Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

For many couples, infidelity is a devastating experience. When a partner admits to cheating, it can shatter trust and put the relationship at serious risk, whether dating, engaged, or married. While the media often portrays men as the usual cheaters, the gap between men’s and women’s infidelity has narrowed significantly over the years.

According to data from the 2022 Global Social Survey (GSS) by the University of Chicago, about 20% of men and 13% of women confessed to cheating on their spouse. Another survey by YouGov in 2019 reported similar results, with 20% of men and 10% of women admitting to infidelity. Over recent decades, the number of women who cheat has steadily risen, showing a clear shift. But even with these statistics, one key question lingers: Why do women cheat?

Why Do Women Cheat?

Marriage counsellor Shivani Sadhoo says the rise in women’s infidelity is often linked to the changing roles and independence that modern women experience. With more financial freedom and career opportunities than in past generations, many women feel empowered and open to exploring choices that weren’t as accessible before. As women gain autonomy, expectations for marriage have shifted, moving from traditional roles to a desire for deeper emotional connection, happiness, and friendship within the relationship.

Additionally, relationship dynamics tend to shift over time, making it harder for long-term partners to fulfill all of each other’s needs. Today, many people look for a partner who aligns with them in terms of emotional intelligence, career achievements, lifestyle, and shared goals. As these individual needs evolve, some may seek affirmation or connection outside the relationship, especially when feelings of being desired or appreciated become less accessible in a long-term partnership.

Why Women Cheat: 7 Key Factors

Delhi’s leading marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares seven factors that make women cheat.

Emotional Disconnection

Emotional intimacy is often a foundation in relationships, and when it fades, women may feel isolated or neglected. If they aren’t feeling supported, heard, or valued by their partner, the need for emotional closeness might lead them to seek it elsewhere.

Lack of Physical Intimacy

A drop in physical intimacy can make women feel less desirable and connected. This void, especially in long-term relationships, may prompt them to look outside the relationship for the affirmation and warmth they miss.

Seeking Validation

Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and when self-esteem dips, some women may seek validation from others to feel attractive and valued. This need for reassurance can be especially compelling if they aren’t receiving it within their primary relationship.

Opportunity and Independence

With increasing financial and social independence, women have more freedom and agency than previous generations. The ability to make their own choices can sometimes extend to exploring options outside their relationship when needs aren’t met.

Boredom or Stagnation

Routine can dull the excitement that once defined a relationship. When things start feeling predictable and unstimulating, women may be tempted to find new excitement and passion in a different connection.

Resentment or Revenge

Unresolved hurts or betrayals, whether related to infidelity or other breaches of trust, can cause feelings of resentment. For some women, infidelity may seem like a way to “even the score” or address the pain they’ve experienced.

Curiosity and Personal Growth

Sometimes, women may feel the need to explore or grow beyond their current relationship, especially if they feel it’s limiting. The urge to understand themselves in different scenarios or meet new people can lead to actions outside their relationship.

Cheating is never a justified choice—it’s always better to end a relationship before starting something new. However, understanding why women may be unfaithful can be insightful. Most reasons for infidelity often point back to unmet needs within the relationship. Focusing on maintaining a strong connection and ensuring both partners feel fulfilled can be essential in keeping the partnership healthy.

When you love someone deeply, betrayal is the last thing you expect. Infidelity leaves lasting emotional scars, and while both men and women can be unfaithful, studies show men tend to cheat more often.

Why do men cheat?

The reasons vary, from seeking novelty to dissatisfaction in their current relationship. However, a significant factor behind infidelity is emotional immaturity. Men who cheat often lack the emotional depth required for a committed relationship. This article, featuring insights from Delhi and Gurgaon’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, explores why emotionally immature men are more likely to stray.

Avoids Responsibility

Emotionally immature men tend to avoid responsibility, which is a major factor in why they cheat. They struggle to take accountability for their actions, often shifting blame or making excuses. This creates a pattern where they dodge key responsibilities in life, such as commitments in relationships or careers. Cheating, for them, becomes an easy escape from the challenges of maintaining a healthy, committed relationship.

