Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Whether it is a simple disagreement about what a child can eat for dinner, what they can wear or how to discipline them, disagreement is inevitable when it comes to parenting.

Most couples experience this situation at one time or another. You as a  parent becomes rooted in our position. And what began as a problem between you and your child rapidly evolves into a problem between you and your spouse. You are no more parenting as a team.

There’s so much to do and discuss, and it’s rare that two people would agree completely. Instead of screaming and shouting, one should look to resolve issues smoothly the next time you find yourself in the middle of a heated argument.

In this article, Delhi based relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares tips to resolve parenting disagreements with your partner.

Avoid Broad Statements

There is a saying never say never. The saying also accurately fits for arguments. The thing about saying always and never is that it is rarely ever true. Using such words, broad language can create unnecessary drama and ultimately, damage. Instead, try using sentences like I have noticed that recently you have let him stay up later than I am comfortable with. Using milder language can promote a soft reaction and help you reach a peaceful agreement.

Stick To The Topic

There is a habit to bring up past issues and grievances during an argument that might have nothing to do with the disagreement at a given time. Focusing on the issue in question and trying to resolve that only instead of unearthing up the past will make it simpler to come to a resolution.

Give Space And Time To Process

Never go to bed angry, you might have heard this plenty of times.  Forget all of that. At times, sleeping on an issue or opting to walk away and discuss something at a later time allows you time and space to process your feelings and emotions. You could get up with a new, fresh approach that makes room for an easy solution.

Using “I”

Rather than placing the blame on your spouse and leading with statements like, you never do anything in the house or you are never available for the kids, try conveying with I really appreciate it when you do the laundry, or I like how you interact with the kids.

Understand That You Both Add Value

Each of you has different styles and strengths you bring to the table. Identify that you both have unique gifts to offer your child and play them up. If one of you has more patience at bedtime, make that partner as the official bedtime parent. If the other loves cooking, take benefit of that passion and allow your spouse to spend some time getting creative in the kitchen.

Healthy and strong relationships depend on balance, honesty, and communication to work. And it is not always easy. There are bumps and detours we must navigate, but we have to do it together.

When a person starts to distance oneself from their partner, despite how much care and love the other person puts into the relationship, it simply means that they are no longer interested.

Maybe you are thinking.  They will come back, or it’s just a phase they’re going through. You cannot take responsibility for someone else’s conduct, and you cannot put your life on hold while they weigh the options.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talk about signs your partner is not interested in you.

They Prioritize Others But Treat You As An Option

Being in a relationship involves spending time with one another, and it should not feel like you have to force someone to do it. If your partner is constantly too busy or has other things to look after then they are not prioritizing you in their life. They are treating you as an option and this is certainly a bad sign.

They Are Self Centric And Only Seem Interested When They Want Something From You

When a partner who is no more interested will try to be absent for most of the relationship, but you will see them pop up more frequently when they need something from you. Maybe they want a ride to work this week, or they are over-scheduled and need you to cover for them. Whatever it may, you would be able to spot their manipulative ways from a distance. How is that? Well, their fake affection and phony smile will give them away every time.

Communication Breaks Down And They Do Not Try To Resolve It

Most people in a healthy relationship would not enjoy it if they are not able to communicate with their partner. But, those who are not interested in sticking around any longer do not seem to mind as much. If your partners stop calling, texting, asking how your day was spent, or even trying to make a conversation, they are possibly ready to move on.

If They Decide To Talk, It Is Always About Themselves

Nothing really interests a person who is ready to end a relationship, except themselves. They are their main topic of choice because just be honest, it is not like they are spending any second thinking about you.

When Something Goes Wrong, You Are The One Who Is To Be Blamed

Even if everything is fine, you will still, get blamed. It is an abusive tactic used by your partner to control and manipulate you, and if it is happening, just leave.

They Say Derogatory and Hurtful Things Intentionally

If your partner is disinterested in continuing a relationship but they have been too cowardly to admit it, they will begin to disrespect you. Whether you two are alone in the privacy of your house, or with friends in public, they will say things that are aimed to hurt you. Do not let them get to you- their ugliness is their concern, not yours.

ReplyForward

We all love our parents. It is very good quality. In fact, if we are incapable of loving our parents then we are not supposed to be called human.

Loving one’s mother is a divine characteristic. But treating others in a bad manner is an inhuman quality. If your husband loves his mother, then you do not need to find any fault with it. But during this process, if he insults you or makes things uncomfortable for you to live with him, then it is up to you about how you resolve it.

If you remain silent, a lifetime of suffering could afflict. If you deal with it hurriedly, chances are you could be misunderstood by your husband. So find a better way of resolving the issue.

In this article, Delhi’s top marriage Counselor and Relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about signs your husband is a mama’s boy.

He Cannot Take Any Decision Without Mom’s Help

As an independent woman, you have a mind and thinking of your own. So, you have decision-making abilities but you are surprised to see your husband consulting his mom for every minor or major decision. That bothers you a bit. This is one of the initials signs that your husband is a mama’s boy.

He Never Supports You When His Mother Shouts At You

He thinks his mother is always correct. So, when his mom shouts at you for any reason, he prefers to remain a silent spectator.

He Asks You To Be Like His Mother

This appears funny to you. But he asks you to dress up, cook and behave like his mom, and worship his mom. His mom is a role model to him and he expects an ideal woman has to be like her.

Your Husband Spends More Time Talking To His Mom

When your husband’s mom is out of town for a few days, he spends most of his time talking to her over the phone. And also, sometimes complains to her over the phone that you do not cook like her.

He Seeks Her Permission Even To plan A Family 

That looks absurd but it is true that he seeks his mom’s approval before planning to expand his family.

He Shares All Your Secrets To His Mom

You trust your husband completely and tell him everything about your life and past. And, he discloses them to his mom. She begins to suspect you and starts ill-treating you.

When You Are On A Holiday

When you are on a holiday, you tend to spend some time with your husband in a lonely spot and slowly try to kindle his passion. He suddenly takes out his phone, calls his mom and says “Mama, I miss you! You could have come with us” and weeps for a moment.

P.S. Well, there is nothing wrong if your husband loves his mom. Let him love his mom. But if his love bothers you, then you can voice out your opinion and try to get a solution.