Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

For years, relationships were measured by an unattainable ideal of perfection. Social media, movies, and glossy magazines painted pictures of flawless couples—always smiling, never fighting, and seemingly living a fairy-tale life. This pursuit of perfection has often left people feeling inadequate, disconnected, or pressured to perform rather than simply be themselves. But things are changing.

In today’s world, authenticity is fast becoming more attractive than perfection. People are craving sincerity, vulnerability, and genuine connection over carefully curated images. Love that feels real is winning over love that merely looks perfect, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is a top couples therapist and one of the best marriage counsellors in Delhi and India.

Perfection Is Unrelatable

Nobody is perfect. We all carry quirks, insecurities, and struggles. When someone tries too hard to appear flawless, it can make them seem unapproachable or even inauthentic. Real life is messy, and people resonate more with imperfection because it mirrors their own reality. Showing flaws signals that you are human, just like everyone else, and makes space for true understanding.

Authenticity Builds Trust

Acting perfect often comes across as performative, as though there is something to hide. Authenticity, on the other hand, builds trust. When you are honest about mistakes or imperfections, it reassures your partner that you are genuine, which makes them feel safe and comfortable. Trust becomes the foundation on which lasting relationships are built.

Flaws Make You Unique

Conforming to society’s version of “perfect” often strips away individuality. Your imperfections are what make you memorable and different. A quirky laugh, a love for something unusual, or even awkward moments—these are the qualities that stand out and make someone fall in love with the real you. Rather than erasing flaws, embracing them adds depth and charm to your personality.

Vulnerability Invites Connection

True intimacy doesn’t come from polished perfection; it comes from vulnerability. When you are willing to admit your fears, struggles, or insecurities, you invite others to open up too. This creates a safe space for empathy and deeper connection. Vulnerability may feel uncomfortable at first, but it is often the bridge to emotional closeness.

The Illusion of Perfection Is Exhausting

Maintaining a façade of perfection demands constant energy, and it quickly becomes draining. The effort to always appear flawless leads to stress and even burnout. Authenticity, by contrast, is freeing. People are drawn to those who are comfortable in their own skin because it feels natural and effortless. Letting go of the pressure to be perfect not only brings relief but also makes relationships more sustainable.

Imperfection Fuels Growth

If perfection were possible, there would be no room for growth or self-improvement. Acknowledging flaws shows humility and self-awareness, both of which are highly attractive traits. When couples accept imperfection, they approach mistakes as opportunities to learn and evolve together rather than as failures to be hidden. Growth then becomes a shared journey, adding strength to the bond.

Sincerity Is Magnetic

Sincerity is one of the most attractive qualities a person can possess. People can sense when someone is being real and when they are performing. Acting perfectly often feels rehearsed, while sincerity is refreshing. It builds respect and warmth, allowing relationships to develop in a genuine way. This magnetism of sincerity draws people closer because it feels authentic and reliable.

Flaws Create Stories Worth Sharing

Some of the most memorable and meaningful stories come from imperfections, missteps, or unexpected turns. When people hide their flaws, they also hide these rich experiences. Imperfections bring humor, relatability, and depth to relationships. The shared laughter over awkward moments or lessons learned from failures often become the cherished stories couples carry for years.

Why Authenticity Wins in Relationships?

According to leading relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, when both partners embrace authenticity, relationships become stronger and more resilient. Trust grows because there is nothing to hide. Emotional intimacy deepens because both feel accepted as they are. Resilience develops because imperfections are not feared but faced together. Ultimately, authenticity creates the freedom to be yourself without judgment, to love without conditions, and to grow without pretending.

Conclusion: Imperfection Is Your Superpower

Perfection may appear appealing at first glance, but it is isolating and unsustainable. Authenticity nurtures trust, connection, and joy. Your quirks, flaws, and raw moments are not weaknesses—they are what make you human and lovable. In today’s world, being real has become far more magnetic than chasing perfection.

Authenticity is not just attractive; it is the foundation of love that lasts. By celebrating imperfections, sharing your stories, and embracing vulnerability, you open the door to deeper and more meaningful connections. Being flawed and sincere is not a limitation—it is your greatest strength.

In a world where relationship labels are becoming more fluid, it’s easy to feel confused about the nature of your bond with someone. You may feel deeply connected to a person — emotionally safe, truly understood — yet there’s no romantic or sexual involvement. Is it just friendship, or something more meaningful, yet still non-romantic? That’s where the concept of a platonic relationship comes in. Understanding this can help you navigate your feelings and define your relationship better, as explained by eminent relationship and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo here.

What is a Platonic Relationship?

