Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Marriages as they say are made in heaven. While it is true that nothing lasts forever, yet with the right mindset, communication, and commitment, marriages can endure and grow stronger over time. So, how do we find out if your marriage is going to last forever? India’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals some of the signs to look for.

What are the signs that can indicate a marriage will last long?

Though signs may vary, but Shivani Sadhoo shares some of the most subtle signs that may reveal you will have a long-lasting marriage. Those are:

1. Respect Each Other

One of the key signs of an everlasting marriage is the presence of mutual respect between partners. Respect goes beyond mere politeness; it involves valuing each other’s opinions, feelings, and boundaries. In an everlasting marriage, partners appreciate and honor one another, even during times of disagreement. This mutual respect forms a solid foundation, allowing the relationship to thrive and endure.

2. You have time for each other

When couples have time for each other, they get the chance to connect, communicate, and share their thoughts and feelings. This helps to build a strong foundation of trust and empathy, which is essential for any successful marriage.

3. Be Friends First

Friendship plays a crucial role in sustaining long-lasting marriages. Be pals, and confidantes, and support each other like buddies do. Value this friendship—cherish it! Laugh together, share secrets, and always listen. Trust, understanding, and love grow stronger when rooted in a deep, genuine friendship.

4. Emotional intimacy

Deep emotional connection in marriage, built on trust, vulnerability, and understanding, creates lasting love. Couples openly share fears, joys, and insecurities, forging an unbreakable bond that endures challenges and time. A journey where love is not just spoken but felt deeply, a timeless connection that weathers all storms.

5. Inspire and Motivate Each Other

Positive psychology says that when you focus on the good stuff in each other, it strengthens the relationship. You both feel happier, more connected, and motivated to keep the love alive. So, inspire each other, cheer each other on, and your marriage can go the distance!

6. Always There For Each Other

Long-lasting marriages happen when both partners truly care for and support each other. It’s like having each other’s backs through thick and thin. You become like peanut butter and jelly, just meant to stick together. There’s trust, laughter, and understanding, even when things get tough. It’s like being a team, always cheering each other on and helping out when needed.

7. Sense of Humour

Humor in marriage diffuses conflicts, transforming potential fights into playful moments. Couples who laugh together strengthen their bond, facing challenges with resilience and joy, fostering openness and an enjoyable relationship.

8. Money Matters

When both partners are on the same page about money, make joint decisions, and stick to a budget, it reduces stress and fights about bills. So, in a nutshell, when you both handle your finances wisely, your marriage is more likely to go the distance, like a winning team in the game of love.

9. Listen carefully

When you truly hear your partner out, it shows you care, respect, and understand them. You’re not just waiting for your turn to talk, but actually tuning in to what they’re saying. This builds trust and a deeper connection as it helps you nip problems in the bud before they become big issues.

Final Thoughts

A lasting marriage hinges on mutual respect, genuine friendship, emotional intimacy, shared laughter, and aligned values, including effective communication and financial harmony. Nurturing each other’s growth, being supportive allies, and cherishing the bond with love and understanding are essential ingredients for an enduring marital journey.

So, you have been seeing someone for a few months now (yes, that person you met perhaps on a dating site). You think (or more like you hope) they are not seeing anyone else. You know their favorite type of food, music, their father’s name, and may even have a toothbrush at their house. However, even though you are kind of in a relationship, there still has not been any talk of commitment or even exclusivity. Does this seem familiar? Well, if this sounds like it is describing your relationship perfectly, then you are perhaps in a “situationship”.

Relationship Counselor Shivani says ss the latest relationship trend on the block, a situationship is actually when you and another person are doing things that normal couples do, but you are not actually a couple. In between a hook-up and a relationship, situationship is that in-between grey zone where no one truly knows what is going on. Situationships may last months or even years in several cases but, given the reality, they involve catching feelings, it will finally end in two methods. Either you are going to DTR (define the relationship) or someone decides to move on.

So, if you see yourself relating to these signs, as said by Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog, then have a peek into it, that you may be in a “situationship”.

Run-Ins with a Friend or Relatives are Awkward

Have you ever bumped into a relative or friend while you are with the person you are seeing and not known what to introduce them as?  With responses with pauses like Uhm, this is my friend?’ or ‘Uh, this is his/her name, you know you are in a situationship. This is due to the fact that you haven’t truly defined what you are both doing.

Not at All Making Future Plans with Each Other

The majority of the people in committed relationships will be making plans for their future, such as birthday plans or deciding to book event tickets that would not be for another six to eight months. If you are in a situationship though, you might never make plans that are more than a week in advance, preferring to simply live in the moment. You may also still be going to events such as wedding ceremonies or New Year’s events alone.

You Have Never Meet Each Other’s Friends or Colleagues

On the first note, apart from the awkward run-ins, you have not officially met each other’s friends or colleagues.  Meeting friends usually, signifies that the relationship has the ability to be long-term. Several people do not want to introduce someone to their friends if they would be around next week. Introducing them indicates commitment. Whereas in a situationship, at most in this kind of relationship the closest you can perhaps come to making a commitment is to begin watching a new web series together at most. Nothing more than that. *

There are a Few Taboos

Being in a situationship, you tend to always be playing a game of chicken while texting. So, if one of you doesn’t respond for a long time, you cannot easily just ask what is going on. Lack of commitment means you do not wish to appear as the needy or clingy one, since you are technically not even in a defined relationship. Also, you are certainly not on each other’s social media too.

You Have Sleepovers Regularly

It does not feel necessary to leave straight away post-sex because you do not simply go over to hook-up. Even though your relationship could be largely physical, you still do plenty of the domesticated activities that couples normally do.  You stay overnight at each other’s places, have breakfast, and even have your toothbrush at their homes.

You Have Feelings for Each Other But Not Love, But You Simply Never Talks About This

Despite not admitting it to the person you are seeing, you have certainly caught feelings. However, you do not love them. Communication is vital in a serious relationship, but in situationships people merely tend not to talk about their true feelings. While it could be fun for a while, it is essential to bear in mind that the uncertainty may get a bit too much eventually.

What happens if you get yourself in a situationship?

If you are dating in 2021 and a millennial, then you will possibly find yourself in a situationship. If you are not already in one now. Millennials somewhat specifically tend to be “scared of the responsibility and expectation that comes along with the label girlfriend or boyfriend and so the ‘what are we’ conversation simply never happens.

While pressure and label-free relationship sound good, but one never knows situationships can actually be quite toxic. The repeated uncertainty of the other person’s feelings and thoughts can rapidly turn from exciting to exhausting. The worst thing is that when a situationship finishes, you say to yourself that you cannot get even properly upset about it because it was not even theoretically a relationship. Situationships are not for everyone. If it is not what you actually wish, then get out of it immediately. Put yourself first and never settle for anything you do not deserve.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.