Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Modern dating has become faster, more intense, and emotionally charged. While deep conversations and big promises may feel exciting early on, not all future-focused talk comes from genuine intentions. One increasingly common toxic dating pattern is future faking—a behaviour that creates emotional attachment through promises that are never meant to be kept. Understanding this pattern is essential to protect your emotional well-being and make healthier relationship choices, explains Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is a top couples and relationship therapist in India.

What Is the Future Faking in a Relationship?

Future faking in a relationship refers to when someone talks extensively about a shared future—marriage, moving in together, children, travel plans, or long-term commitment—without having any real intention of following through. These promises are often used to gain trust, speed up emotional intimacy, or keep a partner invested, especially when the relationship lacks consistent actions.

Future faking is not the same as hopeful planning or normal relationship discussions. The key difference lies in behaviour. In healthy relationships, future plans are supported by consistent effort, accountability, and emotional availability. In future faking, words are big, but actions are minimal or absent.

Why Future Faking Is Toxic?

Future faking can be emotionally damaging because it creates false hope. The person on the receiving end may invest time, energy, and emotional vulnerability based on promises that never materialise. Over time, this leads to confusion, self-doubt, anxiety, and emotional dependency. It is often seen in narcissistic or emotionally unavailable partners, though not exclusively.

5 Signs to Spot Future Faking in Dating

1. Big Promises Very Early

One of the clearest signs of future faking is intense future talk at an early stage of dating. Statements like “You’re the one,” “I want to marry you,” or “I see my whole life with you” within weeks can feel flattering, but they often lack a realistic foundation. Genuine connection takes time to build; rushed promises are a red flag.

2. Words Don’t Match Actions

A future faker may talk about commitment but avoid taking real steps—meeting family, defining the relationship, or making consistent plans. They might promise trips, moving in together, or engagement, yet constantly delay or change the topic when action is required. This gap between words and behaviour is a core indicator.

3. Promises Appear During Conflict

Future faking often intensifies when the relationship is at risk. If every argument is followed by grand promises—“We’ll be happy soon,” “I’ll change,” “Our future will be amazing”—but nothing actually improves, it’s likely being used as a control tactic to prevent you from leaving.

4. Vague or Shifting Timelines

Another sign of future faking in relationships is unclear timelines. Plans are always “someday,” “soon,” or “when things settle down.” When you ask for clarity, the answers remain evasive. Healthy partners can discuss realistic timelines, even if they are flexible.

5. You Feel Confused, Not Secure

Perhaps the most important sign is how the relationship makes you feel. Future faking creates emotional highs followed by disappointment. Instead of feeling secure and grounded, you feel anxious, uncertain, and constantly waiting for the future to begin. A healthy relationship provides stability, not emotional whiplash.

How to Protect Yourself?

To avoid falling into a future faking pattern, focus less on promises and more on consistent behavior. Observe whether actions align with words over time. Set boundaries, ask clear questions, and trust patterns—not potential. If someone truly wants a future with you, their effort will be visible without needing constant reassurance.

Future faking in relationships can be subtle, charming, and deeply misleading. While talking about the future is natural, it should always be supported by present-day commitment. Recognizing the signs early can save you from emotional exhaustion and help you choose partners who offer real connection, not just beautiful words.

In today’s digital dating and relationship landscape, mixed signals have become almost normal. One day, you receive sweet messages or compliments, and the next day, there is silence. This confusing pattern often leaves people wondering whether someone is genuinely interested or merely using them for attention. This is where the concept of breadcrumbing comes in. Understanding the difference between breadcrumbing and genuine interest is essential for protecting your emotional well-being and building healthy connections, according to Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of Delhi’s top relationship and marriage counsellors.

What Is Breadcrumbing?

Breadcrumbing is a relationship behaviour where a person gives you small, inconsistent bits of attention to keep you emotionally invested, without any real intention of committing or moving the relationship forward. The term comes from the idea of leaving “breadcrumbs” — just enough to keep you following, but never enough to satisfy your needs.

This behaviour is common in dating apps, friendships, and even workplace or social relationships. A breadcrumber may send occasional texts, react to your social media posts, or check in randomly, especially when they sense you are pulling away. However, they avoid deeper conversations, plans, or emotional availability.

