions.

Privacy and Data Misuse

Sharing personal details too early can lead to privacy violations. Phone numbers, addresses, workplace information, or social media accounts can be misused for identity theft, cyberstalking, or long-term harassment.

Safety Tips for Using Dating Apps in India

Some of the best tips to follow for safety while using dating apps are:

Verify Profiles Carefully

Check for consistency in profile photos, bios, and conversation details. Profiles with very limited information or overly perfect images should be treated cautiously. Reverse image searches can help identify stolen pictures.

Never Share Financial or Sensitive Information

Avoid sharing bank details, OTPs, Aadhaar numbers, home addresses, or personal documents. No genuine match will ask for money or confidential information, especially in the early stages.

Use In-App Messaging

Stick to the app’s chat feature initially instead of shifting immediately to WhatsApp or Telegram. Dating apps provide reporting, blocking, and moderation tools that offer an extra layer of protection.

Meet Only in Public Places

For first meetings, choose well-lit, public locations such as cafés, restaurants, or malls. Inform a trusted friend or family member about your plans and avoid isolated or late-night meetups.

Trust Your Instincts

If someone rushes intimacy, avoids video calls, gives inconsistent stories, or makes you uncomfortable, disengage immediately. You do not owe politeness at the cost of your safety.

Stay Informed and Update Privacy Settings

Regularly review app privacy settings and stay aware of common online dating scams in India. Knowledge and awareness are your strongest defenses against misuse.

Dating apps can be a powerful tool for meeting new people, but they require caution and awareness. By understanding common dangers, recognizing warning signs, and following practical safety tips, users can enjoy online dating while protecting their emotional, financial, and physical well-being.

Smart decisions and strong boundaries are the key to safe and meaningful connections in the digital dating world.

Check out popular blog post on Dating Apps

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Arranged marriages have been a cornerstone of Indian culture for generations. Unlike love marriages, where partners choose each other independently, arranged marriages involve the active role of families in finding a suitable match. While this process ensures compatibility in terms of background, values, and lifestyle, the task of building a personal connection lies entirely with the couple.

For many, the initial phase of an arranged marriage can be daunting, especially when navigating conversations with someone who is practically a stranger but soon to become a life partner. Effective communication is key to bridging this gap and fostering a bond. Here’s a guide to help you communicate effectively with your fiancé, with a special focus on the Indian context as explained by India’s top couples therapist and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What Is an Arranged Marriage?

An arranged marriage is a union where families take the lead in identifying a potential partner for their child. In India, this practice is deeply rooted in tradition and cultural values. Families often consider factors such as caste, religion, social status, education, and family reputation before proposing a match.

However, modern arranged marriages have evolved significantly. Today, individuals play a more active role in the decision-making process, with families encouraging them to interact and assess compatibility before committing. This blend of traditional values and personal choice creates a unique dynamic in arranged marriages, emphasizing the importance of communication.

Tips for Talking to Your Fiancé in the Indian Context

1. Understand the Role of Family Dynamics

In Indian arranged marriages, families are often closely involved in the couple’s lives. When speaking with your fiancé, discuss their family structure, traditions, and expectations. Questions like:

“What role do your parents and siblings play in important decisions?”

“How do you envision balancing family responsibilities after marriage?”
can help you gauge their perspective and align your expectations.

2. Discuss Cultural Values and Beliefs

Cultural values play a significant role in Indian marriages. Whether it’s about religious practices, festivals, or food preferences, understanding these aspects can strengthen your bond. Ask questions like:

“What traditions do you celebrate with your family?”

“Are there any cultural practices you feel strongly about?”

3. Address Lifestyle Compatibility

In the Indian context, lifestyle compatibility often extends beyond individual preferences to family expectations. Topics like living arrangements (joint family or nuclear family) and work-life balance are crucial. For example:

“Do you prefer living in a joint family or having a separate setup?”

“How do you manage your work and personal commitments?”

