Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

At some point in several long-term relationships, couples experience a rough patch, a time when they spar more than normal, feel bored and restless, and might even fantasize about being with someone else. This psychological term “7-year itch” became trendy in the 1950s when a movie by the same name handled the notion that many of you lose interest in your monogamous relationships after 7 years (though it is more popularly remembered as the movie where Marilyn Monroe posed over a subway grate while her white dress blew above her thighs).

If you or your spouse become inflicted with the 7-year itch, it does not mean automatic divorce.  On the contrary, it is completely normal.

In any venture boredom sets in overtime — this is due to the novel becomes the routine, after 7 years, many couples go through this period.  They find their partner irritating or boring and wonder if they’d be better off in a different relational state. But you don’t have to lose your sleep over it. In fact, consider it as a sign to improve your relationship. It’s quite easy to fix that feeling.

In this article, Delhi’s top Marriage Counsellor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo share tips to avoid the 7-year itch in your marriage. Here they are:

Change The Way You Think About Love

Many people mistake love for a noun, whereas, in reality, it’s a verb, an action that’s dynamic, constantly inflow. It’s not a static thing. Think of love as water and your relationship as a long and winding river that makes it flow. Yes, there would be quiet pools and rocky patches, but that’s part of the adventurous journey. And adventure is a nice thing.

Sex Is Perhaps Going To Change

Everyone remembers the hot and passionate sex couples were having at the start of their relationship: At times the kind of sex that made you call in sick from work. You may still enjoy bouts of passionate sex, certainly, but you must know that your sex life will change because your bodies and libidos change as you grow further. Do not think your sex life needs to be that of a 25-year-old. As you age, your sex drives diminish. This is a function of your biology. Allow your sex life to change over time. If you expect it to remain the way it was, you’ll destroy its present and future expression.

Work On Yourself First

It is easy to blame your spouse when your relationship bores, irritates, or makes you upset, and to think things like this. If only he would do the dishes from time to time; if only he cared about holidays and so on.  But blaming your spouse, then trying to change them will only lead to acrimony and anger. These emotions damage relationships. The best remedy for an interesting relationship is to become an interesting person. What you can do runs the spectrum, from taking a new route to work, to reading books, to playing board games together rather than watching TV at night. After all, small steps lead to big shifts in personality and perception.

Experience Life Together

The ideal way to combat boredom in a relationship is to fill your life with wonderful adventures that you can look forward to as a couple,

If you have children, make it a point to (minimum twice a year) take a vacation from them. You can really appreciate each other when the children are not around. If you cannot take a vacation, have a relative or friend watch them for a weekend and opt for a ‘staycation.’ Do something physical together. Go hiking or for a run, exercise is an amazing bonding experience.

Communicate Often

If you want to avert bickering over nonsense, the best stuff you can do as a couple learns to communicate frequently and without restrictions. Talk frequently and honestly to each other about your problems, sex, anger, disappointment, and appreciation of each other. No topic should be avoided. Learn to listen and communicate rather than fighting. Fighting is childish, and you aspire for a grown-up relationship.

Get Handsy

Hugging and touching has long been proven to lower stress, strengthen the immune system, and release oxytocin, that helps people bond with each other. Thus, it’s no surprise that touching your partner on a regular basis can keep you more connected and in sync with each other’s physical and emotional needs.

Sit near your significant one, and gently place your hand on their shoulder, leg, or arm. If you are in the car, lightly touch his/her shoulder or arm. You’ll notice your conversation becomes warmer and more caring. If you have been struggling, or are ready to forgive each other, facing each other and holding both hands will help you feel more strongly connected and reassured.

Nobody likes being rejected. When it comes to love, you put many of your hopes, emptiness, and traumas out into the open. Therefore, getting over romantic rejection is sometimes quite difficult. But it always depends.

The loss of great love can be devastating if you carry inside the unhealthy seed of feeling abandoned. It can also hurt when your age catches up to, or if you are on a time in your lives when you are really vulnerable. If there is cheating that might also make getting over romantic rejection very hard.

In spite of all the happenings, there is always a way out. Getting up and moving ahead is never easy, but it’s not impossible.

