Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Leading marriage counsellor and couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains why it is important to continue with your therapy even when you find it tough to handle.

When life throws us curve balls and we feel like we’re constantly running on empty, how do we navigate the maze of emotions that come with it? In a world where the pace never seems to slow down, where do we find solace and support for our mental and emotional well-being?

The answer may lie in therapy.

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s all too easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life. From work deadlines to family obligations, the relentless demands on our time and energy can leave us feeling drained and overwhelmed. And when faced with challenges or setbacks, it’s not uncommon to find ourselves struggling to cope with the flood of emotions that accompany them.

But what if there was a way to untangle the knots of our emotions, to make sense of the chaos within ourselves?

Therapy is working for you

At first, therapy feels good. You connect with your therapist, feel understood, and learn about yourself. But then you hit a wall. You talk in circles, feel irritated, and dislike therapy. It’s normal. It means you’re making progress, confronting things you’d rather avoid.

It’s tough but part of the process. If therapy would have been easy, everybody would have been doing it. Sometimes your therapist dives deep into your subconscious to uncover painful memories. Don’t give up, it’s all part of the journey towards healing.

Improvement of Coping Skills

Did you know that our life experiences shape how we deal with emotions? Interactions with others and life events affect how we react to what happens to us. When you talk to a psychologist when you’re feeling good, it’s easier to think about things and become more aware. Therapy makes you feel safe and helps you understand how you handle emotions.

It can also help you replace unhealthy coping mechanisms with better ones. Therapy gives you a chance to learn new ways to deal with tough situations or feelings. Your therapist can show you how to spot negative thoughts and change them to feel better. This can lead to a happier mood and better overall health.

Improves Clarity of Thought

It is quite natural to feel bothered by things from time to time, even if your overall life is happy. These could include annoying habits from your partner, family discussions, or work issues. Dealing with these challenges can affect your daily well-being and long-term happiness. Talking to a therapist can help you understand and clarify your emotions.

They offer an outside perspective that can be very useful. While family and friends can help, therapists are trained to listen and provide helpful insights. Identifying your feelings and why you’re feeling them is healthy and makes them easier to manage.

Helps in Personal Growth

Therapy often helps you rediscover your inner self. It sees difficulties not as roadblocks but as stepping stones for personal growth. This psychological path lets you explore your mind and understand yourself better.

Instead of changing external circumstances, therapy focuses on how you cope and respond to them. It’s an inward journey where gaining insight helps you grow into the person you want to be, boosting your self-efficacy and fulfilment. A trained psychologist guides you with understanding and tools for this transformation.

Teaches you different strategies to handle stress better

Therapy offers valuable tools and techniques for handling life’s challenges smoothly. It provides strategies like cognitive-behavioural methods and mindfulness practices. Therapists help clients manage stress, anxiety, and depression. With practice, individuals can develop self-awareness and emotional control. This empowers them to face life’s hurdles with more confidence.

Therapy isn’t just about overcoming obstacles; it’s a journey toward self-discovery and a more fulfilling life. In essence, persisting through the challenging phases of therapy is pivotal for profound personal growth. Embracing discomfort signifies progress, honing coping skills, clarifying thoughts, fostering resilience, and acquiring strategies for stress management.

Are you head over heels for your girl, planning the big engagement, but still wondering if she’s “the one”? Finding the right person to spend your life with can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. Amidst the sea of possibilities, there are certain signs that can help guide you towards someone truly special. While romantic gestures and thoughtful actions certainly play a part, the ultimate litmus test lies in how she makes you feel.

How do you find out if she’s the one you’ve been wanting to tie the knot with?

Top marriage counselor and relationship expert in India Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains how.

Empathy

Finding “the one” involves recognizing someone who empathizes genuinely. She listens and understands your feelings without judgment. Her compassion and support during tough times show her commitment. Marrying her means having a partner who stands by you through thick and thin, making every challenge easier to face together.

She’s your best friend

Choosing a life partner is like embarking on a journey with a trusted companion, and finding that person who seamlessly fits into the role of your best friend can make all the difference. You can share your feelings with her comfortably. You don’t need to pretend. You can be yourself. Whatever happens, she’s always there for you. So, when you find that special someone who makes you feel at home, who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts, and who you can’t imagine facing life without, you’ll know that she’s the one you should marry. 

