Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Mental health consists of our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It impacts how we think, feel, and act. It also helps identify how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.

Mental health is a lot more than a diagnosis. And while taking care of your mental health might mean seeking professional support and treatment, it also means taking steps to better your emotional health on your own.

Making these alterations will pay off in all aspects of your life. It can boost your mood, build resilience, and add to your overall enjoyment and satisfaction with life. Eminent psychologist, marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo share 6 ways to improve your mental health.

1.  Always Tell Yourself Something Positive

Some research shows that how you think about yourself can have a huge effect on how you feel. When we understand ourselves and our life negatively, we can end up seeing experiences in a way that confirms that belief. Instead, practice using words that promote feelings of self-worth and personal power.

For instance, instead of saying, I am a loser. I won’t get the job because I struggled in the interview, try saying, I didn’t do as well in the interview as I could have, but it doesn’t mean I’m not going to get the job.

2.  Focus on One Thing at A Given Time

Being aware of the current moment lets you let go of negative or difficult emotions from past experiences that put us down. Begin by bringing awareness to routine activities, such as taking a bath, eating lunch, or exercising. Paying attention to the physical sensations, sounds, smells, or tastes of these experiences aids your focus. When your mind wavers, just bring it back to what you currently do.

3.  Note down Something You Are Grateful For

Being grateful has been clearly linked with improved well-being and mental health, as well as happiness. The best-researched method to increase feelings of gratitude is to keep a gratitude diary or write a daily gratitude list. Usually, contemplating gratitude is also productive, but you need to get daily practice to experience long-term benefit. Find something to be grateful for, let it fill your heart, and bask in that feeling.

4.   Eat a Good Meal

The stuff you eat nourishes your whole body, including your mind and heart. Carbohydrates (in moderate amounts) increase serotonin, a chemical that has been shown to have a calming effect on your mood. Protein-rich foods increase norepinephrine, dopamine, and tyrosine, which help keep you alert.

And vegetables and fruits are loaded with nutrients that feed every cell of your body, including those that impact mood-regulating brain chemicals. Include foods with Omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids (found in fish, nuts, and flaxseed.) Research shows that these nutrients can improve mood and restore structural integrity to the brain cells necessary for cognitive function.

5.  Open Up To Someone

Knowing you are valued by others is essential for helping you think more positively. Additionally, being more trusting can increase your emotional well-being because as you get better at finding the positive aspects in others, you become better at recognizing your own.

6.  Do Something for Someone Else

Being helpful to others has a beneficial effect on how you feel about yourself. Being helpful and kind and valuable in what you do is a great way to build self-esteem. The meaning you find in helping others will nourish and expand your life.

Prior to getting your driving license 30 to 90 days time is required to learn the vehicle’s controls, traffic rules and to pass the driving examinations.

So if you are a driver or have a car in your family, you must be aware of the efforts one has to put to drive. Have you ever thought that just as you needed to prepare for your driving license, it would be helpful if you prepared for your marriage as well?

We are living in a time that perhaps sets the maximum challenges in family and professional life than ever. There is extreme lifestyle pressure on youngsters and that is why in today’s time it is important that couples should go for pre-marital counseling before their big day.

In this article Delhi’s eminent relationship expert and marriage counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 points on the benefits of premarital counseling.

1.     Pre-marital counseling helps develop Communication Skills

When couples go to premarital counselling, they talk together to a professional relationship counsellor who is trained to encourage them to talk to each other openly and helps them better understand each other. Couples who go through this type of counselling surely build better communication skills because they have a neutral party there to help them understand each other.

Undoubtedly this is one of the biggest benefits of premarital counselling. Additionally, by learning how to better communicate individual needs and desires, couples also acquire how to reach an agreement mutually. They gain compassion and communication skills that will help them through tough times.

2.      It Helps Couples Plan the Future

Many premarital counselors do more than only help couples talk through their current issues. They also help them plan meticulously for the future. A premarital counselor can help couples set financial or family planning goals, and can aid them to find ways to accomplish those goals.

Premarital counseling is the perfect place for couples to talk about the expectations that they have from married life and what they want personally in the future too. Premarital counselors help their clients focus on healthy and realistic goals and relationship changes.

3.   It Gives an Opportunity to Address Issues

Premarital counseling also presents a great opportunity for couples to challenge issues that could possibly lead to divorce before they become serious. By talking with a counselor, couples may be able to settle money matters or talk about their roles and goals around parenting.

Addressing issues before marriage is the best way to ensure a solid foundation for the future and to avoid serious conflicts after the big day. Of course, it’s important for couples to be honest when they attend premarital counseling. That’s the only way to realize the benefits of this time-honored tradition.