In this article, Delhi’s top Relationship Expert and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals 5 ways to overcome romantic rejection.

Getting Over Romantic Rejection By Checking Your Wounds

The first thing you must do, even when it hurts, is to pull off your improvised bandage and check the magnitude of your wound. What did you actually lose?

It is essential that you answer that question with sheer honesty. Sometimes you aren’t losing the love of your life, as you may believe, just illusions and expectations.

It’s quite possible that the most painful thing is not the loss itself. Sometimes, your ego hurts more. Probably, it brought up your old doubts about yourself because your self-love is already hurt.

The loss only shows you that reality without anesthesia. For getting over romantic rejection, you must look at what you had invested in that relationship.

Express Yourself By Every Possible Way

Feelings that are not expressed mostly turn into pain. Particularly, when it comes to negative feelings. This is why you must use all possible ways to let them out.

There are several kinds of ways to do it, not just talking time and again about what happened. You can write, for instance. As much as needed.

You can even paint your pain or you can dance. Anything that allows you to free those feelings is valid.

Refocus

Because of the psychological impact of the loss, you are might be thinking gloomy thoughts. Without realizing it, you start to focus only on the most negative aspects of everything. You unwittingly select the most painful interpretations of the facts and you focus on all the negative things in the world.

But refrained getting carried away by it. What you must do is refocus your attention in a more constructive way. Never allow the pain to invade your whole being, because it won’t give you anything but bitterness.

Aim to bring positive thoughts into your mind. Engage your will in appreciating all the good that still exists. This will be a huge help for getting over romantic rejection.

Free Yourself From Unrealistic Thoughts

Our society insists that loss or failure is totally unwanted. But it has been completely proven that this is not true. First, because situations like this are inevitable. Every human being goes through failure. And secondly, since there is no bigger opportunity to grow than from difficult experiences.

Romantic rejection is not the end of the world. Despite what soap operas and songs depict. In fact, it’s completely the opposite. Every ending also marks a beginning. What happens should happen. And it is always positive if you want it to be positive.

Take Advantage Of This Chance To Make Changes In Your Life

If you think you cannot continue living like this, good. It is time for you to focus on changing. Do not think about the person you have lost, think about other aspects of your life.

There’s always something to throw away, there’s always something to begin. Focus on that.

Nothing is better for overcoming a romantic rejection than to introduce fresh things to your life. Learning something new is always a great choice.

It keeps your mind occupied and that raises your eyes up to focus on new areas. It’s also great to change up your social circles or work on developing new habits.

You should be aware that nothing you do will automatically take away the pain. Wounds to the heart always take time to heal. Do not hurry.

Tolerate suffering and think about how it helps you to go ahead. Feed hope and do not fall into the trap of isolation. Believe that everything will turn out well. 

Considering a fact when you have an arranged marriage honeymoon seems to be a big deal. In the case of love marriage, the couple knows each other very well and has already spent a lot of time in a relationship with each other before their marriage. But in the case of an arranged marriage, they don’t get much time to spend with each other and still have much more to explore about their partner.

For an arranged marriage couple honeymoon is considered to be most important as in this short span of time there is a lot of things to be accomplished beyond knowing each other and as afterward, they get caught up settling in the new life and roles, trying to adjust and overcoming the post-marriage drama, duties, and traditions. So, it is the honeymoon period in an arranged marriage which is the best way to get closer and bond well with each other.

In arranged marriages, the honeymoon is a kind of icebreaker for the couple. For a couple who have never been together for a long time, it could be the best way to explore inexperienced territories.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about things to do on your honeymoon, if you have an arranged marriage.

Time To Celebrate Intimacy

It is your chance to finally spend some quality time with each other post all the wedding ritual stress. It is these memories you can cherish for a lifetime. The honeymoon is supposed to connect you physically with your partner, but it’s major fact being that it is about connecting with each other mentally, emotionally and physically.

A Proper Destination

Honeymoon is not about spending time together at some place, it is important to choose a tranquil and an apt place to spend quality time together. Choosing a destination that offers the activities that may interest both of you to participate and bond well.

