Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Intimacy is a cornerstone of any relationship, but men and women experience and express it differently. These differences are rooted in emotional, physical, and psychological factors that shape their desires and expectations.

Below are five key points each on what men and women want in intimacy, shedding light on their unique perspectives as explained by one of the leading marriage counselors in India Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this article.

What Men Want in Intimacy?

Some of the things men want are:

Initiating  Physical Intimacy

Men often prefer to take the lead in initiating physical intimacy. This stems from a combination of biological factors like higher testosterone levels and a desire to feel confident and wanted in the relationship.

Physical Connection as a Primary Need

Men frequently associate intimacy with physical touch and connection.  Physical activities like hugging, and other forms of physical affection are vital for them to feel loved and emotionally close to their partner.

Respect and Appreciation

Feeling respected and appreciated by their partner significantly enhances a man’s sense of intimacy. Compliments, acknowledgment of their efforts, and expressions of admiration make them feel valued.

Simple and Direct Communication

Men often prefer clear and straightforward communication when it comes to emotional or intimate needs. Subtle cues or hints can be overlooked, so direct conversations help them feel more connected and assured.

Bonding Through Activities

Engaging in shared activities, such as sports, hobbies, or even working on a project together, is a way men build intimacy. These moments of teamwork or companionship make them feel closer to their partner.

What Women Want in Intimacy?

A few things women desire are:

Emotional Connection Before Physical Intimacy

For many women, emotional intimacy is a prerequisite for physical closeness. Feeling understood, supported, and secure in the relationship creates the foundation for a deeper connection.

Affection Beyond the Bedroom

Women appreciate consistent acts of affection that aren’t necessarily tied to physical intimacy. Holding hands, cuddling, and thoughtful gestures help them feel loved and valued in everyday moments.

Quality Time and Undivided Attention

Women often place high importance on spending meaningful time together. Uninterrupted conversations, shared experiences, and moments of togetherness foster emotional closeness.

Being Heard and Validated

Women want their thoughts and feelings to be genuinely heard and validated. A partner who listens with empathy and acknowledges their emotions helps build trust and intimacy.

Consistency and Reassurance

Consistency in behavior and emotional availability is crucial for women. Knowing they can rely on their partner’s love and support gives them the confidence to open up fully.

Bridging the Gap

Men’s tendency to initiate physical intimacy and women’s need for emotional connection before physical closeness can sometimes create misunderstandings. However, these differences are complementary when couples communicate openly.

For instance, a woman can appreciate her partner’s desire to initiate intimacy, while a man can focus on creating an emotionally secure environment for his partner.

Understanding what men and women want in intimacy reveals how their needs, though distinct, often align to form a balanced and fulfilling relationship.

By respecting each other’s perspectives—whether it’s through emotional connection, physical affection, or acts of love—couples can strengthen their bond and create lasting intimacy. Embracing these differences not only enhances understanding but also deepens the connection that lies at the heart of a strong relationship.

For many couples, infidelity is a devastating experience. When a partner admits to cheating, it can shatter trust and put the relationship at serious risk, whether dating, engaged, or married. While the media often portrays men as the usual cheaters, the gap between men’s and women’s infidelity has narrowed significantly over the years.

According to data from the 2022 Global Social Survey (GSS) by the University of Chicago, about 20% of men and 13% of women confessed to cheating on their spouse. Another survey by YouGov in 2019 reported similar results, with 20% of men and 10% of women admitting to infidelity. Over recent decades, the number of women who cheat has steadily risen, showing a clear shift. But even with these statistics, one key question lingers: Why do women cheat?

Why Do Women Cheat?

Marriage counsellor Shivani Sadhoo says the rise in women’s infidelity is often linked to the changing roles and independence that modern women experience. With more financial freedom and career opportunities than in past generations, many women feel empowered and open to exploring choices that weren’t as accessible before. As women gain autonomy, expectations for marriage have shifted, moving from traditional roles to a desire for deeper emotional connection, happiness, and friendship within the relationship.