4. Be Mindful of Sensitive Topics

While sensitive topics such as finances, children, or career aspirations are universal in marriage discussions, their implications in India are often influenced by cultural norms. When broaching these subjects, be tactful and respectful. For instance:

Instead of directly asking, “How much do you earn?” Try, “What are your thoughts on financial planning as a couple?”

5. Explore Personal Preferences and Interests

To build rapport, delve into their interests and passions. This not only makes conversations more engaging but also reveals their personality. Ask about:

Hobbies, such as reading, traveling, or sports.

Favorite cuisines or movies.

Showing genuine interest in their likes and dislikes can help build an emotional connection.

6. Clarify Future Goals

In Indian arranged marriages, long-term goals are often intertwined with family priorities. Discuss topics like:

Career aspirations and their alignment with family expectations.

Plans for relocating, especially if one partner may need to move cities or countries.

7. Be Honest About Your Expectations

Transparency is critical. Share your expectations regarding independence, personal space, and your role in the family. For instance:

8. Respect Regional and Cultural Differences

India’s diversity means that even within arranged marriages, couples might come from different states, communities, or linguistic backgrounds. Learning about your fiancé’s regional customs can demonstrate respect and effort toward understanding their roots.

Building a Bridge Between Tradition and Modernity

In the Indian context, arranged marriages are not just about two individuals but a union of families. However, the success of this bond depends on how well the couple communicates and understands each other.

By addressing crucial topics like family values, lifestyle choices, and future goals, while also taking the time to know each other personally, you can create a relationship that blends tradition with modern understanding.

Remember, patience, empathy, and openness are the keys to turning an arranged match into a meaningful partnership.

Intimacy is a cornerstone of any relationship, but men and women experience and express it differently. These differences are rooted in emotional, physical, and psychological factors that shape their desires and expectations.

Below are five key points each on what men and women want in intimacy, shedding light on their unique perspectives as explained by one of the leading marriage counselors in India Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this article.

What Men Want in Intimacy?

Some of the things men want are:

Initiating  Physical Intimacy

Men often prefer to take the lead in initiating physical intimacy. This stems from a combination of biological factors like higher testosterone levels and a desire to feel confident and wanted in the relationship.

Physical Connection as a Primary Need

Men frequently associate intimacy with physical touch and connection.  Physical activities like hugging, and other forms of physical affection are vital for them to feel loved and emotionally close to their partner.

Respect and Appreciation

Feeling respected and appreciated by their partner significantly enhances a man’s sense of intimacy. Compliments, acknowledgment of their efforts, and expressions of admiration make them feel valued.

Simple and Direct Communication

Men often prefer clear and straightforward communication when it comes to emotional or intimate needs. Subtle cues or hints can be overlooked, so direct conversations help them feel more connected and assured.

Bonding Through Activities

Engaging in shared activities, such as sports, hobbies, or even working on a project together, is a way men build intimacy. These moments of teamwork or companionship make them feel closer to their partner.

What Women Want in Intimacy?

A few things women desire are:

Emotional Connection Before Physical Intimacy

For many women, emotional intimacy is a prerequisite for physical closeness. Feeling understood, supported, and secure in the relationship creates the foundation for a deeper connection.

Affection Beyond the Bedroom

Women appreciate consistent acts of affection that aren’t necessarily tied to physical intimacy. Holding hands, cuddling, and thoughtful gestures help them feel loved and valued in everyday moments.

Quality Time and Undivided Attention

Women often place high importance on spending meaningful time together. Uninterrupted conversations, shared experiences, and moments of togetherness foster emotional closeness.

Being Heard and Validated

Women want their thoughts and feelings to be genuinely heard and validated. A partner who listens with empathy and acknowledges their emotions helps build trust and intimacy.

Consistency and Reassurance

Consistency in behavior and emotional availability is crucial for women. Knowing they can rely on their partner’s love and support gives them the confidence to open up fully.

Bridging the Gap

Men’s tendency to initiate physical intimacy and women’s need for emotional connection before physical closeness can sometimes create misunderstandings. However, these differences are complementary when couples communicate openly.

For instance, a woman can appreciate her partner’s desire to initiate intimacy, while a man can focus on creating an emotionally secure environment for his partner.

