Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

When two people fall in love, what’s the first thing that connects them?

Is it the mind — where curiosity turns into comfort, where a stranger begins to feel familiar long before the heart catches up? Or is it that unexplainable physical pull that draws you closer before you even know why?

Honestly, it’s often our minds that meet first. Our emotions translate what words can’t — that quiet spark of recognition when a thought mirrors your own, when laughter feels shared rather than offered, when silence doesn’t demand filling. That’s the magic, isn’t it? Two minds leaning toward each other long before the souls follow and the hearts understand what’s unfolding.

But what happens when that same person — the one who once understood your pauses and lit up your brightest thoughts — turns distant? When warmth turns to indifference, and the shared language of love fades into one-word replies? When the home you built together feels more like a waiting room where no one calls your name?

Yes, we are talking about Emotional Abandonment — what it really is, and how to walk through it without losing yourself says Shivani Misri Sadhoo who is one of the most experienced couples therapist in Delhi, India.

What is Emotional Abandonment?

Sometimes, even in a marriage that is built on trust, communication, patience, and more importantly love, life has a way of making people drift without realizing it. Work pressure, family duties, the everyday hustle and bustle — they all add up, and slowly, two people who once felt like they were in a “made-for-each-other” kind of relationship become emotionally alien to each other. Then there are times when the emotional disconnect isn’t transient. The person who loved you so much, stops caring about your feelings.

There is a great wall of silence that rises between you and your spouse. And, even though you’re under the same roof, it feels like you’re worlds apart — sharing space, but not a life. You feel unheard, unseen, almost invisible in a space that was once safe. Over time, that emotional gap turns into isolation and deep loneliness. This isn’t just distance — it’s emotional abandonment, a painful place where support fades, connection breaks down, and love feels like it’s there in name but missing in presence. It can happen over the years or all of a sudden. But whenever it happens, it hurts!

Why Does It Happen?

Some of the reasons this happens are:

Too Busy

We are living in an era where life spins endlessly in the orbit of busyness — where married couples, caught in the rush, slowly drift apart, and emotional abandonment takes root in the silence between them. Initially, they try to make it up by going for a late night coffee date or a weekend plan. But as time goes by, those gestures become band-aids on widening cracks. The late-night coffees turn into hurried takeaways, weekend plans become postponed promises, and conversations shrink into logistics — bills, schedules, responsibilities. What once felt like partnership now feels like parallel lives: two people moving in the same space yet rarely meeting in spirit. This takes a heavy toll on their emotional landscape-a slow erosion rather than a sudden collapse.

Negative Experiences of Childhood

Sometimes, childhood experiences like neglect, abuse, or losing a caregiver can quietly shape how we love later in life. These can unknowingly lead to feelings of distrust, fear of getting hurt, and anxiety around closeness. A person may cling when they feel insecure or pull away to protect themselves. Without meaning to, they may create distance in the relationships they care about most, wanting connection but struggling to feel safe in it.

Money Matters

Sometimes constant financial stress and job insecurity can quietly strain a relationship. Your mind is more focused on solving financial problems and hence there is no room for emotional attachment. As time goes by, this constant state of worry takes a toll on their emotional relationship. When that happens, feelings of neglect and abandonment grow.

Personality Mismatch

One more reason for emotional abandonment comes from differences in personality. Some people are naturally introverted and prefer space, quiet, and time alone to recharge. Others are more expressive and seek frequent emotional connection. When these needs don’t match, misunderstandings grow. The introverted person may feel overwhelmed, while the other feels ignored or unloved. Over time, this gap in communication and emotional style can quietly push partners apart, creating distance without anyone meaning to.

Is there a solution to this problem? Let’s find out.

Ways To navigate emotional abandonment

Recognise The Problem

The first step should be to recognise the problem. There is no point dilly-dallying when you already feel the distance creeping in and hurting your relationship. Don’t you want to feel close and happy again? So go ahead and acknowledge that this emotional detachment is slowly building walls between you both. Once you name it, you can face it, talk honestly, and slowly reconnect instead of drifting apart.

Communication is Key

Communicate. Real communication is a two-way flow — you listen, you speak honestly, and you face what hurts instead of running from it. The more you talk, the lighter you feel, because sharing loosens the weight you’ve been carrying inside. Emotional abandonment begins to heal when two partners stay present, open up, and keep showing up with truth and patience. If you don’t express what’s hurting you inside, how will your partner ever know? Speak, release the unspoken, and let honesty bring you back to each other.