Lack of Impulse Control

Men who are emotionally immature often struggle with managing their impulses. Their inability to regulate their emotions can lead to poor decision-making, especially in relationships. Instead of handling stress or conflict rationally, they act on impulse, seeking short-term thrills without considering the long-term consequences. This impulsiveness makes them more likely to cheat, as they react without thinking about the harm they’re causing.

Lack of Empathy

Empathy—the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings—is often lacking in emotionally immature men. They prioritize their own needs and desires, rarely considering how their actions affect others. This detachment leads them to act dishonestly and dismissively, making them more prone to infidelity. Without empathy, they fail to recognize the emotional damage they inflict on their partners.

Low Self-Esteem

Emotionally immature men often mask deep-seated self-esteem issues with arrogance. This arrogance stems from a need for control and validation, which they often seek through cheating. Their low self-esteem makes them impulsive, as they are driven by a desire to feel superior or powerful. These men seek external affirmation to compensate for their emotional vulnerabilities, further perpetuating their harmful behaviors.

Inconsistent Behavior

Inconsistent behavior is a common trait among emotionally immature men. They often make grand promises one day, only to disregard them the next. This lack of stability creates emotional turmoil for their partners. Their impulsiveness and failure to follow through on commitments make trust impossible to build. This inconsistency also makes cheating more likely, as they prioritize fleeting desires over maintaining the integrity of their relationship.

Resistance to Growth

Emotional growth is essential in life, but immature men resist it. They refuse to acknowledge their flaws or work on self-improvement, remaining stuck in their comfort zones. This resistance to growth leads them to act on impulse, ignoring the long-term impact of their decisions. Instead of learning from their mistakes, they continue to repeat them, making infidelity more likely. Their lack of emotional depth prevents them from forming lasting, meaningful connections.

Emotional immaturity is a significant driver of infidelity in men. Their avoidance of responsibility, lack of impulse control, empathy, self-esteem, and inconsistency contribute to their inability to maintain committed relationships. Without emotional growth, they remain trapped in destructive patterns, causing lasting harm to those they claim to love.

Gone are the days when we celebrated milestones privately with friends and family. Social media has transformed how we connect, and now a simple post or story often replaces intimate gatherings. While social media offers a convenient way to share our lives, it can blur the lines between what should remain private and what we choose to make public.

What things should you not post about your relationship on social media?

Relationship expert and Delhi’s leading marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, warns against oversharing, as it can sometimes harm the very relationships we’re trying to celebrate. Here are six things you should avoid sharing about your relationship online:

Avoid Seeking External Validation

Your relationship doesn’t need public approval to be meaningful. Constantly posting about it for likes or comments can add unnecessary pressure and reflect insecurity. Healthy relationships thrive privately without the need for a social media audience. Sharing too much can force emotions to grow based on external validation rather than letting love develop naturally between you two.

Get Your Partner’s Consent

Sharing photos or personal details about your partner without their approval can invade their privacy. Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you can share everything publicly. Always ask for your partner’s consent before tagging them in posts or sharing pictures. Respecting their comfort level is crucial to building trust and ensuring they feel valued. By doing so, you also strengthen your bond by showing that their opinions matter.

Don’t Post About Conflicts

Every relationship has disagreements, but venting about arguments on social media is a bad idea. Sharing conflicts publicly can hurt your partner and lead others to form negative opinions about your relationship. Online advice from friends, though well-meaning, may also cause more harm than good. Instead, resolve issues privately with your partner. Posting in moments of anger can lead to regret and long-term damage to the relationship.

Don’t Brag About Gifts

While it’s exciting to receive gifts, constantly posting them on social media can come across as bragging. Your partner might prefer to keep these moments private and may feel uncomfortable with the attention. Plus, trying to make your relationship appear more extravagant than it is can create pressure and unrealistic expectations. Instead of sharing every gift online, cherish these moments together without seeking validation from others.

