Category Archive : best marriage counselor in Delhi

Your Love Language, How You Can Express Affection?

One of the major reasons that couples come to counseling is either one or both partners feeling unloved.

Marriage Counselor Shivani says lots of people, specifically those who have been with their partners for a long time and have been doing things the similar way for a while coming for help as they feel their partner never expresses love, appreciation, or affection and, as a result, they do not feel wanted or cared for.

But mostly, the problem is quite much to do with how affection is being expressed as anything else.

Everyone has a different method of showing someone that he/she cares about them. This may be called your ‘love language.

This blog by India’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares how you can express affection to your special one.

The Common 5 Love Languages

Counselor Shivani says the main ‘love languages’ people often use are:

  • Giving Gifts. This may include buying even flowers or chocolates. Physical items intended to please your partner and show you have been thinking about them.
  • Carrying Out Kind Acts. This might be something such as cleaning the home for your partner or picking up the shopping. Small (or big!) gestures to make your partner happy.
  • Spending Quality Time Together. This may be putting aside a full evening to spend in each other’s company so you can actually reconnect.
  • Physical Touch. This might be walking or sitting alone holding hands, giving hugs, receiving a neck or shoulder massage. Sensual gestures to make your partner feel physically closer together.
  • Saying Good Things to Each Other. This may include paying compliments such as your hair looks nice’, ‘I really like you in that dress’, ‘you are a really very talented or simple affirmation of how you feel about each other. 

Majorly people have just one or two mains ‘love languages’ that they usually speak – through which they express affection and that they mostly appreciate and understand when ‘spoken’ to them.

So, if someone feels that spending quality time with each other is the most natural way of expressing and forming affection may really appreciate it if their partner plans aside an evening for them to go on a date or have dinner. Or somebody who feels close to their partner when being touched physically may really enjoy a light massage at home.

Likewise, one usually has one or two methods of expressing the affection that does not mean all that much to you – probably receiving gifts does not really do it for you, or you can go a little extra without dedicated quality time. 

Where Do You Learn Your ‘Love Language’?

How one expresses affection is mostly hugely influenced by what you learnt growing up. If your family liked spending plenty of quality time together, for example, you may value the same things in your partner. If there was an embarrassment at expressing feelings verbally or physically, this could continue into adulthood. But there are no real hard and fast formulas or rules, you may make a choice to do things differently in your adult relationships. In the end, you express affection the way you do because that is what makes the most sense to you.

When You Speak Different Languages

If you and your significant other are speaking different ‘love languages’ without realizing it, that is when there can be room for miscommunication besides dissatisfaction.

You may both end up feeling like the other one doesn’t say or do anything to show they truly care and may end up thinking whether they care at all.

For example, if someone really values kind acts, but their partner’s methods of expressing love are, say, buying gifts, they might feel like they are not having their needs or desires met. Similarly, their partner could feel the bunch of flowers they bought was a really nice gesture of showing they care, but was put out by their spouse’s underwhelmed reaction.

Over time, this sort of miscommunication may really drive a wedge in a relationship. Both partners may begin to feel they are doing all they can, but that it is still not sufficient to make each other happy and content. As a result, they can begin to feel bitter and resentful.  

How Can You Address This?

For a relationship to be healthy you both the partners need to understand each other’s needs.  

You and your partner probably need to explore how you both feel most comfortable expressing and receiving affection. If you think you may find this conversation difficult, you may like to think about the following:

  • Give It Time and Space. Never try to talk when one of you is busy, exhausted, or getting ready to go out. Set aside a time when you will be able to talk uninterrupted. It can also be a wise idea to choose nice, comfortable surroundings, in the living room with a cup of tea, for example.
  • Focus on Feelings. You probably like to use lots of ‘I’ while you speak ‘I sometimes feel’, ‘I do not always know how to” instead of ‘you’ language: ‘You mostly make me feel’, ‘You never seem to”. That way, you are taking responsibility for your emotions and your significant other is less likely to feel like they are being blamed for things.
  • Start on a Positive. At times, it can help to start by focussing on what you like about the relationship: ‘I love that we can rely on each other for the big stuff, but I was thinking we could talk about some day-to-day stuff. This can get things off to a more positive beginning and help your partner understand you are not simply trying to get at them.

