Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

For years, relationships were measured by an unattainable ideal of perfection. Social media, movies, and glossy magazines painted pictures of flawless couples—always smiling, never fighting, and seemingly living a fairy-tale life. This pursuit of perfection has often left people feeling inadequate, disconnected, or pressured to perform rather than simply be themselves. But things are changing.

In today’s world, authenticity is fast becoming more attractive than perfection. People are craving sincerity, vulnerability, and genuine connection over carefully curated images. Love that feels real is winning over love that merely looks perfect, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is a top couples therapist and one of the best marriage counsellors in Delhi and India.

Perfection Is Unrelatable

Nobody is perfect. We all carry quirks, insecurities, and struggles. When someone tries too hard to appear flawless, it can make them seem unapproachable or even inauthentic. Real life is messy, and people resonate more with imperfection because it mirrors their own reality. Showing flaws signals that you are human, just like everyone else, and makes space for true understanding.

Authenticity Builds Trust

Acting perfect often comes across as performative, as though there is something to hide. Authenticity, on the other hand, builds trust. When you are honest about mistakes or imperfections, it reassures your partner that you are genuine, which makes them feel safe and comfortable. Trust becomes the foundation on which lasting relationships are built.

Flaws Make You Unique

Conforming to society’s version of “perfect” often strips away individuality. Your imperfections are what make you memorable and different. A quirky laugh, a love for something unusual, or even awkward moments—these are the qualities that stand out and make someone fall in love with the real you. Rather than erasing flaws, embracing them adds depth and charm to your personality.

Vulnerability Invites Connection

True intimacy doesn’t come from polished perfection; it comes from vulnerability. When you are willing to admit your fears, struggles, or insecurities, you invite others to open up too. This creates a safe space for empathy and deeper connection. Vulnerability may feel uncomfortable at first, but it is often the bridge to emotional closeness.

The Illusion of Perfection Is Exhausting

Maintaining a façade of perfection demands constant energy, and it quickly becomes draining. The effort to always appear flawless leads to stress and even burnout. Authenticity, by contrast, is freeing. People are drawn to those who are comfortable in their own skin because it feels natural and effortless. Letting go of the pressure to be perfect not only brings relief but also makes relationships more sustainable.

Imperfection Fuels Growth

If perfection were possible, there would be no room for growth or self-improvement. Acknowledging flaws shows humility and self-awareness, both of which are highly attractive traits. When couples accept imperfection, they approach mistakes as opportunities to learn and evolve together rather than as failures to be hidden. Growth then becomes a shared journey, adding strength to the bond.

Sincerity Is Magnetic

Sincerity is one of the most attractive qualities a person can possess. People can sense when someone is being real and when they are performing. Acting perfectly often feels rehearsed, while sincerity is refreshing. It builds respect and warmth, allowing relationships to develop in a genuine way. This magnetism of sincerity draws people closer because it feels authentic and reliable.

Flaws Create Stories Worth Sharing

Some of the most memorable and meaningful stories come from imperfections, missteps, or unexpected turns. When people hide their flaws, they also hide these rich experiences. Imperfections bring humor, relatability, and depth to relationships. The shared laughter over awkward moments or lessons learned from failures often become the cherished stories couples carry for years.

Why Authenticity Wins in Relationships?

According to leading relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, when both partners embrace authenticity, relationships become stronger and more resilient. Trust grows because there is nothing to hide. Emotional intimacy deepens because both feel accepted as they are. Resilience develops because imperfections are not feared but faced together. Ultimately, authenticity creates the freedom to be yourself without judgment, to love without conditions, and to grow without pretending.

Conclusion: Imperfection Is Your Superpower

Perfection may appear appealing at first glance, but it is isolating and unsustainable. Authenticity nurtures trust, connection, and joy. Your quirks, flaws, and raw moments are not weaknesses—they are what make you human and lovable. In today’s world, being real has become far more magnetic than chasing perfection.

Authenticity is not just attractive; it is the foundation of love that lasts. By celebrating imperfections, sharing your stories, and embracing vulnerability, you open the door to deeper and more meaningful connections. Being flawed and sincere is not a limitation—it is your greatest strength.

You’ve raised kids, built careers, and weathered life’s highs and lows together. But somewhere in the comfort of routine and responsibility, romance took a backseat. If you’re in your 40s or 50s and feel like your marriage has grown dull, you’re not alone. The good news? Boredom isn’t the end—it’s often the beginning of a new phase of connection, if you’re willing to revive it.

Why Marriages Often Turn Boring in the 40s & 50s?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a leading couples therapist and one of the best marriage counsellors in Delhi, shares why marriage often turns boring in the 40s and 50s. Here are some reasons

Routine Replaces Romance – Life in midlife often becomes a loop: work, bills, errands, and family duties. Over time, spontaneity tends to fade, and interactions become more functional than emotional.

Empty Nest & Identity Shifts – When children leave home, couples may realise they’ve lost touch with each other as individuals, not just as parents. There’s often a sense of emotional distance that grows slowly and quietly.

Physical and Emotional Changes – Hormonal changes, health issues, and shifting priorities can impact intimacy and emotional availability. This affects how connected couples feel, physically and mentally.