She always encourages you    

Marrying a woman who constantly encourages and supports you is a blessing beyond measure. Her unwavering belief in your abilities fuels your confidence and drive. Even in your darkest hours, she sees your potential and lifts you up with her boundless faith. With her by your side, you’re inspired to conquer any challenge, knowing she believes you’re capable of magic. She’s not just a partner; she’s your greatest ally and cheerleader.

Shared goals and values

Shared goals and values serve as the compass guiding you to the right partner for marriage. When your beliefs, priorities, and long-term aspirations align with hers, it signals compatibility and ensures a harmonious journey together. While differences add spice, fundamental agreements on family, career, and life goals lay the groundwork for a fulfilling relationship. Finding someone who complements your strengths while sharing your core values is the key to a lasting union.

You trust her

Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. If you can’t trust your partner, who will you talk to about your deepest feelings?  When you’re with someone trustworthy, you feel secure because you know they care about you. Whether it’s staying faithful or keeping their promises, a woman who is honest and dependable is someone you can imagine a future with.

When arguments are productive

When you’re able to have productive discussions, even during disagreements, it demonstrates a level of emotional intelligence and communication skills that are vital for a healthy relationship. It means you’re able to listen actively, express your own thoughts and feelings honestly, and find compromises that satisfy both parties.

Mutual respect is a must

Mutual respect in a relationship is a cornerstone of a healthy partnership. When your girl respects you as an individual, honors your boundaries, and treats you with kindness, it indicates a strong foundation for a lifelong commitment.  In her, you find not just a partner, but a soulmate worthy of a lifelong journey together.

She is independent

She is strong and independent, with a mind of her own. This quality assures you that she won’t simply follow the crowd but will stand by her beliefs. Her strength inspires you, and her independence assures you of mutual respect and space within the relationship. Knowing she can navigate life’s challenges independently gives you confidence in facing them together as a team.

These are just some of the essential qualities couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo highlights for finding the right partner. Ultimately, marrying someone who embodies empathy, friendship, encouragement, shared values, trust, effective communication, mutual respect, and independence ensures a fulfilling lifelong journey together.

Are you tired of feeling neglected or undervalued in your relationship? Do you think he takes you for granted and doesn’t care about your emotions? It’s a situation many individuals face, where the struggle to be recognized and appreciated becomes a constant battle. If you’re nodding in agreement, it’s time to take a step back and reflect on how you can make your partner realize your true value in the relationship. Here are some empowering strategies to shift the dynamics and ensure that your worth is not only acknowledged but celebrated.

What are the ways to make him realize your worth?

Let us learn the 6 effective ways of making your partner realize your true worth from the leading couples therapist and relationship counsellor in India, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

1. Love Yourself

Before expecting recognition from others, acknowledge your value. Understand your worth, and let that radiance be your language of love. Don’t let him mistreat or disrespect you. Work on your self-esteem. Let go of all negative feelings and embrace positivity in your approach. Focus on things you love to do and nurture your relationship with yourself. Take good care of yourself. Believe in yourself. Let him see you in a different light.

2. You Don’t Have to Agree to Everything He says

Learn to say NO. If you keep agreeing to each and everything, he will take you for granted. For instance, if he asks you to make a cup of coffee for him while you’re busy finishing a presentation for your office meeting, tell him clearly, “I’m occupied now; could you handle it this time and mine too?”

These well-timed refusals convey your ability to stand firm. Embrace the power of “no” to make him appreciate your individuality, showcasing strength and prompting newfound respect. It’s about asserting yourself gracefully to ensure he values your importance.

3. Don’t Be Available Round-the-Clock

Taking a step back and not being available 24/7 can make your partner appreciate your true worth. When you’re always there, it might seem ordinary. But when you create some space, it highlights your value and independence.

Imagine always having your favourite snack; it’s nice, but when it’s not readily available, you realize how much you truly enjoy and miss it. Similarly, by not being constantly available, you’re giving your partner the chance to realize and cherish your unique qualities and contributions to the relationship.