The Magic of Time

They say time is the greatest healer, so give it the space it needs. When you and your spouse feel emotionally detached, be patient and gentle with yourselves. Take it slow, stay steady in your efforts, and keep showing up even when progress feels small. Miracles do not happen overnight; time and steady intention soften wounds, rebuild trust, and slowly revive connection. With patience, honest effort, and a calm heart, emotional abandonment in marriage can gradually give way to closeness once again.

Spend Quality Time Together

Try giving sweet surprises to your better half. Plan a weekend trip to the place where you first met and relive those precious moments. You could also try something new together, like a fun activity or a creative workshop you both enjoy. The whole idea is to spend real quality time together—switch off your phone, disconnect from the outside world, and reconnect with each other. These simple efforts strengthen your emotional bond by reminding you both that love is not just spoken but shown through presence and intention.

Professional Guidance Helps

Sometimes professional guidance truly helps. A third person can counsel you in a neutral manner, seeing the situation from an outside perspective without judgment. A therapist or marriage counsellor uses specific tools and techniques to address the issues that are emotionally hurting both partners. Their support creates a safe space to express feelings, understand unmet needs, and rebuild trust. This process is especially helpful for healing emotional abandonment in a marriage, as it encourages reconnection, healthy communication, and renewed emotional presence.

Life is full of surprises — some lift us, some test us. Emotional distance can feel heavy, but it’s not the final chapter. When we notice the disconnect, speak openly, give time, create meaningful moments, and seek guidance when needed, love finds its way back. Healing begins when both hearts choose to stay present.

We often think attractiveness is about looks, style, or physical features—but true attractiveness goes much deeper than that. It’s not just about how someone looks, but about how they make others feel. Some people seem to have a magnetic charm that draws others toward them effortlessly. You can sense their energy in the way they talk, listen, and carry themselves. The secret lies not in appearance, but in habits—the small, consistent actions that reflect inner confidence, kindness, and authenticity.

Which 5 Habits Make People Instantly Attractive to Others?

Here are five amazing habits that make people naturally attractive and deeply admired by others as explained by Shivani Misri Sadhoo who is one of the most experienced couples and relationship counselors in India.

1. They Radiate Positivity

Attractive people are not those who have perfect lives—but those who maintain a positive attitude, even when things don’t go their way. Their optimism is contagious. They focus on solutions, not problems, and find silver linings even in challenges.

When you’re around someone who exudes positivity, you feel lighter, more hopeful, and more at peace. That’s because positivity shifts energy—it turns ordinary moments into uplifting ones. Whether it’s greeting others with a smile, showing gratitude, or encouraging people during tough times, their attitude becomes a source of warmth and comfort.

A positive mindset doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine—it means believing in possibilities. People who embody this habit inspire others to do the same, which makes them irresistibly magnetic.

2. They Truly Listen and Make Others Feel Heard

One of the most underrated yet powerful habits is active listening. We live in a world where most people listen to reply, not to understand. But attractive individuals do the opposite—they listen with genuine attention. They make eye contact, nod, ask thoughtful questions, and remember details.

When you talk to them, you feel seen, valued, and respected. They don’t interrupt or dominate the conversation; they let you express yourself freely. That’s why people naturally open up to them—they create a safe emotional space.

This habit signals emotional intelligence and empathy—qualities that build trust and deepen connections. Being a good listener isn’t just polite; it’s profoundly attractive because it shows you care about others more than your own ego.

3. They Carry Themselves with Confidence, Not Arrogance

Confidence is one of the most universally attractive traits—but it’s important to understand that true confidence is quiet. It doesn’t demand attention; it attracts it naturally.

People with genuine confidence are comfortable in their own skin. They don’t try to prove their worth to others, nor do they need validation to feel good about themselves. They know their strengths, accept their flaws, and stay grounded.

Unlike arrogance, which pushes people away, real confidence invites respect. It’s reflected in posture, eye contact, tone, and how they treat others. When someone walks into a room with calm assurance and humility, they instantly stand out—not because they’re loud, but because they’re secure.

4. They Show Kindness Without Expecting Anything in Return

There’s something deeply beautiful about people who are kind—not because they want recognition, but because it’s simply who they are. Kindness has a way of leaving a lasting impression. It could be as simple as holding the door open, offering help without being asked, or speaking with compassion instead of judgment.

Truly attractive people see others as human beings, not as means to an end. They treat everyone with respect—whether it’s a colleague, waiter, or stranger. Their kindness makes them approachable and trustworthy.

Research even shows that kindness activates a “warm glow” in both the giver and receiver, fostering emotional connection. People remember how you make them feel—and kindness ensures they remember you fondly.