Putting Your Mobiles Aside

During your honeymoon, make it a point to put your mobile phones away. It is your quality time to be spent time together in discovering each other. It’s no urgency to keep everyone updated socially including your family members. You may call once a day but you just don’t get into giving updates about your day to your family. Treat this time as a digital detox and put all your gadgets away. Carrying a camera to click pictures sounds good.

Take It Easy And Just Relax

Honeymooner is expected to relax and rejuvenate. Often in arranged marriages, couples don’t get an opportunity to know each other so well and it is a perfect time to know each other. Don’t plan it in such a way that you keep on moving from one place to another or with days fully packed with activities. Avoid stress during your honeymoon.

Spend At Least A Day In The Bed

At times, doing nothing is the best thing ever. Have no plans and just spend the time in each other’s company all alone, share secrets and whisper sweet nothings might be just all that you need. Spend your day being lazy and cozying up with each other and having lunch or brunch in the bed might add flavor to your romance.

Experience Newer Things

Start exploring the place you choose for a honeymoon with your better half, try something new which you have never done before and made the trip as the most memorable one.

Enjoy The Closeness

It is your chance to take things further in your relationship. It’s not all about sex. Don’t focus too much on it or make it stressful for you both. The honeymoon is not all about sex, don’t go with those fantasized expectations. Just let it go and be with the flow.

Woo him or her on the honeymoon by doing these things

·         You had an arranged marriage and is a possibility that you have not have proposed each other even once. Make him or her happy by getting down on your knees and proposing and show your love.

·         Compliment each other. It’s a way to warm people’s heart and when you do compliment your partner it will make them feel special.

·         Showing interest in their interested activities even when not like it that much is commended. You might not like sports which might interest your partner, still watch it with them or ask them to teach you, in a way, this will bond with each other.

Going On Dates

Even in an arranged marriage, you might have gone on dates with each other prior to your wedding. But it might not have been as romantic as it may be now. Plan a surprise as evening date and take your partner to a fancy restaurant and cherish each other’s presence.

Do you feel that your relationship is nearing an end? Avoiding a breakdown in a relationship asks efforts, particularly dealing with relationship issues such as physical disloyalty, anxiety, health issue, a shortage of quality time spending, or an emotional matter.

Even in the absence of non-occurrence of the above-said issues, still maintaining a healthy relationship asks for years of mutual promise, understanding, and honesty amongst the partners, they need to recommit & reaffirm each other often.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about 5 tips to avoid a breakdown in the relationship.

Building Trust

One of the most important tip to avoid a breakdown in the relationship is to start working on building trust mutually since numerous issues in a relationship originates from this factor alone.

Never question your partner if they have never given you a reason to doubt them. And if in past trust has been broken, put efforts in repairing the bond. When you can’t trust your partner, you won’t be able to depend on them emotionally or otherwise, which is not a good sign of a healthy relationship.

Building trust needs time & effort, but you can gradually progress by being honest with your partner. Being modest, being transparent in your actions, and always stand with your word can make your partner trust and admire being in a relationship with you.

Maintaining A Healthy Sex Life

Passion is an integral part of marriage that just cannot be ignored. Being sexually close as a couple is one of the fastest ways you bond with your partner, while it is a private, enjoyable and sexual expression that is shared between you two. With all those pumping adrenaline, dopamine, and oxytocin levels of hormones that gush through your body after getting intimate with your partner bring you and your partner closer.

Sex is also considered to have health benefits, as it helps reduces stress, your sleep is better, it lessens pain and builds a good immune system of you two.

More notably, it promotes a sense of gratification in a relationship. Some findings of the scientific study revealed the fact that in relationship couples showed a significant association between nuptial satisfaction and sexual satisfaction. Having a great sex life helps you and your spouse feel intimate and tolerate minor character flaws of another.

Communication

If you want to take just one tip out of this list to your heart, then consider this one as the most crucial one that: in order to avoid issues in a relationship, you and your partner must invest in learning how to communicate with each other.

Often partners unwilling to listen, talk, or empathizes with each other are on the path of the collapse of a relationship. It is this harmful behaviour that conveys to your partner your insignificance of their time and respect. It is a misunderstanding which may arise when partners don’t understand where the other is approaching from, or what they tend to convey.