Unresolved Conflicts and Resentments – Years of small misunderstandings or unmet needs may build a wall of emotional fatigue. The love is there, but it may be buried under years of silence or compromise.

Lack of Novelty – Doing the same things with the same person in the same way can lead to emotional stagnation. When couples stop learning or growing together, boredom can sneak in.

How to rekindle love and rejuvenate your marriage in your 40s & 50s?

Talk Again—But Really Talk: Rebuild Emotional Intimacy by Having Deeper Conversations. Avoid logistics or problem-solving. Ask each other:

• What dreams do you still want to pursue?
• What’s something you’ve never told me?

A few heartfelt talks can bring you emotionally closer than months of routine.

Create New Shared Experiences – Break monotony by doing something new together:

• Travel to places you’ve never been
• Join a class or hobby group
• Take up a joint fitness challenge

Novelty stimulates dopamine, the same feel-good hormone from your early dating days.

Reignite Physical Intimacy – Touch matters. Start with simple gestures—holding hands, a hug that lasts a few seconds longer, or a kiss before sleep. Physical closeness often leads to emotional warmth.

Don’t hesitate to talk about physical needs. Midlife sex may change, but it can also become more emotionally satisfying when you’re in sync.

Schedule Quality Time Without Distractions – Create a weekly “us time.” No phones, no TV, no errands. Whether it’s coffee on the balcony, an evening walk, or a weekend breakfast date—showing up regularly builds emotional presence.

Seek Counselling or a Relationship Coach – Sometimes, an external guide helps couples see blind spots or rekindle emotional closeness. Don’t wait until there’s a crisis—therapy in midlife can act as a relationship reset button.

Celebrate Small Moments

Rekindling love doesn’t need grand gestures. Compliment each other, laugh over old memories, or cook a meal together. It’s the small, repeated acts of care that turn routine into romance.

A boring marriage doesn’t mean a broken one. The 40s and 50s are a golden opportunity to deepen your connection—with the wisdom, maturity, and resilience you’ve both gained. Love evolves, and so can you. With intention and openness, you can turn a predictable routine into a renewed partnership full of joy, intimacy, and shared growth.

Did you think that only unmarried couples embark on romantic dates? Think again. As relationships mature, passion may dwindle. Whether you’ve been wed for years or just tied the knot, it is essential for married couples to continue nurturing their romantic connection. From unconventional outings to cozy home evenings, you can make these moments special for each other.

What could be some of the romantic night ideas?

Marriage counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares innovative date night ideas to rejuvenate passion and keep the flame alive in long-term relationships.

1. Take a Simple Walk

Sometimes, amidst life’s complexities, a simple walk becomes a serene voyage for married couples. Engaging in unhurried strolls, hand in hand, under the moonlit sky fosters an intimate atmosphere. The unhurried pace allows for genuine conversations, rekindling the flame of connection and developing a renewed sense of shared companionship.

2. Plan A Romantic Movie Night

Sometimes, the simplest joys rekindle the flames of romance. Sharing a movie night at home, carefully curating a watchlist, and preparing snacks together not only offer comfort but also a chance to reminisce. Under the stars or in a cozy home cinema, this shared experience becomes a nostalgic journey, evoking emotions from the early days, building connections, and igniting the spark of love anew.

3. Art can create magic in your relationship

Engaging in artistic activities as a couple fosters a unique bond, rekindling romance through shared creativity. Whether attending a painting class or trying DIY projects at home, the collaborative process creates special memories.

Embracing imperfections, like sketching a partner in a funny costume, becomes a testament to the love invested. Art serves as a medium for connection, rekindling the spark and weaving a tapestry of shared experiences in marriage.

4. Add Melody to your relationship

Ever wondered how a simple Karaoke night could reignite the spark in your marriage? Singing together isn’t just about hitting the right notes; it’s a shared journey of laughter, vulnerability, and rediscovery. Embrace the imperfect melodies, and you’ll find that these harmonious moments foster a deeper connection, rekindling the romance that initially brought you two together.

5. Playing games

Did you know that playing games can spice up your marriage? Embracing your inner child through board games not only adds fun but also sparks joy and connection. It’s like a playful escape from reality, creating moments that rekindle the romance. So, why not ditch the mundane, pick a favorite game, and let the laughter and competition weave a new chapter of togetherness in your love story?

6. Let’s Cook Together

Whisking up a homemade feast together, from sizzling steaks to decadent desserts, turns your kitchen into a love-filled haven. As you chop, stir, and savor, the aroma of shared efforts creates a bond that goes beyond the dining table. Cooking as a couple not only ignites the stove but also sparks the flames of romance, reminding you both of the sweet symphony that first drew you close.

7. Read together

Sharing the joy of reading can reignite the spark in a marriage by creating intimate moments. As you both immerse yourselves in love sonnets or captivating stories, the shared experience builds a unique connection.

The act of reading together promotes intimacy, evoking emotions that revive the romantic essence. It’s a simple, yet profound, way to rediscover the enchantment that initially brought you together, making it a cherished date night activity.

From simple walks encouraging genuine conversations to artistic activities, movie nights, music, games, cooking, and reading together—each suggestion provides a unique avenue for couples to rekindle the flame, strengthening the bond of love.