Additionally, relationship dynamics tend to shift over time, making it harder for long-term partners to fulfill all of each other’s needs. Today, many people look for a partner who aligns with them in terms of emotional intelligence, career achievements, lifestyle, and shared goals. As these individual needs evolve, some may seek affirmation or connection outside the relationship, especially when feelings of being desired or appreciated become less accessible in a long-term partnership.

Why Women Cheat: 7 Key Factors

Delhi’s leading marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares seven factors that make women cheat.

Emotional Disconnection

Emotional intimacy is often a foundation in relationships, and when it fades, women may feel isolated or neglected. If they aren’t feeling supported, heard, or valued by their partner, the need for emotional closeness might lead them to seek it elsewhere.

Lack of Physical Intimacy

A drop in physical intimacy can make women feel less desirable and connected. This void, especially in long-term relationships, may prompt them to look outside the relationship for the affirmation and warmth they miss.

Seeking Validation

Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and when self-esteem dips, some women may seek validation from others to feel attractive and valued. This need for reassurance can be especially compelling if they aren’t receiving it within their primary relationship.

Opportunity and Independence

With increasing financial and social independence, women have more freedom and agency than previous generations. The ability to make their own choices can sometimes extend to exploring options outside their relationship when needs aren’t met.

Boredom or Stagnation

Routine can dull the excitement that once defined a relationship. When things start feeling predictable and unstimulating, women may be tempted to find new excitement and passion in a different connection.

Resentment or Revenge

Unresolved hurts or betrayals, whether related to infidelity or other breaches of trust, can cause feelings of resentment. For some women, infidelity may seem like a way to “even the score” or address the pain they’ve experienced.

Curiosity and Personal Growth

Sometimes, women may feel the need to explore or grow beyond their current relationship, especially if they feel it’s limiting. The urge to understand themselves in different scenarios or meet new people can lead to actions outside their relationship.

Cheating is never a justified choice—it’s always better to end a relationship before starting something new. However, understanding why women may be unfaithful can be insightful. Most reasons for infidelity often point back to unmet needs within the relationship. Focusing on maintaining a strong connection and ensuring both partners feel fulfilled can be essential in keeping the partnership healthy.

When you love someone deeply, betrayal is the last thing you expect. Infidelity leaves lasting emotional scars, and while both men and women can be unfaithful, studies show men tend to cheat more often.

Why do men cheat?

The reasons vary, from seeking novelty to dissatisfaction in their current relationship. However, a significant factor behind infidelity is emotional immaturity. Men who cheat often lack the emotional depth required for a committed relationship. This article, featuring insights from Delhi and Gurgaon’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, explores why emotionally immature men are more likely to stray.

Avoids Responsibility

Emotionally immature men tend to avoid responsibility, which is a major factor in why they cheat. They struggle to take accountability for their actions, often shifting blame or making excuses. This creates a pattern where they dodge key responsibilities in life, such as commitments in relationships or careers. Cheating, for them, becomes an easy escape from the challenges of maintaining a healthy, committed relationship.

Lack of Impulse Control

Men who are emotionally immature often struggle with managing their impulses. Their inability to regulate their emotions can lead to poor decision-making, especially in relationships. Instead of handling stress or conflict rationally, they act on impulse, seeking short-term thrills without considering the long-term consequences. This impulsiveness makes them more likely to cheat, as they react without thinking about the harm they’re causing.

Lack of Empathy

Empathy—the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings—is often lacking in emotionally immature men. They prioritize their own needs and desires, rarely considering how their actions affect others. This detachment leads them to act dishonestly and dismissively, making them more prone to infidelity. Without empathy, they fail to recognize the emotional damage they inflict on their partners.

Low Self-Esteem

Emotionally immature men often mask deep-seated self-esteem issues with arrogance. This arrogance stems from a need for control and validation, which they often seek through cheating. Their low self-esteem makes them impulsive, as they are driven by a desire to feel superior or powerful. These men seek external affirmation to compensate for their emotional vulnerabilities, further perpetuating their harmful behaviors.