 4. Give Credit to Your Own Achievements

It’s important to share your successes with your partner, big or small. For instance, if you aced a project at work or learned a new skill, let them know. Celebrating these wins together helps your partner understand your worth and the unique qualities you bring to the relationship.

It’s like opening a window into your world, allowing them to appreciate the brilliance that makes you who you are. This openness develops a deeper connection and showcases the value you bring to the relationship.

5. No Room for Lame Excuses

Stop covering for him. If he messes up, there’s no excuse. Don’t hide behind reasons; if he hurts you, it’s not okay. Make it clear that his behaviour is unacceptable. For instance, if he forgot your birthday calmly express how it hurt you and that it’s not okay.

Avoid making excuses for him, so he understands the impact of his actions. Stand up for yourself; if you don’t, he won’t learn from his mistakes. Make it known that you won’t tolerate disrespectful behaviour, and he needs to face the consequences to grow.

6. Communication is a two-way process

Be independent by expressing your opinions openly, yet stay connected by understanding and respecting his feelings. For instance, if he shares a challenging day at work, responds with empathy and support rather than trying to fix everything.

By accepting him for who he is, he’ll feel valued and appreciated. This blend of independence and connection creates a strong foundation for mutual respect and understanding, making it clear that your worth is not just about your independence but also your ability to connect on a deeper level.

Closing Thoughts

In a nutshell, making your partner realize your true worth is a subtle art that requires a blend of self-assurance, effective communication, and a balanced approach to independence and connection.

Marriages as they say are made in heaven. While it is true that nothing lasts forever, yet with the right mindset, communication, and commitment, marriages can endure and grow stronger over time. So, how do we find out if your marriage is going to last forever? India’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals some of the signs to look for.

What are the signs that can indicate a marriage will last long?

Though signs may vary, but Shivani Sadhoo shares some of the most subtle signs that may reveal you will have a long-lasting marriage. Those are:

1. Respect Each Other

One of the key signs of an everlasting marriage is the presence of mutual respect between partners. Respect goes beyond mere politeness; it involves valuing each other’s opinions, feelings, and boundaries. In an everlasting marriage, partners appreciate and honor one another, even during times of disagreement. This mutual respect forms a solid foundation, allowing the relationship to thrive and endure.

2. You have time for each other

When couples have time for each other, they get the chance to connect, communicate, and share their thoughts and feelings. This helps to build a strong foundation of trust and empathy, which is essential for any successful marriage.

3. Be Friends First

Friendship plays a crucial role in sustaining long-lasting marriages. Be pals, and confidantes, and support each other like buddies do. Value this friendship—cherish it! Laugh together, share secrets, and always listen. Trust, understanding, and love grow stronger when rooted in a deep, genuine friendship.

4. Emotional intimacy

Deep emotional connection in marriage, built on trust, vulnerability, and understanding, creates lasting love. Couples openly share fears, joys, and insecurities, forging an unbreakable bond that endures challenges and time. A journey where love is not just spoken but felt deeply, a timeless connection that weathers all storms.

5. Inspire and Motivate Each Other

Positive psychology says that when you focus on the good stuff in each other, it strengthens the relationship. You both feel happier, more connected, and motivated to keep the love alive. So, inspire each other, cheer each other on, and your marriage can go the distance!

6. Always There For Each Other

Long-lasting marriages happen when both partners truly care for and support each other. It’s like having each other’s backs through thick and thin. You become like peanut butter and jelly, just meant to stick together. There’s trust, laughter, and understanding, even when things get tough. It’s like being a team, always cheering each other on and helping out when needed.

7. Sense of Humour

Humor in marriage diffuses conflicts, transforming potential fights into playful moments. Couples who laugh together strengthen their bond, facing challenges with resilience and joy, fostering openness and an enjoyable relationship.

8. Money Matters

When both partners are on the same page about money, make joint decisions, and stick to a budget, it reduces stress and fights about bills. So, in a nutshell, when you both handle your finances wisely, your marriage is more likely to go the distance, like a winning team in the game of love.

9. Listen carefully

When you truly hear your partner out, it shows you care, respect, and understand them. You’re not just waiting for your turn to talk, but actually tuning in to what they’re saying. This builds trust and a deeper connection as it helps you nip problems in the bud before they become big issues.