Good communication will help to avoid arguments. It also boosts the bond between you two and helps letting you know each other better. However, you need to be eager to be at risk and have patience and put it ineffective to work.

Tackling The Problems The Right Way

In relationship couples often have arguments. Learn how to resolve your issues the right way tends to help in avoiding a breakdown in a relationship in the future. By following these 3 steps this can be achieved.

Listening: When an issue arises, let your partner voice their views & feelings on the matter. Let them speak up, uninterrupted, and with an open mind think what they are saying.

Communicating: Explaining your perspective in a calmer and respectful manner is needed. Do not yell, fight openly in public, or attacking your partner’s character. Instead, speak to solve the issue at once. Tackle the problem, not your partner.

Resolving: This one is the final step. In relationship issues, meet your partner at a suitable time and discuss how you both can fix the issue. You should mutually be willing to apologize in case they are in the wrong, or reconcile and meet somewhere “in the middle” to resolve it.

Taking Time Out For Each Other

Often Life can be hectic, but it shouldn’t be an excuse to ignore your partner.
Don’t let it become a habit that prevents you from spending as much time together as you would like, due to reasons that maybe work stress and concerns like family problems or health issues.

It can be very dangerous for a relationship which makes a partner feel like they are not worthy of another’s time or when work is chosen over relationships, or when friendships or child-rearing is set as a top priority above your relationship.

Do take quality time out for one another, that is by arranging a regular date night, or by arranging a routine activity together. Routine activity maybe like talking for an hour before bedtime, sitting and eating dinner at the table every night, or having a chat in the morning at the coffee table before you head off to your work.

It is a simple yet vital fact that doesn’t let small or big relationship issues dampen your relationship. Try to communicate, daily appreciate each other and invest in building trust in each other.

If you have been blindsided or confused by a breakup, you’re probably thinking about what exactly went wrong. You likely have plenty of unanswered questions that are hindering you from moving forward. But rather than staying stuck in one place once your relationship has ended, it is essential to ease yourself out of your rut and start moving further.

In this article, Delhi’s renowned marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares essential tips to let go of a failed relationship.

After all, the only way to gain a sense of freedom following a breakup is to accept the real situation and move in a new direction.

Cut Ties with Your Ex

First and foremost, implement a no-contact rule. For instance, if you were married and have recently filed for divorce, insist on maintaining only minimal contact going forward. And when you do see each other, follow the given rules: Be polite, be concise and be gone. The important part is that you need to begin building a life without your ex-partner in it, no matter how much you would like to tie up loose ends or get your questions about the breakup answered.

It does not matter why you broke up, what matters is that you have broken up. If he wasn’t a person enough to tell you why your partner was breaking up with you, then that’s just a further sign that he or she is not a person you want in your life.

Remember That It Is Over For a Reason

Write down a minimum of 10 reasons why your relationship didn’t work out. Then read it whenever you find yourself craving to rekindle the flame. It’s important to realize that the relationship wasn’t perfect.

Our tendency is to look back blindingly, but we forget to look at the things that simply were not working. Be honest with yourself about what wasn’t working for you in your relationship; it is a process that will help you see the relationship from a more realistic angle.

By looking at the things that did not work, you can begin to come to the conclusion on your own that this wasn’t correct for both of you. It will help you move on.

Remove Your Ex from Your Social Media Networks

Unfriend your ex on Facebook, stop following him/her on Twitter and even consider doing the same with any close friends of his who you have connected with through social media. If you can’t, you’ll have the temptation of wanting to know what’s happening in his life – and you almost cannot help following what’s going on.

It will seem harsh, but if you keep seeing or checking updates from your ex or his friends, it’s a kind of self-torture. Stop making yourself available to these types of experiences immediately.

Start Moving Forward In Your Life

There is a saying that the best revenge is living well and we’re inclined to believe that sentiment. Instead of pining away over something that didn’t work out, it is better using all that time and energy to improve yourself.

This is the time to take a good look at your priorities and find out which direction you want to go. You can start marching towards your brilliant future sooner than you actually think.