Inconsistent Behavior

Inconsistent behavior is a common trait among emotionally immature men. They often make grand promises one day, only to disregard them the next. This lack of stability creates emotional turmoil for their partners. Their impulsiveness and failure to follow through on commitments make trust impossible to build. This inconsistency also makes cheating more likely, as they prioritize fleeting desires over maintaining the integrity of their relationship.

Resistance to Growth

Emotional growth is essential in life, but immature men resist it. They refuse to acknowledge their flaws or work on self-improvement, remaining stuck in their comfort zones. This resistance to growth leads them to act on impulse, ignoring the long-term impact of their decisions. Instead of learning from their mistakes, they continue to repeat them, making infidelity more likely. Their lack of emotional depth prevents them from forming lasting, meaningful connections.

Emotional immaturity is a significant driver of infidelity in men. Their avoidance of responsibility, lack of impulse control, empathy, self-esteem, and inconsistency contribute to their inability to maintain committed relationships. Without emotional growth, they remain trapped in destructive patterns, causing lasting harm to those they claim to love.

Gone are the days when we celebrated milestones privately with friends and family. Social media has transformed how we connect, and now a simple post or story often replaces intimate gatherings. While social media offers a convenient way to share our lives, it can blur the lines between what should remain private and what we choose to make public.

What things should you not post about your relationship on social media?

Relationship expert and Delhi’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, warns against oversharing, as it can sometimes harm the very relationships we’re trying to celebrate. Here are six things you should avoid sharing about your relationship online:

Avoid Seeking External Validation

Your relationship doesn’t need public approval to be meaningful. Constantly posting about it for likes or comments can add unnecessary pressure and reflect insecurity. Healthy relationships thrive privately without the need for a social media audience. Sharing too much can force emotions to grow based on external validation rather than letting love develop naturally between you two.

Get Your Partner’s Consent

Sharing photos or personal details about your partner without their approval can invade their privacy. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you can share everything publicly. Always ask for your partner’s consent before tagging them in posts or sharing pictures. Respecting their comfort level is crucial to building trust and ensuring they feel valued. By doing so, you also strengthen your bond by showing that their opinions matter.

Don’t Post About Conflicts

Every relationship has disagreements, but venting about arguments on social media is a bad idea. Sharing conflicts publicly can hurt your partner and lead others to form negative opinions about your relationship. Online advice from friends, though well-meaning, may also cause more harm than good. Instead, resolve issues privately with your partner. Posting in moments of anger can lead to regret and long-term damage to the relationship.

Don’t Brag About Gifts

While it’s exciting to receive gifts, constantly posting them on social media can come across as bragging. Your partner might prefer to keep these moments private and may feel uncomfortable with the attention. Plus, trying to make your relationship appear more extravagant than it is can create pressure and unrealistic expectations. Instead of sharing every gift online, cherish these moments together without seeking validation from others.

Limit Frequent Status Updates

Constantly updating your relationship status online—whether it’s changing from single to in a relationship or making it “complicated”—can create unnecessary pressure. While it may feel gratifying at the moment, these updates often reflect instability and invite unwanted opinions from others. Focus on nurturing your relationship privately rather than publicly broadcasting each shift in your love life. What truly matters is the bond you share, not how others perceive it.

Don’t Post About Your Breakup

Breakups are hard enough without adding the complexity of social media. Posting about a breakup can lead to endless questions and amplify your feelings of sadness. Not everyone will respond positively, and you may regret sharing such a personal event. Instead, focus on healing privately and avoid publicizing the details of your breakup.

Let your relationship thrive away from the public eye. Avoid seeking external validation, sharing conflicts, or posting frequent updates. Respect your partner’s privacy and cherish special moments privately. Remember, the strength of your relationship lies in the bond you share, not in how it appears on social media.

Relationships thrive on trust, love, and mutual respect. But sometimes, infidelity can creep in, leaving deep emotional scars. Discovering a partner’s betrayal is devastating, yet many are left confused, unsure if their suspicions are valid. Noticing certain behavioural changes can help you uncover the truth. Top marriage counsellor in Delhi and Gurgaon Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 telltale signs that your partner may be cheating.