For plenty of couples, discovering that they and their spouse are speaking different love languages is a real lightbulb moment. They could have been feeling poles apart, but suddenly realize they do love each other. It is just that the messages have not been getting through.

How We Can Help

If you think you and your partner could do with seeking help, talking about any of the above, Relationship Counselling at Saarthi Counselling Services can be a great way for having conversations that you may otherwise find difficult.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Do You Find It Difficult to Approach Your Partner After a Fight? Marriage Counselor Shivani Sadhoo Reveals How to Break the Silence Post a Fight with Your Partner

While being in a relationship and never having a fight with your partner is virtually impossible. Constructive criticism or healthy arguments or fights help couples to sort out their problems and voice their pent-up emotions, thereby addressing those issues that can otherwise create havoc in a couple’s life. However, plenty of things depend on how a couple behaves post a fight and, specifically, how they break the awkward silence post their heated arguments.

So, here are a few tips being shared by Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo to start a conversation with your partner after a fight.

Send a Romantic Text

Well thanks to the technology, there are several ways to start a conversation these days. Specifically, if you are feeling too awkward to come face to face or talk with your spouse after a fight, you can always take the assistance of your phone to send him or her a sweet and romantic message. You can write about how much this relationship and your partner mean to you. But do not react or get angry if you do not get a response immediately to your message. Be happy that you made an effort to break the ice and that is really praiseworthy.

Give a Call

The next step post sending a message is to look for your phone and call your spouse, irrespective of whether he or she has responded to your message or not. The best manner to start the conversation is by exchanging pleasantries, although it will not be so easy to do that post an awkward silence following the fight. However, you must avoid playing the blame game as it will only aggravate the situation more.

Apologize

No matter how serious a fight could be, an apology can do magic to repair the damage it may have caused to your relationship. It is always wise to stand up to your mistakes and saying sorry is the best method to start a conversation with your partner. Remember, merely apologizing is not sufficient if you do not mean it. It would be a nice gesture if you could furnish the apology with a token of love, may a gift or chocolates and even a handwritten note can brighten up your partner’s mood after that ugly fight.

Plan an Outing

You all must have felt at times how your environment is saturated by your emotions, for instance, post a fight it is not surprising to feel as if the whole horizon is filled with negativity. It is quite normal. So, a change in the scene could be helpful if you wish to initiate talks after a lovers’ tiff. How about planning a date or dinner at your favorite eating joint?

The Tried and Tested Way of Starting Afresh the Next Day

At times, perhaps doing things the traditional way could be a big transformation. You can try sorting the differences by using some old tricks. How about starting afresh the next day? Treat a new day as a fresh start and approach it as you would otherwise do when you do not fight with your spouse. Maybe, prepare your beloved’s favorite dish for breakfast and kick start the day with a warm and hearty good morning.

Take Help

The silence between partners is more damaging than fights. Sometimes, couples build such impregnable walls between them that it becomes literally impossible to get over those to offer the olive branch to your partner. Under such situations, it is always wise to take help from a reliable and trustworthy person or a professional counselor if these things are repeated patterns. To break the ice or, in this case, the stubborn wall of silence. Taking the help of a marriage counselor can also help couples address their issues and encourage them to talk about problems that they otherwise keep under the carpet.

The Two Fs

Perhaps the best one and is mostly done by couples who have really long relationships. This is the best mantra for a successful reconciliation post a fight—forgive and forget i.e., the two Fs. If you wish to pick up the threads of a relationship post a quarrel with your spouse, first you need to learn to forgive and forget. And only when you do that, you can help each other to get past your differences and bolster the relationship. Also, it becomes easy to talk to a partner when you have forgiven him or her, right? But you should also remember to forgive yourself because sometimes you are so engulfed in self-guilt and pity post a fight that it becomes next to impossible to pour your heart out after that incident.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Tricky Relationship Signs, that Subtly Indicates One Must Run

Some couples break up for the most trivial things, while others continue fighting for their relationships not noticing that the entire energy they are consuming is actually going to waste. Well, neither of those is correct because the first is a misjudgment of their partner while the other one tends to create toxic tension. The true secret lies in the fact that there are certain mistakes that are forgivable, and others that are quite difficult to let pass simply like that.