Limit Frequent Status Updates

Constantly updating your relationship status online—whether it’s changing from single to in a relationship or making it “complicated”—can create unnecessary pressure. While it may feel gratifying at the moment, these updates often reflect instability and invite unwanted opinions from others. Focus on nurturing your relationship privately rather than publicly broadcasting each shift in your love life. What truly matters is the bond you share, not how others perceive it.

Don’t Post About Your Breakup

Breakups are hard enough without adding the complexity of social media. Posting about a breakup can lead to endless questions and amplify your feelings of sadness. Not everyone will respond positively, and you may regret sharing such a personal event. Instead, focus on healing privately and avoid publicizing the details of your breakup.

Let your relationship thrive away from the public eye. Avoid seeking external validation, sharing conflicts, or posting frequent updates. Respect your partner’s privacy and cherish special moments privately. Remember, the strength of your relationship lies in the bond you share, not in how it appears on social media.

No relationship is flawless. Even in the most loving partnerships, there will be moments when your partner hurts you—sometimes unintentionally, other times, it may feel more deliberate. Disagreements are inevitable, whether they’re about money, parenting, or personality clashes. What often turns minor conflicts into significant issues is when boundaries are crossed or ignored.

So, what do we do when conflict arises? Do we keep fighting, seek revenge, or find a way to forgive? Forgiveness doesn’t mean accepting wrongdoing. Instead, it allows you to let go of the pain, anger, and resentment, choosing healing over hurting. By forgiving, you help your relationship grow stronger.

What are the ways to forgive in relationships?

Leading marriage counselor in Delhi and Gurgaon Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares six steps to forgiveness in relationships.

Honest Communication

The first step toward forgiveness is having a heart-to-heart talk with your partner. Open and honest communication is essential for understanding what went wrong. Trust may feel shattered, like being caught in a storm, but discussing the situation helps you move forward. If your partner lied, ask why they hid the truth. If they became emotionally distant, explore why they felt unable to express their needs. Honest dialogue is the foundation for rebuilding trust and moving ahead together.

Look Within

Forgiveness is more about your healing than the other person’s actions. It involves releasing anger, pain, and resentment, but this shouldn’t be rushed. Take the time to process and heal before letting go of those emotions. Focus on what you can control—your own thoughts and actions. This may involve accepting your role in the conflict or recognizing that you need to shift your perspective. By looking within, you empower yourself to heal, regardless of what the other person does.

Embrace Empathy

Practicing empathy can help you better understand the other person’s perspective. Try to see the situation through their eyes. Ask yourself what might have influenced their actions—stress, personal struggles, or feeling overwhelmed. Considering their challenges may help you approach the issue with more understanding and patience. Empathy doesn’t excuse bad behavior, but it does allow you to approach the situation with compassion, making forgiveness easier.

Conquer Your Fear

Holding onto anger and resentment might feel like it gives you power or protects you from future hurt, but in reality, it does the opposite. Resentment creates distance in relationships and blocks healing. It builds walls rather than offering protection and can make future conversations harder. Letting go of anger doesn’t mean losing your strength; it means finding peace and moving forward with clarity. Freeing yourself from negative emotions will allow you to create space for healthier communication and happiness in the relationship.

Let It Go

Forgiveness requires releasing your pain. While this may be difficult, it’s essential for your emotional well-being. Identify why it’s hard to forgive, then be willing to let go. As you work through your emotions, release any resentment, anger, or hurt. Though forgiving someone who has deeply hurt you can be challenging, doing so frees you from emotional burdens and restores your peace of mind. Forgiveness allows you to move forward, enabling personal and relationship growth.

Show Accountability

Mistakes happen, and there is no shame in making them. It’s essential to forgive yourself and your partner to move beyond challenges. Mistakes are opportunities for growth, and forgiveness fosters trust and accountability. It reduces resentment and ends the blame game. Taking responsibility for your actions—whether you were hurt or caused hurt—builds trust over time. If you’ve wronged your partner, own up to it and apologize sincerely. A genuine apology acknowledges the pain caused and shows a commitment to change. While an apology doesn’t erase the hurt, it demonstrates your desire to improve and make things right.