How Does Breadcrumbing Typically Look?

Breadcrumbing often follows a predictable pattern. The person may:

• Text or call only when it suits them
• Disappear for days or weeks without explanation
• Avoid making concrete plans or cancel them repeatedly
• Offer vague promises like “we’ll meet soon” without action
• Show interest only when you seem less available

The key characteristic is inconsistency. Their attention comes in waves, leaving you confused and constantly waiting for more.

Why People Breadcrumb?

People breadcrumbs for different reasons. Some enjoy the validation and ego boost of knowing someone is interested in them. Others may be emotionally unavailable, afraid of commitment, or keeping multiple options open. In some cases, they may not even realise the emotional impact of their behaviour, but that does not make it any less harmful.

Breadcrumbing allows the other person to stay in control while investing minimal effort.

What Genuine Interest Looks Like?

Genuine interest, on the other hand, feels very different. It is consistent, respectful, and reassuring. Someone who is genuinely interested in you makes an effort to be part of your life, not just an occasional presence in it.

Signs of genuine interest include:

• Regular and consistent communication
• Making and following through on plans
• Showing curiosity about your life, feelings, and goals
• Being emotionally present and responsive
• Clear intentions rather than vague promises

With genuine interest, you are not left guessing. Even if the relationship is moving slowly, the effort and direction are clear.

Key Differences Between Breadcrumbing and Genuine Interest

Understanding the contrast between breadcrumbing and genuine interest becomes much easier when you look at specific behaviours. Below are clear, real-life examples that highlight how the two differ.

1. Communication Style

Breadcrumbing: Communication is sporadic and unpredictable. You may receive a sudden “Hey, what’s up?” after days of silence, with no real conversation or follow-up. Messages often lack depth and disappear once they have your attention.

Genuine Interest: Communication is consistent and intentional. Even during busy periods, the person makes an effort to check in, explain delays, and maintain a sense of connection.

2. Effort and Follow-Through

Breadcrumbing: Plans are vague and frequently postponed. Statements like “Let’s meet someday” or “We should catch up soon” are repeated but never acted upon.

Genuine Interest: Plans are specific and honored. If something comes up, they reschedule rather than disappear, showing that spending time with you matters.

3. Emotional Availability

Breadcrumbing: Emotional depth is avoided. Conversations stay light or surface-level, especially when you try to discuss feelings, expectations, or the future.

Genuine Interest: Emotional openness is present. The person listens, shares their thoughts, and is willing to have honest conversations, even if they feel uncomfortable at times.

4. Accountability and Respect

Breadcrumbing: Disappearances go unexplained. When questioned, the person may deflect, minimise your feelings, or suggest you are overreacting.

Genuine Interest: Accountability is taken seriously. They acknowledge mistakes, apologise when needed, and make changes to avoid repeating the same behaviour.

5. Impact on Your Emotional Well-Being

Breadcrumbing: You often feel anxious, confused, or insecure, constantly questioning where you stand.

Genuine Interest: You feel calm, valued, and secure, knowing where you stand even if the relationship is still developing.

6. Long-Term Intentions

Breadcrumbing: There is no clear direction. The connection remains stuck in the same place with no progress over time.

Genuine Interest: There is forward movement. The person expresses intentions through actions, showing a desire to grow the relationship naturally.

These differences make it clear that genuine interest provides clarity and emotional safety, while breadcrumbing thrives on uncertainty and minimal effort.

How to Protect Yourself?

The best way to deal with breadcrumbing is to set clear boundaries. Notice patterns instead of excuses. Communicate your expectations calmly and observe how the other person responds. Genuine interest will meet your clarity with respect, while breadcrumbing often fades or becomes defensive when confronted.

Remember, consistency is more important than intensity. Someone who truly cares will show up in actions, not just words.

Breadcrumbing and genuine interest can look similar at first, but over time, their differences become clear. You deserve relationships where effort matches words and interest is shown through consistency. Trust patterns, trust your feelings, and do not settle for crumbs when you deserve a full connection.

