Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

The discovery of infidelity often triggers a profound emotional upheaval. Betrayal can elicit a range of intense feelings, including anger, sadness, confusion, and even self-doubt. The betrayed partner may find themselves grappling with a rollercoaster of emotions that challenge their sense of self-worth and the very fabric of the relationship. It’s during these tumultuous times that one must approach the path to healing with utmost care and a commitment to preserving self-respect.

What are the things you should never do after being cheated on?

Leading marriage counselor and relationship expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests the things you should never do after being cheated on:

Don’t Jump to Conclusions: Discovering infidelity is emotionally charged, and the immediate reaction might be anger, sadness, or a combination of both. However, resist the urge to make impulsive decisions or accusations. Take the time to gather your thoughts, assess the situation, and communicate openly with your partner.

Avoid Retaliatory Cheating: Seeking revenge by engaging in retaliatory infidelity may seem like a way to level the playing field, but it only perpetuates a cycle of hurt and destruction. Instead, focus on understanding the root causes of the infidelity and deciding whether the relationship can be rebuilt.

Don’t Bottle Up Your Emotions: Suppressing emotions can lead to long-term issues such as resentment and anxiety. Allow yourself to feel the pain, betrayal, and sadness. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a safe space for you to express your emotions.

Avoid Public Humiliation: Refrain from publicly shaming your partner on social media or within your social circle. While it’s natural to seek support, airing your grievances in a public forum can have long-lasting consequences and make the healing process more challenging.

Don’t Play the Blame Game: Although infidelity is a breach of trust, it’s essential to recognize that relationships are complex, and blaming one party entirely may oversimplify the situation. Engage in open communication to understand the factors that contributed to the infidelity without assigning sole responsibility.

Avoid Rushing into Decisions: The aftermath of infidelity is not the ideal time to make major life decisions, such as ending the relationship or filing for divorce. Give yourself the necessary time to process emotions and make decisions with a clear and rational mindset.

Don’t Ignore Self-Care: Neglecting self-care during this challenging time can lead to physical and mental health issues. Prioritize your well-being by maintaining a healthy lifestyle, seeking professional help if needed, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

Avoid Excessive Monitoring: While rebuilding trust is essential, constantly monitoring your partner’s every move can hinder the healing process. Striking a balance between transparency and autonomy is crucial for rebuilding trust in a relationship.

Don’t Rush into a New Relationship: Rebound relationships may offer temporary distraction but rarely provide a solid foundation for emotional healing. Take the time to focus on personal growth and healing before entering into a new relationship.

Avoid Making Permanent Decisions in a Temporary State: Infidelity creates a tumultuous emotional state, and making permanent decisions during such turmoil may lead to regrets later on. Give yourself the time and space needed to make decisions that align with your long-term goals and values.

The aftermath of infidelity is undoubtedly challenging, but navigating it with a level head, self-respect, and a commitment to personal growth can lead to healing and, in some cases, the rebuilding of trust in the relationship. Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, and seeking professional guidance can be a valuable resource in the process of recovery.

Are you tired of feeling neglected or undervalued in your relationship? Do you think he takes you for granted and doesn’t care about your emotions? It’s a situation many individuals face, where the struggle to be recognized and appreciated becomes a constant battle. If you’re nodding in agreement, it’s time to take a step back and reflect on how you can make your partner realize your true value in the relationship. Here are some empowering strategies to shift the dynamics and ensure that your worth is not only acknowledged but celebrated.

What are the ways to make him realize your worth?

Let us learn the 6 effective ways of making your partner realize your true worth from the leading couples therapist and relationship counsellor in India, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

1. Love Yourself

Before expecting recognition from others, acknowledge your value. Understand your worth, and let that radiance be your language of love. Don’t let him mistreat or disrespect you. Work on your self-esteem. Let go of all negative feelings and embrace positivity in your approach. Focus on things you love to do and nurture your relationship with yourself. Take good care of yourself. Believe in yourself. Let him see you in a different light.

2. You Don’t Have to Agree to Everything He says

Learn to say NO. If you keep agreeing to each and everything, he will take you for granted. For instance, if he asks you to make a cup of coffee for him while you’re busy finishing a presentation for your office meeting, tell him clearly, “I’m occupied now; could you handle it this time and mine too?”

