Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

When relationships start feeling rocky, a lot of people begin searching for professional help. That’s usually when terms like couples therapy and marriage counselling start popping up. At first glance, they seem like the same thing, right? After all, both involve two people sitting down with a professional to talk through their relationship issues.

But here’s the thing—while the two are definitely similar, they’re not quite the same. And the confusion is completely understandable. Even therapists sometimes use the terms interchangeably. But suppose you’re thinking about seeking help. In that case, it’s worth knowing what sets them apart—because the right kind of support can make all the difference, says one of India’s top Gottman-certified couples therapists, Shivani Misri Sadhoo. First, let us clear up the fundamentals.

What is Marriage Counselling?

Marriage counselling is typically designed for married couples or partners in long-term committed relationships, who are dealing with specific, current problems. This could be anything from frequent arguments and lack of communication to disagreements about parenting, finances, or even emotional distance. The idea here is to help couples navigate through rough patches and find better ways to connect.

Think of it like a relationship first-aid. It’s often short-term and focused on resolving a particular issue. A marriage counsellor usually helps both partners improve communication, understand each other better, and rebuild trust. The overall goal is to restore balance and strengthen the relationship so that it can move forward in a healthier way.

What is Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy, on the other hand, goes much deeper. It’s not just about solving a problem—it’s about understanding why that problem exists in the first place. This kind of therapy explores the emotional and psychological patterns that are playing out in the relationship. Sometimes that means revisiting past experiences, personal traumas, or long-standing habits that keep showing up in conflicts.

Couples therapy is usually a longer process and tends to be more intensive. It’s ideal for couples dealing with chronic conflict, emotional disconnection, or those who feel stuck and unsure about the future of their relationship. A couples therapist helps partners dig into their emotional world and figure out not just what’s going wrong—but why.

What is the difference between couples therapy and marriage counselling?

The biggest difference between marriage counselling and couples therapy lies in their focus. Marriage counselling is more about present-day problems and practical solutions—it helps couples communicate better, handle conflict, and find common ground. Couples therapy, meanwhile, focuses on the emotional and psychological layers of the relationship. It aims to uncover deep-rooted patterns that often go unnoticed but continue to affect the way partners relate to each other.

In terms of duration, marriage counselling is usually short-term and goal-oriented, perfect for couples looking to fix a specific issue. Couples therapy is more of a long-term process that requires patience and self-reflection.

The approach is different too. Marriage counselling is often solution-focused and includes tools or techniques to improve communication. Couples therapy leans more toward emotional healing, helping both individuals understand their own feelings and how those feelings shape the relationship dynamic.

Marriage counselling is best suited for couples who are committed and facing challenges they want to overcome together. Couples therapy is ideal for those in more serious distress, where the issues run deeper, and the emotional connection needs rebuilding.

In the End, It is About What You Need

Both marriage counselling and couples therapy can be incredibly helpful, but they serve different purposes. If your relationship is facing a specific hurdle and you’re both ready to work through it, marriage counselling might be the way to go. But if things feel heavier, more emotionally complex, or you’re struggling to even communicate, couples therapy might offer the deeper support you need.

No matter which path you choose, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not failure. Relationships aren’t always easy, but the right kind of support can bring clarity, healing, and a whole new way of understanding each other.

You have been savouring those romantic coffee dates, indulging in long drives, and even sneaking in casual leaves from work just to create special moments with your beloved boyfriend or girlfriend, especially on their birthday. However, when the topic of marriage crosses your mind, there’s a distinct sense that your significant other isn’t quite ready for such a significant commitment or may not be inclined to take that step with you.

Are you curious to find out these tell-tale signs that indicate your significant other might not be ready for the monumental commitment of marriage?

Eminent relationship expert and marriage counselor in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few signs in this article.

Avoiding Future Plans

If your partner constantly sidesteps discussions about the future, especially on topics like settling down or long-term plans, it could indicate a lack of commitment. A genuine desire for a lifelong connection involves open conversations. If your enthusiasm for living together or dream wedding plans is met with lukewarm responses and swift subject changes, it may signal a deeper reluctance to envision a shared future.

Haven’t Met their Family

Is your partner keeping their family a mystery? A red flag in serious relationships is avoiding family introductions. A future spouse willingly integrates into each other’s families. If your significant other hesitates or delays this step, it signals uncertainty about a lifelong commitment. Avoiding family meetings suggests a lack of pride in your connection. Even if an introduction happens, reluctance may hint at future commitment issues.

Lack of Emotional Connection

In a thriving relationship, trust, loyalty, understanding, love, care, and shared emotions are crucial. If your partner refrains from opening up emotionally, it signals a reluctance to include you in their inner world, hinting at a lack of commitment. True connection involves vulnerability and closeness. When a significant other detached emotionally, it suggests a hesitancy to envision a lasting future together. Building emotional walls may signify a reluctance to see you as a lifelong partner.