Whether you like it or not, your relationship has come to an end. The quicker you get on with the rest of your life, the better off you’ll be. Stop trying to find out what went wrong or what you could have done differently, and instead just accept your situation for what it is so you could heal.

Healthy and strong relationships depend on balance, honesty, and communication to work. And it is not always easy. There are bumps and detours we must navigate, but we have to do it together.

When a person starts to distance themselves from their partner, despite how much care and love the other person puts into the relationship, it simply means that they are no longer interested.

Maybe you are thinking.  They will come back, or it’s just a phase they’re going through. You cannot take responsibility for someone else’s conduct, and you cannot put your life on hold while they weigh the options.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about signs your partner is not interested in you.

They Prioritise Others But Treat You As An Option

Being in a relationship involves spending time with one another, and it should not feel like you have to force someone to do it. If your partner is constantly too busy or has other things to look after, then they are not prioritising you in their life. They are treating you as an option, and this is certainly a bad sign.

They Are Centric And Only Seem Interested When They Want Something From You

When a partner who is no longer interested tries to be absent for most of the relationship, but you will see them pop up more frequently when they need something from you. Maybe they want a ride to work this week, or they are overscheduled and need you to cover for them.

Whatever it may be, you would be able to spot their manipulative ways from a distance. How is that? Well, their fake affection and phoney smile will give them away every time.

Communication Breaks Down, And They Do Not Try To Resolve It

Most people in a healthy relationship would not enjoy it if they are not able to communicate with their partner. But those who are not interested in sticking around any longer do not seem to mind as much. If your partners stop calling, texting, asking how your day was spent, or even trying to make a conversation, they are possibly ready to move on.

If They Decide To Talk, It Is Always About Themselves

Nothing really interests a person who is ready to end a relationship, except themselves. They are their main topic of choice because, just be honest, it is not like they are spending any second thinking about you.

When Something Goes Wrong, You Are The One Who Is To Be Blamed

Even if everything is fine, you will still get blamed. It is an abusive tactic used by your partner to control and manipulate you, and if it is happening, just leave.

They Say Derogatory and Hurtful Things Intentionally

If your partner is disinterested in continuing a relationship but they have been too cowardly to admit it, they will begin to disrespect you. Whether you two are alone in the privacy of your house or with friends in public, they will say things that are aimed at hurting you. Do not let them get to you- their ugliness is their concern, not yours.

We all love our parents. It is of very good quality. In fact, if we are incapable of loving our parents, then we are not supposed to be called human.

Loving one’s mother is a divine characteristic. But treating others in a bad manner is an inhuman quality. If your husband loves his mother, then you do not need to find any fault with it. But during this process, if he insults you or makes things uncomfortable for you to live with him, then it is up to you how you resolve it.

If you remain silent, a lifetime of suffering could afflict you. If you deal with it hurriedly, chances are you could be misunderstood by your husband. So, find a better way of resolving the issue.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage Counsellor and Relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about signs your husband is a mama’s boy.

He cannot make any Decision Without Mom’s Help

As an independent woman, you have a mind and think of your own. So, you have decision-making abilities but you are surprised to see your husband consulting his mom for every minor or major decision. That bothers you a bit. This is one of the initial signs that your husband is a mama’s boy.

He Never Supports You When His Mother Shouts At You

He thinks his mother is always correct. So, when his mom shouts at you for any reason, he prefers to remain a silent spectator.

He Asks You To Be Like His Mother

This appears funny to you. But he asks you to dress up, cook and behave like his mom, and worship his mom. His mom is a role model to him and he expects an ideal woman has to be like her.

Your Husband Spends More Time Talking To His Mom

When your husband’s mom is out of town for a few days, he spends most of his time talking to her over the phone. And also, sometimes complains to her over the phone that you do not cook like her.

He Seeks Her Permission Even To plan A Family 

That looks absurd but it is true that he seeks his mom’s approval before planning to expand his family.

He Shares All Your Secrets To His Mom

You trust your husband completely and tell him everything about your life and past. And, he discloses them to his mom. She begins to suspect you and starts ill-treating you.