While most of you might think that major break-up reasons might be normally, obvious and easy to spot, the reality is that they actually are not. Yes, some circumstances or characteristics could be so subtle that you would not even notice the fact that they are alarming bells for you to pay attention to.

This blog by Delhi’s Top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about some unclear and tricky signs of a relationship that can act as an alarm for you. Here, they are.

Your Partner is Unbelievably Charming and there is Nothing Wrong with them

Excessive charm is generally not good for your relationship’s health. Charm seems to hide bigger issues behind an individual’s personality especially when it is constant or excessive. Yes, it feels good in the beginning, but it is also a big red flag that must get you asking yourself, “Then what are your flaws?”. Even in stories, when a girl meets the flawless man of her dreams, he most probably turns out to be some shady character in the end. You are not being asked to look for the drama, but the effort is to draw your attention towards the fact that too much concealing of a person’s natural and spontaneous traits can lead to big shocks in the end. It is either they are hiding certain things behind this constant sweetness, or they are lying about something. If not any amongst those, then also run because sooner or later, he/she is probably going to get bored of the charming role they are playing and will mistreat you as you had never imagined.

You Quit Fighting

It’s quite common that fighting a lot is one of the big break-up reasons. What might be misunderstood, is that not fighting or arguing at all is a good sign. No, no one is telling you to be a drama queen. Healthy relationships always consist of healthy discussions and arguments. It is a normal phenomenon that indicates how two individuals are always in search of common ground to meet on. When one stops mentioning what may annoy you in a relationship, you may think that you have become more mature. However, it is a sign that you no longer look for solutions, but rather care less about the entire thing. If this happens a lot, it will eventually lead you to stop caring completely, and therefore, you must consider a break-up. This is by time, you’d have reached your complete capacity and would lose interest in your relationship.

You are on Your Partner’s Waiting List of Priorities

It will not be stated clearly. It would be indicated in actions. No matter how much you are told you are important to your partner, you would find him/her always acting otherwise. Work, family, friends always take priority over you. A person who keeps you as an option will tend to make you feel guilty and inconsiderate of his/her busy schedule. This is, definitely, ladies and gentlemen, the art of turning tables. A partner who is not as caring as he/she should be would focus on blaming you rather than trying to make things up to you. Occasionally, you would find him/her forgetting about important events/dates or missing out on gatherings they know are important to you.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Is Your Partner or You an Over- Communicator? Things You Need to Consider Says Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Anything in excess or over is always harmful. As a relationship counselor and couples therapist, one works with their clients on improving their communication. Sometimes it has been found that one or both partners get into patterns of over-communicating, where they are sharing their entire feelings and thoughts about themselves and their partner. Telling your spouse everything you think, feel, and need is not necessarily a healthy communication form. Your partner might feel unable to meet your demands and it could seem to them that you are making them accountable for your own reactions and behavior. You could feel like you are having the same conversations, going over similar arguments with no resolution. Your partner might get emotionally drained by all your communication and begin to withdraw or go silent. This might leave you feeling ignored or rejected, and as a result, you may chase your partner even more vigorously with your communication, which makes things worse.

In this blog, Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says if you are an over-communicator, what can you do to get your needs fulfilled and to improve the bonding with your partner?

Look Within Yourself

It is impossible for any relationship to fulfill all your needs. Getting clear on what you require and what you feel is missing for you is an ideal place to start. Is it about emotional support, financial security, excitement, and stimulation? It is really up to you to take responsibility for your own needs and your partner is there to help you in that process.

