Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

In today’s digital dating and relationship landscape, mixed signals have become almost normal. One day, you receive sweet messages or compliments, and the next day, there is silence. This confusing pattern often leaves people wondering whether someone is genuinely interested or merely using them for attention. This is where the concept of breadcrumbing comes in. Understanding the difference between breadcrumbing and genuine interest is essential for protecting your emotional well-being and building healthy connections, according to Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of Delhi’s top relationship and marriage counsellors.

What Is Breadcrumbing?

Breadcrumbing is a relationship behaviour where a person gives you small, inconsistent bits of attention to keep you emotionally invested, without any real intention of committing or moving the relationship forward. The term comes from the idea of leaving “breadcrumbs” — just enough to keep you following, but never enough to satisfy your needs.

This behaviour is common in dating apps, friendships, and even workplace or social relationships. A breadcrumber may send occasional texts, react to your social media posts, or check in randomly, especially when they sense you are pulling away. However, they avoid deeper conversations, plans, or emotional availability.

How Does Breadcrumbing Typically Look?

Breadcrumbing often follows a predictable pattern. The person may:

• Text or call only when it suits them
• Disappear for days or weeks without explanation
• Avoid making concrete plans or cancel them repeatedly
• Offer vague promises like “we’ll meet soon” without action
• Show interest only when you seem less available

The key characteristic is inconsistency. Their attention comes in waves, leaving you confused and constantly waiting for more.

Why People Breadcrumb?

People breadcrumbs for different reasons. Some enjoy the validation and ego boost of knowing someone is interested in them. Others may be emotionally unavailable, afraid of commitment, or keeping multiple options open. In some cases, they may not even realise the emotional impact of their behaviour, but that does not make it any less harmful.

Breadcrumbing allows the other person to stay in control while investing minimal effort.

What Genuine Interest Looks Like?

Genuine interest, on the other hand, feels very different. It is consistent, respectful, and reassuring. Someone who is genuinely interested in you makes an effort to be part of your life, not just an occasional presence in it.

Signs of genuine interest include:

• Regular and consistent communication
• Making and following through on plans
• Showing curiosity about your life, feelings, and goals
• Being emotionally present and responsive
• Clear intentions rather than vague promises

With genuine interest, you are not left guessing. Even if the relationship is moving slowly, the effort and direction are clear.

Key Differences Between Breadcrumbing and Genuine Interest

Understanding the contrast between breadcrumbing and genuine interest becomes much easier when you look at specific behaviours. Below are clear, real-life examples that highlight how the two differ.

1. Communication Style

Breadcrumbing: Communication is sporadic and unpredictable. You may receive a sudden “Hey, what’s up?” after days of silence, with no real conversation or follow-up. Messages often lack depth and disappear once they have your attention.

Genuine Interest: Communication is consistent and intentional. Even during busy periods, the person makes an effort to check in, explain delays, and maintain a sense of connection.

2. Effort and Follow-Through

Breadcrumbing: Plans are vague and frequently postponed. Statements like “Let’s meet someday” or “We should catch up soon” are repeated but never acted upon.

Genuine Interest: Plans are specific and honored. If something comes up, they reschedule rather than disappear, showing that spending time with you matters.

3. Emotional Availability

Breadcrumbing: Emotional depth is avoided. Conversations stay light or surface-level, especially when you try to discuss feelings, expectations, or the future.

Genuine Interest: Emotional openness is present. The person listens, shares their thoughts, and is willing to have honest conversations, even if they feel uncomfortable at times.

4. Accountability and Respect

Breadcrumbing: Disappearances go unexplained. When questioned, the person may deflect, minimise your feelings, or suggest you are overreacting.

Genuine Interest: Accountability is taken seriously. They acknowledge mistakes, apologise when needed, and make changes to avoid repeating the same behaviour.

5. Impact on Your Emotional Well-Being

Breadcrumbing: You often feel anxious, confused, or insecure, constantly questioning where you stand.

Genuine Interest: You feel calm, valued, and secure, knowing where you stand even if the relationship is still developing.

6. Long-Term Intentions

Breadcrumbing: There is no clear direction. The connection remains stuck in the same place with no progress over time.

Genuine Interest: There is forward movement. The person expresses intentions through actions, showing a desire to grow the relationship naturally.

These differences make it clear that genuine interest provides clarity and emotional safety, while breadcrumbing thrives on uncertainty and minimal effort.

How to Protect Yourself?