What are the sure-shot signs of a cheating partner?

Too Secretive – Has your partner become overly protective of their digital devices? While personal space is important, sudden secrecy raises red flags. If they’ve changed passwords, hide their phone, or avoid answering questions about their whereabouts, it may indicate they have something to conceal.

When someone who was once open suddenly becomes evasive, it’s often a sign of inappropriate interactions or hidden conversations.

Unexplainably Unreachable – Is your partner suddenly unavailable at times when they used to be easy to reach? Consistent excuses like “meetings,” “dead zones,” or late work hours could be masking something deeper. If their once-predictable communication patterns have changed drastically, especially during late hours or business trips, trust your instincts—these could be signs of infidelity.

Sudden Focus on Appearance – A sudden, intense focus on appearance—new clothes, gym routines, or grooming habits—can indicate they’re trying to impress someone else. While self-improvement is normal, if it’s paired with defensiveness or secrecy, you may have reason to be concerned. This behavior, especially when accompanied by other suspicious actions, is a telltale sign that something could be wrong.

Emotional Disconnect – Has your once emotionally connected partner grown distant? If they used to confide in you but now avoid deep conversations, it may indicate they’re emotionally checked out of the relationship. Emotional withdrawal often accompanies infidelity, leaving you feeling disconnected and uncertain about where you stand. Addressing this growing gap early is vital for the health of the relationship.

Constant Lies – Lies are often a cover for cheating, as maintaining a web of deceit becomes harder over time. Inconsistencies in their stories, vague excuses, and defensive reactions, when questioned, can be signs of dishonesty. If you notice constant lying, especially when they avoid providing evidence or become evasive, it’s a red flag that something is wrong.

These signs—secrecy, unreachability, sudden focus on appearance, emotional disconnect, and constant lies—are often indicators of infidelity. Open communication is essential to address suspicions and preserve trust in your relationship. Recognizing these signs early can help you confront the issue and decide the best way forward.

One of the major reasons that couples come to counselling is either one or both partners feeling unloved.

Marriage Counselor Shivani says lots of people, specifically those who have been with their partners for a long time and have been doing things a similar way for a while coming for help as they feel their partner never expresses love, appreciation, or affection and, as a result, they do not feel wanted or cared for.

But mostly, the problem is quite much to do with how affection is being expressed as anything else.

Everyone has a different method of showing someone that he/she cares about them. This may be called your ‘love language. This blog by India’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares how you can express affection to your special one.

The Common 5 Love Languages

Counselor Shivani says the main ‘love languages’ people often use are:

• Giving Gifts. This may include buying even flowers or chocolates. Physical items intended to please your partner and show you have been thinking about them.
• Carrying Out Kind Acts. This might be something such as cleaning the home for your partner or picking up the shopping. Small (or big!) gestures to make your partner happy.
• Spending Quality Time Together. This may be putting aside a full evening to spend in each other’s company so you can actually reconnect.
• Physical Touch. This might be walking or sitting alone holding hands, giving hugs, or receiving a neck or shoulder massage. Sensual gestures to make your partner feel physically closer together.
• Saying Good Things to Each Other. This may include paying compliments such as your hair looks nice’, ‘I really like you in that dress’, ‘you are a really very talented or simple affirmation of how you feel about each other. 

Majorly people have just one or two main ‘love languages’ that they usually speak – through which they express affection and that they mostly appreciate and understand when ‘spoken’ to them.

So, if someone feels that spending quality time with each other is the most natural way of expressing and forming affection may really appreciate it if their partner plans aside an evening for them to go on a date or have dinner. Or somebody who feels close to their partner when being touched physically may really enjoy a light massage at home.

Likewise, one usually has one or two methods of expressing affection that do not mean all that much to you – probably receiving gifts does not really do it for you, or you can go a little extra without dedicated quality time. 