Understanding what men and women want in intimacy reveals how their needs, though distinct, often align to form a balanced and fulfilling relationship.

By respecting each other’s perspectives—whether it’s through emotional connection, physical affection, or acts of love—couples can strengthen their bond and create lasting intimacy. Embracing these differences not only enhances understanding but also deepens the connection that lies at the heart of a strong relationship.

For many couples, infidelity is a devastating experience. When a partner admits to cheating, it can shatter trust and put the relationship at serious risk, whether dating, engaged, or married. While the media often portrays men as the usual cheaters, the gap between men’s and women’s infidelity has narrowed significantly over the years.

According to data from the 2022 Global Social Survey (GSS) by the University of Chicago, about 20% of men and 13% of women confessed to cheating on their spouse. Another survey by YouGov in 2019 reported similar results, with 20% of men and 10% of women admitting to infidelity. Over recent decades, the number of women who cheat has steadily risen, showing a clear shift. But even with these statistics, one key question lingers: Why do women cheat?

Why Do Women Cheat?

Marriage counsellor Shivani Sadhoo says the rise in women’s infidelity is often linked to the changing roles and independence that modern women experience. With more financial freedom and career opportunities than in past generations, many women feel empowered and open to exploring choices that weren’t as accessible before. As women gain autonomy, expectations for marriage have shifted, moving from traditional roles to a desire for deeper emotional connection, happiness, and friendship within the relationship.

Additionally, relationship dynamics tend to shift over time, making it harder for long-term partners to fulfill all of each other’s needs. Today, many people look for a partner who aligns with them in terms of emotional intelligence, career achievements, lifestyle, and shared goals. As these individual needs evolve, some may seek affirmation or connection outside the relationship, especially when feelings of being desired or appreciated become less accessible in a long-term partnership.

Why Women Cheat: 7 Key Factors

Delhi’s leading marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares seven factors that make women cheat.

Emotional Disconnection

Emotional intimacy is often a foundation in relationships, and when it fades, women may feel isolated or neglected. If they aren’t feeling supported, heard, or valued by their partner, the need for emotional closeness might lead them to seek it elsewhere.

Lack of Physical Intimacy

A drop in physical intimacy can make women feel less desirable and connected. This void, especially in long-term relationships, may prompt them to look outside the relationship for the affirmation and warmth they miss.

Seeking Validation

Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and when self-esteem dips, some women may seek validation from others to feel attractive and valued. This need for reassurance can be especially compelling if they aren’t receiving it within their primary relationship.

Opportunity and Independence

With increasing financial and social independence, women have more freedom and agency than previous generations. The ability to make their own choices can sometimes extend to exploring options outside their relationship when needs aren’t met.

Boredom or Stagnation

Routine can dull the excitement that once defined a relationship. When things start feeling predictable and unstimulating, women may be tempted to find new excitement and passion in a different connection.

Resentment or Revenge

Unresolved hurts or betrayals, whether related to infidelity or other breaches of trust, can cause feelings of resentment. For some women, infidelity may seem like a way to “even the score” or address the pain they’ve experienced.

Curiosity and Personal Growth

Sometimes, women may feel the need to explore or grow beyond their current relationship, especially if they feel it’s limiting. The urge to understand themselves in different scenarios or meet new people can lead to actions outside their relationship.

Cheating is never a justified choice—it’s always better to end a relationship before starting something new. However, understanding why women may be unfaithful can be insightful. Most reasons for infidelity often point back to unmet needs within the relationship. Focusing on maintaining a strong connection and ensuring both partners feel fulfilled can be essential in keeping the partnership healthy.

When you love someone deeply, betrayal is the last thing you expect. Infidelity leaves lasting emotional scars, and while both men and women can be unfaithful, studies show men tend to cheat more often.

Why do men cheat?

The reasons vary, from seeking novelty to dissatisfaction in their current relationship. However, a significant factor behind infidelity is emotional immaturity. Men who cheat often lack the emotional depth required for a committed relationship. This article, featuring insights from Delhi and Gurgaon’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, explores why emotionally immature men are more likely to stray.