5. They Are Authentic and Comfortable Being Themselves

In a world obsessed with filters, perfection, and social approval, authenticity stands out like a breath of fresh air. Attractive people don’t pretend to be someone else—they embrace their uniqueness. They speak honestly, express their opinions with respect, and aren’t afraid to show vulnerability.

Authenticity creates connection because it signals realness. When someone is unapologetically themselves, it gives others permission to be real too. That kind of honesty builds trust faster than any charm or pretense ever could.

Being authentic also means having the courage to say “no” when needed, and standing by your values even when it’s inconvenient. That quiet integrity makes such people truly admirable.

True attractiveness isn’t about appearance—it’s about energy, attitude, and empathy. The most magnetic people are those who uplift others, listen deeply, live confidently, show kindness, and remain genuine.

When you cultivate these five habits, you don’t just become more attractive—you become more alive. People will be drawn to your authenticity, your warmth, and your positive presence. And that kind of beauty never fades.

In any healthy relationship—whether romantic, familial, or friendship—boundaries play a crucial role in maintaining mutual respect and emotional safety. Without boundaries, even the strongest relationships can become strained, leading to misunderstandings, resentment, or burnout. Boundaries are not walls that keep people out—they are guidelines that define how we want to be treated and how we treat others, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is India’s top couples and marriage counselor in this blog.

What Do Boundaries in a Relationship Refer To?

Boundaries in a relationship refer to the limits and expectations that partners set to protect their emotional, physical, and mental well-being. They define what is acceptable and what isn’t in terms of behavior, communication, and personal space. Boundaries ensure that both individuals feel respected, valued, and safe, preventing one person from overpowering or neglecting the other.

For example, setting boundaries might mean communicating honestly about personal needs, maintaining privacy, saying “no” without guilt, or ensuring equal effort in emotional or physical intimacy. They create balance—allowing closeness without losing individuality.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries in a Relationship?

Know Yourself First
Understand your values, comfort zones, and emotional triggers. You can’t set boundaries if you don’t know what you need to feel secure and respected.

Communicate Clearly and Calmly
Express your boundaries openly and respectfully. Instead of blaming or accusing, use “I” statements like “I feel uncomfortable when…” or “I need some alone time to recharge.”

Be Consistent
Once you set a boundary, maintain it. Inconsistency can confuse your partner and weaken the respect for your limits.

Respect Your Partner’s Boundaries Too
Boundaries are mutual. Just as you expect your limits to be respected, you should honor your partner’s as well. Listen and adjust when needed.

Don’t Feel Guilty About Setting Limits
Healthy boundaries don’t make you selfish—they make you emotionally mature. They show you value yourself and your relationship enough to keep it balanced.

Boundaries are the foundation of trust and respect in every relationship. They help both partners grow individually while nurturing their bond together. Without them, love can quickly turn into control, dependency, or emotional exhaustion. Setting boundaries is not about distance—it’s about creating the right space where love, respect, and understanding can thrive.

Have you ever replayed a conversation in your head and cringed at what you said? Or remembered an awkward moment and felt your cheeks burn? These experiences are common, but the feelings behind them vary. At times, we simply feel embarrassed. Other times, we feel guilty about something we did. But when the discomfort goes deeper and touches our very sense of worth, that is shame.

While guilt says “I did something bad,” shame whispers “I am bad.” And unlike embarrassment or guilt, shame is more damaging if left unchecked. Eminent psychologist and marriage counsellor in India, Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains that learning how to deal with shame is vital for mental health, self-confidence, and healthy relationships.

What is Shame?

Shame is the uncomfortable belief that you are flawed, unworthy, or “not good enough.” It often arises after mistakes, criticism, or rejection. For example, forgetting a partner’s birthday may cause temporary guilt, but if you start believing that this makes you careless or unlovable, the heavy, sinking emotion you feel is shame.

Psychologists distinguish between two types of shame—healthy and toxic. Healthy shame is temporary and acts as a signal that you have fallen short of your values, motivating you to correct your actions and do better. Toxic shame, on the other hand, runs much deeper. Instead of being tied to a single mistake, it becomes part of your identity, making you feel permanently flawed and unworthy. If left unchecked, this type of shame can undermine your confidence, weaken relationships, and even affect physical and emotional well-being.

Why Shame Hurts More Than Guilt or Embarrassment?

Embarrassment usually comes from awkwardness in social situations, such as forgetting someone’s name or tripping in public. Guilt is connected to specific actions, like missing a deadline or breaking a promise. Shame, however, is different because it attacks identity itself, convincing you that you are fundamentally wrong as a person.