Forgiveness is a journey, not a destination. By embracing honest communication, self-reflection, empathy, and accountability, you can release pain and resentment. This process strengthens relationships, allowing love and trust to flourish again. With patience and mutual effort, forgiveness paves the way for a brighter future together.

Love is one of the most powerful emotions a person can experience, and it often manifests through subtle yet significant behaviors. When a woman is truly in love, her actions will reflect her deep affection and commitment toward her partner. Understanding these behaviors can provide insights into how she feels and her intentions in the relationship.

What are the signs usually shown by a woman that suggests she truly is in love with you?

Here are five behaviors that a woman usually displays when she is genuinely in love, says Delhi’s top marriage and family therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

She Prioritizes Your Well-Being

One of the most common signs that a woman is truly in love is her concern for your well-being. She will often go out of her way to ensure that you are happy, healthy, and emotionally secure. Whether it’s reminding you to eat well, helping you through tough times, or simply lending an ear when you need to talk, she will be actively involved in your life. This level of care isn’t just about being attentive; it’s about wanting the best for you in every aspect of your life.

In love, she may make sacrifices to make your life easier or better. This doesn’t mean she’ll lose herself in the process, but her genuine care and effort to make you comfortable is a significant indicator of her feelings.

She Is Fully Present

In today’s fast-paced world, being truly present with someone is one of the most powerful ways to show love. A woman who is in love will give you her undivided attention when you’re together. Whether you’re having deep conversations or simply spending quiet moments in each other’s company, she will make you feel like you are the most important person in the room.

Her body language will also reflect this presence. She’ll maintain eye contact, lean in when you speak, and engage fully in the conversation. This genuine focus on you is her way of showing that she values your relationship and cherishes the time you spend together.

She Shows Unconditional Support

When a woman is truly in love, she becomes your biggest supporter. She will encourage your dreams and ambitions, even when they seem far-fetched. Her love translates into believing in you, sometimes even more than you believe in yourself. She will offer advice when you need it but will also give you the space to pursue your passions and make your own choices.

This support can also manifest during challenging times. Whether you’re dealing with work stress, family issues, or personal challenges, she’ll stand by your side. Her ability to be there for you through thick and thin is a strong indication of her love and commitment.

She Includes You in Her Future Plans

A woman in love will naturally begin to include you in her long-term plans. Whether it’s discussing future vacations, career goals, or even family planning, her thoughts of the future will often involve you. She will be eager to share her dreams and hopes for the future with you, and she’ll want to hear yours too.

This is a clear indication that she sees you as part of her life moving forward. The desire to build a future together shows that her love for you goes beyond the present moment and extends into the years ahead.

She Is Vulnerable and Trusts You

True love involves vulnerability and trust. When a woman is truly in love, she will open up to you about her deepest thoughts, fears, and insecurities. This openness isn’t a sign of weakness but rather a sign of trust. She feels safe enough with you to share her true self, knowing that you will accept her as she is.

Being vulnerable also means that she trusts you with her emotions. She’ll be honest about how she feels and won’t shy away from expressing her affection. This emotional transparency is a strong sign of her love because it shows that she’s willing to invest in the relationship on a deep, emotional level.

When a woman is truly in love, her actions will speak louder than words. From prioritizing your well-being to including you in her future plans, these behaviors reflect the depth of her feelings. If you notice these signs in your partner, it’s a good indication that her love for you is genuine and lasting. The key to maintaining such a relationship is mutual respect, communication, and reciprocation of these loving behaviors.

Why is it that finding love often feels like stumbling through a maze blindfolded? We all have our preferences, our checkboxes, and our ideal visions of a perfect partner. Yet, despite our best efforts, we often find ourselves making mistakes along the way.

What kind of mistakes do we make while looking for love?