Avoids Responsibility

Emotionally immature men tend to avoid responsibility, which is a major factor in why they cheat. They struggle to take accountability for their actions, often shifting blame or making excuses. This creates a pattern where they dodge key responsibilities in life, such as commitments in relationships or careers. Cheating, for them, becomes an easy escape from the challenges of maintaining a healthy, committed relationship.

Lack of Impulse Control

Men who are emotionally immature often struggle with managing their impulses. Their inability to regulate their emotions can lead to poor decision-making, especially in relationships. Instead of handling stress or conflict rationally, they act on impulse, seeking short-term thrills without considering the long-term consequences. This impulsiveness makes them more likely to cheat, as they react without thinking about the harm they’re causing.

Lack of Empathy

Empathy—the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings—is often lacking in emotionally immature men. They prioritize their own needs and desires, rarely considering how their actions affect others. This detachment leads them to act dishonestly and dismissively, making them more prone to infidelity. Without empathy, they fail to recognize the emotional damage they inflict on their partners.

Low Self-Esteem

Emotionally immature men often mask deep-seated self-esteem issues with arrogance. This arrogance stems from a need for control and validation, which they often seek through cheating. Their low self-esteem makes them impulsive, as they are driven by a desire to feel superior or powerful. These men seek external affirmation to compensate for their emotional vulnerabilities, further perpetuating their harmful behaviors.

Inconsistent Behavior

Inconsistent behavior is a common trait among emotionally immature men. They often make grand promises one day, only to disregard them the next. This lack of stability creates emotional turmoil for their partners. Their impulsiveness and failure to follow through on commitments make trust impossible to build. This inconsistency also makes cheating more likely, as they prioritize fleeting desires over maintaining the integrity of their relationship.

Resistance to Growth

Emotional growth is essential in life, but immature men resist it. They refuse to acknowledge their flaws or work on self-improvement, remaining stuck in their comfort zones. This resistance to growth leads them to act on impulse, ignoring the long-term impact of their decisions. Instead of learning from their mistakes, they continue to repeat them, making infidelity more likely. Their lack of emotional depth prevents them from forming lasting, meaningful connections.

Emotional immaturity is a significant driver of infidelity in men. Their avoidance of responsibility, lack of impulse control, empathy, self-esteem, and inconsistency contribute to their inability to maintain committed relationships. Without emotional growth, they remain trapped in destructive patterns, causing lasting harm to those they claim to love.

Gone are the days when we celebrated milestones privately with friends and family. Social media has transformed how we connect, and now a simple post or story often replaces intimate gatherings. While social media offers a convenient way to share our lives, it can blur the lines between what should remain private and what we choose to make public.

What things should you not post about your relationship on social media?

Relationship expert and Delhi’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, warns against oversharing, as it can sometimes harm the very relationships we’re trying to celebrate. Here are six things you should avoid sharing about your relationship online:

Avoid Seeking External Validation

Your relationship doesn’t need public approval to be meaningful. Constantly posting about it for likes or comments can add unnecessary pressure and reflect insecurity. Healthy relationships thrive privately without the need for a social media audience. Sharing too much can force emotions to grow based on external validation rather than letting love develop naturally between you two.

Get Your Partner’s Consent

Sharing photos or personal details about your partner without their approval can invade their privacy. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you can share everything publicly. Always ask for your partner’s consent before tagging them in posts or sharing pictures. Respecting their comfort level is crucial to building trust and ensuring they feel valued. By doing so, you also strengthen your bond by showing that their opinions matter.

Don’t Post About Conflicts

Every relationship has disagreements, but venting about arguments on social media is a bad idea. Sharing conflicts publicly can hurt your partner and lead others to form negative opinions about your relationship. Online advice from friends, though well-meaning, may also cause more harm than good. Instead, resolve issues privately with your partner. Posting in moments of anger can lead to regret and long-term damage to the relationship.