When mistakes become linked to self-worth, the emotional weight of shame intensifies. People often respond by avoiding others, striving for perfection, or isolating themselves. Over time, shame can fuel deeper struggles such as anxiety, depression, and a lack of trust in relationships, making it far more destructive than guilt or embarrassment.

How to Deal with Shame in Life?

You should try the following ways to deal with shame:

1. Recognize and Acknowledge Shame

The first step in overcoming shame is awareness. Pay attention to situations that trigger defensiveness, anger, or withdrawal—these often mask shame. Notice how it feels in your body: heaviness, a desire to hide, or discomfort in social situations. Journaling these moments can help reveal patterns. Awareness shifts shame from something unconscious to something you can actively work on.

2. Understand the Root Causes

Shame often has roots in childhood experiences, social pressures, or repeated criticism. Growing up in an environment where love or acceptance was conditional can create lasting feelings of inadequacy. Similarly, struggles with identity, finances, or academic performance may contribute. Recognizing that much of this shame is inherited—not chosen—can ease the burden. You are not defined by past judgments or circumstances.

3. Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is the antidote to shame. Instead of harsh self-criticism, treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a close friend. When shame arises, pause and ask: What would I say to someone I love if they felt this way? This shift helps you move from judgment to understanding. Even if it feels unnatural at first, practicing small acts of self-kindness—like gentle self-talk or taking breaks when overwhelmed—builds resilience over time.

4. Challenge Negative Beliefs

Shame often thrives on distorted thinking such as “I don’t belong” or “I will fail.” Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques encourage questioning these thoughts:

• What evidence supports this belief?
• What evidence challenges it?
• How would I view this situation if it happened to someone else?

Replacing absolute, negative beliefs with balanced perspectives reduces shame’s power.

5. Build Supportive Connections

Shame pushes people to hide, but connection is the cure. Talking to trusted friends, partners, or mentors can normalize your struggles. Often, you will discover others have faced similar feelings. Vulnerability in safe relationships breaks shame’s cycle of secrecy and self-isolation.

6. Seek Professional Guidance

Sometimes shame is deeply rooted and hard to manage alone. In such cases, working with a therapist is invaluable. A trained professional provides a safe, non-judgmental space to explore emotions, uncover root causes, and develop healthier coping strategies. Approaches like CBT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) help reframe negative thought patterns and rebuild self-worth.

Living Beyond Shame

Shame is universal—everyone experiences it at some point. But it does not have to define you. By recognizing its presence, understanding where it comes from, treating yourself with compassion, and seeking help when necessary, you can loosen shame’s grip.

As psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo emphasizes, dealing with shame is not about erasing mistakes but about refusing to equate them with your identity. With awareness, kindness, and courage, you can step out from shame’s shadow and live with greater confidence, peace, and self-acceptance.

Marriage, ideally built on love, trust, and mutual respect, can sometimes face challenges that become too difficult to resolve. In 2025, despite greater awareness of relationship counseling and increased societal acceptance of personal choices, divorce rates remain significant across many parts of the world.

With evolving lifestyles, digital influences, and changing expectations, the reasons couples choose to part ways have also transformed. Understanding these reasons is crucial not just for legal or social insights, but also for helping couples recognize potential issues before they escalate.

What are some of the common reasons for filing for divorce in 2025?

Below are some of the most common reasons people are filing for divorce in 2025 as explained by India’s top couples therapist and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

1. Communication Breakdown

A consistent lack of healthy communication continues to be one of the primary causes of divorce in 2025. Misunderstandings, emotional detachment, and an inability to openly express feelings often result in growing distance between partners.

With the rise of digital distractions—such as smartphones and social media—many couples find themselves engaging more with screens than with each other. This weakens intimacy and emotional connection, often leading to feelings of isolation within the marriage.

2. Financial Stress and Disagreements

Money remains a major stressor in marriages. In 2025, inflation, job market uncertainty, and differing financial priorities have led to increasing conflicts over spending, saving, debt management, and lifestyle expectations.

When one partner is a saver and the other is a spender, or if one hides financial matters from the other (financial infidelity), trust can erode quickly, resulting in irreconcilable differences.

3. Infidelity and Emotional Affairs

While physical infidelity has always been a significant ground for divorce, emotional affairs have become increasingly common in the digital age. Platforms like Instagram, dating apps, and even professional networking sites can create opportunities for inappropriate connections.

Emotional affairs, even if not physical, can be deeply hurtful and betray the core intimacy of a marriage. In 2025, the boundary between friendship and emotional infidelity is more blurred, making this a growing concern in marital disputes.