When You Are On A Holiday

When you are on a holiday, you tend to spend some time with your husband in a lonely spot and slowly try to kindle his passion. He suddenly takes out his phone, calls his mom and says “Mama, I miss you! You could have come with us” and weeps for a moment.

P.S. Well, there is nothing wrong if your husband loves his mom. Let him love his mom. But if his love bothers you, then you can voice out your opinion and try to get a solution.

– Important Relationship Advice Shared by Marriage Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

The love between you and your special one may be flowing smoothly at the moment, but if you want it to continue the same way, it will help to take stock of possible bad habits that could destroy your relationship if you allow them. Even the best of romantic bonds has scope for improvement, so why not analyze your situation for signs of habits that can have tendencies to sabotage your relationship and kick them out before they even get the chance to destroy a good thing?

If you spot them early, you can nullify these bad habits and avoid unintentionally screwing up your relationship. Honestly, there is no better incentive than to do a check-in with your partner to ensure your romance is as healthy as possible.

Delhi’s top marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about habits that can destroy your relationship if you allow them.

Assuming You Know How Your Partner Feels

You notice that suddenly your partner walked in the room looking gloomy, so naturally, that meant they were unreasonably miffed at you for something you probably did not do. Before you know it, you have launched into defensive mode, and instead of helping to remove the bad vibes, you have managed to spread them, making both you and your partner feel bad.

You should be aware that making assumptions can be damaging to our relationships because they never allow partners to share their situation, which makes them feel unheard.

Refusing To Accept Criticism

It can be really hard to take criticism from the one you love the most, particularly when you see all the shortcomings they have yet to work on. And absolutely no one wants to hear about all the those they mess up constantly.

But if your partner is trying to give you some constructive feedback about where they see an area for improvement in the relationship, ignoring their suggestion could possibly lead them to have disrespect for you, which can ultimately break down the bond you share.

Not Communicating Openly About Sex

You need to understand that, supposedly, the amazing thing you do in bed is actually a major turn-off to your partner, but you or your partner is too uncomfortable to address it. Whatever it requires, talking to your partner openly about your sex life is the only option to improve it. Otherwise, you will continue to suffer in silence and the unaddressed matter could strongly destroy what was once a good thing.

Suppressing Your Anger

As a couple, you often think that things are going great between you and your beloved, and you simply do not want to ruin them by bringing up some unpleasant stuff that could lead to a tense argument. You need to know that being angry is not always a bad thing to do. At times, if you are angry can help you share your concerns. It can disallow others from walking all over you. It can motivate you to do something positive. The key is managing your anger in the correct way.

Keeping Score

Not only is this tiresome and nitpicky, but it also shows that you do not trust your partner to carry their weight in the relationship. If you feel it necessary to monitor everything your partner does (or do not do) in order to make sure you are being treated fairly, you could be the obstacle in your relationship.

Not Fighting Fair

Silent treatments, gaslighting, stonewalling or yelling during an argument will certainly wear down even the best of partners. If you say you love a person, then those feelings should still be evident even when you are not getting along. Using manipulation tactics will only alienate you and guarantee that whatever rift you are experiencing will only grow further.

Frequently Raking Up The Past

If you cannot let go of what occurred in the past, your relationship could be history sooner or later. Being obsessed with prior arguments or lapse your partner made makes it very difficult to move forward. Consider consulting a couple’s therapist to work through your problems healthily so you can both approach the future with a clear mind.

Not Allowing Your Partner Personal Space

Quelling your partner because you are worried, they will leave you is one simple way to take your relationship from good to bad and then to non-existent. In fact, giving your partner space is more important for a couple’s happiness and contentment than enjoying a great sex life.

P.S. If you are in a relationship with someone you truly love and respect, the last thing you want on your conscience is realizing that you allowed a fixable bad habit to destroy your relationship.

As your kids enter into their teen years, various things will begin to change. To move along and assist your teen to develop in a positive direction, you are required to change your expectations and develop empathy, all the while establishing borderline. Making a safe, supportive, structured, and loving atmosphere are as essential for you as it is for your teenage kids.

Delhi’s top Psychologist and Adolescent Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares tips to deal with your teenage kids.