Don’t Brag About Gifts

While it’s exciting to receive gifts, constantly posting them on social media can come across as bragging. Your partner might prefer to keep these moments private and may feel uncomfortable with the attention. Plus, trying to make your relationship appear more extravagant than it is can create pressure and unrealistic expectations. Instead of sharing every gift online, cherish these moments together without seeking validation from others.

Limit Frequent Status Updates

Constantly updating your relationship status online—whether it’s changing from single to in a relationship or making it “complicated”—can create unnecessary pressure. While it may feel gratifying at the moment, these updates often reflect instability and invite unwanted opinions from others. Focus on nurturing your relationship privately rather than publicly broadcasting each shift in your love life. What truly matters is the bond you share, not how others perceive it.

Don’t Post About Your Breakup

Breakups are hard enough without adding the complexity of social media. Posting about a breakup can lead to endless questions and amplify your feelings of sadness. Not everyone will respond positively, and you may regret sharing such a personal event. Instead, focus on healing privately and avoid publicizing the details of your breakup.

Let your relationship thrive away from the public eye. Avoid seeking external validation, sharing conflicts, or posting frequent updates. Respect your partner’s privacy and cherish special moments privately. Remember, the strength of your relationship lies in the bond you share, not in how it appears on social media.

Relationships thrive on trust, love, and mutual respect. But sometimes, infidelity can creep in, leaving deep emotional scars. Discovering a partner’s betrayal is devastating, yet many are left confused, unsure if their suspicions are valid. Noticing certain behavioural changes can help you uncover the truth. Top marriage counsellor in Delhi and Gurgaon Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 telltale signs that your partner may be cheating.

What are the sure-shot signs of a cheating partner?

Too Secretive – Has your partner become overly protective of their digital devices? While personal space is important, sudden secrecy raises red flags. If they’ve changed passwords, hide their phone, or avoid answering questions about their whereabouts, it may indicate they have something to conceal.

When someone who was once open suddenly becomes evasive, it’s often a sign of inappropriate interactions or hidden conversations.

Unexplainably Unreachable – Is your partner suddenly unavailable at times when they used to be easy to reach? Consistent excuses like “meetings,” “dead zones,” or late work hours could be masking something deeper. If their once-predictable communication patterns have changed drastically, especially during late hours or business trips, trust your instincts—these could be signs of infidelity.

Sudden Focus on Appearance – A sudden, intense focus on appearance—new clothes, gym routines, or grooming habits—can indicate they’re trying to impress someone else. While self-improvement is normal, if it’s paired with defensiveness or secrecy, you may have reason to be concerned. This behavior, especially when accompanied by other suspicious actions, is a telltale sign that something could be wrong.

Emotional Disconnect – Has your once emotionally connected partner grown distant? If they used to confide in you but now avoid deep conversations, it may indicate they’re emotionally checked out of the relationship. Emotional withdrawal often accompanies infidelity, leaving you feeling disconnected and uncertain about where you stand. Addressing this growing gap early is vital for the health of the relationship.

Constant Lies – Lies are often a cover for cheating, as maintaining a web of deceit becomes harder over time. Inconsistencies in their stories, vague excuses, and defensive reactions, when questioned, can be signs of dishonesty. If you notice constant lying, especially when they avoid providing evidence or become evasive, it’s a red flag that something is wrong.

These signs—secrecy, unreachability, sudden focus on appearance, emotional disconnect, and constant lies—are often indicators of infidelity. Open communication is essential to address suspicions and preserve trust in your relationship. Recognizing these signs early can help you confront the issue and decide the best way forward.

One of the major reasons that couples come to counselling is either one or both partners feeling unloved.

Marriage Counselor Shivani says lots of people, specifically those who have been with their partners for a long time and have been doing things a similar way for a while coming for help as they feel their partner never expresses love, appreciation, or affection and, as a result, they do not feel wanted or cared for.

But mostly, the problem is quite much to do with how affection is being expressed as anything else.

Everyone has a different method of showing someone that he/she cares about them. This may be called your ‘love language. This blog by India’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares how you can express affection to your special one.