Infidelity is one of the most emotionally disruptive experiences in a relationship. It shakes trust, raises painful questions, and often leaves the faithful partner struggling to understand what went wrong. Conversations around infidelity tend to be emotionally charged and, at times, filled with stereotypes. However, approaching the topic with balance and emotional maturity is essential.

Understanding potential red flags does not mean jumping to conclusions; it means becoming more aware of changes that may signal deeper relationship issues. This article explores female infidelity in a thoughtful, respectful manner, focusing on awareness rather than accusation, as shared by Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is one of the top marriage counsellors in Delhi and India.

What Is Infidelity?

Infidelity is not limited to physical intimacy outside a committed relationship. It can also take emotional and digital forms. Emotional infidelity occurs when a person forms a deep emotional connection with someone else, sharing intimacy, secrets, or emotional reliance that should belong within the primary relationship. Digital infidelity may involve secretive online conversations, explicit messaging, or maintaining hidden social media connections. What defines infidelity ultimately depends on the boundaries agreed upon by the couple, but at its core, it involves betrayal of trust and emotional commitment.

Why Do Women Commit Infidelity?

Women, like men, do not engage in infidelity without underlying reasons. Contrary to popular belief, female infidelity is often less about physical desire and more about emotional dissatisfaction. Feeling emotionally neglected, unheard, or undervalued in a relationship can create vulnerability. When communication weakens or emotional intimacy fades, some women seek validation and connection elsewhere.

Another common factor is unmet personal needs. This may include a lack of appreciation, affection, or companionship over time. Major life transitions such as motherhood, career changes, or personal identity struggles can also contribute, especially if emotional support is missing. In some cases, unresolved conflicts, long-standing resentment, or a sense of loneliness within the relationship play a significant role. Infidelity is rarely impulsive; it often grows from prolonged emotional disconnect.

Red flags for female infidelity to watch for are:

Emotional distance

One noticeable red flag can be emotional withdrawal. A partner who was once open and communicative may become distant, guarded, or uninterested in sharing daily experiences. Conversations may feel superficial, and attempts at emotional closeness may be brushed aside without explanation.

Communication pattern

Changes in communication patterns are also common. Increased secrecy around phone usage, sudden password changes, or defensiveness when questioned about messages can signal hidden interactions. While privacy is healthy, secrecy combined with behavioural shifts may indicate something more.

Priorities shifting

A shift in routine or priorities can also raise concern. Spending excessive time away from home without clear explanations, sudden changes in work schedules, or increased social commitments that exclude the partner may point toward emotional or physical involvement elsewhere.

Comparison

Emotional comparison is another subtle sign. If a woman frequently criticises her partner or compares him unfavorably to others, it may reflect emotional detachment. This often accompanies a loss of respect or admiration, which are crucial pillars of fidelity.

Drop in intimacy

Changes in intimacy can also be telling. A sudden decline in physical affection, avoidance of closeness, or disinterest in shared intimacy without an identifiable cause may reflect emotional disengagement. Conversely, in some cases, a sudden increase in affection can occur due to guilt or internal conflict.

Defensiveness

Finally, heightened defensiveness or irritability may appear. Simple questions may trigger disproportionate anger, or discussions about the relationship may be avoided entirely. This emotional volatility often stems from inner conflict and fear of exposure.

It is important to stress that these signs do not confirm infidelity on their own. Stress, mental health challenges, personal growth, or external pressures can produce similar behaviours. The goal of recognising red flags is not to police a partner but to prompt honest communication.

Healthy relationships are built on trust, transparency, and emotional safety. If concerns arise, addressing them calmly and respectfully is far more constructive than suspicion or confrontation. Open dialogue can uncover unmet needs, repair emotional distance, and, in many cases, prevent further damage.

Female infidelity, like any form of betrayal, is complex and deeply rooted in emotional dynamics rather than simple temptation. Recognising potential red flags helps partners become more emotionally aware, not more suspicious. Instead of focusing solely on signs, couples benefit most from nurturing emotional connection, practising honest communication, and addressing dissatisfaction early. Awareness should always lead to understanding, not assumption, because trust is preserved not by fear, but by connection.

If you have just gotten used to some of the strangest dating terms like ChemRIZZtry, Curveball-crushing, Love-loreing, and Truecasting, then gear up for another one. This new term draws inspiration from the world of penguins and is winning hearts everywhere.