A platonic relationship is an emotionally close connection between two people that is not based on physical or romantic attraction. The term comes from the ideas of the Greek philosopher Plato, who believed that the highest form of love transcends physical desire and is rooted in mutual respect, intellectual connection, and deep emotional bonding.

This kind of relationship can exist between any two people, regardless of gender or orientation, and is defined by care, trust, and emotional intimacy without the complexities of romance or sexual tension.

Platonic Relationship vs. Friendship: What’s the Difference?

At first glance, platonic relationships and friendships may seem similar. Both involve companionship, trust, and shared moments. However, platonic bonds tend to carry more emotional weight and consistency than regular friendships.

In a typical friendship, people may connect based on shared activities, environments, or interests. These connections can be casual, and while trust exists, the emotional depth may not always run very deep. Friendships can fade over time as circumstances change.

A platonic relationship, however, tends to hold stronger emotional significance. You may find yourself turning to that person for life advice, sharing your innermost thoughts, or relying on them during difficult times. There’s often a level of priority given to this bond, even if it’s never romantic. It’s like having a life partner — just without the romance.

How to Identify if It’s Platonic or Just Friendship?

If you’re unsure which category your relationship falls into, consider the emotional dynamics. Do you feel emotionally safe and fully yourself around this person? Are they the first one you think of when you’re going through something important, good or bad? Do you value their presence in your life regardless of circumstances, and does the bond remain strong even without constant communication?

Also, notice if there’s mutual clarity. Platonic relationships often involve a silent understanding that the connection is deep and meaningful, but not romantic. There’s no hidden agenda, no mixed signals, and no pressure to turn it into something else.

Can Platonic Relationships Evolve Into Romance?

They can, but not always. Sometimes emotional closeness can lay the foundation for romantic feelings, especially if both people begin to see each other in a new light. However, many platonic relationships remain beautifully non-romantic throughout life, offering emotional nourishment without any complications.

If feelings do change on either side, honest communication becomes key. Ignoring shifting emotions can lead to confusion, distance, or even the end of the bond.

Platonic relationships are often underrated, yet they can be some of the most fulfilling connections in life. If you’re lucky enough to have someone who supports you emotionally, respects your boundaries, and remains consistently present, without any romantic strings, then you’re experiencing the rare beauty of platonic love. Understanding and honouring this kind of bond can enrich your emotional well-being and add a layer of stability and depth to your life that few relationships can offer.

In our fast-paced, digitally connected world, it’s ironic how often we can feel disconnected — not from others, but from ourselves. You may find yourself going through the motions of daily life, ticking off tasks, attending meetings, chatting with friends — yet feeling a persistent void within. This emotional hollowness, often hard to describe, is more common than you think. And it deserves your attention, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of India’s leading relationship experts and marriage counsellors.

What Is the Feeling of Emptiness?

Emptiness is not just about being bored or sad. It’s a deeper, more lingering state of emotional numbness or a sense that something crucial is missing in your life. You may feel emotionally drained, disconnected from yourself or others, or like you’re simply existing rather than living. People describe it as a “void,” “blank space,” or even like “floating in a bubble” that separates them from reality.

This internal vacuum isn’t always dramatic or obvious. In fact, it can subtly shape your thoughts and behavior — causing you to lose interest in things you once loved, feel detached in relationships, or struggle with motivation. It’s often tied to issues like unresolved trauma, depression, anxiety, grief, or even a lack of purpose or self-worth.

Why Might You Feel Empty Inside?

Unresolved emotional pain can quietly build up over time. We often suppress difficult emotions like grief, heartbreak, rejection, or trauma, believing it’s easier than facing them. But these unresolved experiences can eventually leave us feeling empty.

A lack of purpose or meaning is another common cause. When life becomes routine, without any direction or deeper motivation, a sense of hollowness can creep in. Even when everything looks fine on the outside — a job, social life, or achievements — the inside may still feel unfulfilled.

Feeling emotionally disconnected from others can also lead to this void. You might be surrounded by people yet feel isolated, especially if your interactions lack depth or authenticity. When we don’t feel truly understood or accepted, loneliness can quickly turn into emptiness.

Low self-worth plays a significant role too. When we constantly feel inadequate or not “enough,” it erodes our inner foundation. This often comes from childhood conditioning, societal expectations, or toxic relationships that make us question our value.

In many cases, this feeling is linked to mental health conditions like depression or anxiety. These aren’t just emotional states — they involve real chemical and neurological factors that impact how we feel, think, and relate to the world.

How to Address the Feeling of Emptiness?