The best way to deal with breadcrumbing is to set clear boundaries. Notice patterns instead of excuses. Communicate your expectations calmly and observe how the other person responds. Genuine interest will meet your clarity with respect, while breadcrumbing often fades or becomes defensive when confronted.

Remember, consistency is more important than intensity. Someone who truly cares will show up in actions, not just words.

Breadcrumbing and genuine interest can look similar at first, but over time, their differences become clear. You deserve relationships where effort matches words and interest is shown through consistency. Trust patterns, trust your feelings, and do not settle for crumbs when you deserve a full connection.

Have you ever felt confused by your partner’s emotional reactions—why they struggle to open up, suddenly withdraw, or need constant reassurance? You may also notice that some people cling tightly to relationships, while others fiercely guard their independence or fear getting too close. These patterns often create misunderstandings, emotional distance, and repeated conflict in relationships.

What many people don’t realise is that these behaviours rarely begin in adulthood. Their roots lie much earlier, in childhood. The emotional bond formed with primary caregivers shapes how we experience closeness, trust, and intimacy later in life. Psychologists call this bond an attachment style, and it plays a powerful, often hidden role in relationship breakdowns.

According to Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is one of the highly experienced relationship counsellors and marital therapists in Delhi and India, attachment styles influence how we express love, respond to emotional needs, and handle conflict. While these patterns develop early, they are not fixed or irreversible, and they are shaped by more than just parental affection.

What Is Attachment Style in a Relationship?

Attachment theory was first proposed by British psychologist John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth. It explains how children are biologically wired to seek safety and closeness with caregivers. When caregivers respond consistently and sensitively, children develop a sense of security and self-worth. When care is inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, or intrusive, children adapt in ways that help them survive—but those adaptations can create challenges in adult relationships.

It’s important to note that attachment strength does not depend on wealth, culture, or education. It is built through everyday emotional exchanges—responses to crying, smiling, fear, or comfort. Personality traits and later life experiences also influence attachment, so relationship struggles cannot be blamed on parents alone.

There are four primary attachment styles.

1. Secure Attachment

People with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with intimacy and independence. They are generally warm, caring, and open in their relationships, able to express emotions without excessive fear of abandonment. Because they trust both themselves and others, they don’t constantly seek reassurance or validation.

Securely attached individuals can recognise and regulate their emotions, communicate clearly, and manage conflict constructively. Their emotional stability often creates a sense of safety for their partners, allowing relationships to feel supportive, balanced, and resilient.

2. Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment

Those with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style crave closeness but live with a constant fear of rejection or abandonment. They invest deeply in relationships and often depend heavily on their partner for reassurance. Even small signs of distance—such as delayed replies or emotional withdrawal—can trigger intense anxiety about their worth or desirability.

To regain emotional security, they may act in ways that pull their partner closer, such as becoming overly accommodating, seeking constant validation, or provoking emotional reactions. These behaviours are driven not by manipulation, but by fear. Despite these challenges, anxious individuals are often emotionally aware, capable of deep empathy, and highly attuned to their partner’s feelings when they feel safe.

3. Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment

People with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style value independence and self-reliance above all else. They often view emotional closeness as uncomfortable or intrusive and prefer to keep their feelings private. In relationships, they may withdraw when intimacy increases, avoid vulnerability, or downplay emotional needs—both their own and their partner’s.

This pattern often develops in response to caregivers who were emotionally unavailable or rejecting, teaching the child to suppress needs and rely solely on themselves. While dismissive-avoidant individuals may appear confident and content alone, the desire for connection still exists beneath the surface. It is often restrained by a learned belief that closeness leads to disappointment or loss of freedom.

4. Fearful-Avoidant Attachment

Fearful-avoidant, also known as disorganised attachment, is marked by deep internal conflict. Individuals both desire closeness and fear it intensely. Love feels unsafe, unpredictable, or overwhelming. This style is often linked to early experiences of neglect, trauma, or chaotic caregiving, where the same caregiver was a source of both comfort and fear.

As adults, these individuals may swing between emotional closeness and sudden withdrawal, struggle to regulate emotions, and experience high levels of mistrust or self-sabotage. Intimacy can trigger anxiety rather than comfort, leading to volatile patterns, withdrawal, anger, or avoidance. Beneath these behaviours lies a strong longing for safety and connection, paired with a belief that love is dangerous or undeserved.