Be Respectful

Are you truly communicating in a way that is respectful to your partner? Being respectful of their time and their own needs and feelings, just as you would with a colleague or friend, creates mutual respect. Getting into an emotional list of demands as soon as your partner walks through the door or late at night when they are trying to go to bed, does neither you nor your partner show any courtesy. Selecting a time and a place that suits you both is what is required to set-up effective communication and a happier and stronger relationship.

Controlling Anxiety

If one is anxious, he/she may try to feel better by sharing all their feelings and over-communicating. This can be anxiety-provoking for your spouse and consequently, they might shut down or withdraw. This can then create the pattern of you over-communicating and your partner withdrawing. Learning to manage or control your anxiety is an essential skill in relationships and can decrease this pursuit-avoidance communication pattern.

Calm Down and Reflect

When talking is not solving the problem, be ready to walk away for the moment and take some time out to calm down and reflect. When you are running high on adrenalin, it is difficult to see a solution to the problem. Taking some time for yourself can help you in thinking about the issue in a separate way and looking at what you are responsible for. What is your part in making this problem? Stop focusing on your partner and what you think they are doing incorrectly and start looking at the patterns in your own behavior. This is where change starts.

Communication issues do not need to damage your relationship. Working with a professional counselor at Saarthi Counseling Services can support you to form a positive communication style, where both partners feel heard, validated, and valued. Contact marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo now to start communicating in an effective and positive way for both you and your partner. Let’s talk before it’s too late.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Do You Find it Hard to Forgive and Forget Someone? Here Are Some Ways that Will Truly Let you Forgive and Forget

It is a very common phenomenon when someone says they are not able to forgive or forget a specific incident specifically when it involves a relationship. Letting go is often the most difficult thing to accomplish. You may have heard that forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Perhaps because forgiving is not easy, specifically, when some deeds do not appear worthy of forgiveness. However, the difficult work is worth it. It has been seen that positive psychology has found forgiveness can be helpful in dealing with symptoms of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Forgiving can give personal peace and also improve physical health. How? Because forgiveness is not just about making other person feel good about their transgressions. It is also, about lightening the mental weight that their transgressions have left upon you. This lightening impact is not simply metaphorical.

In the year of 2014 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, 160 persons were divided into three groups. One group mentioned an incident in which they had been gravely hurt, but decided to forgive their offender; another group said about a time in which they are yet to forgiven an offender, and a control group mentioned a neutral interaction with a friend. All those participants were then guided through a mock fitness drill in which they had to jump as high as they could five times. The participants who had said about forgiveness jumped significantly higher compared to those in the unforgiving set.

Are you amongst those who find it hard to forgive or forget? This blog by Delhi’s Top Psychologist, Marriage Counselor, and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo says here are some ways that will truly let you forgive and forget.

Bring to Light

Be absolute honest with yourself about your anger and pain, and analyze the complete damage the injustice has caused in your life. If your parent made you feel inadequate while growing up, does your self-esteem still suffers? Do you search for love and validation in an unhealthy manner?

Determine

You need to make the conscious decision to forgive those who harmed you, and give up on any vengeful conduct on your part. If an office colleague once stole an idea of yours, say, and you have been denying him/her credit on other projects ever since this is time to change your method. The negativity and anger you stick to would not do you any good in the long run.

Act

It takes work to understand and empathize with a person who has hurt you. Here you need to ask yourself a certain question: What was life like for this individual while growing up? What psychological wounds he/she might be nursing? What added pressures or stresses was the individual experiencing at that moment he/she offended you? Then thought of a small gift, if you could offer that person. It could be a simple smile, a handshake or a hug, a returned phone call or message, or simply more tolerance the next moment you are with them. Bear in mind, though, that forgiveness and reconciliation are never the same. If you were living or are in an abusive relationship of any sort, your forgiveness might and should come from afar.

Discover

Look for meaning and purpose in what you have been through. How could you help others who may be hurting? If you have been a victim of any physical or mental bias, for instance, you may decide to become more active in some humanitarian issues. In the emotional relief of letting it go, you can even discover the paradox of forgiveness: As you give to others the gifts of mercy, kindness, generosity, and moral love, you yourself get healed.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Reasons Why Listening Boosts Relationships

If you are not driving, you are sleeping, and if you are at work you are texting, writing e-mails and talking, but rarely listening, means actually, listening.