4. Incompatibility and Evolving Personalities

Many couples cite “growing apart” as a reason for divorce. Personal growth and change are natural, but when two people evolve in vastly different directions—whether in career ambitions, values, or lifestyle preferences—the relationship may suffer.

In 2025, with more people pursuing independent goals, personal development, and self-care, couples often find that their once-shared vision of life no longer aligns.

5. Mental Health Issues and Lack of Support

Awareness around mental health has increased significantly, yet not all partners are equipped or willing to support a spouse going through psychological challenges. Untreated depression, anxiety, or substance abuse can strain the emotional fabric of a relationship.

If one partner feels neglected or burdened by the other’s issues, and if professional help isn’t sought, it can lead to a breakdown in the marriage.

6. Domestic Abuse and Toxic Behavior

Domestic abuse—whether physical, emotional, or psychological—remains a grave reason for divorce. In 2025, more people are speaking out against abusive partners, thanks in part to stronger support systems and awareness campaigns.

Toxic patterns like gaslighting, controlling behavior, or persistent disrespect are no longer tolerated as they might have been in previous decades.

In 2025, the reasons for divorce reflect not only age-old issues but also modern challenges brought on by technology, changing gender roles, and evolving personal expectations.

While divorce can be painful, recognizing these root causes can encourage couples to seek early intervention or, if necessary, choose separation as a step toward individual well-being and growth.

Many a time, people in love wonder how much their partner truly loves them. Can love be measured, just like we measure physical quantities like weight, height, or time?

The answer is no. Love is an emotion—a deeply personal and abstract feeling that cannot be quantified by tangible metrics. It is not about how many candlelight dinners you share, the number of gifts exchanged, or even how often the words “I love you” are said.

Love is far more profound and complex than that. Small, meaningful gestures often reveal the depth of a relationship.

Helping your partner with household chores, taking on tasks they dislike just to make their day easier, or showing empathy in moments of stress can signify deep affection. Interestingly, a simple act like peeling an orange can become a litmus test of love. 

Yes, you read that right! The Orange Peel Theory, a concept currently trending on TikTok, apparently tells you how much your partner loves you.

Let’s find out more about this theory from India’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What is it about the Orange Peel Theory?

The “orange peel theory,” a concept that has captivated social media, beautifully illustrates the essence of a healthy relationship through the lens of small, everyday acts of care.

Imagine this: you’re seated at the kitchen table, staring at an orange, wishing someone would save you the trouble of peeling it. You casually ask your partner, and their response—whether an effortless “Sure, love” or “Do it yourself” — speaks volumes.

It’s not about the orange or the task itself; it’s about their willingness to make your life easier, even in trivial moments. This simple act reflects a deeper emotional truth: love isn’t measured by grand gestures but by the quiet, thoughtful ways someone shows they care.

Whether it’s brewing your favorite cup of tea after a long day or offering to handle a chore you dislike, these small actions signal empathy, understanding, and a readiness to meet your needs. At its core, the orange peel theory reminds us that the strength of a relationship lies in the details, where love thrives in the mundane.

How does it help people?

The “orange peel theory” emphasizes small, thoughtful gestures over grand declarations of affection. It highlights attunement—being present and noticing subtle ways to brighten your partner’s day, like peeling an orange for them.

These simple acts of service can strengthen intimacy and self-esteem without words. The theory also helps de-escalate conflicts through care and attention when words fail. Gaining popularity for its relatability, ease of application, and immediate feedback, it offers a practical approach to fostering deeper connections in today’s fast-paced world.

Love Languages

The Orange Peel Theory helps explore how you and your partner give and receive love. Love languages include:

·       Gift-giving

·       Quality time

·       Acts of service

·       Physical touch

·       Words of affirmation

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Shared experiences & emotional security. For example sharing an orange can highlight a partner’s preference for quality time.

Communication Styles

The theory encourages understanding communication methods and improving them and asks meaningful questions to uncover how you both communicate and your goals.

Areas to Work On

It helps identify strengths and areas for improvement in the relationship. and celebrate the good and discuss areas that need change.

Limitations of this Theory

– Oversimplifies relationship dynamics by focusing on one act, ignoring deeper aspects like communication and conflict resolution. 

– Assumes everyone expresses love the same way, overlooking other love languages like quality time or words of affirmation. 

– Small actions may be misinterpreted, leading to misunderstandings about a partner’s feelings. 

– Encourages unhealthy “testing” of love, creating insecurity instead of trust. 

– Sets unrealistic expectations, ignoring the need for compromise and respecting individual boundaries.