Let’s get to know about the same from India’s leading marriage counselor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

Having Great Expectations

Perhaps one of the biggest mistakes people make when searching for love is having oversized expectations. They hope for a fairy-tale romance without any hiccups. But always remember that real relationships require effort. We often pressure ourselves to find love by a certain deadline and rush to advance to the next stage within a specific timeline.

However, each relationship and person is unique, so our expectations going into dating shouldn’t be the same for everyone we meet; everyone is on their own path. Instead of imposing deadlines, we should be open and accepting of ‘what will be, will be’ and enjoy the moment. Putting pressure on ourselves takes away the fun and thrills that dating can offer.

Impatience

There’s no point in rushing into relationships as they often lead to trouble. It’s tempting to dive in headfirst, but ignoring red flags can spell disaster. Patience is key; good things take time. Let things evolve naturally, truly understanding your partner and their values before making big commitments. Chemistry trumps passion for longevity. A strong connection ensures a healthier, longer-lasting relationship. So, take it slow and let love blossom at its own pace.

Focusing on External Appearance

Sometimes, on our quest for true love, we get caught up in the glitz and glamour of external appearances, forgetting to delve deeper into the essence of the person we’ve fallen for. It’s easy to be drawn in by good looks or charm, but true connection lies in understanding and appreciating the inner beauty that defines a person.

By solely focusing on superficial qualities, we risk missing out on the qualities that truly matter – kindness, empathy, intelligence, and shared values. These are the qualities that create a strong and enduring bond, making the pursuit of superficial attributes a big mistake in the search for genuine love.

Lack of Self-awareness

Another mistake people often make while looking for true love is neglecting to understand themselves. Failing to delve into self-discovery and grasp their values, goals, and desires from a relationship can hinder the journey toward finding genuine love. It’s essential to explore one’s own love stories, identify the qualities and traits that resonate with them, and understand their patterns of thought and behavior in relationships.

Without this self-awareness, individuals may struggle to make informed choices when selecting potential partners, resulting in incompatible relationships. Understanding oneself better empowers individuals to navigate the complexities of love and make decisions aligned with their long-term vision for a fulfilling relationship.

Seeking Validation

Are you in search of true love only because you want to feel important or to be noticed? Seeking validation from friends, family, or a partner is a big mistake. It leads to unhealthy dependency and unhappiness. True love should complement your life, not define it entirely. Before searching for love, love and fulfill yourself first.

Seeking external validation can lead to low self-esteem. You might start relying on others’ recognition and approval to feel good about yourself. Over time, you could lose sight of your own value and strength.

Overlooking Red Flags

When you’re in search of true love, ignoring red flags is a significant mistake. These warning signs, such as inconsistent behaviour, lack of communication, or unresolved issues from the past, indicate underlying problems or compatibility mismatches that can lead to future turmoil and heartbreak. By overlooking these signals, you risk wasting time and emotional energy on relationships that may not be right for you.

It’s crucial to pay attention to your intuition and address red flags early on, as they can protect you from entering into unhealthy or unfulfilling connections. Recognizing and addressing these warning signs allows you to make informed decisions, fostering healthier relationships built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding.

There are more aspects to consider when seeking love, but avoiding common mistakes like unrealistic expectations and ignoring red flags can pave the way for genuine, fulfilling connections. Remember, patience, self-awareness, and authenticity are key to finding lasting love.

Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Yet, expressing your needs and desires can sometimes feel daunting or uncomfortable. Whether you’re seeking more affection, support, or understanding, learning how to ask for and get what you need in a relationship is crucial for its growth and longevity. Here are some effective strategies to help you navigate this process as shared by Delhi’s leading couples therapist and relationship counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

In what ways could you ask and get what you need in your relationship?

Reflect on Your Needs: Before initiating a conversation with your partner, take some time to reflect on your needs and desires. What are you seeking from the relationship? What specific changes or actions would fulfill those needs? Understanding your own feelings and motivations will help you communicate more effectively.

Choose the Right Time and Place: Timing is crucial when addressing sensitive topics. Choose a time when both you and your partner are calm, relaxed, and free from distractions. Find a quiet and private space where you can have an open and honest conversation without interruptions.

