Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

We live in an era where relationships are no longer confined to traditional definitions. Love, commitment, and companionship have taken on various forms, often influenced by social media, dating apps, and evolving societal norms.

From situationships to ghosting, breadcrumbing to benching, modern relationship dynamics have become increasingly intricate. The once-clear distinction between casual and serious commitments has blurred, making many wonder: Are people afraid of long-term relationships? Can there be a relationship devoid of emotions?

If you’ve ever pondered whether such a connection is possible, psychologist and eminent relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo sheds light on the concept of no-strings-attached (NSA) relationships and what they truly entail. 

What does No Strings Attached mean?

A “no strings attached” (NSA) relationship is all about passion without the weight of commitment. Whether romantic, sexual, or business-related, it thrives on mutual consent, freedom, and zero expectations. Think of it as an endless honeymoon phase—carefree, fun, and pressure-free—where no one anticipates a fairytale ending, just the joy of the moment.

What is the Psychology behind No Strings Attached?

The psychological factors that probably contribute to NSA are:

• Avoiding Emotional Vulnerability: Setting clear boundaries helps individuals protect themselves from potential hurt or disappointment if feelings develop.

• Freedom and Exploration: Allows both partners to experiment with different sexual dynamics and desires without the pressure of commitment.

• Emotional Independence: Ideal for those prioritizing personal growth or busy lifestyles, as it offers emotional freedom without the responsibilities of a committed relationship.

• Managing Expectations: Clearly defining the relationship as “no strings attached” minimizes misunderstandings about commitment levels.

• Individualistic Focus: Encourages prioritizing personal needs and desires over a partner’s, emphasizing personal agency and freedom.

• Exploration and Sexual Satisfaction: Provides a safe space to explore physical desires, experiment with preferences, and boosts sexual confidence.

What do You Gain in No Strings Attached?

1. No Need To Commit – If you are someone who isn’t ready to settle down, an NSA relationship can be ideal. With no pressure to commit, it offers convenience, freedom, and enjoyment without relationship-based responsibilities. There’s no exclusivity unless agreed upon, allowing individuals to engage with multiple partners. It’s a carefree way to explore connections without long-term obligations or vows.

2. Time is not a Constraint – In today’s fast-paced world, time is a luxury. An NSA (No Strings Attached) relationship offers the advantage of flexibility, allowing individuals to connect without the pressure of strict schedules or long-term commitments. Unlike traditional relationships, NSA interactions fit seamlessly into busy lifestyles, ensuring enjoyment without overwhelming obligations. With no need to coordinate availability, partners can focus on shared moments without sacrificing personal or professional priorities.

3. Self-Exploration – It helps you explore different relationship dynamics without commitment, giving insight into what you truly value in a partner. By experiencing various interactions, you become aware of traits you appreciate and those you cannot tolerate. This freedom boosts confidence, enhances communication, and allows self-discovery. A no-strings-attached arrangement helps you assess what works for you, ensuring you make informed choices when seeking a meaningful future relationship.

What Do We Lose?

1. Emotional Turmoil – The biggest drawback of an NSA relationship is the risk of emotional pain. When feelings get involved, someone often ends up hurt, feeling used or unvalued. If one partner develops deeper emotions while the other doesn’t, it leads to heartbreak. Though NSA relationships start with no expectations, they can still result in conflict and painful endings, making emotional detachment difficult in the long run.

2. Low Self-esteem – A “No Strings Attached” (NSA) relationship can negatively impact self-confidence by causing emotional detachment and feelings of being “used.” The lack of commitment may lead to anxiety, rejection fears, and self-doubt, especially if one person develops deeper feelings. Studies link casual sex to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. While NSA can boost confidence temporarily, it often undermines self-worth in the long run.

3. Negative Impact on Mental and Physical Health -Casual relationships might seem risk-free, but they come with hidden health risks. Without commitment or accountability, the chances of STIs increase due to a lack of exclusivity. Another overlooked aspect is sexual aftercare—emotional and physical support after intimacy. In committed relationships, partners naturally care for each other’s well-being, but in casual encounters, this essential care is often missing, affecting both physical and emotional health.

In a nutshell, NSA relationships offer freedom, excitement, and self-exploration without the weight of commitment. However, they come with emotional risks, potential self-esteem issues, and health concerns. While they suit some, they may not be for everyone. Understanding personal boundaries and expectations is key to making informed choices in modern relationship dynamics.

Once the dating phase is over and you’re ready to take the big step into marriage, your mind is bound to be filled with questions. From financial responsibilities to emotional compatibility, family expectations, and future planning, there’s so much to consider before saying, “I do.” Even if you’ve touched upon some of these topics, there are still important conversations to have—especially before you embark on your honeymoon.

The honeymoon isn’t just a time for travel and romance; it’s an opportunity to understand your partner in a new light truly. This phase sets the foundation for your married life, allowing you to observe each other’s habits, expectations, and emotional needs in a more intimate setting.

What are the key things couples need to discuss before their honeymoon?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, Delhi’s top marriage counsellor, and couples therapist shares seven essential things that every couple should discuss before their honeymoon.