Love isn’t one-size-fits-all but thrives in simple gestures. The Orange Peel Theory shows that love often lies in small acts, like peeling an orange without hesitation. Such thoughtful moments highlight care and connection.

If your partner doesn’t do this, it doesn’t mean they love you less—love is expressed in many ways. Embracing these differences fosters stronger, more meaningful relationships.

In a world where success is often tied to happiness, it’s easy to believe that accumulating more—money, possessions, recognition—will lead to fulfillment. However, even when surrounded by comforts, many still feel an unsettling void. What’s holding us back from the happiness we seek? The answer lies within: our ego.

The ego convinces us we’re incomplete and constantly in need of more. Yet its desires are insatiable, keeping true happiness out of reach. To find peace, we must let go of the ego’s grip and embrace a simpler, more authentic way of living, says India’s top marriage and relationship counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What is Ego?

The ego represents our sense of self-worth and identity, shaped by memories, beliefs, and experiences. While a healthy ego fosters confidence, an inflated one breeds arrogance and inflexibility. It becomes the mask we wear, shaping how we present ourselves to the world. Balancing the ego is key to inner peace.

How Ego Blocks Happiness?

An unchecked ego can harm relationships, mental health, and overall well-being. Here’s how it sabotages us:

• Fosters Superiority: An inflated ego creates a false sense of being better than others, leading to arrogance and strained relationships.
• Creates Rigidity: It resists change, making us inflexible and closed to new perspectives.
• Blames Others: The ego deflects responsibility, hindering self-reflection and personal growth.
• Breeds Resentment: Holding onto ego-driven grudges adds negativity to our lives.
• Triggers Fear and Anxiety: It fosters an unhealthy need to protect an idealized self-image.
• Impairs Decision-Making: Ego-driven choices can lead to missed opportunities and damaged relationships.
• Seeks Power and Control: The ego’s desire for dominance often creates conflict and dissatisfaction.

Steps to Release the Ego and Find Happiness

1. Practice Self-Reflection

Pay attention to moments when you feel defensive, angry, or eager to prove yourself right. Pause and ask: Is this reaction necessary, or is it my ego speaking? Reflecting on your emotions helps you respond thoughtfully and consider how your actions affect others.

2. Embrace Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an antidote to ego. While the ego clings to past hurts and demands validation, forgiveness frees you from resentment and allows you to heal. It’s not about excusing others but about releasing the burden of pain and opening yourself to peace and happiness.

3. Cultivate Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps you stay present and self-aware. Journaling, meditation, or mindful breathing can anchor you in the moment, reducing the ego’s influence. Supportive relationships and honest feedback also encourage self-reflection and inspire growth, helping you prioritize genuine happiness over external validation.

4. Let Go of Control

The ego thrives on the illusion of control, tying happiness to fleeting achievements and possessions. To break free, accept life’s unpredictability and embrace change. Take small risks, explore new opportunities, and find joy in simple moments. As psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests, letting go doesn’t mean giving up—it means responding with grace and trusting life’s flow.

True happiness comes from within. By releasing the ego’s hold through self-reflection, forgiveness, mindfulness, and acceptance, we can let go of unnecessary fears and desires. This shift allows us to experience deeper connections, inner peace, and a more joyful, meaningful life. Letting go of the ego is not a loss but a pathway to uncovering the beauty and balance of life.

Falling in love often feels effortless, filled with shared moments and joy. But when distance becomes part of the equation, nurturing that love demands patience, trust, and unwavering commitment. Long-distance relationships are undoubtedly challenging, trading spontaneous coffee dates and evening strolls for late-night calls and virtual hugs. Yet, they offer invaluable lessons about love, commitment, and ourselves.

What are the important things a long-distance relationship teaches you?

Let’s explore five key lessons a long-distance relationship teaches, as shared by India’s renowned marriage and relationship counselor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Time Is Valuable

A long-distance relationship reveals the fleeting nature of time and teaches us to cherish moments with our loved ones. While physical separation limits shared activities, it emphasizes emotional investment, open sharing, and attentive listening. In today’s digital age, where connections often feel superficial, long-distance relationships foster meaningful bonds through intentional conversations and deep understanding. Moments of connection—whether a heartfelt conversation or a virtual meal—become precious reminders to value the time spent with those we love.

The Art of Patience

Living apart requires an exceptional level of patience. Unlike proximity-based relationships, where instant gratification is common, long-distance relationships teach us to wait. There are times when your partner may not answer a call—not out of neglect but due to circumstances like work or travel. These moments test your ability to trust and manage misunderstandings. The prolonged wait for visits or responses often feels unbearable, but it fosters endurance, hope, and resilience. This learned patience not only strengthens your bond but also cultivates a broader life skill: appreciating delayed gratification and embracing the joy of reunions.