These well-timed refusals convey your ability to stand firm. Embrace the power of “no” to make him appreciate your individuality, showcasing strength and prompting newfound respect. It’s about asserting yourself gracefully to ensure he values your importance.

3. Don’t Be Available Round-the-Clock

Taking a step back and not being available 24/7 can make your partner appreciate your true worth. When you’re always there, it might seem ordinary. But when you create some space, it highlights your value and independence.

Imagine always having your favourite snack; it’s nice, but when it’s not readily available, you realize how much you truly enjoy and miss it. Similarly, by not being constantly available, you’re giving your partner the chance to realize and cherish your unique qualities and contributions to the relationship.

 4. Give Credit to Your Own Achievements

It’s important to share your successes with your partner, big or small. For instance, if you aced a project at work or learned a new skill, let them know. Celebrating these wins together helps your partner understand your worth and the unique qualities you bring to the relationship.

It’s like opening a window into your world, allowing them to appreciate the brilliance that makes you who you are. This openness develops a deeper connection and showcases the value you bring to the relationship.

5. No Room for Lame Excuses

Stop covering for him. If he messes up, there’s no excuse. Don’t hide behind reasons; if he hurts you, it’s not okay. Make it clear that his behaviour is unacceptable. For instance, if he forgot your birthday calmly express how it hurt you and that it’s not okay.

Avoid making excuses for him, so he understands the impact of his actions. Stand up for yourself; if you don’t, he won’t learn from his mistakes. Make it known that you won’t tolerate disrespectful behaviour, and he needs to face the consequences to grow.

6. Communication is a two-way process

Be independent by expressing your opinions openly, yet stay connected by understanding and respecting his feelings. For instance, if he shares a challenging day at work, responds with empathy and support rather than trying to fix everything.

By accepting him for who he is, he’ll feel valued and appreciated. This blend of independence and connection creates a strong foundation for mutual respect and understanding, making it clear that your worth is not just about your independence but also your ability to connect on a deeper level.

Closing Thoughts

In a nutshell, making your partner realize your true worth is a subtle art that requires a blend of self-assurance, effective communication, and a balanced approach to independence and connection.

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, relationships often find themselves caught in the mundane monotony. The initial spark that once ignited passion and excitement may dwindle over time, leaving couples feeling disconnected. However, fear not, for there’s a delightful remedy that not only rekindles the flame but also adds an extra dash of excitement – cooking together as a couple.

Let us find out more from leading couples therapist and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

How Couple Cooking Can Transform the Ordinary into the Extraordinary, Infusing Relationship with Renewed Vitality?

Shivani Sadhoo says, given below factors arise while a couple cooks together:

1. Enhanced Communication

Cooking together is more than just following a recipe; it’s the subtle nods, shared glances, and synchronized movements that deepen connections beyond words. In the kitchen, communication becomes an art, vital for a successful dinner service at home, much like in a restaurant.

From chopping instructions to timing, cooking requires seamless collaboration, and developing non-verbal understanding. Solving culinary challenges together, whether it’s a salty soup or an overly sweet dessert, hones communication and problem-solving skills, creating a recipe for navigating life hand in hand.

2. Making Memories

Cooking together forms cherished memories, weaving special moments into the fabric of life. From Mother’s Day brunch to a Diwali feast, life’s milestones are often intertwined with food. Research indicates that the aroma of dishes holds a unique power to evoke potent memories.

In the kitchen, creating flavours and smells with loved ones becomes a recipe for lasting positive associations, igniting special recollections with every shared culinary adventure.

3. All About Teamwork

Cooking together is more than just chopping vegetables and stirring pots. It’s a chance to ace teamwork. Keeping the kitchen clean or doing dishes together is teamwork too. Whether you’re chopping veggies or cleaning up, divide tasks fairly. Even if cooking isn’t your thing, being in the same space matters. As adults, cooking builds curiosity, creativity, and teamwork—essential for healthy relationships.

4.  A Great Stressbuster

Cooking together is like a therapy session for couples. From chopping vegetables to boiling an egg – it’s a shared meditation that lets you escape life’s chaos. Spending that time with your love not only reduces stress but also triggers those feel-good hormones.