Attachment styles quietly shape how we love, communicate, and respond to emotional closeness. While formed early, they continue to evolve through life experiences and relationships. Understanding these patterns helps reduce blame, increase empathy, and bring clarity to recurring relationship struggles. With awareness and support, individuals and couples can move toward healthier emotional bonds, greater security, and more fulfilling relationships.

Love, faith, and communication are the perfect recipe for a healthy relationship. Yet we live in an era where touchscreens often speak louder than our voices, and notifications interrupt moments that once belonged solely to each other. Couples today are constantly busy—physically present but emotionally elsewhere—scrolling through lives instead of truly living their own. In this climate of distraction and constant movement, relationships are expected to adapt, bend, and survive at a faster pace than ever before.

As priorities shift and independence becomes more valued, commitment itself begins to take on a different meaning. The idea of lifelong promises can feel overwhelming in a world that celebrates flexibility and personal freedom.

Many people now seek companionship without the perceived weight of traditional expectations, believing that emotional connection does not always need formal labels to be real or meaningful. Gradually, this mindset has opened the door to alternatives where love is tested in shared spaces, daily routines, and mutual understanding—without immediately stepping into the institution of marriage.

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is a leading couples therapist and marriage counsellor in Delhi, shares her thoughts on whether a Live-in relationship would be good or bad in 2026 in this article.

What is a Live-in Relationship?

So, by now we all know what a live-in relationship is. It is an arrangement where a couple in love decides to live together without the social or legal sanction of marriage, yet remains equally responsible toward each other.

Pros of Live-in Relationship

1. Freedom Remains Intact

One of the things that happens when you are married is that you seem to lose some freedom, because your individual choices inevitably start affecting your partner. You cannot simply say no to your partner’s relatives’ wedding even if you do not wish to attend, or you may have to cancel a weekend trip so that your in-laws can spend time with both of you.

There are many ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’ you cannot ignore once you are married. In a live-in relationship, however, this freedom largely remains intact—choices are still personal, boundaries are more flexible, and compromises are made out of willingness rather than obligation, allowing both partners to retain a stronger sense of individuality. In fact, one does not have to legally separate like a divorce; they can simply part with each other amicably whenever they want to.

2. Compatibility Testing

One of the key factors of a healthy relationship is being truly compatible with each other, and a live-in relationship makes that easier to test. Living together allows partners to see the real person behind the smiles and polite gestures of dating.

When you share the same space, use the same kitchen, spend more time with each other, you get to know each other’s daily routine, mood swings, and quirks– things that aren’t visible during brief dates. Couples often put on their best behaviour during these short meetups, which makes it hard to see the real person.

3. Enhanced Communication

When couples choose a live-in relationship, their communication often naturally improves. Sharing a living space requires them to navigate daily routines, responsibilities, and conflicts together, which encourages clearer expression of needs and feelings. This constant interaction helps partners develop better conflict resolution skills and fosters healthier, more effective communication patterns within the relationship.

4. Saves Money

This is perhaps one of the most practical benefits of a live-in relationship. Couples can share their rent, bills, and other household expenses in a live-in relationship.

Cons of Live-in Relationship

1. Legal Problem

Without a clear legal or societal framework, live-in relationships can create uncertainty about commitment, future plans, and personal boundaries. This lack of clarity may trigger insecurity, anxiety, and misunderstandings between partners, making communication more challenging and leaving individuals unsure about their rights, responsibilities, and the relationship’s long-term stability.

2. Societal Factor

Society may not approve of such relationships. This further leads to emotional stress.

3. No Commitment

Lack of commitment is a major drawback of live-in relationships, as partners may avoid long-term responsibility. Without clear promises, emotional security often suffers, making the bond feel temporary. This uncertainty can lead to trust issues, unequal effort, and hesitation about future plans, leaving one or both partners feeling unstable inside.

So, is a live-in relationship a good or bad idea in 2026?

Honestly, it depends—not on the trend, but on the people involved.

A live-in relationship can work beautifully when there’s clarity. When both partners are open about what they want, where they’re headed, and what their boundaries are. When independence doesn’t turn into emotional distance. When freedom comes with responsibility. And when love isn’t treated as disposable just because it isn’t legally defined.

But it can fall apart when it’s used to dodge commitment instead of understanding it. When comfort replaces effort. When fear of permanence gets dressed up as “being modern.” And when the emotional work isn’t shared equally, leaving one person giving more, hoping more, and quietly settling for less.