Listening seems to be a declining skill because listening means absolute listening and nothing else Not thinking of tomorrow’s activity, the “To Do” list and the growing message inbox.

Relationship Experts Shivani says listening is such a passive act that several of you simply do not do it.

Some studies have indicated that one typically remembers merely 25 to 30% of what one hears. However, ‘Active Listening’ can enhance that figure enormously. One of the methods to use ‘Active Listening’ is to remember the mostly-used expression that “eyes and ears must be used in the same proportion they have been allocated to you.”

In today’s digital world one seems to be constantly playing catch up with voice calls, e-mails, meetings, and ever-expanding tight deadlines. As a result, one seems to be “broadcasting” all the time but quite rarely listening to what is essential.

The kids tend to watch television whilst texting their friends and doing homework. How do they do that? Actually, the answer is that they cannot do all those things well at the same time.

So, is it that essential? Yes, it is. If one doesn’t truly listen one does not get the actual message being communicated. If one doesn’t get the real message then one can’t act appropriately.

If you really want to boost relationships and grow your business then you have to work towards good listening. Here are some of the reasons shared by Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo why listening boosts relationships.

You Can Gain Information

If you listen, truly listen; you can learn things about the person, be it your spouse, kids or colleague, their aspirations, their fears, their work, and what you may be able to help them with.

There is so much of the spoken meanings are hidden in inflection, tone, and expression, so listening is critical for understanding and gaining information. And as you all know, information is power. It lets you fashion the necessary responses and strategy to assist the person to whom you are listening.

Increases Your Accuracy

When you listen genuinely, you have a better recollection of vital facts and issues.

This can result in fewer miscommunications and errors and makes you more efficient and have more value in your relationships both personal and professional ones.

You Build Trust

When you give your entire attention to the persons expressing thoughts and experiences that are essential to them, they are possibly to see you as a person who really thinks and cares about them.

When you are obviously paying attention to that person and you refrain from interjecting opinions, judgments, and advice, or finishing their sentences, you are seen as someone who cares and can be truly trusted with their information and confidence. This develops trust and later on bonding.

You Form A Relationship

When you listen properly to the other individual’s point of view a real conversation can arise. A meaningful and informed conversation can take place rather than sound bites being chosen and conclusions jumped too. When this genuine interaction takes place, you naturally form a relationship.

The biggest problem in today’s hectic world is that one does not often bother to listen to things carefully, as a result, more friction takes place. Because others perceive that you do not have time for them. This is often the beginning of a collapsing relationship. So, when you are in conversation, let’s be certain to do everything you can to make sure you are being an Active Listener.

It is active listening which leads to solid relationships and relationships are built through several human attributes. At the base of these attributes is LISTENING.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Do You Know That Crying, Has Its Own Benefits?

Is crying beneficial for you? The answer is yes. While crying is expected in babies and young kids, whether it is because of pain, anger, fear, lack of communication skills, or any other reasons—adults also cry from time to time. On average, women cry more than 5 times per month and men cry at least once a month. These crying episodes vary anywhere from having tears well up in the eyes or complete sobbing. Psychologist Shivani says, in addition to emotional tears, your body also utilizes tears to physically protect the eyes from harm.

There are 3 kinds of tears each having different purposes. Crying has both emotional and physical benefits, and your body has several ways of producing tears to achieve those benefits. The physical benefits of crying include keeping your eyes lubricated, clean as tears wash away debris and germs that may damage your eye or cause infection. While many a time the emotional tears could provide relief from stress. The three kinds of tears include:

Basal tears: These tears stay continuously in your eyes and maintain eye health. It lubricates your eyes and protects your cornea.

Reflex tears: These also protect your eyes; your body utilizes them to flush out things, like the stray eyelash, dust, smoke, and also the fumes from onions.

Emotional tears: Your body produces tears in response to several emotional states: not just sadness, but also during happiness and fear.