Adjusting To Their Independence

Treat them like a teen. Not like a child nor an adult. You need to accept that your teenage kid is not a small child anymore. So, it is essential to adjust your expectations and stop treating them like a child. But teens are not adults as well and are not supposed to be held responsible as an adult. The teenage mind is in the process of a critical stage of development which kids need you to help them through the phase of their lives. They are not developed in their decision-making skills, managing impulsiveness or reasoning. Rather  assuming, they would act and think the way an adult does. Always be ready for possible irrational behaviour.

If you’re not happy because your teenage child keeps making the same mistakes, have some compassion, patience and understand that your teen is still learning a lot and nowhere near being an adult yet. It is a part of being a teenager to learning through failure and mistakes. Frame the unpleasant experiences in their lives as learning opportunities.

Be Flexible With Their Freedom

If your teenage kid is putting an effort and showing their responsibility, practice more freedom. If they are making bad decisions, be more restrictive. Sooner or later, show them that their behaviour gives them freedom or restrictions and their own choices regulate their outcomes. If your teenage kid is asking for permission to do something you are willing to say no to, listen to them out. Tell, “I ‘you are not comfortable with it, and I want you to assure me that you are responsible enough towards what you do.

Similarly, say, “I gave you the freedom and you weren’t ready for it, so we are supposed to scale back now.

Focus On Trust, Not Suspicion

As a parent you need to accept the fact that teenagers can get into a lot of trouble, but do not focus your attention on the bad things alone, they’ve done in the past or the risks they may face. Even if your teen has greatly damaged your trust, it is essential for both of you to restore that trust. If you think your teenage kid may be up to something, ask them to explain it to you fully. Ask questions to seek clarity instead of jumping to conclusions. If you are not certain, tell your teen, “I’m worried, but I am opting to trust you on this.”

Implementing Rules And Consequences

If you are angry, stay calm. Take some time and gather yourself. Have a few deep breaths or walk away and come back when you are calm. This way, you are more capable to give fair and reasonable conversations and consequences. Particularly, if your teenage kid knows how to push your buttons or set you off, it is notably important to keep your cool and not discipline them out of frustration or anger. If you feel angry or upset coming on, tune into your body. Focus where you feel upset, do you have knots in your stomach?, do you tremble? or start sweating? Look for these signs and realize this is time to back off.

In a properly functioning body, sleep helps the brain to process your emotions and memories at the optimum level. When you wake up well-rested, your brain maintains a healthy mental and physical energy all throughout your day.

On the other hand, sleep deprivation restricts the brain’s ability to do just superficial activities like sticking to daily routine work. All throughout the day, the person may find challenges to gather enough mental energy to think and innovate, and at night, the brain would get so exhausted that simple relationship activities like conversations with a partner, romantic feelings and sexual drive may turn zero.

Across the world, scientific research is gradually suggesting that sleep may be the biggest factor in maintaining a good relationship. The quality of sleep of either one or both partners may affect everything from attraction to breakups. India’s leading relationship and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares how poor sleep can affect your relationship.

1. Poor sleep habits generally make a person unattractive 

After all, nobody likes the company of a mentally exhausted person, even the emotionally tired person himself/herself look for solace. In a relationship, too, mental exhaustion that is generally triggered by poor sleeping habits reduces attraction between partners.

2.  Poor sleep can fuel conflicts. 

Research suggests that sleep deprivation is one of the primary causes of couple conflicts. Poor sleep leads to poor or irritated mood that causes frequent couple conflicts, less understanding of partners’ emotions, and poorer conflict resolution.

3.  Sleep issues may increase marital aggression.

People with poor sleep habits often find it hard to control their impulses. This is one of the most discreet triggers for the degradation of relationship quality. Scientific studies have confirmed the links between sleep trouble, self-control, and aggressive behaviours. Hence, problematic sleep translates to lower self-control, and couples suffer from more aggression in their marriages.

4.  Healthy sleep encourages a healthy sex life. 

Behavioural studies have identified that men and women are less likely to be in the mood for sex if they’re sleep-deprived. Good and adequate sleep translates to more sexual desire and a greater likelihood of engaging in sex with a partner.