Life’s challenges can pile up, affecting relationships, but couple cooking brings warmth and connection. So, unwind, bond, and create something delicious amid the craziness. It’s not just a meal; it’s a recipe for a happier relationship.

5. Develop Intimate Bonding

In a world dominated by screens and constant connectivity, couple cooking offers a rare opportunity to unplug and focus on each other. The kitchen transforms into a haven, drowning out distractions for an intimate rendezvous. It’s a deliberate break from tech, a reminder to savor each other’s company. Sharing the effort of a homemade meal brings a unique satisfaction.

Complimenting each other’s culinary skills? That’s the secret sauce for feel-good vibes! Make at-home cooking dates a regular ritual; it’s a delicious way to spice up your bond.

When couples venture into the kitchen together, they set sail on a journey that transcends the ordinary. Beyond the sizzle of pans and the aroma of shared meals, cooking becomes a catalyst for enhanced communication, cherished memories, seamless teamwork, stress relief, and intimate bonding.

In the midst of chopping, stirring, and tasting, relationships find a recipe for renewal, transforming mundane moments into extraordinary connections that endure the test of time.

Did you think that only unmarried couples embark on romantic dates? Think again. As relationships mature, passion may dwindle. Whether you’ve been wed for years or just tied the knot, it is essential for married couples to continue nurturing their romantic connection. From unconventional outings to cozy home evenings, you can make these moments special for each other.

What could be some of the romantic night ideas?

Marriage counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares innovative date night ideas to rejuvenate passion and keep the flame alive in long-term relationships.

1. Take a Simple Walk

Sometimes, amidst life’s complexities, a simple walk becomes a serene voyage for married couples. Engaging in unhurried strolls, hand in hand, under the moonlit sky fosters an intimate atmosphere. The unhurried pace allows for genuine conversations, rekindling the flame of connection and developing a renewed sense of shared companionship.

2. Plan A Romantic Movie Night

Sometimes, the simplest joys rekindle the flames of romance. Sharing a movie night at home, carefully curating a watchlist, and preparing snacks together not only offer comfort but also a chance to reminisce. Under the stars or in a cozy home cinema, this shared experience becomes a nostalgic journey, evoking emotions from the early days, building connections, and igniting the spark of love anew.

3. Art can create magic in your relationship

Engaging in artistic activities as a couple fosters a unique bond, rekindling romance through shared creativity. Whether attending a painting class or trying DIY projects at home, the collaborative process creates special memories.

Embracing imperfections, like sketching a partner in a funny costume, becomes a testament to the love invested. Art serves as a medium for connection, rekindling the spark and weaving a tapestry of shared experiences in marriage.

4. Add Melody to your relationship

Ever wondered how a simple Karaoke night could reignite the spark in your marriage? Singing together isn’t just about hitting the right notes; it’s a shared journey of laughter, vulnerability, and rediscovery. Embrace the imperfect melodies, and you’ll find that these harmonious moments foster a deeper connection, rekindling the romance that initially brought you two together.

5. Playing games

Did you know that playing games can spice up your marriage? Embracing your inner child through board games not only adds fun but also sparks joy and connection. It’s like a playful escape from reality, creating moments that rekindle the romance. So, why not ditch the mundane, pick a favorite game, and let the laughter and competition weave a new chapter of togetherness in your love story?

6. Let’s Cook Together

Whisking up a homemade feast together, from sizzling steaks to decadent desserts, turns your kitchen into a love-filled haven. As you chop, stir, and savor, the aroma of shared efforts creates a bond that goes beyond the dining table. Cooking as a couple not only ignites the stove but also sparks the flames of romance, reminding you both of the sweet symphony that first drew you close.

7. Read together

Sharing the joy of reading can reignite the spark in a marriage by creating intimate moments. As you both immerse yourselves in love sonnets or captivating stories, the shared experience builds a unique connection.

The act of reading together promotes intimacy, evoking emotions that revive the romantic essence. It’s a simple, yet profound, way to rediscover the enchantment that initially brought you together, making it a cherished date night activity.

From simple walks encouraging genuine conversations to artistic activities, movie nights, music, games, cooking, and reading together—each suggestion provides a unique avenue for couples to rekindle the flame, strengthening the bond of love.