Let us find out the benefits of crying here in the blog, by Delhi’s top psychologist and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Emotional Tears Might Help Your Body Release Stress

Psycho-emotional tears contain no physical benefits for the health of your eyes. But emotional tears might flush out stress hormones and other toxins from your body. Some studies have found higher concentrations of specific proteins in emotional tears than in basal or reflex tears. Although more research is required for conclusive evidence, some hypothesize that emotional tears purge the body of stress-related substances.

Crying in a Supportive Environment Makes One Feel Better

Emotional tears could also be a communication tool for adults, suggesting a need for social support. When someone cries with a close friend or a family member nearby, the person mostly feels better after crying. That social support can assist the person resolve a conflict or help the person who is crying better understand the event that occurred that caused the tears. This results in an individual feeling better after crying. In contrast, persons who try to avoid crying or who cry and do not receive social support are less probably to feel better.

Tears of Children Indicates a Need for Care

While it might be frustrating for adults, it is essential for children to cry, for their physical and emotional health. Without hearing an infant cry, parents and caregivers may not immediately know that the baby requires the assistance of some sort, be it is emotional comfort or some other type of care. Babies and kids also cry because of pain as a non-verbal mode to request the care of an adult.

Some Emotional Tears Signal When It Is Time to Seek Professional Help

Frequent emotional crying could be a sign that the person requires to call a professional for help with a mental health issue, like depression. Other signs of depression include feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness; problem sleeping or sleeping excessively, having difficulty making decisions; losing interest in kinds of stuff that were once pleasurable; and thoughts of suicide. When frequent crying is accompanied by other signs of depression, call a professional.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Times When It’s Better Not to Communicate in Your Relationships

The generation of our parents placed a high value on “being strong” and tackling problems internally rather than rapidly talking and sharing with others when they are troubled.  The “strong silent sort” was a very attractive characteristic to that specific generation, specifically, in males. Our past generations lived through terrible deprivation as kids mainly because of the trauma of wars, a weak economy, and other uncertainties as young adults. Most of that generation lived with considerable deprivation, uncertainty, and loss. One imagines that the value for being strong and silent was a very worthy coping mechanism to assist them to deal with the depth of suffering that most of us now living now, have never experienced on a national scale. Those who have experienced personal trauma or loss would be an exception.

Communication Is Quite Valuable but Not Always Beneficial

The generation we are now in, places a high value on communicating feelings, communicating for deep understanding and connection. There are people who now places a very high value on communicating in openness, transparency, and love as critical ingredients to intimate relationships. Although honest and vulnerable communication is usually, highly beneficial to healthy relationships, not all issues can be resolved through communication. Counselor Shivani says, there are times when it is better to stay silent than to communicate. Certainly, there is a risk in going too far to one extreme or another on the spectrum of communicating or staying silent.

This blog from India’s Top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares when it is better to be silent in your relationship.

Complaining and Criticizing that is Classified as Verbal Processing/Just Venting

Doing it will only be disastrous to you, to your relationship, and to the person you are criticizing. It is very much more life-giving to approach a conversation having the idea of trying to make things better instead of pointing out the other one’s faults. If you have to talk to a third party about a problem with an acquaintance, then have the discussion about getting ideas to improve the circumstances.

Communicating Negative Thoughts and Feelings about Another Individual

Normally, it is not wise to quickly communicate negative thoughts and feelings that you have about another person. Instead, it is good to look inside first to see if part of the problem is yours to deal with. You need to own and manage your own stuff first. When you have completed this first step, and the interpersonal issues remain, then it is good to talk and work out the issues as best you can.

Sometimes you adopt the wrong idea that another person is obligated to change if you communicate that “your feelings are hurt” by something they have done or if you communicate that you “need” something from them. While it can be quite valuable to a relationship to communicate how you experience the relationship, the idea that the other individual is obligated to adapt to your feelings can easily make a relationship where the other person is controlled by your feelings rather than by what is better for the relationship.