Money Matters

Setting a budget before heading on your honeymoon is a must. It helps you enjoy your trip without financial stress. Consider travel, accommodation, food, and activities while planning. Don’t forget extra costs like shopping for loved ones.

Unexpected expenses can come up, so keep a little extra aside. A well-planned budget ensures a smooth and memorable honeymoon without overspending or regrets later. Smart planning makes the trip more enjoyable.

Choose Your Destination Wisely

Choosing the right honeymoon destination is crucial for a memorable start to your journey together. You may dream of adventure—skydiving, scuba diving, or trekking—while she longs for a peaceful beach retreat, watching waves dance like fairies in a folktale.

If expectations don’t align, disappointment may follow. Sit down, discuss, and find a destination that excites both of you. A well-planned honeymoon ensures happiness, harmony, and cherished moments that last a lifetime.

Talk About The Menstrual Cycle

Talking about the menstrual cycle before your honeymoon is essential for a smooth and comfortable trip. It helps both partners set expectations and plan activities accordingly. Some women experience cramps, mood swings, or fatigue, which can affect their enjoyment. Knowing the cycle dates allows better scheduling and avoids unexpected stress.

If the honeymoon coincides with her period, discussing options like medication, rest, or adjusting plans ensures a stress-free experience. Open communication strengthens understanding, care, and intimacy in the relationship.

Birth Control

Another important topic to discuss before your honeymoon is birth control. Planning ahead can help prevent unwanted pregnancies, reducing physical, emotional, and financial stress. Sharing responsibility for birth control strengthens your relationship and ensures peace of mind. It’s important to talk about your options and decide what works best for both of you. Some methods take time to become effective, so early planning is key. After all, you want to focus on enjoying your honeymoon without worries.

Set Boundaries

When you set boundaries in a relationship, it is not about restricting each other but about creating a safe and respectful space. Both partners should decide together what is acceptable and what is not. Open discussions about privacy, intimacy, and social interactions help avoid misunderstandings.

This is especially important before a honeymoon, where clear expectations about personal space, finances, and activities prevent conflicts. Talking about comfort levels ensures a stress-free and enjoyable time together, strengthening the bond.

Likes and Dislikes

Do you want your honeymoon to be a dream come true rather than a stressful trip filled with disagreements? Understanding each other’s preferences, likes, and dislikes is the key. Before setting off, couples should openly discuss what they want to do, see, and eat.

This helps avoid misunderstandings and ensures both partners feel included. When both know what the other enjoys, they can plan activities that suit their interests, making the trip more fun, memorable, and fulfilling for both.

Shared Values

If you really want your honeymoon to be the start of a strong and lasting marriage, deep conversations about values are a must. You and your partner won’t agree on everything, and that’s okay. What matters is understanding each other’s perspectives and respecting differences. Shared values don’t mean identical opinions but rather a common understanding of what truly matters. This helps build trust, avoid unnecessary conflicts, and create a bond that can withstand life’s ups and downs.

A honeymoon is more than just a getaway—it’s the first step in your married journey. Open conversations about money, travel plans, health, boundaries, and values create a strong foundation for a happy marriage. When couples understand and respect each other’s needs, they build trust, deepen love, and create memories that last a lifetime.

Be it arrange marriage scenario or online dating, sometimes a girl meets a man who seems too much in a hurry to let the relationship happen. Such men may talk about planning children, ask for physical intimacy even before knowing you properly.

They never seem bothered or willing to understand what a woman feels about them. Surely, they are a real turn off for every woman, but if you are confused if you are making the right decision or not, Delhi’s eminent Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares fours signs to identify if the man is needy and desperate.

Repeated Sweet Talker

After the first date, this man will talk sweet, but ‘every time’. Yes, this is the first sign that he simply cannot do without you ever. If post the first few dates, a man is repeatedly texting you throughout the day, explaining to you that he is busy thinking about you, imagining his life with you, and is more than eager to meet you every now and then ( makes you feel embarrassed outside your workplace with gifts or bunch of flowers), well, actually he is way too desperate and clingy. Think about it, either the man is simply trying to get hooked on, or he is desperately in need of a woman.

I Need You Too

He wants to be with you even when you are with your friends. Which person does not like a small gathering time with friends, without their partner? But what when your man is more than willing and adamant to be a part of your girl gang, even when he is uninvited. Just think what you would ever feel if your friend brings along her date when your girl group is having that bonding time. Won’t you think, he cannot even leave her alone for once.

Looking to do Things Faster

Has he initiated talks about the future like sex, moving in, marriage, children, and finances all too soon? Actually, there he is, this man wants it all at once and instantly, actually, he falls in the category “needs it now”. He needs you to the extent of not trying or thinking to even wait for you to think about them or time to pass before he even understands you better.

No More with Friends

Does he look to stay away from friends for you? Initially, it probably sounds really wonderful about him. After all who does not like a man who prioritizes his date over his friends. But if he is the type who cancels every single plan with his friend only for you, that’s an alarm that the man is Mr. Needy. Come to think of it, he is about to create a relationship with you where he has convinced you he is fine with lying all day on that couch with you rather than being with his friends when he is supposed to do so (always, that is). And soon, he will ask you to do the same.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help.  Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option.  Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.