Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Marriage is a journey full of growth, discovery, and sometimes challenges that test the bond between two people. While every relationship is unique, most marriages tend to go through recognisable stages. Understanding these phases can help couples navigate difficulties, strengthen their connection, and set realistic expectations, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a leading relationship expert and one of the top marriage counsellors in Delhi and India.

Questions You Might Ask

1. Why do couples often face the most difficulties in the early years of marriage?

Many challenges emerge as couples move beyond the initial excitement of marriage into the realities of everyday life. Differences in habits, communication styles, and expectations can surface, often leading to conflict if not addressed consciously.

2. Can a marriage survive Stage 3, the Power Struggle?

Yes. Stage 3 can feel intense, but with open communication, mutual understanding, and a willingness to grow, couples can emerge stronger. It’s less about avoiding conflict and more about learning to navigate it together.

6 Stages of Marriage, as explained by couples therapist Shivani Sadhoo

Stage 1: The Honeymoon Phase

This is the period of excitement and idealisation. Everything feels new and thrilling, and couples often overlook imperfections as they focus on love and connection.

Stage 2: Reality Sets In

As the initial excitement fades, differences between partners become more apparent. Habits, routines, and even quirks that were previously endearing can now feel challenging.

Stage 3: The Power Struggle

Often called the toughest stage, this is when conflicts and disagreements become more frequent. Couples question whether the marriage will last and confront unresolved personal or relational issues. The emotional intensity can feel overwhelming, but it’s also a stage that provides the opportunity to build resilience and a deeper understanding if navigated consciously.

Stage 4: Rebuilding and Acceptance

After working through conflicts, couples start to regain trust and understanding. Acceptance of each other’s differences and the ability to compromise strengthen the foundation of the relationship.

Stage 5: Deep Connection

By this stage, couples often feel a profound emotional and spiritual bond. They communicate more effectively, support each other’s growth, and share a sense of partnership that goes beyond surface-level romance.

Stage 6: Legacy and Purpose

Here, couples focus on building something bigger than themselves, whether it’s family, community, or shared goals. There’s a sense of fulfilment in contributing together and leaving a lasting impact.

Identifying Your Stage

Recognising which phase your marriage is in can help you manage expectations, enhance communication, and approach challenges more intentionally. If you find yourself in Stage 3, remember that feeling tested doesn’t mean failure—it’s an opportunity for growth.

Strategies to navigate Stage 3 include:

• Seeking couples therapy or professional guidance
• Reconnecting emotionally and fostering intimacy
• Prioritising personal growth alongside relational growth
• Learning constructive conflict resolution techniques

Marriage isn’t a final destination but an ongoing journey. Each stage has its purpose, and even the toughest periods, like Stage 3, can strengthen the bond between partners when approached with patience and commitment.

In today’s fast-paced and often stressful world, mental health has taken centre stage. More people are turning to therapy as a way to better understand themselves, manage their emotions, and lead more fulfilling lives. One of the most well-known and widely used approaches is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). But as therapy continues to evolve, a newer approach known as Positive CBT has begun to gain attention. So, what exactly is Positive CBT, and how does it differ from traditional CBT? This is explained by India’s top marriage counsellor and CBT Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT, is a structured, short-term therapy that focuses on the connection between thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. It’s based on the idea that negative patterns of thinking can lead to emotional distress and unhelpful behaviours. By identifying and challenging these patterns, individuals can learn to think more clearly and behave more constructively.

For instance, someone struggling with self-doubt might constantly think, “I always mess things up.” CBT would help them recognise this thought, question its accuracy, and replace it with something more realistic, such as, “I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve also done things well.”

CBT is highly effective for treating conditions like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and more. Its structured, goal-oriented nature makes it easy to apply in both short- and long-term therapy.

What is Positive CBT?

While traditional CBT focuses on correcting what’s wrong, Positive CBT takes a different route—it builds on what’s already right. It draws from the field of positive psychology and aims to help individuals not only reduce distress but also thrive emotionally and psychologically.

In Positive CBT, the therapist helps the client identify personal strengths, values, and moments of success. Rather than focusing solely on symptoms or dysfunction, it emphasises hope, growth, and possibility. Clients might explore questions like: What does my best self look like? What brings me meaning? When have I felt proud or capable?

The same techniques used in CBT—such as journaling, thought records, and goal setting—are still used, but they’re reframed through a more optimistic and forward-looking lens.

How does Positive CBT help couples therapy?

Positive CBT is especially impactful in the context of couples therapy. Relationships often suffer when partners focus too much on problems—what’s going wrong, what’s missing, or who’s at fault. While addressing conflicts is important, Positive CBT adds another layer by helping couples rediscover what’s working.

In couples therapy, this approach encourages partners to recognise each other’s strengths, revisit shared values, and rebuild emotional connection. Instead of getting stuck in cycles of blame or criticism, couples are guided to focus on gratitude, empathy, and shared positive experiences.

Therapists might ask questions like:

• What first drew you to your partner?
• What strengths do you bring to the relationship?
• When do you feel most connected or supported by each other?

By reinforcing the positive aspects of the relationship and building on shared successes, couples are often better able to handle challenges together. It transforms the tone of therapy from fixing a broken bond to strengthening a meaningful one.

Positive Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a powerful evolution of traditional CBT. While classic CBT focuses on managing symptoms and solving problems, Positive CBT goes a step further—it empowers people to lead richer, more meaningful lives.

Whether applied to individuals seeking personal growth or couples looking to reconnect, Positive CBT promotes resilience, optimism, and deeper relationships. It helps us not only cope with the world as it is, but also shape it into the one we want to live in—starting from the inside out.