Where Do You Learn Your ‘Love Language’?

How one expresses affection is mostly hugely influenced by what you learnt growing up. If your family likes spending plenty of quality time together, for example, you may value the same things in your partner. If there was an embarrassment at expressing feelings verbally or physically, this could continue into adulthood. But there are no real hard and fast formulas or rules, you may make a choice to do things differently in your adult relationships. In the end, you express affection the way you do because that is what makes the most sense to you.

When You Speak Different Languages

If you and your significant other are speaking different ‘love languages’ without realizing it, that is when there can be room for miscommunication besides dissatisfaction.

You may both end up feeling like the other one doesn’t say or do anything to show they truly care and may end up thinking about whether they care at all.

For example, if someone really values kind acts, but their partner’s methods of expressing love are, say, buying gifts, they might feel like they are not having their needs or desires met. Similarly, their partner could feel the bunch of flowers they bought was a really nice gesture of showing they care, but was put out by their spouse’s underwhelmed reaction.

Over time, this sort of miscommunication may really drive a wedge in a relationship. Both partners may begin to feel they are doing all they can, but that it is still not sufficient to make each other happy and content. As a result, they can begin to feel bitter and resentful.  

How Can You Address This?

For a relationship to be healthy you both the partners need to understand each other’s needs.  

You and your partner probably need to explore how you both feel most comfortable expressing and receiving affection. If you think you may find this conversation difficult, you may like to think about the following:

• Give It Time and Space. Never try to talk when one of you is busy, exhausted, or getting ready to go out. Set aside a time when you will be able to talk uninterrupted. It can also be a wise idea to choose nice, comfortable surroundings, in the living room with a cup of tea, for example.
• Focus on Feelings. You probably like to use lots of ‘I’ while you speak ‘I sometimes feel’, ‘I do not always know how to” instead of ‘you’ language: ‘You mostly make me feel’, ‘You never seem to”. That way, you are taking responsibility for your emotions and your significant other is less likely to feel like they are being blamed for things.
• Start on a Positive. At times, it can help to start by focussing on what you like about the relationship: ‘I love that we can rely on each other for the big stuff, but I was thinking we could talk about some day-to-day stuff. This can get things off to a more positive beginning and help your partner understand you are not simply trying to get at them.

For plenty of couples, discovering that they and their spouse are speaking different love languages is a real lightbulb moment. They could have been feeling poles apart, but suddenly realize they do love each other. It is just that the messages have not been getting through.

How We Can Help

If you think you and your partner could do with seeking help, talking about any of the above, Relationship Counselling at Saarthi Counselling Services can be a great way to have conversations that you may otherwise find difficult.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, or emotional and psychological challenges.

Is Your Partner or You an Over-communicator? Things You Need to Consider Says Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Anything in excess or over is always harmful. As a relationship counsellor and couples therapist, one works with their clients on improving their communication. Sometimes it has been found that one or both partners get into patterns of over-communicating, where they are sharing their entire feelings and thoughts about themselves and their partner. Telling your spouse everything you think, feel, and need is not necessarily a healthy communication form.

Your partner might feel unable to meet your demands and it could seem to them that you are making them accountable for your own reactions and behavior. You could feel like you are having the same conversations, going over similar arguments with no resolution. Your partner might get emotionally drained by all your communication and begin to withdraw or go silent. This might leave you feeling ignored or rejected, and as a result, you may chase your partner even more vigorously with your communication, which makes things worse.

In this blog, Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says if you are an over-communicator, what can you do to get your needs fulfilled and to improve the bonding with your partner?

Look Within Yourself

It is impossible for any relationship to fulfill all your needs. Getting clear on what you require and what you feel is missing for you is an ideal place to start. Is it about emotional support, financial security, excitement, and stimulation? It is really up to you to take responsibility for your own needs and your partner is there to help you in that process.