Communication that Creates Heated Conflict

Waiting for the best time to communicate related to the problems can make the difference between bringing understanding and link or creating more conflict. When things get heated and emotionally intense simply waiting until both individuals have had time to calm down can be hard but critical to having a fruitful discussion. Conflict resolution could be very difficult until you communicate with the proper mindset, that is, the mindset that you want the best solution to be the result rather than you need to be right or you need to have things to be done your way.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.


Is Your Partner Avoidant? Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo Reveals Ways to Increase Communication and Intimacy with an Avoidant Partner

Avoidant partners create distance, restrict communication and fly below the radar in romantic relationships. These things can leave partners feeling confused, unimportant, frustrated, and abandoned.

Avoidant partner’s distancing strategies mostly have deep historical roots. Some avoidant partners might have grown up repeatedly feeling overwhelmed by sheer pressure from parents to be a certain way. Others might have gotten messages that it was not good to say no to a parent or authority figure.

Oftentimes as child avoidant partners’ emotions were discouraged or not reflected by a parent. This child may have felt he/she is a disappointment to a parent.

Counselor Shivani says after repeatedly attempting unsuccessfully to win a parent’s approval, some kids tend to hedge their bets or finally give up. As adults, they can unwittingly carry that template of disappointment to their relationships in a manner they may not fully realize.

Though avoidant partners might seem cool or unfeeling, studies have shown that people with an avoidant style are simply as emotionally anxious as those on the opposite end of the horizon who have an anxious attachment style.

Partners having an anxious style worry they will not meet their own needs and seek another person to do so. Avoidant partners have the opposite fear that no one else will ever meet their expectations so they conclude they can simply depend on themselves. Feeling on their own, they keep their distance in hopes of minimizing the inevitable disappointments they fear.

Despite their fears, individuals who take an avoidant stance in relationships, if properly motivated and with their partner’s help, can become more open to greater intimacy, communication besides closeness.

If you opt to be with a partner having an avoidant style, here are some approaches shared by India’s Top Marriage Counselor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo which stresses on how you can increase communication and intimacy with an avoidant partner.

Never Chase

If you go after people who need space, they will possibly run even faster or turn and fight. When avoidant partners withdraw, allow them. It could be painful to let them go temporarily but chasing them is likely to make it take much longer before they come back around.

Ask Them What You Need Rather Than Saying What You Don’t

Complaints are usually, desires and longings in disguise. Few of you like it when someone complains about you. Most of you are more responsive when someone you care about voices what they desire.

Don’t Take it Personally

Avoidant partners look for distance out of self-protection. They are afraid of the loss of self. It is not about you. If an avoidant partner appears overly critical of you, you do not have to take it on. Remember, your partner is possibly self-critical too.

Offer Understanding

One quality mostly in short supply in relationships is listening. Be open to listening about your partner’s feelings and issues, whichever way they are expressed. Be kind and compassionate. Listen to understand, not to fix an issue.

Strengthen Positive Actions

When an avoidant partner does something you love or like, let them know. Let them know what you value in the relationship and what is working. This can balance an avoidant partner’s tendency to focus just on the negative only.

Respect Differences

Understand that your partner’s speed may be slower than yours but that does not actually mean your partner does not want to be with you.

Be Reliable and Trustworthy

Avoidant partners generally, expect to be disappointed. That makes it all the more vital that you do what you say. Never make promises you cannot keep.

Accept that Both of You Have Unrealistic Fantasies

An avoidant partner might have a fantasy of a perfect partner who meets all of his/her needs. You could have a fantasy of a perfect relationship in which you never feel lonely or sad. None of those are realistic.

Develop Your Own Interests

Please understand that no partner can fulfill all your needs. Have your own friends and hobbies. When avoidant partners observe that you are self-sufficient and doing things without them, it possibly paradoxically draws them to you since they can have less fear that you will become overly dependent on them.

Give Space

When things are going smooth and you feel your partner is coming closer, it could be tempting to open the floodgates and voice all your desires for closeness. You might worry that the open gateway could close at any time and seek to say all the things you have stored up while you can. However, this is mostly counterproductive. Rather, enjoy your partner’s sincere efforts to get close without overwhelming the moment. Doing so could make it feel safer for an avoidant partner to move closer and stay closer longer.