The Common 5 Love Languages

Counselor Shivani says the main ‘love languages’ people often use are:

• Giving Gifts. This may include buying even flowers or chocolates. Physical items intended to please your partner and show you have been thinking about them.
• Carrying Out Kind Acts. This might be something such as cleaning the home for your partner or picking up the shopping. Small (or big!) gestures to make your partner happy.
• Spending Quality Time Together. This may be putting aside a full evening to spend in each other’s company so you can actually reconnect.
• Physical Touch. This might be walking or sitting alone holding hands, giving hugs, or receiving a neck or shoulder massage. Sensual gestures to make your partner feel physically closer together.
• Saying Good Things to Each Other. This may include paying compliments such as your hair looks nice’, ‘I really like you in that dress’, ‘you are a really very talented or simple affirmation of how you feel about each other. 

Majorly people have just one or two main ‘love languages’ that they usually speak – through which they express affection and that they mostly appreciate and understand when ‘spoken’ to them.

So, if someone feels that spending quality time with each other is the most natural way of expressing and forming affection may really appreciate it if their partner plans aside an evening for them to go on a date or have dinner. Or somebody who feels close to their partner when being touched physically may really enjoy a light massage at home.

Likewise, one usually has one or two methods of expressing affection that do not mean all that much to you – probably receiving gifts does not really do it for you, or you can go a little extra without dedicated quality time. 

Where Do You Learn Your ‘Love Language’?

How one expresses affection is mostly hugely influenced by what you learnt growing up. If your family likes spending plenty of quality time together, for example, you may value the same things in your partner. If there was an embarrassment at expressing feelings verbally or physically, this could continue into adulthood. But there are no real hard and fast formulas or rules, you may make a choice to do things differently in your adult relationships. In the end, you express affection the way you do because that is what makes the most sense to you.

When You Speak Different Languages

If you and your significant other are speaking different ‘love languages’ without realizing it, that is when there can be room for miscommunication besides dissatisfaction.

You may both end up feeling like the other one doesn’t say or do anything to show they truly care and may end up thinking about whether they care at all.

For example, if someone really values kind acts, but their partner’s methods of expressing love are, say, buying gifts, they might feel like they are not having their needs or desires met. Similarly, their partner could feel the bunch of flowers they bought was a really nice gesture of showing they care, but was put out by their spouse’s underwhelmed reaction.

Over time, this sort of miscommunication may really drive a wedge in a relationship. Both partners may begin to feel they are doing all they can, but that it is still not sufficient to make each other happy and content. As a result, they can begin to feel bitter and resentful.  

How Can You Address This?

For a relationship to be healthy you both the partners need to understand each other’s needs.  

You and your partner probably need to explore how you both feel most comfortable expressing and receiving affection. If you think you may find this conversation difficult, you may like to think about the following:

• Give It Time and Space. Never try to talk when one of you is busy, exhausted, or getting ready to go out. Set aside a time when you will be able to talk uninterrupted. It can also be a wise idea to choose nice, comfortable surroundings, in the living room with a cup of tea, for example.
• Focus on Feelings. You probably like to use lots of ‘I’ while you speak ‘I sometimes feel’, ‘I do not always know how to” instead of ‘you’ language: ‘You mostly make me feel’, ‘You never seem to”. That way, you are taking responsibility for your emotions and your significant other is less likely to feel like they are being blamed for things.
• Start on a Positive. At times, it can help to start by focussing on what you like about the relationship: ‘I love that we can rely on each other for the big stuff, but I was thinking we could talk about some day-to-day stuff. This can get things off to a more positive beginning and help your partner understand you are not simply trying to get at them.

For plenty of couples, discovering that they and their spouse are speaking different love languages is a real lightbulb moment. They could have been feeling poles apart, but suddenly realize they do love each other. It is just that the messages have not been getting through.

How We Can Help

If you think you and your partner could do with seeking help, talking about any of the above, Relationship Counselling at Saarthi Counselling Services can be a great way to have conversations that you may otherwise find difficult.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, or emotional and psychological challenges.