Always Making Lame Excuses

Your significant other consistently postpones the idea of marriage, citing various reasons like recent conflicts with their mother or work-related stress. Each time, they claim it’s not the “right time.” Whether it’s financial stability or career achievements, the excuses keep piling up.

If someone truly desires marriage, obstacles wouldn’t hinder their commitment. Continuous justifications reveal a reluctance to take that step. Pay attention to actions, as words alone may not paint an accurate picture of their intentions.

Your Partner Isn’t Serious About the Relationship

In a relationship, actions speak louder than words. Take, for instance, when your partner hesitates to hold hands in public or introduces you with only your name, avoiding any mention of your connection. These subtle gestures may signify a reluctance to commit.

If, after months together, your significant other downplays the seriousness of your relationship, it could be a clear indication that marriage isn’t on their horizon. Such reluctance to embrace the connection publicly may reveal their hesitations about a long-term commitment.

 The Discussion does not go Beyond the Proposal

After a joyous proposal, your partner might evade wedding discussions, showing reluctance to set dates or arrange venues, hinting at a hesitancy to commit. A devoted partner eagerly plans a wedding, involving loved ones, but if your significant other hesitates to confirm a date, reconsiderations about the marriage may be surfacing. Pay attention to the unspoken signals, as actions often speak louder than words in matters of the heart.

Now that you know the subtle signs of a partner’s reluctance to commit, it’s crucial to recognize the importance of open communication, emotional connection, and shared future plans in a lasting relationship. Paying attention to actions over words is key, as these indicators can help you navigate potential commitment issues and make informed decisions about your future together.

Are you tired of feeling neglected or undervalued in your relationship? Do you think he takes you for granted and doesn’t care about your emotions? It’s a situation many individuals face, where the struggle to be recognized and appreciated becomes a constant battle. If you’re nodding in agreement, it’s time to take a step back and reflect on how you can make your partner realize your true value in the relationship. Here are some empowering strategies to shift the dynamics and ensure that your worth is not only acknowledged but celebrated.

What are the ways to make him realize your worth?

Let us learn the 6 effective ways of making your partner realize your true worth from the leading couples therapist and relationship counsellor in India, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

1. Love Yourself

Before expecting recognition from others, acknowledge your value. Understand your worth, and let that radiance be your language of love. Don’t let him mistreat or disrespect you. Work on your self-esteem. Let go of all negative feelings and embrace positivity in your approach. Focus on things you love to do and nurture your relationship with yourself. Take good care of yourself. Believe in yourself. Let him see you in a different light.

2. You Don’t Have to Agree to Everything He says

Learn to say NO. If you keep agreeing to each and everything, he will take you for granted. For instance, if he asks you to make a cup of coffee for him while you’re busy finishing a presentation for your office meeting, tell him clearly, “I’m occupied now; could you handle it this time and mine too?”

These well-timed refusals convey your ability to stand firm. Embrace the power of “no” to make him appreciate your individuality, showcasing strength and prompting newfound respect. It’s about asserting yourself gracefully to ensure he values your importance.

3. Don’t Be Available Round-the-Clock

Taking a step back and not being available 24/7 can make your partner appreciate your true worth. When you’re always there, it might seem ordinary. But when you create some space, it highlights your value and independence.

Imagine always having your favourite snack; it’s nice, but when it’s not readily available, you realize how much you truly enjoy and miss it. Similarly, by not being constantly available, you’re giving your partner the chance to realize and cherish your unique qualities and contributions to the relationship.

 4. Give Credit to Your Own Achievements

It’s important to share your successes with your partner, big or small. For instance, if you aced a project at work or learned a new skill, let them know. Celebrating these wins together helps your partner understand your worth and the unique qualities you bring to the relationship.

It’s like opening a window into your world, allowing them to appreciate the brilliance that makes you who you are. This openness develops a deeper connection and showcases the value you bring to the relationship.

5. No Room for Lame Excuses

Stop covering for him. If he messes up, there’s no excuse. Don’t hide behind reasons; if he hurts you, it’s not okay. Make it clear that his behaviour is unacceptable. For instance, if he forgot your birthday calmly express how it hurt you and that it’s not okay.

Avoid making excuses for him, so he understands the impact of his actions. Stand up for yourself; if you don’t, he won’t learn from his mistakes. Make it known that you won’t tolerate disrespectful behaviour, and he needs to face the consequences to grow.

6. Communication is a two-way process

Be independent by expressing your opinions openly, yet stay connected by understanding and respecting his feelings. For instance, if he shares a challenging day at work, responds with empathy and support rather than trying to fix everything.

By accepting him for who he is, he’ll feel valued and appreciated. This blend of independence and connection creates a strong foundation for mutual respect and understanding, making it clear that your worth is not just about your independence but also your ability to connect on a deeper level.

Closing Thoughts

In a nutshell, making your partner realize your true worth is a subtle art that requires a blend of self-assurance, effective communication, and a balanced approach to independence and connection.