It’s called Pebbling. Yes, the name sounds cute—and the concept is even cuter. If you’re wondering how pebbling got its name and why it is becoming one of the most popular dating trends today, shares Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is one of the most experienced couples therapists and relationship counsellors in Delhi and India.

What is Pebbling?

Did you know that penguins woo their potential partners with pebbles? Sounds strange! Well, it is a cute way of expressing love, I would say. The male penguins quite meticulously select the perfect pebble to impress their significant other. We humans, couldn’t help but borrow this charming idea of expressing affection through small, thoughtful gestures-because sometimes it is the simplest tokens that carry the most meaning.

Ways We Do It

Humans have found novel ways of dating their partners. Pebbling can be used in digital as well as physical modes. Let’s see how:

Physical pebbling

Gifting meaningful keepsakes

Offering someone a small item picked up during a trip—something that immediately reminded you of them—is a deeply intentional act. It’s not about cost or grandeur, but recognition. The object becomes a stand-in for the moment you paused, thought of them, and chose to bring a piece of that experience back. It tells them they occupy space in your mind even when they’re not physically present.

Handwritten notes filled with emotion

A handwritten note carries a kind of intimacy that can’t be replicated. Each word reflects time, care, and vulnerability. The imperfections—the slant of the handwriting, the pauses between lines—make it human. These notes endure, becoming something the recipient can return to whenever they need comfort, reassurance, or a reminder of being loved.

Bringing baked goods

Baking for someone is a quiet labour of affection. It involves effort, patience, and the desire to give something made by hand. More than food, it’s an offering of warmth and nurture. Sharing something homemade says, I wanted to create comfort for you.

Gifting a thoughtfully chosen book

Choosing a book for someone requires attention. Whether it’s a novel you believe they’ll get lost in or a subject aligned with their interests, it shows that you understand how their mind works. A book becomes a companion, and gifting one says, I see what inspires you, and I want to share that with you.

Sending fresh flowers

Flowers chosen with intention—because they reflect a favourite scent, colour, or mood—become sensory expressions of care. They brighten spaces, linger in memory, and offer a quiet reminder that someone was thinking of them. Even after they fade, the sentiment remains.

Planning a surprise coffee date

A surprise coffee date may seem simple, but it’s deeply personal. It’s about carving out time, creating closeness, and turning the ordinary into something meaningful. These moments, though unassuming, often become the most cherished.

Digital pebbling

Sharing music with intention

Sending someone a song is a deeply intimate act. Each track is chosen for how it feels, what it recalls, or what it quietly communicates. Music becomes emotional shorthand—a way to express affection, longing, or understanding when words fall short.

Using emojis to express emotion

Emojis may be small, but they can carry immense emotional weight. A single symbol can soften a message, convey warmth, or express feelings too tender to spell out. In their simplicity, they often speak more honestly than words.

Sending articles, news, or recommendations

Sharing content tied to a shared interest or something the recipient is passionate about shows attentiveness. It’s a way of saying, I pay attention to what matters to you, even in passing moments.

Tagging and interacting online

Tagging someone in a post that reflects an inside joke or shared sentiment is a modern form of connection. It’s playful, public yet personal, and rooted in shared understanding. These small interactions reinforce bonds in subtle but meaningful ways.

Pros of Pebbling

1. Strengthens Introverted Relationships

Pebbling helps introverted relationships grow because it offers connection without pressure. For introverts, long conversations or constant interaction can feel draining, even with people they care about. Pebbling—sharing small messages, links, photos, or thoughts—creates a gentle way to stay close.

It gives just enough interaction to feel seen and understood, without becoming overwhelming. Since there’s no need to reply right away, both people can engage when they feel ready and emotionally available. This slow, flexible exchange builds warmth and trust over time, letting relationships bloom naturally and comfortably.

2. Security Matters

When partners practise pebbling—those small, thoughtful gestures that say “I’m thinking of you”—it quietly builds a deep sense of security in the relationship. Over time, these little acts add up, reassuring each person that they matter and that the bond is steady, not fragile. When you know your partner is reliably attentive and emotionally present, doubts lose their sharp edge and uncertainty doesn’t get much room to grow.