Maybe the issue isn’t live-in relationships at all. Maybe it’s how confused we’ve become about commitment. Somewhere along the way, we started mistaking flexibility for depth, and freedom for bravery. Real commitment—married or not—has never been about paperwork. It’s about intention. It’s about choosing to show up, even after the excitement wears off.

• Love doesn’t demand a specific format. But it does demand sincerity.
• And whether you share a home or take sacred vows, the question stays the same:
• Are you building something meaningful—or just passing time together?

So, ultimately, a live-in relationship in 2026 can be good or bad depending on the couple. It all depends upon the perspective.

It works when there is honesty, clarity, respect, and shared responsibility. Without commitment and communication, it can cause confusion and hurt. Ultimately, meaningful relationships depend on intention, not labels.

Rejection has always been a part of growing up, but for today’s youth, it often feels heavier, louder, and more public than ever before. In a world shaped by social media, instant feedback, and constant comparison, rejection is no longer just a private disappointment.

It can feel like a public verdict. From being left on “read” to not getting enough likes or being excluded online, digital culture has transformed how young people experience and process rejection. This raises an important question about whether the online world is making emotional resilience harder to build, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is one of the top couples therapists and relationship counsellors in Delhi.

Rejection in the Age of Visibility

In earlier generations, rejection usually happened in limited social circles. A declined invitation, a failed exam, or a romantic disappointment was often experienced privately or shared with a few trusted people. Today, online platforms make social interactions visible and measurable.

When a post receives little engagement or a message goes unanswered, rejection feels quantified and exposed. For many young people, these small digital signals are interpreted as judgments on their worth, making rejection feel constant rather than occasional.

The Pressure of Constant Comparison

Social media encourages users to compare their lives with carefully curated versions of others’ success and happiness. When young people see peers achieving milestones, gaining attention, or appearing confident and admired, rejection can feel like personal failure rather than a normal life experience.

This comparison culture amplifies self-doubt and can make setbacks feel more significant than they truly are. Instead of seeing rejection as a temporary obstacle, many begin to internalise it as a defining trait.

Fear of Public Failure

Online culture has blurred the line between private mistakes and public embarrassment. A rejection can quickly become visible through screenshots, unfollows, or subtle online signals. This creates a fear of trying at all.

Many young people hesitate to apply for opportunities, express feelings, or share creative work because the possibility of rejection feels too public and permanent. The internet rarely forgets, and this perceived permanence adds emotional weight to every risk.

Reduced Opportunities to Build Resilience

Resilience is often built through repeated exposure to disappointment and recovery. However, digital interactions can limit this process. Online rejection tends to be abrupt, silent, or ambiguous, offering little explanation or closure.

Being ignored or excluded online does not provide the feedback needed to learn and grow. Over time, this can make rejection feel confusing and deeply personal, rather than a normal part of human interaction.

Emotional Validation and External Approval

Online culture places strong emphasis on validation through likes, comments, and followers. When approval becomes external and numerical, rejection feels like the absence of value. Youth who grow up equating attention with self-worth may struggle more when validation is withdrawn. This dependency can make rejection emotionally overwhelming, as it challenges both confidence and identity.

Learning to Reframe Rejection

Despite these challenges, online culture does not make rejection impossible to handle; it simply changes how it must be understood. Teaching young people to separate online feedback from self-worth is essential.

Rejection, whether online or offline, is not a reflection of personal value but a natural outcome of diverse opinions, preferences, and circumstances. Developing digital literacy, emotional awareness, and self-compassion can help youth navigate rejection more healthily.

Online culture has undeniably reshaped how today’s youth experience rejection, making it more visible, frequent, and emotionally intense. While this environment presents new challenges, it also offers an opportunity to redefine resilience for the digital age. By encouraging meaningful offline connections, fostering self-worth beyond online approval, and normalising rejection as part of growth, young people can learn not only to cope with rejection but to grow stronger through it.

Yes, a movie ends on a happy note — the hero and heroine walking into their “happily ever after.” But real life actually begins from there. When two people meet and fall in love, they make promises — some spoken, many unspoken.

As days turn into months and years, conflicts slip in naturally. Misunderstandings arise, expectations grow heavier, and the magic of the beginning can start to dim under the weight of everyday reality. But not all conflicts are bad. In fact, some are necessary. They peel away the illusions of perfection and invite both partners to grow. Yet when arguments begin to cross a line — when every disagreement feels like a battlefield — that’s when it’s time to pause.

How to de-escalate heated fights amongst couples?