The Importance of Communication

Communication forms the backbone of any relationship, but its importance is magnified in long-distance setups. Being apart compels couples to practice clarity, honesty, and regular interaction. Miscommunication or withholding feelings can lead to unnecessary complications, making transparency essential. Effective communication strengthens emotional bonds, resolves conflicts, and builds trust, minimizing negative feelings. Sharing experiences, beliefs, and expectations bridges the physical gap, ensuring that emotional intimacy flourishes despite the miles.

Trust Becomes Essential

Trust is vital in any relationship, but in a long-distance dynamic, it takes center stage. Physical separation can breed uncertainty, yet this distance pushes couples to rely on trust more than ever. Gestures of love, honest communication, and patience become the foundation of emotional security. Trusting in your partner’s actions, promises, and intentions helps navigate the challenges of being apart. Setting boundaries and clear expectations further strengthens this trust, creating a secure and respectful space. Long-distance relationships demonstrate that trust transcends proximity—it’s about emotional assurance and belief in the relationship’s strength.

You Learn to Appreciate Each Other

Distance has a way of amplifying appreciation for your partner. When physically close, it’s easy to overlook gestures or become frustrated by quirks. However, separation sharpens your focus on the qualities and actions that make your partner special. The absence of their touch, voice, or presence makes their value unmistakably clear. Things once taken for granted, like a simple conversation or a laugh, gain profound significance. This newfound perspective fosters deeper gratitude and highlights the importance of the little things in a relationship.

Long-distance relationships are undeniably challenging, but they bring invaluable rewards. They teach us to treasure time, master patience, communicate effectively, build trust, and deeply appreciate our partners. Despite the obstacles, these relationships strengthen emotional connections and encourage us to value every shared moment, proving that love can thrive even across great distances.

Falling in love often feels like the beginning of a beautiful fairytale. But as most of us know, love is rarely that simple. Finding someone who truly understands, supports, and connects with you is one of life’s most precious gifts – yet it’s a journey that requires not just hope but commitment, patience, and self-reflection.

If you’re serious about finding love, you may need to take a step back and look within.

What things must you stop if you are serious about finding love?

Here are five things you should stop doing if you want to invite real, lasting love into your life according to India’s top relationship expert and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Don’t Be Picky

Even if you have a clear idea of your ideal partner, being too rigid about it can put a damper on potential romances before they even begin. Sure, it’s natural to have preferences, but when those turn into a strict checklist, you risk overlooking what really matters.

Try to focus on who the person is as an individual rather than filtering them by their political views, lifestyle choices, or job status. Getting to know someone shouldn’t feel like a job interview where you’re assessing their income or whether they own a home. A first date is about finding a connection, not filling a role, so let go of the specifics and allow space for authentic chemistry to grow.

Don’t Be Hasty

It is not right to let the thrill of new love sweep you off your feet and push you into a whirlwind of rapid decisions. Moving too fast often means missing out on the essential moments of truly getting to know someone, which can lead to misunderstandings, unmet expectations, or even emotional exhaustion. In our fast-paced world, the urge to rush can feel ingrained in us, making us crave connection and fulfillment too quickly.

However, it’s important to pause and reflect: is this truly what you want? That initial spark of attraction can change with time, revealing different facets of the person you’re interested in. So, take a step back and savor the journey. After all, this is your life, and only you can determine what’s best for your heart. Embrace the process and allow it to unfold at its own pace.

Don’t Try to Be Perfect

Perfection is a myth we often chase, but it’s essential to realize that nobody is perfect in this world. Instead of striving for an unattainable ideal, focus on being your true self and defining what you want in life and in relationships.

Many people believe they need to be flawless to find love, but this notion can lead to inauthenticity and undue pressure. Embracing your imperfections makes you relatable and lovable, as it’s those very flaws that connect us as human beings. Letting go of the need for perfection allows you to be vulnerable, paving the way for deeper connections with those who appreciate you for who you genuinely are.

Don’t Be Afraid of Rejection

Rejection is something we all experience, especially in the quest for genuine love. It’s a common hurdle that can feel daunting, but it’s crucial to recognize that rejection is not only normal but an essential part of the dating process. Instead of viewing it as a setback, consider each rejection a valuable lesson that brings you one step closer to finding someone truly compatible.

Embracing this fear can significantly enhance your chances of discovering love, as it encourages you to take risks and meet new people. Remember, while the fear of rejection is a natural response, it shouldn’t dictate your actions. Living in constant avoidance of rejection leads to inauthenticity and prevents you from forming meaningful connections. Embrace vulnerability and let each experience shape your journey toward love.