This feeling of safety makes it easier to lower one’s guard, to speak honestly about fears, needs, and imperfections without worrying about judgment or withdrawal. In such an atmosphere, conversations become kinder and conflicts less threatening, because both partners are anchored in the belief that they are on the same side. Pebbling, in its gentle way, turns everyday care into a strong foundation for trust, openness, and healthier ways of working through disagreements together.

3. Keeps The Romance Alive

When you first meet someone and sparks fly, everything feels electric—those butterflies, that slightly unreal happiness—but as time passes, that intensity naturally softens. The so-called honeymoon phase fades, not because love disappears, but because life settles in. This is where pebbling quietly works its magic. Pebbling is about those small, thoughtful gestures that say I see you—a note slipped onto the fridge, a song shared for no reason, a favourite snack brought home unexpectedly.

These acts may seem simple, almost insignificant, yet they carry a gentle power. They keep surprise alive, nurture warmth, and remind both partners that affection doesn’t need grand declarations to feel profound. Especially in moments of loneliness or when doubts creep in and fears of drifting apart arise, pebbling rekindles emotional closeness. It reassures, without drama, that love is still present—steady, attentive, and deeply felt—woven into the everyday fabric of the relationship.

4. Stressbuster

Life can get relentlessly hectic, and when pressures pile up, they have a way of seeping into our closest relationships. This is where pebbling comes in, quietly and kindly. Pebbling—those small, thoughtful gestures or gentle words—acts like a pause button on stress. A warm message, a shared joke, a cup of tea placed without being asked: these modest acts ease tension and remind two people that they are seen and cared for.

Over time, such moments build an emotional cushion, making love feel steadier and more secure. Couples who practice pebbling often find that disagreements lose their sharp edges; patience comes more easily, empathy flows more freely, and conflicts are approached not as battles to be won but as conversations to be resolved. In its unassuming way, pebbling restores calm, reinforces connection, and helps love endure the daily wear and tear of life.

Cons of Pebbling

• Pebbling can replace real communication by keeping things light while avoiding deeper conversations.
• It can create mismatched expectations when one person reads more meaning into it than the other.
• It can start to feel like pressure when replying becomes an unspoken obligation.
• It can mask low effort by substituting memes for actual follow-through.
• It can trigger attachment issues if one person overthinks while the other feels overwhelmed.
• It can stall progress by keeping the connection indirect and undefined.

In a nutshell, pebbling is about showing love through small, thoughtful gestures that build closeness, security, and warmth. When done mindfully, it keeps romance alive and reduces stress. But balance matters—pebbling should support, not replace, honest communication and genuine effort in relationships.

In a world where relationship labels are becoming more fluid, it’s easy to feel confused about the nature of your bond with someone. You may feel deeply connected to a person — emotionally safe, truly understood — yet there’s no romantic or sexual involvement. Is it just friendship, or something more meaningful, yet still non-romantic? That’s where the concept of a platonic relationship comes in. Understanding this can help you navigate your feelings and define your relationship better, as explained by eminent relationship and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo here.

What is a Platonic Relationship?

A platonic relationship is an emotionally close connection between two people that is not based on physical or romantic attraction. The term comes from the ideas of the Greek philosopher Plato, who believed that the highest form of love transcends physical desire and is rooted in mutual respect, intellectual connection, and deep emotional bonding.

This kind of relationship can exist between any two people, regardless of gender or orientation, and is defined by care, trust, and emotional intimacy without the complexities of romance or sexual tension.

Platonic Relationship vs. Friendship: What’s the Difference?

At first glance, platonic relationships and friendships may seem similar. Both involve companionship, trust, and shared moments. However, platonic bonds tend to carry more emotional weight and consistency than regular friendships.

In a typical friendship, people may connect based on shared activities, environments, or interests. These connections can be casual, and while trust exists, the emotional depth may not always run very deep. Friendships can fade over time as circumstances change.

A platonic relationship, however, tends to hold stronger emotional significance. You may find yourself turning to that person for life advice, sharing your innermost thoughts, or relying on them during difficult times. There’s often a level of priority given to this bond, even if it’s never romantic. It’s like having a life partner — just without the romance.

