If not everything but physical intimacy is an important part of marriage for a woman. These days, though, plenty of married women see sex as a discounted duty.
First of all, let’s address why not having sex in a marriage is a concern.
Marriage is more than a contract it’s a pledge. This means it’s not only a legally binding act, but it is also a complete personal act: emotional, mental, spiritual, physical and sexual. Therefore, all these components go into the relationship. Physical intimacy is an integral component. A marriage without sex is incomplete and robs both partners of all nature has to offer.
Intimacy between a husband and wife is special. It’s that one needs that only one other person gets to meet. And it is bought by a ring and a vow. This means that when a partner refuses sex they are giving an ultimate no as there should not be other alternatives available. Each intimate sexual experience where both people give themselves and to their spouse renews and refreshes that connection. The aim here is addressing when wives turn away from sex within a marriage This is a painful way of rejection in a society which judges women’s worth based on their appearance and shame for men who are not as sexually driven as some other men.
In this article, one of India’s best Marriage Counselor, Relationship Expert, and Founder of Saarthi Counselling Services, Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about reasons many married women lose interest in physical intimacy.
It Seems Optional
Women tend to be overwhelmingly busy in today’s society. Many of you work, manage finances, raise children, do exercise, shopping, cleaning, care for extended family, travel for work. Thus, become exhausted by day’s end that there’s little left of you– emotionally, mentally, physically or sexually. And husbands are often left to themselves. There are just so many demands that sex, since it looks optional, often slips down the ladder of priorities. Several wives don’t see sex as vital to a marriage.
Several young wives complain that they are completely sexed out. They had so much sex in their teens and twenties that they don’t want or need it now. And in the context of sex as just a physical act, that can make sense. But in marriage, it is not designed to be merely physical. If you’re not in a committed relationship, and if you use protection, you can sleep with anyone, whenever. For this to be real, people learn to separate the emotional and spiritual side of their physical needs, leaving just the physical. This makes a dilemma for the marriages that often takes place years later. Healthy sex in a marriage asks physical, sexual and emotional vulnerability. Once a person turns off the emotions of getting physical, it’s difficult to turn it back on.
Many women crave tenderness, help and time with their partner, and don’t get it. So when the husband turns up for the first time at day’s end wanting sex, the wife remembers all that he has not done for her of late.
Most people are self-centric. If you don’t want to, you won’t. If you don’t feel like it, then you don’t. In a successful marriage, there’s no space for selfishness. Women who experience their partner being selfish looks to become self-protective. And when one partner demands and does not give, it can become manipulative and abusive. Self-protective partners withdraw and withhold. Generally, it begins with emotional detachment, then at the intimacy level. Selfishness belittles, separates and ultimately divides a relationship. Relationships collapse when one or both of the partner is selfish.
Many women do not always feel pretty, and that can get in the way of being getting physically intimate. A woman’s body along with her mind and emotions goes through a cycle of changes in a lifetime. Pregnancy, loss, stress, hormones can all change skin and weight. Women who see themselves as only how they appear mostly have difficulty offering their bodies sexually to their husbands. Also, there is a common myth in our culture that sex after a specific age is seen as not as fulfilling, especially as women deal with changes to their bodies and sexual response cycle following menopause.
Why Physical Intimacy In Marriage Is Worth It
It is designed for marriage, and marriage is designed to get physical love. It is something Nature created to put life and pleasure into a marriage. In a safe, developing relationship it’s not an obligation to perform, but a purposeful, intentional desire to grow closer to each other.