Arguments shouldn’t spoil the bond; instead, learning to de-escalate them can strengthen it. And to help couples handle these stormy moments, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, a leading relationship expert and one of the highly experienced marriage counsellors in Delhi, India.

Press the Pause Button

When an argument starts to intensify, it helps if one person presses pause right away. A relationship grows stronger when both people choose connection over winning, because it’s not about who’s right—it’s about how you treat each other while you work through things together.

Taking a short break lets emotions cool, prevents regretful words, and gives each person space to reflect on what they’re really feeling.

Research even shows that about twenty minutes is often enough to bring your heart rate down and regain a sense of calm. In moments like these, the healthiest thing you can do is step back and say, “Let’s stop here for a moment. We need to hear each other out.”

Reflect

Once you hit the pause button, the next step is to reflect on your own feelings, on what the situation is really asking of you, and on how things might look from your partner’s side. This small moment of self-check creates space for calm and clarity, making it easier to speak with empathy rather than react out of frustration.

It’s natural to feel convinced that we’re right and the other person is wrong, but pausing helps us soften that instinct and look at the situation with a bit more honesty. In that brief break, you can sort through what you actually need, what may have triggered you, and how to express yourself without blame.

Often, just taking those few intentional seconds is enough to shift the entire tone of the conversation and prevent it from spiraling.

Find out the Real Why

When couples argue, the real issue often slips beneath the surface, buried under reactions, tone, or the heat of the moment‌. That’s why it helps to pause and look for the⁠ true trigger—sometimes it’s something as small as feeling unheard, overwhelmed⁠, or unappreciated, rather than whatever started the argument on the surface.

If you peel back the layers a bit, you might find that one person was already carrying stress‍ from elsewhere, or that an old, unresolved concern got brushed up‍ again without anyone realising it. Getting to that “why” isn’t about assigning blame; it’s about understanding the emotional undercurrent‌ so both people can respond with empathy instead of frustration.

Listen to Your Partner

Sometimes the simplest advice is the hardest to follow — just listen. In the middle of a heated argument, couples often talk over each other, raising their voices without actually hearing a word being said. But listening is one of the most powerful tools for de-escalation.

When you slow down and genuinely pay attention, you’re not just absorbing words — you’re acknowledging your partner’s feelings, showing that their emotions matter, and creating space for understanding instead of defensiveness.

Real listening means trying to grasp what they’re really upset about, what they need, and why it matters to them. It’s a sign of respect, care, and willingness to fix the issue rather than fuel it further.

And often, once someone feels heard, the tension softens naturally; solutions appear more easily, and the conversation becomes less about winning and more about reconnecting. Listening doesn’t magically solve everything, but it opens the door to resolution — and that’s usually all a relationship needs to start moving forward again.

Choose Your Words

It’s surprising how quickly a‍ few careless words can‍ turn a small disagreement into something painful. In the heat of an argument—especially between couples—words can come out harsh, thoughtless, or completely misunderstood, and once they’re said, you can’t take them back.

That’s‌ why choosing your words‍ with intention matters so much, instead of slipping into blame,⁠ personal attacks, or sweeping statements like “you always” or “you never,” try grounding the conversation in your own feelings with gentle “I”‌ statements.

Slow down, listen without interrupting, and make space for your partner to feel heard. Not every disagreement needs a winner; sometimes the real victory is understanding each other better. A little patience, clarity, and‍ kindness can keep a difficult⁠ moment from becoming a damaging one.

In a nutshell, de-escalating arguments isn’t about winning—it is about caring for each other. Take a step back,‍ listen, understand what’s really bothering each other, and communicate gently. Little pauses, honest reflection, and thoughtful words can turn tension into connection, helping couples grow closer instead of drifting apart.

Check out Popular Blog Posts on relationship tips on Couple fights

• Why Fighting Over Who’s Right Is the Wrong Approach in a Relationship? – One of the top couples therapists in Delhi and Gurgaon, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, explains why arguing over right vs. wrong harms relationships.

• How To Make Your Boyfriend Talk after a Fight? – How to make your boyfriend talk after a fight? Answers Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the leading marriage counsellors and one of the best relationship therapists in India.

• Is Your Relationship Worth Fighting For? Signs You Should Not Give Up Just Yet – Marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells if your relationship is worth fighting for?

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• Do You Find It Difficult to Approach Your Partner After a Fight? – Marriage Counsellor Shivani Sadhoo Reveals How to Break the Silence Post a Fight with Your Partner