Be Respectful

Are you truly communicating in a way that is respectful to your partner? Being respectful of their time and their own needs and feelings, just as you would with a colleague or friend, creates mutual respect. Getting into an emotional list of demands as soon as your partner walks through the door or late at night when they are trying to go to bed, does neither you nor your partner show any courtesy. Selecting a time and a place that suits you both is what is required to set-up effective communication and a happier and stronger relationship.

Controlling Anxiety

If one is anxious, he/she may try to feel better by sharing all their feelings and over-communicating. This can be anxiety-provoking for your spouse and consequently, they might shut down or withdraw. This can then create the pattern of you over-communicating and your partner withdrawing. Learning to manage or control your anxiety is an essential skill in relationships and can decrease this pursuit-avoidance communication pattern.

Calm Down and Reflect

When talking is not solving the problem, be ready to walk away for the moment and take some time out to calm down and reflect. When you are running high on adrenalin, it is difficult to see a solution to the problem. Taking some time for yourself can help you think about the issue in a separate way and look at what you are responsible for. What is your part in solving this problem? Stop focusing on your partner and what you think they are doing incorrectly and start looking at the patterns in your own behavior. This is where change starts.

Communication issues do not need to damage your relationship. Working with a professional counselor at Saarthi Counseling Services can support you in forming a positive communication style, where both partners feel heard, validated, and valued. Contact marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo now to start communicating in an effective and positive way for both you and your partner. Let’s talk before it’s too late.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

It takes Two to Tango, as the saying goes. This perfectly fits the bill for a relationship to flourish. A relationship is a journey where two individuals need to live and grow in sync.

Marriage Counselor Shivani says a one-sided relationship has dire consequences for your emotional and even physical health. Once you are in one, it is very difficult to feel emotionally secure. You are constantly trying to make the relationship something that it could never be.

This conflict makes pave for stress, and stress hormones cause physical side effects including anxiety, depression, difficulty sleeping, hypervigilance, irritability and overall feeling internally keyed up. One-sided relationships take a huge toll, and yet mostly continue far longer than they ought to be.

In this blog, India’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo is saying to take a moment to think if your relationship is one-sided and, if yes, look to overcome this pattern by trying out the things given below.

Counselor Shivani says here are some of the signs that indicate your relationship is one-sided

·       You never feel safe within the relationship.

·       You over-analyze and second-guess your partner’s real motives.

·       You always feel you are lacking in some way.

·       You always initiate deepening the relationship, to no avail.

·       You do not share your real feelings with your partner.

·       You feel empty post your interactions.

·       You do the entire work to maintain the relationship.

·       You believe you have already invested excessively in the relationship that you have to make it to keep alive and cannot leave.

·       You feel that your relationship is a house of cards.

·       You feel that your self-esteem depends as long as the relationship lasts.

·       You do not feel genuinely known by your partner.

·       You make excuses for your partner.

·       You are fearful of upsetting your partner or of causing conflict.

·       You settle for small bursts of connection although you crave more intimacy from your partner.

·       You worry about the time you will see or talk to your partner again.

·       You are always distracted by your relationship dynamics and hence, cannot focus on other dimensions of your life or be present in them.

·       You enjoy moments with your partner, but once the interaction is over, you feel alone and lonely.

·       You are not growing as an individual.

·       You are not genuine with your partner because you look to ensure he/she stays happy with you.

·       If you express yourself, your spouse turns the tables on you and you end up with a feeling that you are the cause of the entire problem in your relationship.

Counselor Shivani says if you identify or feel familiar with more of these signs then you would like, begin undoing the pattern by attempting this exercise. Ask yourself the given questions and be brutally honest with yourself:

·       How many times have you repeated this pattern of one-sided relationships in your life?

·       Did you ever have a one-sided relationship with a parent/friend/caregiver while growing up (in which it was always more about those than it was about you)?

·       Can you see a relationship in which your needs were met, and how well that felt to you, or imagine how that may feel if you were in one?

·       What keeps you acting so hard and not allowing go or moving onto something more emotionally fulfilling?

·       If you are working to feel secure and complete, look for if there is another way to get these very normal basic needs met.

·       If you were to call off the relationship, how would you fill the void in a manner that would be deeper and more fulfilling for you?