Start by acknowledging your feelings. Don’t try to push them away or distract yourself with overworking, scrolling, or binge-watching. Instead, sit with the emotion and accept that it’s okay to feel this way. Recognising your pain is the first step toward healing.

• Explore what might be at the root of this feeling. Ask yourself reflective questions: When did this start? What changed? Are there emotional wounds I’ve avoided confronting? Writing in a journal or talking with someone you trust can help clarify your inner state.

• Look for meaning in small things. It doesn’t have to be life-changing. Purpose can come from creative hobbies, spending time in nature, volunteering, or simply nurturing relationships. Little acts of intention can start filling the empty space inside.

• Nurture emotional connections. Try opening up to someone about how you’re feeling — vulnerability creates room for genuine connection. Seek out communities or support groups where you can be your authentic self. Feeling seen and heard can be incredibly healing.

• Take care of your mental health. If this feeling continues to interfere with your life, don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counsellor. They can guide you through the process of understanding and healing. Reaching out is not weakness — it’s courage.

Above all, be kind to yourself. Talk to yourself gently, like you would to someone you love. You’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to take time to find your way back to emotional fullness.

Feeling empty inside doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It means your inner self is asking to be heard, nurtured, and understood. When you stop ignoring that quiet voice and start listening with compassion, you’ll begin to rediscover meaning, connection, and the fullness of being alive.

We live in an era where relationships are no longer confined to traditional definitions. Love, commitment, and companionship have taken on various forms, often influenced by social media, dating apps, and evolving societal norms.

From situationships to ghosting, breadcrumbing to benching, modern relationship dynamics have become increasingly intricate. The once-clear distinction between casual and serious commitments has blurred, making many wonder: Are people afraid of long-term relationships? Can there be a relationship devoid of emotions?

If you’ve ever pondered whether such a connection is possible, psychologist and eminent relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo sheds light on the concept of no-strings-attached (NSA) relationships and what they truly entail. 

What does No Strings Attached mean?

A “no strings attached” (NSA) relationship is all about passion without the weight of commitment. Whether romantic, sexual, or business-related, it thrives on mutual consent, freedom, and zero expectations. Think of it as an endless honeymoon phase—carefree, fun, and pressure-free—where no one anticipates a fairytale ending, just the joy of the moment.

What is the Psychology behind No Strings Attached?

The psychological factors that probably contribute to NSA are:

• Avoiding Emotional Vulnerability: Setting clear boundaries helps individuals protect themselves from potential hurt or disappointment if feelings develop.

• Freedom and Exploration: Allows both partners to experiment with different sexual dynamics and desires without the pressure of commitment.

• Emotional Independence: Ideal for those prioritizing personal growth or busy lifestyles, as it offers emotional freedom without the responsibilities of a committed relationship.

• Managing Expectations: Clearly defining the relationship as “no strings attached” minimizes misunderstandings about commitment levels.

• Individualistic Focus: Encourages prioritizing personal needs and desires over a partner’s, emphasizing personal agency and freedom.

• Exploration and Sexual Satisfaction: Provides a safe space to explore physical desires, experiment with preferences, and boosts sexual confidence.

What do You Gain in No Strings Attached?

1. No Need To Commit – If you are someone who isn’t ready to settle down, an NSA relationship can be ideal. With no pressure to commit, it offers convenience, freedom, and enjoyment without relationship-based responsibilities. There’s no exclusivity unless agreed upon, allowing individuals to engage with multiple partners. It’s a carefree way to explore connections without long-term obligations or vows.

2. Time is not a Constraint – In today’s fast-paced world, time is a luxury. An NSA (No Strings Attached) relationship offers the advantage of flexibility, allowing individuals to connect without the pressure of strict schedules or long-term commitments. Unlike traditional relationships, NSA interactions fit seamlessly into busy lifestyles, ensuring enjoyment without overwhelming obligations. With no need to coordinate availability, partners can focus on shared moments without sacrificing personal or professional priorities.

3. Self-Exploration – It helps you explore different relationship dynamics without commitment, giving insight into what you truly value in a partner. By experiencing various interactions, you become aware of traits you appreciate and those you cannot tolerate. This freedom boosts confidence, enhances communication, and allows self-discovery. A no-strings-attached arrangement helps you assess what works for you, ensuring you make informed choices when seeking a meaningful future relationship.

What Do We Lose?

1. Emotional Turmoil – The biggest drawback of an NSA relationship is the risk of emotional pain. When feelings get involved, someone often ends up hurt, feeling used or unvalued. If one partner develops deeper emotions while the other doesn’t, it leads to heartbreak. Though NSA relationships start with no expectations, they can still result in conflict and painful endings, making emotional detachment difficult in the long run.

