Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, relationships often find themselves caught in the mundane monotony. The initial spark that once ignited passion and excitement may dwindle over time, leaving couples feeling disconnected. However, fear not, for there’s a delightful remedy that not only rekindles the flame but also adds an extra dash of excitement – cooking together as a couple.

Let us find out more from leading couples therapist and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

How Couple Cooking Can Transform the Ordinary into the Extraordinary, Infusing Relationship with Renewed Vitality?

Shivani Sadhoo says, given below factors arise while a couple cooks together:

1. Enhanced Communication

Cooking together is more than just following a recipe; it’s the subtle nods, shared glances, and synchronized movements that deepen connections beyond words. In the kitchen, communication becomes an art, vital for a successful dinner service at home, much like in a restaurant.

From chopping instructions to timing, cooking requires seamless collaboration, and developing non-verbal understanding. Solving culinary challenges together, whether it’s a salty soup or an overly sweet dessert, hones communication and problem-solving skills, creating a recipe for navigating life hand in hand.

2. Making Memories

Cooking together forms cherished memories, weaving special moments into the fabric of life. From Mother’s Day brunch to a Diwali feast, life’s milestones are often intertwined with food. Research indicates that the aroma of dishes holds a unique power to evoke potent memories.

In the kitchen, creating flavours and smells with loved ones becomes a recipe for lasting positive associations, igniting special recollections with every shared culinary adventure.

3. All About Teamwork

Cooking together is more than just chopping vegetables and stirring pots. It’s a chance to ace teamwork. Keeping the kitchen clean or doing dishes together is teamwork too. Whether you’re chopping veggies or cleaning up, divide tasks fairly. Even if cooking isn’t your thing, being in the same space matters. As adults, cooking builds curiosity, creativity, and teamwork—essential for healthy relationships.

4.  A Great Stressbuster

Cooking together is like a therapy session for couples. From chopping vegetables to boiling an egg – it’s a shared meditation that lets you escape life’s chaos. Spending that time with your love not only reduces stress but also triggers those feel-good hormones.

Life’s challenges can pile up, affecting relationships, but couple cooking brings warmth and connection. So, unwind, bond, and create something delicious amid the craziness. It’s not just a meal; it’s a recipe for a happier relationship.

5. Develop Intimate Bonding

In a world dominated by screens and constant connectivity, couple cooking offers a rare opportunity to unplug and focus on each other. The kitchen transforms into a haven, drowning out distractions for an intimate rendezvous. It’s a deliberate break from tech, a reminder to savor each other’s company. Sharing the effort of a homemade meal brings a unique satisfaction.

Complimenting each other’s culinary skills? That’s the secret sauce for feel-good vibes! Make at-home cooking dates a regular ritual; it’s a delicious way to spice up your bond.

When couples venture into the kitchen together, they set sail on a journey that transcends the ordinary. Beyond the sizzle of pans and the aroma of shared meals, cooking becomes a catalyst for enhanced communication, cherished memories, seamless teamwork, stress relief, and intimate bonding.

In the midst of chopping, stirring, and tasting, relationships find a recipe for renewal, transforming mundane moments into extraordinary connections that endure the test of time.

Love is a magical and exhilarating emotion, weaving dreams of togetherness and happiness. However, marriage isn’t always the immediate destination of this beautiful journey. Many couples find themselves head over heels in love but realize they aren’t quite ready to take the plunge.

It could be fear, insecurities, or simply a lack of readiness, urging us to be vigilant for signs indicating our partner might not be emotionally prepared for a genuine relationship. Eminent relationship expert and couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares her tips in this article.

What are the signs to look out for to check if a person is emotionally ready for a real relationship?

Some of the signs that are explained by Shivani regarding a partner is not emotionally ready for a relationship are:

They Avoid Honest Communication

An essential cornerstone of a healthy relationship lies in open and honest communication. If your partner habitually engages in stonewalling, evades discussing their emotions, sidesteps challenging conversations, or emotionally withdraws during intense moments, it may indicate an unreadiness for a genuine, committed relationship. Strong relationships are nurtured through a consistent and open dialogue, where both partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions.

When They’re Practically Off The Grid

When an individual displays a penchant for distancing themselves physically and emotionally, they may be classified as emotionally unavailable. ‘Ghosting’ i.e. sudden disappearances followed by unpredictable reappearances, reflects this emotional disengagement. ‘Benching’ or ‘Breadcrumbing’ occurs when a partner keeps you on the outskirts of their life, rarely initiating contact.