Don’t be Afraid of New Experiences

Step outside your comfort zone if you’re truly serious about finding love. Embracing new experiences can be a transformative journey, opening doors to friendships and romantic relationships you may not have imagined. Whether it’s exploring unfamiliar places, diving into a new sport, or attending vibrant cultural events, each adventure presents opportunities to connect with others.

Moreover, stepping into the unknown not only enriches your life but also makes you a more interesting and well-rounded individual, qualities that are naturally appealing to those seeking meaningful connections. If finding love is important to you, take that leap and discover the possibilities waiting just beyond your comfort zone.

It is evident from this that finding love requires introspection and openness. By letting go of rigid expectations, avoiding haste, embracing imperfections, facing rejection, and seeking new experiences, you can create space for genuine connections. Ultimately, these steps invite lasting love into your life, enriching your journey.

In today’s digital age, texting has become a significant part of how couples communicate. While quick and convenient, texting can impact a relationship both positively and negatively depending on how it’s used. Developing healthy texting habits can help maintain a strong emotional connection with your partner while avoiding misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts.

What are some of the healthy texting habits that are good for your relationship?

Here are some key texting habits that are good for your relationship as explained by Delhi NCR’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

Keep Communication Open and Honest

Honesty is the cornerstone of any relationship, and texting should reflect this value. Avoid using texts to hide your feelings or to avoid difficult conversations. If you feel upset or concerned about something, it’s better to express it calmly and openly. Texting can sometimes make emotions difficult to convey, so it’s important to be as clear and direct as possible.

Tip: Avoid sending passive-aggressive or unclear messages. Instead, communicate your feelings directly and follow up with a phone call or in-person conversation when discussing important matters.

Use Texting for Positive Reinforcement

Texting is a great way to show affection and appreciation for your partner throughout the day. Simple messages like “I love you,” “I’m thinking of you,” or “Good luck with your meeting!” can brighten their day and make them feel valued. Positive reinforcement helps strengthen emotional bonds, and these little gestures can have a big impact over time.

Tip: Make it a habit to send encouraging or affectionate texts that remind your partner they’re on your mind, even during busy times.

Respect Boundaries

While frequent texting can be a way to stay connected, it’s important to respect each other’s personal space and boundaries. Avoid over-texting or expecting immediate responses, especially during work hours or when your partner is busy. Everyone needs time away from their phone, and respecting that space is crucial to maintaining a healthy balance in communication.

Tip: If you know your partner is at work or involved in a task, don’t expect an immediate reply. Communicate openly about your texting habits and find a rhythm that works for both of you.

Avoid Over-Reliance on Texting

Although texting is convenient, it shouldn’t replace real, in-person conversations, especially when discussing serious or emotionally charged topics. Tone and intention can often be misinterpreted over text, leading to misunderstandings. Whenever possible, save important conversations for when you’re together or at least for a phone or video call.

Tip: If a text conversation starts to become heated or serious, suggest switching to a call to avoid further miscommunication.

Be Thoughtful with Timing

Timing matters when it comes to texting. Sending texts late at night or during stressful moments can create unnecessary tension. It’s essential to be considerate of your partner’s routine and circumstances. If your partner is dealing with a stressful situation, it might be better to offer support through a kind message rather than texting about unrelated issues.

Tip: Time your messages wisely. Be mindful of when you’re texting and avoid sending messages that could potentially cause stress at inconvenient times.

Express Gratitude

In a healthy relationship, gratitude goes a long way, and texting is a great way to express it. A simple “thank you” for something small your partner did can create positive reinforcement. Let them know you appreciate the little things they do by sending a short message acknowledging their efforts.

Tip: Send texts that convey your gratitude, like “Thanks for making dinner” or “I appreciate you always checking in on me.”

Be Mindful of Emojis and Punctuation

Texting leaves a lot of room for interpretation, so being mindful of your tone is important. Emojis and punctuation can help clarify the tone of your message and prevent miscommunication. For example, a simple period can make a message seem more serious or cold, while a smiley face or exclamation point can convey warmth and excitement.

Tip: Use emojis and punctuation to help express your feelings clearly, especially when the tone of your message might be easily misunderstood.

Texting is an important tool for modern relationships, but like all forms of communication, it needs to be used mindfully. Open communication, positive reinforcement, and respect for boundaries are key to maintaining a healthy texting dynamic with your partner. By fostering these habits, you can build a stronger, more connected relationship.