4.  You will enter into marriage with a framework for building a healthy relationship.

Another reason to get premarital counselling is so that you would not be walk blindly in your marriage. Getting premarital counseling may give you a feeling of stability, safety, direction, and an idea of where you are going and what you are doing. It will take some of the potential fear out of the decision, and give you more hope, reason, and guidance. It will provide a framework for building a healthy relationship, and equip you with the tools and skills necessary to successfully navigate discord and to have meaningful conversations.

For instance, Gottman provides antidotes to criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and obstacles to be used in their place. Rather than being critical, we should have a softened, gentle approach to bringing up complaints. Instead of being arrogant about an offence and how our partner failed us, it is much more productive to be descriptive about how we are feeling and thinking about the offence, how we are experiencing it. So, rather than only knowing what we shouldn’t do, and then being unsure of how to react, we now can have a clear roadmap of what we should do without all the guesswork. We will have a plan.

5.  It Allows Couples to Discover New Things About Themselves 

Marriage Counselors ask a lot of questions when they’re working with engaged couples. Listening carefully to your partner’s answers is a great way to learn more about that individual. Yes, many couples perceive that no one knows their partners better than they do.

However, premarital counselling can help bring out important information that they might have been reluctant to share. This provides great growth opportunities while helping couples learn more about each other. It’s also a safe space for individuals to share things that they are anxious or upset about with their partners. It can be particularly helpful if one individual in the couple has been in a failed relationship before.

Tips by Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Do you know feeling good about yourself can make you more attractive to others?  The more you can love yourself, the more your relationships can become easier and spontaneous. A person who can love
himself/herself and feel confident is a person with deep inner stability, and one who can adapt comfortably to the inevitable ups and downs that come with various relationships.

Today, renowned marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 ways to make you more attractive in any relationship.

1.  Choose To Be Happy:

When you are happy, others sense it and feel relaxed in your presence. One way to actively be happy is to develop awareness for your internal critic that voice in your head that criticizes and judges. Surrendering yourself into your internal critic is like vaulting off a cliff into a no-zone.

This is where your internal critic will lead you if you let it. It’s your job to recognize when your critic turns on you and to tell it “Stop!”  Distract yourself with exercise, reading, listening to music, helping others, or doing creative things. Do whatever you can, but dispose of the critic as soon as you hear its voice. Time and again, choose happiness.

2.  Stop Taking Yourself Too Seriously:

You don’t need to be perfect to have stable relationships and love in your life. It’s being imperfect that puts people feel relaxed. There is a type of intimacy that takes hold, a feeling that you can be open with this person because they are being open with you. Yes, it’s important to connect with supportive and non-toxic people.

Mainly, speaking, most of the time, with most people, the negative things others communicate or imply about you are not insults to your character. Don’t give any attention to perceived slights let the small stuff slide off your back. When you’re faced with valid or invalid criticism, try if you can laugh at yourself or make a joke. In the end, you are not defined by others, no matter what they say or do.

3.   Look After Yourself:

People who look after themselves are more attractive because they exude self-discipline. Being in complete control of yourself means others don’t think you as a burden to be taken care. Eating nutritiously, exercising daily, and attending to your emotional psyche should be a part of your daily routine.

4. Do The Correct Thing:

Whenever you struggle with self-confidence, you are likely seeking the approval or suggestion of others. You’re stealthily on the lookout for praise, and a sense that you belong and are doing the correct thing. When you do this, you’re not worrying about the bigger picture because you’re too focused on yourself. A busy search for validation from others won’t certainly bring it; in fact, your insecurity may force people away from you. Instead, do the correct thing for yourself, for others, and for society by and large. Be kind to the people in your life and to those who have less listen, support, and give them your attention. See if this brings you affirmation.

5.   Live For Yourself:

A person who has a sense of purpose and meaning are irresistible because they exude strength. Concentrating on how others may or may not be judging you wastes so much time that could be utilized on getting what you expect out of life. Ask yourself questions, what gives me happiness? What would I like to achieve in this life? What provides me a feeling of being at peace? And then shut the voice in your mind that questions your choices, and start living for yourself.

About Shivani Misri Sadhoo: Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the best marriage counselors in Delhi NCR. She has served over thousands plus happy & satisfied individuals and couples in India and abroad. She is India’s best expert on Marriage and relationship issues and has frequently been featured in leading newspapers, magazines and TV channels. 

Counsellor Shivani is an experienced and certified counselling psychologist with a specialization in the area of Personal Crisis interventions like coping with Relationship Issues, Marital Counselling, Separation and divorce, Child and Adolescent issues, Depression, Stress, Loss & Grief. Counsellor Shivani is currently working with India‘s top hospital groups like Fortis Hospital, IBS (Indian Brain & Spine) Hospital and with Express Clinics.