Use “I” Statements: When expressing your needs, use “I” statements to convey your thoughts and feelings without placing blame on your partner. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try saying, “I feel unheard when we don’t have meaningful conversations.”

Be Clear and Specific: Clearly articulate your needs and preferences to avoid misunderstandings. Provide specific examples and suggestions for how your partner can meet your needs. Avoid vague or passive-aggressive communication, as it can lead to frustration and confusion.

Practice Active Listening: Communication is a two-way street. Be sure to actively listen to your partner’s response without interrupting or becoming defensive. Validate their feelings and demonstrate empathy, even if you may not fully agree with their perspective.

Focus on Solutions: Instead of dwelling on past conflicts or assigning blame, focus on finding solutions that satisfy both partners. Brainstorm together and be willing to compromise to reach a mutually beneficial outcome.

Express Appreciation: Acknowledge and appreciate your partner’s efforts to meet your needs, even if they may fall short at times. Positive reinforcement can strengthen your bond and encourage continued efforts to support each other.

Seek Professional Help if Needed: If communication barriers persist or if you’re struggling to address deep-seated issues, consider seeking the guidance of a couples therapist or counselor. A trained professional can provide impartial support and offer valuable tools to improve communication and resolve conflicts.

Practice Patience and Persistence: Building effective communication skills takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and your partner as you navigate this process together. Stay committed to open and honest communication, and be willing to adapt and learn from each other along the way.

Revisit and Revise: As your relationship evolves, so too may your needs and priorities. Regularly revisit conversations about your needs and make adjustments as necessary. Keep the lines of communication open and continue to work together to nurture a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Asking for and getting what you need in a relationship requires courage, vulnerability, and a willingness to communicate openly and honestly. By following these strategies and fostering a culture of mutual respect and understanding, you can create a relationship that is supportive, fulfilling, and enduring.

Are you head over heels for your girl, planning the big engagement, but still wondering if she’s “the one”? Finding the right person to spend your life with can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. Amidst the sea of possibilities, there are certain signs that can help guide you towards someone truly special. While romantic gestures and thoughtful actions certainly play a part, the ultimate litmus test lies in how she makes you feel.

How do you find out if she’s the one you’ve been wanting to tie the knot with?

Top marriage counselor and relationship expert in India Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains how.

Empathy

Finding “the one” involves recognizing someone who empathizes genuinely. She listens and understands your feelings without judgment. Her compassion and support during tough times show her commitment. Marrying her means having a partner who stands by you through thick and thin, making every challenge easier to face together.

She’s your best friend

Choosing a life partner is like embarking on a journey with a trusted companion, and finding that person who seamlessly fits into the role of your best friend can make all the difference. You can share your feelings with her comfortably. You don’t need to pretend. You can be yourself. Whatever happens, she’s always there for you. So, when you find that special someone who makes you feel at home, who makes you laugh until your stomach hurts, and who you can’t imagine facing life without, you’ll know that she’s the one you should marry. 

She always encourages you    

Marrying a woman who constantly encourages and supports you is a blessing beyond measure. Her unwavering belief in your abilities fuels your confidence and drive. Even in your darkest hours, she sees your potential and lifts you up with her boundless faith. With her by your side, you’re inspired to conquer any challenge, knowing she believes you’re capable of magic. She’s not just a partner; she’s your greatest ally and cheerleader.

Shared goals and values

Shared goals and values serve as the compass guiding you to the right partner for marriage. When your beliefs, priorities, and long-term aspirations align with hers, it signals compatibility and ensures a harmonious journey together. While differences add spice, fundamental agreements on family, career, and life goals lay the groundwork for a fulfilling relationship. Finding someone who complements your strengths while sharing your core values is the key to a lasting union.

You trust her

Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. If you can’t trust your partner, who will you talk to about your deepest feelings?  When you’re with someone trustworthy, you feel secure because you know they care about you. Whether it’s staying faithful or keeping their promises, a woman who is honest and dependable is someone you can imagine a future with.

