Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Love is a magical and exhilarating emotion, weaving dreams of togetherness and happiness. However, marriage isn’t always the immediate destination of this beautiful journey. Many couples find themselves head over heels in love but realize they aren’t quite ready to take the plunge.

It could be fear, insecurities, or simply a lack of readiness, urging us to be vigilant for signs indicating our partner might not be emotionally prepared for a genuine relationship. Eminent relationship expert and couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares her tips in this article.

What are the signs to look out for to check if a person is emotionally ready for a real relationship?

Some of the signs that are explained by Shivani regarding a partner is not emotionally ready for a relationship are:

They Avoid Honest Communication

An essential cornerstone of a healthy relationship lies in open and honest communication. If your partner habitually engages in stonewalling, evades discussing their emotions, sidesteps challenging conversations, or emotionally withdraws during intense moments, it may indicate an unreadiness for a genuine, committed relationship. Strong relationships are nurtured through a consistent and open dialogue, where both partners feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions.

When They’re Practically Off The Grid

When an individual displays a penchant for distancing themselves physically and emotionally, they may be classified as emotionally unavailable. ‘Ghosting’ i.e. sudden disappearances followed by unpredictable reappearances, reflects this emotional disengagement. ‘Benching’ or ‘Breadcrumbing’ occurs when a partner keeps you on the outskirts of their life, rarely initiating contact.

‘Zombie-ing’ is when the emotionally unavailable individual reappears after a silence, leaving you emotionally perplexed and disconnected, without an explanation or apology. These actions signify a reluctance to engage in genuine, meaningful communication.

Avoids Future Planning

Emotional readiness involves envisioning a shared future and making plans together. If your partner consistently avoids discussing or making plans for the future, whether it’s about living arrangements, careers, or family, they may not be emotionally prepared to invest in a long-term relationship.

Being Selfish

A real relationship involves mutual support, care, and consideration. If your partner consistently prioritizes their needs, goals, and desires above yours without considering your feelings, it suggests they may not be emotionally prepared to share their life and emotional space with someone else.

Your Time is Not So Important

If your partner frequently cancels plans and doesn’t respect your time, it’s a red flag. Quality time together is vital for a relationship, and constant cancellations show a lack of emotional investment. If they cancel often and seem disinterested when you do meet, they might not be ready for a real relationship.

Afraid of Being Too Close?

Emotional intimacy is at the core of a genuine relationship. If your partner is uncomfortable with physical affection, avoids cuddling, or resists spending quality time together, they may be struggling with their own fear of intimacy, which can be a significant roadblock to a real, deep connection.

Humor And Sarcasm

Do you notice how some people respond with humor and sarcasm instead of showing true emotions? Instead of facing feelings of anger or disappointment, emotionally unavailable individuals make light of serious situations. For instance, if a friend shares a personal struggle, they might make a joke to deflect from discussing their true feelings and vulnerability disconnecting emotionally from you in the process.

What did we learn today?

Understanding emotional unreadiness in a partner is crucial for building a genuine, committed relationship. Signs such as avoiding honest communication, emotional distancing, selfishness, and a reluctance to plan for the future can indicate a lack of readiness for deep emotional connection. Being vigilant about these signs can help individuals make informed decisions about their relationships.

Healthy and strong relationships depend on balance, honesty, and communication to work. And it is not always easy. There are bumps and detours we must navigate, but we have to do it together.

When a person starts to distance oneself from their partner, despite how much care and love the other person puts into the relationship, it simply means that they are no longer interested.

Maybe you are thinking.  They will come back, or it’s just a phase they’re going through. You cannot take responsibility for someone else’s conduct, and you cannot put your life on hold while they weigh the options.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about signs your partner is not interested in you.

They Prioritize Others But Treat You As An Option

Being in a relationship involves spending time with one another, and it should not feel like you have to force someone to do it. If your partner is constantly too busy or has other things to look after then they are not prioritizing you in their life. They are treating you as an option and this is certainly a bad sign.

They Are Self Centric And Only Seem Interested When They Want Something From You

When a partner who is no more interested will try to be absent for most of the relationship, but you will see them pop up more frequently when they need something from you. Maybe they want a ride to work this week, or they are over-scheduled and need you to cover for them. Whatever it may, you would be able to spot their manipulative ways from a distance. How is that? Well, their fake affection and phony smile will give them away every time.

Communication Breaks Down And They Do Not Try To Resolve It

Most people in a healthy relationship would not enjoy it if they are not able to communicate with their partner. But, those who are not interested in sticking around any longer do not seem to mind as much. If your partners stop calling, texting, asking how your day was spent, or even trying to make a conversation, they are possibly ready to move on.

If They Decide To Talk, It Is Always About Themselves

Nothing really interests a person who is ready to end a relationship, except themselves. They are their main topic of choice because just be honest, it is not like they are spending any second thinking about you.

When Something Goes Wrong, You Are The One Who Is To Be Blamed

Even if everything is fine, you will still, get blamed. It is an abusive tactic used by your partner to control and manipulate you, and if it is happening, just leave.

They Say Derogatory and Hurtful Things Intentionally

If your partner is disinterested in continuing a relationship but they have been too cowardly to admit it, they will begin to disrespect you. Whether you two are alone in the privacy of your house, or with friends in public, they will say things that are aimed to hurt you. Do not let them get to you- their ugliness is their concern, not yours.

ReplyForward

We all love our parents. It is very good quality. In fact, if we are incapable of loving our parents then we are not supposed to be called human.

Loving one’s mother is a divine characteristic. But treating others in a bad manner is an inhuman quality. If your husband loves his mother, then you do not need to find any fault with it. But during this process, if he insults you or makes things uncomfortable for you to live with him, then it is up to you about how you resolve it.

If you remain silent, a lifetime of suffering could afflict. If you deal with it hurriedly, chances are you could be misunderstood by your husband. So find a better way of resolving the issue.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage Counselor and Relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about signs your husband is a mama’s boy.

He Cannot Take Any Decision Without Mom’s Help

As an independent woman, you have a mind and thinking of your own. So, you have decision-making abilities but you are surprised to see your husband consulting his mom for every minor or major decision. That bothers you a bit. This is one of the initials signs that your husband is a mama’s boy.

He Never Supports You When His Mother Shouts At You

He thinks his mother is always correct. So, when his mom shouts at you for any reason, he prefers to remain a silent spectator.

He Asks You To Be Like His Mother

This appears funny to you. But he asks you to dress up, cook and behave like his mom, and worship his mom. His mom is a role model to him and he expects an ideal woman has to be like her.

Your Husband Spends More Time Talking To His Mom

When your husband’s mom is out of town for a few days, he spends most of his time talking to her over the phone. And also, sometimes complains to her over the phone that you do not cook like her.

He Seeks Her Permission Even To plan A Family 

That looks absurd but it is true that he seeks his mom’s approval before planning to expand his family.

He Shares All Your Secrets To His Mom

You trust your husband completely and tell him everything about your life and past. And, he discloses them to his mom. She begins to suspect you and starts ill-treating you.

When You Are On A Holiday

When you are on a holiday, you tend to spend some time with your husband in a lonely spot and slowly try to kindle his passion. He suddenly takes out his phone, calls his mom and says “Mama, I miss you! You could have come with us” and weeps for a moment.

P.S. Well, there is nothing wrong if your husband loves his mom. Let him love his mom. But if his love bothers you, then you can voice out your opinion and try to get a solution.