·       Are you working to without availing on something that drains out your energy and resources without much or any payoff for you?

·       Do one-sided relationships show your lack of self-esteem? Are you coupling with individuals or people who keep you stuck not feeling so great about yourself?

·       What could you do that will provide more and fill your part more than this relationship?

·       Can you begin to identify when you are overworking in the relationship and rather step back and let it go?

It may sound bitter or uncomfortable. But uncoupling from one-sided relationships demands work but it is possible. The initial step is to recognize that you are in one. The next is to start considering other methods you can feel good about yourself and what you need, separate from your relationship, to have a pleasant life.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Things to Do If You Feel That You and Your Partner Are Always Playing the Blame Games Share leading Couples Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

When you are in a relationship, it is quite easy to shift all the blame on your partner even if you know it is not completely their fault. After all, nobody ever truly wants to be wrong. But when you are in a relationship, it is essential to sacrifice being correct for the good of the relationship. If you don’t, marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says the blame game can damage your relationship.

Blaming, specifically the constant blaming is a quite unhealthy communication style and mostly leads to one fighting unfairly and bringing in the past into the present arguments.

Playing the blame game is quite common. But that does not make it healthy. In fact, relationship expert Shivani says blaming is never a positive thing and is generally a sign of an unhealthy relationship dynamic. This can vary from everyday things to major things. More often than not, it is not about the ‘what’ you are blamed for, but rather the ‘why’ you are being blamed or needing to blame. For example, if one partner has a difficult time owning up to their mistakes, he/she will push the accountability on someone else.

Nothing positive can ever really come out of blaming your other half. So in this blog, India’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo say what you can do to stop the blame game from sabotaging your relationship.

Identify When You Are Being Blamed And Discuss It

If one of you feels like you are being blamed for something, bring this up. Reach to the root of why your spouse is making you feel like you have done something wrong. Make it known and grab it as soon as possible. When left unattended, it can start to become a pattern in the relationship that is seen as normal. Patterns of blaming could lead to unhealthy and potentially toxic relationship styles. To prevent getting stuck in a blame game cycle, never call your partner out on it. Use “I” statements rather, such as “I feel like you are blaming me for something and I need to understand why.

Always Remind Yourself That Your Partner Is Not You

Sometimes all it takes is a small shift in mindset. Accepting that your partner is distinct from you can be an essential reframing. So always remind yourself, your partner is different, not necessarily wrong. Then, have a calm discussion in an attempt to understand where your partner is coming from. If you don’t, it’s normal to end the discussion by agreeing to disagree.

Talk Honestly About Your Expectations

When couples find themselves engulfed in the blame game, it is mostly because they and/or their spouse have implicit expectations about specific things that must be happening in the relationship or the manner that their partner must or must not be behaving. It is essential to remember that your partner is not a mind reader. They may assume to know what you need, but they won’t ever really know unless you openly let them know. Recognizing what these expectations are, and voicing them to your partner is crucial in breaking this pattern. A conversation about the expectations can help to put the blame game on the backtrack.

Active Listening

Be open, curious, and truly listen to your partner. As difficult as it might be, do not say anything while your partner shares their side of the story. If you provide them an opportunity to speak and actually listen to what they are saying, you can avoid a big argument.

Practice Gratitude

The antidote to criticism and blaming is to opt to focus on enjoying each other more. When everything’s annoying, that is a litmus test that is telling you are not focusing enough on positive input. So, practice gratitude. Think about all the various things you love about your partner every day and express your appreciation. When you continuously see your partner in a good light, you are less possibly to blame, criticize, or lash out in hurtful ways.

Know That You Cannot Control How Your Partner Reacts, But You Can Control Yourself

The simplest way to get stuck playing the blame game is to keep throwing accusations to and fro. While you cannot control what your partner says or does, but you can control yourself. It’s essential to remember that you are still individuals, two individuals who together make up one couple. You still have the right to speak up, shift away from a situation that you do not like, or simply leave altogether.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.