When arguments are productive

When you’re able to have productive discussions, even during disagreements, it demonstrates a level of emotional intelligence and communication skills that are vital for a healthy relationship. It means you’re able to listen actively, express your own thoughts and feelings honestly, and find compromises that satisfy both parties.

Mutual respect is a must

Mutual respect in a relationship is a cornerstone of a healthy partnership. When your girl respects you as an individual, honors your boundaries, and treats you with kindness, it indicates a strong foundation for a lifelong commitment.  In her, you find not just a partner, but a soulmate worthy of a lifelong journey together.

She is independent

She is strong and independent, with a mind of her own. This quality assures you that she won’t simply follow the crowd but will stand by her beliefs. Her strength inspires you, and her independence assures you of mutual respect and space within the relationship. Knowing she can navigate life’s challenges independently gives you confidence in facing them together as a team.

These are just some of the essential qualities couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo highlights for finding the right partner. Ultimately, marrying someone who embodies empathy, friendship, encouragement, shared values, trust, effective communication, mutual respect, and independence ensures a fulfilling lifelong journey together.

Marriage is a commitment between two individuals to share their lives, support each other through thick and thin, and build a future together. Have you ever heard of someone saying they feel single at heart despite being married? It sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? However, it’s actually quite common for someone to feel single at heart even while being married. You might be wondering why! Leading marriage counselor in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo sheds light on the intricacies of the human psyche that contribute to this seemingly contradictory experience.

Can one still be single at heart despite being married?

Relationship expert and couples therapist Shivan Sadhoo shares insights on the same. Here they are?

1. Sense of Individuality remains untouched

 Marriage represents a legal and social agreement that unites two individuals, yet their inner sense of self remains distinct. Being single at heart within a marriage doesn’t signify dissatisfaction or a lack of commitment; instead, it’s about honoring one’s uniqueness within the marital bond. The journey of marriage brings together two individuals, each with their own personality, dreams, and aspirations. Despite the unity in marriage, one’s individual essence remains intact. People may feel “single at heart” when they desire moments of personal space and self-discovery.

2. The Feeling of Autonomy

Some people feel happiest when they have their own space and freedom, even if they’re married. They value doing things on their own and growing as individuals. It’s not that they don’t love their partners or avoid commitment in their relationship; it’s just part of who they are. They find joy in being alone sometimes and pursuing their own interests. Feeling “single at heart” means they can maintain their independence and take care of themselves emotionally, even while being married.

3. Living Apart Together

Living apart together is a trend where married couples choose to have their own homes instead of living together. It’s not because they have to, but because they want to. Some couples even live in the same house but have separate spaces. Research shows that even when couples live together, they may spend less time doing things together compared to the past. This doesn’t mean people want to be alone all the time.

What they’re really looking for is finding the right balance between being alone and being together. This search for balance is something that goes beyond marriage, age, or any other differences. It’s like having the freedom to be yourself without feeling like you always have to be with your partner. This independence can actually strengthen your relationship because it gives each person space to grow and pursue their interests.

4. When Reality Bites

When we think about marriage, we often have certain ideas about what it should be like. But sometimes, what we expect doesn’t match up with what actually happens. This difference between expectations and reality can make us feel disconnected like we’re missing out on the freedom we associate with being single. Society often tells us that when we get married, we’re supposed to become one with our partner, like we’re no longer individuals.

But that’s not always how it works. Each person still has their own dreams, desires, and way of looking at things. Feeling like you’re more single at heart when you’re married isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It means you value your independence and want to stay true to who you are, even in a relationship. It’s important for society to understand that marriage can mean different things to different people. We need to change the way we think about marriage so that everyone’s unique way of loving and finding fulfillment is respected and celebrated.

5. Communication Gap

When communication falters in marriage, partners may feel emotionally distant. This gives a feeling of being ‘single at heart’. This sensation suggests a need for nurturing the marital bond. By openly discussing personal desires and goals, couples can bridge this gap, promoting deeper understanding and connection.