Be Mindful While Expressing Strong Emotions

You need to be capable to express your feelings and needs to your partner. But emotional expressions delivered intensely mostly overwhelm avoidant persons who can’t hear your message since they withdraw or shut down. You are more likely to be heard if you communicate your feelings sincerely, and openly but having a moderate tone.

Never Try to Change or Protect Your Partner

Trying to change a person’s basic attachment style is fruitless. It wastes all your time and it annoys the partner. However, it might be that in a secure relationship an avoidant partner may become more willing to risk intimacy and closeness over time.

Be Honest with Your Partner with Regards to Your Needs

If you need or desire more than your partner can give, the relationship is possibly not going to work. Be certain to communicate clearly, calmly, and using examples for your needs and desires. Your partner could then decide how to respond based on a proper knowledge of what you need rather than simply assuming or guessing.

Recognize Their Limitations

Avoidant partners might require more personal time and take more distance than you possibly like. That might never change. You need to accept that no partner is perfect.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.



Secrets Behind People Hiding Emotions Revealed By Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

It may feel strange when at times, you struggle to tell even the person closest to you about your true emotions. Keeping feelings of anger, sadness, and misery into words can be quite difficult. Even if the words are at the tip of your tongue, even if they are shouting in your mind and you look to let them out, you clench them back.

Counselor Shivani says there are times when the words are simply not enough to show how genuinely you feel. You wish to perhaps you do not know.

Also, at times one may feel exhausted from attempting to repair things and totally given up because he/she feels nothing will improve.

India’s leading Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog reveal secrets behind people hiding emotions.

You Have Doubts Whether People Will Understand You

At certain times, you might suppress your feelings since you are worried that people will not understand. You think that when they fail to relate with what you are going through, they might reject or disapprove of what you are feeling or saying, simply because they do not get it. However, there is always a possibility to find someone who will really understand you and never reject anything you have to say as small or tell you that you are being too sensitive or unreasonable.

You Do Not Trust Others To See Your Vulnerable Side

To reveal your innermost fears and doubts can be terrifying. Putting yourself out there can seem like you are exposing yourself, making your soul bare, and allowing someone a look inside. And you feel that people may take advantage of you or maybe even leave you alone when you are vulnerable. As difficult as it might be, taking the chance to get in touch with your feelings with someone you really trust can help your emotional wellbeing.

You Try To Be In Control Of Your Emotions But At Times Repress Them Up

Over a period of time, you might have been convinced that shedding a tear or saying that you are hurt is a sign of weakness. You combat with yourself to remain in control of your emotions, to stay emotionally rigid due to the perfectionist that you are. But being able to counter your fears in front of people, is the actual test of emotional strength, rather than ignore your genuine emotions and try to bury them away somewhere in your mind.

You Try To Avoid Arguments and Conflicts

Does not matter how difficult the situation is, you do everything to avoid getting into a tussle, specifically with someone close to you. You think that saying excessive or revealing your true feelings could get you trapped in unwanted arguments. However, in certain cases, having healthy discussions can boost your emotional bond with someone. When your requirements are equally met with that of the other individual, it can develop a cemented relationship.

You Believe That Whatever You Will Do Will Not Get Better

Post trying too hard to make things good, you may feel hopeless and totally given up on trying anymore. It is possible that you think your spouse, friend, or family member is too stubborn or ignorant to the way you feel. But it’s essential to ensure you have relationships where you can freely open-up without any fear of being judged or looked down upon.

You Carry The Burden Of Others, Despite It Hurts You

You prioritize the feelings of others before your own. And due to this, you willingly carry the burden of others while putting yours aside. You are first to show up and help others from the difficulties they are in but you never look out for help when you’re in need. Even when you are hurt, you show up for the people who matter to you. But at times, you need a break, too. You need a time where you can break down, allow your feelings out, and cry on someone’s shoulder who will calmly listen. Countering your feelings and coping with them can improve your relationship with yourself and others.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.