‘Zombie-ing’ is when the emotionally unavailable individual reappears after a silence, leaving you emotionally perplexed and disconnected, without an explanation or apology. These actions signify a reluctance to engage in genuine, meaningful communication.

Avoids Future Planning

Emotional readiness involves envisioning a shared future and making plans together. If your partner consistently avoids discussing or making plans for the future, whether it’s about living arrangements, careers, or family, they may not be emotionally prepared to invest in a long-term relationship.

Being Selfish

A real relationship involves mutual support, care, and consideration. If your partner consistently prioritizes their needs, goals, and desires above yours without considering your feelings, it suggests they may not be emotionally prepared to share their life and emotional space with someone else.

Your Time is Not So Important

If your partner frequently cancels plans and doesn’t respect your time, it’s a red flag. Quality time together is vital for a relationship, and constant cancellations show a lack of emotional investment. If they cancel often and seem disinterested when you do meet, they might not be ready for a real relationship.

Afraid of Being Too Close?

Emotional intimacy is at the core of a genuine relationship. If your partner is uncomfortable with physical affection, avoids cuddling, or resists spending quality time together, they may be struggling with their own fear of intimacy, which can be a significant roadblock to a real, deep connection.

Humor And Sarcasm

Do you notice how some people respond with humor and sarcasm instead of showing true emotions? Instead of facing feelings of anger or disappointment, emotionally unavailable individuals make light of serious situations. For instance, if a friend shares a personal struggle, they might make a joke to deflect from discussing their true feelings and vulnerability disconnecting emotionally from you in the process.

What did we learn today?

Understanding emotional unreadiness in a partner is crucial for building a genuine, committed relationship. Signs such as avoiding honest communication, emotional distancing, selfishness, and a reluctance to plan for the future can indicate a lack of readiness for deep emotional connection. Being vigilant about these signs can help individuals make informed decisions about their relationships.

What is Sleep Divorce – Reveals Eminent Marriage Counsellor Shivani Sadhoo That is Fastly Catching up in Couples

When we think of divorce, we often imagine two individuals separating from each other and going their separate ways. But have you ever heard of a sleep divorce? It is a relatively new concept that has been making the rounds lately. To put it simply, sleep divorce is when couples choose to sleep in separate beds or bedrooms or even different homes to improve their sleep quality and overall well-being.

While some couples may initially feel hesitant about the idea of sleeping apart, studies have shown that sleep deprivation can have negative effects on both physical and mental health. Leading marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares insights on what exactly is sleep divorce.

Why do couples ‘sleep divorce’?

Now, you may wonder, “Why on earth would anyone want to sleep alone when they have a loving partner to snuggle up with?” The reasons are many.

Snoring: For some couples, snoring is the culprit. One may sound like a bear in hibernation, while the other lies there with a pillow over their head, counting sheep, and trying to ignore the noise.

Different sleep schedules: Others may have different sleeping schedules due to work, hobbies, or other obligations. One may prefer to stay up late while the other is an early bird. Having different sleep schedules can lead to disturbance in each other’s sleep, leaving them feeling exhausted and grumpy the next day. A sleep divorce can help them maintain their sanity and get the rest they need.

Temperature difference: Some like it hot, some like it cold. She piles on the blankets while he tosses them off. It’s a never-ending battle that can make for some uncomfortable sleeping conditions. Eventually, they might decide that separate beds with their own individual thermostats are the only solution.

How can ‘sleep divorce’ benefit couples?

Sometimes love and intimacy are not enough to keep a couple in bed together at night. Sleeping separately from your partner may seem like a drastic step, but it can have a significant positive impact on your overall well-being.

Quality of sleep matters

When you’re not being jostled awake by a partner’s snoring, blanket stealing, or tossing and turning, your quality of sleep will automatically improve which is essential for good health.

Relationship resilience

Putting your sleep needs first will make both of you happier and healthier. Then, when you do get together for snuggles and cuddles, you’ll be more present and attentive to each other. It will further strengthen your relationship.

More independence: When couples sleep apart, each partner can pursue their own interests and activities without bothering the other. This allows couples to have more freedom and flexibility, creating a healthy balance between togetherness and personal autonomy.

Reduces conflict: When couples sleep separately, they can have their own sleep schedules and routines that don’t have to conflict with one another. This helps reduce stress in the relationship, which can lead to fewer arguments and less overall conflict.

Every couple is different. What works for one person may not work for another. Sleep divorce might be worth considering if your sleep habits cause tension in your relationship. After all, a well-rested couple is a happy couple!