Thus, we know that feeling “single at heart” within a marriage doesn’t imply dissatisfaction; it’s about preserving individuality, embracing autonomy, seeking balance, confronting reality, and addressing communication gaps.

Cultivating Positivity in Challenging Relationships Explains Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Relationships, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, are not immune to the trials and tribulations of life. Stress, disappointment, personal struggles – these are all ingredients in the complex recipe of human connection.

Yet, it’s how we weather these storms together that defines the strength of our relationships. When negativity threatens to cloud our judgment and dampen our spirits, it’s essential to remember that positivity is not just a fleeting emotion but a skill that can be cultivated and honed over time. Much like a muscle, it requires consistent effort and practice to develop resilience in the face of adversity.

How do we cultivate positivity amid challenging relationships?

Let’s hear what a leading marriage counsellor in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, has to say about this.

1. Think Positive

When faced with difficulties in relationships, it’s natural to dwell on the negative aspects and become consumed by frustration or disappointment. However, choosing to redirect your thoughts towards positivity can be transformative. It’s not about ignoring the challenges or pretending they don’t exist; instead, it’s about adopting a mindset that seeks solutions rather than dwelling on problems.

Positive thinking involves reframing your perspective. Instead of viewing obstacles as insurmountable barriers, consider them as opportunities for growth and learning. This shift in mindset can be a game-changer in relationships, as it opens the door to constructive communication and collaborative problem-solving.

2. Honest Communication

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. In the face of challenges, it becomes the bridge that connects individuals, facilitating a deeper understanding of each other’s perspectives, needs, and emotions.

Honesty, the raw material of this bridge, is the foundation upon which trust is built. When individuals can openly express their thoughts and feelings, they create an environment conducive to growth and resolution. Honest communication acts as a powerful antidote, dispelling the toxicity that can accumulate in the absence of dialogue.

3. Differences Aren’t Always Bad

One of the greatest obstacles we encounter in relationships is the expectation that others should think and behave like us. This expectation creates a barrier to genuine connection because it overlooks the beauty of diversity.

When we approach relationships with a mindset of uniformity, we miss out on the opportunity to learn from contrasting perspectives and experiences. We limit the scope of our understanding and growth. Embracing differences is not merely a virtue but a necessity in cultivating positivity in challenging relationships.

4. The Power Of Time

In the hustle and bustle of our modern lives, where time seems to slip through our fingers, cultivating positivity in relationships can be a challenging yet profoundly rewarding endeavor. Amidst the complexities of personal and professional connections, one powerful and often underestimated tool for nurturing positivity is the simple act of giving people your time.

By being truly present, actively engaged, and invested in the well-being of those around us, we create a ripple effect of positivity that transforms even the most challenging relationships into sources of strength and support. Time, when used wisely, has the remarkable ability to heal wounds, bridge gaps, and strengthen the bonds that tie us together.

5. Empathy

Empathy, often hailed as the cornerstone of meaningful relationships, possesses a remarkable ability to dissolve tension and pave the path toward resolution. At its core, empathy entails perceiving and relating to another person’s feelings and needs without resorting to blame, unsolicited advice, or attempts to fix the situation. It transcends mere understanding; it involves immersing oneself in the emotional landscape of another, forging a deep connection built on mutual understanding and trust.

6. Sweet Memories

Think of the good old times. Those moments when you laughed until your sides hurt when you felt like you were the only two people in the world when everything seemed right. Reminiscing about these memories isn’t just a stroll down memory lane; it’s a powerful tool for navigating the rough patches in a relationship.

When you focus on the good, you shift your perspective from dwelling on problems to seeking solutions. Instead of seeing your partner as the source of frustration, you see them as your ally, someone with whom you’ve shared countless beautiful moments and with whom you can create many more.

Now that you have read these tips, remember that cultivating positivity in challenging relationships requires a conscious shift in mindset, honest communication, embracing differences, investing time, practising empathy, and cherishing sweet memories. By adopting these strategies, you pave the way for growth, understanding, and lasting connections in your relationships.