2. Low Self-esteem – A “No Strings Attached” (NSA) relationship can negatively impact self-confidence by causing emotional detachment and feelings of being “used.” The lack of commitment may lead to anxiety, rejection fears, and self-doubt, especially if one person develops deeper feelings. Studies link casual sex to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. While NSA can boost confidence temporarily, it often undermines self-worth in the long run.

3. Negative Impact on Mental and Physical Health -Casual relationships might seem risk-free, but they come with hidden health risks. Without commitment or accountability, the chances of STIs increase due to a lack of exclusivity. Another overlooked aspect is sexual aftercare—emotional and physical support after intimacy. In committed relationships, partners naturally care for each other’s well-being, but in casual encounters, this essential care is often missing, affecting both physical and emotional health.

In a nutshell, NSA relationships offer freedom, excitement, and self-exploration without the weight of commitment. However, they come with emotional risks, potential self-esteem issues, and health concerns. While they suit some, they may not be for everyone. Understanding personal boundaries and expectations is key to making informed choices in modern relationship dynamics.

Dating can swing from exhilarating to downright frustrating. Among the many toxic trends in the modern dating world—ghosting, breadcrumbing, and zombieing—“sledging” stands out for its premeditated and manipulative nature. Rooted in a lack of genuine intent, sledging involves someone deliberately entering a relationship with plans to end it after a specific time, often right after the holiday season.

Let’s dive into this harmful trend, with insights from India’s top couples therapist and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, and explore how you can protect yourself from falling victim to it.

What Is Sledging in Dating?

Sledging refers to being strung along in a relationship solely to serve the other person’s temporary needs. The term captures the image of dragging someone emotionally, like pulling a sledge through the winter, with no intention of continuing the relationship after the holidays. Sledgers often decide months in advance to break up, wasting their partner’s time and leaving them blindsided when the relationship abruptly ends. Unlike the cozy bonds of cuffing season, sledging is purely for convenience and leaves the victim hurt and unfulfilled.

Why Do People Engage in Sledging?

Seeking Winter Companionship – Winter can feel isolating, and the festive season amplifies loneliness for many. To avoid being alone, some seek temporary relationships to fill the emotional void, valuing short-term comfort over long-term commitment.

Social Pressures During Festive Events – Holidays come with numerous social gatherings, and being single at these events can feel awkward. Many enter relationships to have a “plus one” for parties, family dinners, or holiday photos, prioritizing appearances over authenticity.

Fear of Commitment – The perks of companionship without emotional investment appeal to those wary of long-term commitments due to past heartaches or fear of vulnerability.

Ego Boost and Validation – For some, the thrill of attracting a partner and basking in their affection serves as an ego boost. The relationship itself is less important than the validation they derive from being desired.

Societal Expectations – Pressure from society—and social media—to appear in a relationship during the holidays drives people to engage in flings for show, rather than pursuing meaningful connections.

Avoiding Emotional Vulnerability
By keeping relationships superficial, sledgers shield themselves from the risks of deep emotional connections, enjoying the benefits of a relationship while keeping their feelings at arm’s length.

Red Flags of Sledging

• Mixed Signals – Early attention and communication wane over time, leaving interactions feeling shallow and routine.

• Reluctance to Discuss the Future – Your partner avoids making long-term plans, signalling a lack of serious intent.

• Focus on Instant Gratification – Sledgers prioritize immediate pleasure, showing little interest in building a lasting connection.

• Lack of Emotional Depth – Superficial conversations and avoidance of vulnerability suggest emotional detachment.

• Over-the-Top Affection Early On – An initial flood of affection (love bombing) may mask manipulative intentions.

How to Protect Yourself from Sledging in a Relationship?

• Seek Authentic Connections – Focus on shared interests and mutual goals to foster genuine relationships.

• Communicate Openly – Be honest about your relationship expectations and encourage the same from your partner.

• Avoid Treating or Being Treated as a Placeholder – Refuse to settle for a relationship built on convenience or seasonal loneliness.

• Resist Societal Pressures – Being single is a valid choice; your worth isn’t tied to your relationship status.

• Set Boundaries – Discuss needs and goals early. If there’s a misalignment, agree on a respectful exit strategy.

• Embrace Being Single – Singlehood can provide opportunities for personal growth and self-confidence, laying the foundation for future healthy relationships. It’s vital to focus on relationships rooted in authenticity rather than fleeting convenience. Sledging might seem like a harmless trend, but it creates emotional harm and robs people of opportunities for real connection. By prioritizing open communication, self-respect, and emotional honesty, you can protect yourself and build meaningful, lasting bonds.