Final Thoughts

A lasting marriage hinges on mutual respect, genuine friendship, emotional intimacy, shared laughter, and aligned values, including effective communication and financial harmony. Nurturing each other’s growth, being supportive allies, and cherishing the bond with love and understanding are essential ingredients for an enduring marital journey.

So, you have been seeing someone for a few months now (yes, that person you met perhaps on a dating site). You think (or more like you hope) they are not seeing anyone else. You know their favorite type of food, music, their father’s name, and may even have a toothbrush at their house. However, even though you are kind of in a relationship, there still has not been any talk of commitment or even exclusivity. Does this seem familiar? Well, if this sounds like it is describing your relationship perfectly, then you are perhaps in a “situationship”.

Relationship Counselor Shivani says ss the latest relationship trend on the block, a situationship is actually when you and another person are doing things that normal couples do, but you are not actually a couple. In between a hook-up and a relationship, situationship is that in-between grey zone where no one truly knows what is going on. Situationships may last months or even years in several cases but, given the reality, they involve catching feelings, it will finally end in two methods. Either you are going to DTR (define the relationship) or someone decides to move on.

So, if you see yourself relating to these signs, as said by Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog, then have a peek into it, that you may be in a “situationship”.

Run-Ins with a Friend or Relatives are Awkward

Have you ever bumped into a relative or friend while you are with the person you are seeing and not known what to introduce them as?  With responses with pauses like Uhm, this is my friend?’ or ‘Uh, this is his/her name, you know you are in a situationship. This is due to the fact that you haven’t truly defined what you are both doing.

Not at All Making Future Plans with Each Other

The majority of the people in committed relationships will be making plans for their future, such as birthday plans or deciding to book event tickets that would not be for another six to eight months. If you are in a situationship though, you might never make plans that are more than a week in advance, preferring to simply live in the moment. You may also still be going to events such as wedding ceremonies or New Year’s events alone.

You Have Never Meet Each Other’s Friends or Colleagues

On the first note, apart from the awkward run-ins, you have not officially met each other’s friends or colleagues.  Meeting friends usually, signifies that the relationship has the ability to be long-term. Several people do not want to introduce someone to their friends if they would be around next week. Introducing them indicates commitment. Whereas in a situationship, at most in this kind of relationship the closest you can perhaps come to making a commitment is to begin watching a new web series together at most. Nothing more than that. *

There are a Few Taboos

Being in a situationship, you tend to always be playing a game of chicken while texting. So, if one of you doesn’t respond for a long time, you cannot easily just ask what is going on. Lack of commitment means you do not wish to appear as the needy or clingy one, since you are technically not even in a defined relationship. Also, you are certainly not on each other’s social media too.

You Have Sleepovers Regularly

It does not feel necessary to leave straight away post-sex because you do not simply go over to hook-up. Even though your relationship could be largely physical, you still do plenty of the domesticated activities that couples normally do.  You stay overnight at each other’s places, have breakfast, and even have your toothbrush at their homes.

You Have Feelings for Each Other But Not Love, But You Simply Never Talks About This

Despite not admitting it to the person you are seeing, you have certainly caught feelings. However, you do not love them. Communication is vital in a serious relationship, but in situationships people merely tend not to talk about their true feelings. While it could be fun for a while, it is essential to bear in mind that the uncertainty may get a bit too much eventually.

What happens if you get yourself in a situationship?

If you are dating in 2021 and a millennial, then you will possibly find yourself in a situationship. If you are not already in one now. Millennials somewhat specifically tend to be “scared of the responsibility and expectation that comes along with the label girlfriend or boyfriend and so the ‘what are we’ conversation simply never happens.

While pressure and label-free relationship sound good, but one never knows situationships can actually be quite toxic. The repeated uncertainty of the other person’s feelings and thoughts can rapidly turn from exciting to exhausting. The worst thing is that when a situationship finishes, you say to yourself that you cannot get even properly upset about it because it was not even theoretically a relationship. Situationships are not for everyone. If it is not what you actually wish, then get out of it immediately. Put yourself first and never settle for anything you do not deserve.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.