How to Identify if It’s Platonic or Just Friendship?

If you’re unsure which category your relationship falls into, consider the emotional dynamics. Do you feel emotionally safe and fully yourself around this person? Are they the first one you think of when you’re going through something important, good or bad? Do you value their presence in your life regardless of circumstances, and does the bond remain strong even without constant communication?

Also, notice if there’s mutual clarity. Platonic relationships often involve a silent understanding that the connection is deep and meaningful, but not romantic. There’s no hidden agenda, no mixed signals, and no pressure to turn it into something else.

Can Platonic Relationships Evolve Into Romance?

They can, but not always. Sometimes emotional closeness can lay the foundation for romantic feelings, especially if both people begin to see each other in a new light. However, many platonic relationships remain beautifully non-romantic throughout life, offering emotional nourishment without any complications.

If feelings do change on either side, honest communication becomes key. Ignoring shifting emotions can lead to confusion, distance, or even the end of the bond.

Platonic relationships are often underrated, yet they can be some of the most fulfilling connections in life. If you’re lucky enough to have someone who supports you emotionally, respects your boundaries, and remains consistently present, without any romantic strings, then you’re experiencing the rare beauty of platonic love. Understanding and honouring this kind of bond can enrich your emotional well-being and add a layer of stability and depth to your life that few relationships can offer.

Personal boundaries are the “limits” that a person needs in his/her life and relationship, to dictate to other people how they should treat and behave with them and what they can expect from them. Unfortunately, a lot of people set poor personal boundaries and suffer, day and night in their friendship, professions, and relationships.

The problem lies in the fact that as toddlers and children, society teaches us to say “Yes” to elders, be it in school or at home. Society at large appreciates obedience and does not encourage kids and teenagers to ask questions, which in fact is the foundation of a free mind, self-belief, and bravery.

The problem starts when this obedient child, grows-ups and enters the throat-cutting competitive world, find himself/herself in a group of peers, or finds a partner with poor morals and weak self-belief, and fails to say “NO” against emotional, psychological, and materialistic worldly exploitations.

In today’s blog, India’s eminent psychologist and couples therapist Shivani Sadhoo signs that can help you identify if you are suffering in your life due to poor personal boundaries.

What are the signs that show that you might be suffering due to poor personal boundaries?

1. You completely hate it when you let others down

It means that you mostly go along with the other person’s plans and say yes to all the things you wouldn’t normally choose to do, and possibly do not want to do. Joining added committees, agreeing to visit restaurants where you know you will not be able to avail anything for your kid’s health restrictions on the menu, opting to go along with a messy schedule at work in an attempt to accommodate your boss’ new whim.

2. You are continuously tired and don’t even know the reason

And every mother said, “Yes” Though it is completely different from “mom-tired,” it is incredibly common. It occurs as you are giving all your energy away by continuously tending to everyone else’s wishes and needs and putting your own interest on the shelf.

3. You feel like how other person feels is solely up to you

You always worry whether they are having a good time and feeling good. You go beyond your limits to make certain this is the case. It means you feel guilty and anxious quite regularly. You seldom feel settled because there is always going to be an individual who is upset or a blame to put out. And you ought to be the one to do it.

4. It’s simple for others to take advantage of you

It’s simply for others to take advantage of you. You are pretty certain that is not what you agreed to, but you would rather not say anything. And they also, know you won’t either. You might even wonder if you are being manipulated by those who are actually closest to you.

5. Deep within you think no one respects you

This is perhaps because you have been pushed over far too many times, so they never think they need to.

6. It is too difficult for you to take and make decisions on the basis of your own needs

You are not able to take any stand for yourself because you feel what others want or will feel.  Eventually, when you truly decide for yourself, you find it overwhelming or exhausting.

7. You are not certain who you are or what you like

Perhaps you may feel like having an identity crisis. You do not know what you prefer or love. How it feels to make a decision on your own interests. Rather you are preoccupied with what others want you to do.

Stay tuned to Saarthi’s blog because we will be posting soon the article by Shivani Misri Sadhoo on ways one can set their personal boundaries correctly.