Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Coronavirus has pushed the world into uncertainty and the continuous news about the pandemic can seem relentless. All of this is taking its toll on the majority of people’s mental health, especially those already living with conditions such as anxiety and OCD. The question arises how can you protect your mental health?

Being concerned or worried about the news is acceptable, but for several people, it can make existing mental health problems even worse.

Today, Delhi based Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells how you can protect your mental health and be prepared during this pandemic.

The fear of getting out of control and unable to bear the uncertainty are common characteristics of several anxiety disorders. So, it is understandable that various people with pre-existing anxiety are having challenges at the moment.

Plenty of anxiety is rooted in worrying regarding the unknown and waiting for something to happen, coronavirus is that phenomena

So the question remains how can one protects his/her mental health? Take a look at some of the most important things that one needs to follow not just if one has anxiety or OCD related problems but for general people as well.

Restrict The News And Be Cautious What You Read

Reading and listening to plenty of news about coronavirus has the potential to led to panic attacks for some.

When one is feeling anxious his/her thoughts could spiral out of control and one starts thinking about disastrous outcomes. One usually, is worried about his parents, family, and people he knows.

Normally when one suffers one can get away from a situation. But this situation seems beyond control.

Having considerable time spending away from the news, websites and social media can help one to manage their anxiety.

• Restrict the duration of time you spend reading or watching things that are not making you feel better. If possible, decide on a particular time to check in with the news
• There are plenty of wrong information moving around stay well informed by sticking to trusted and authenticate sources of information like government websites.

Take Break From Social Media And Mute Notifications

Some people have health anxiety and feel necessary to stay informed and find out the subject. But at the same time, they know that social media can be a trigger.

One randomly clicks on a link or hashtag and sees all kind of unverified content and it could make some really anxious and indecisive.

Now one needs to be extremely careful about which profiles or links he/she checks and avoid clicking on coronavirus related materials. Trying listening to songs or reading books instead of using social media.

• Mute or unfollow news, contents that could be triggering on any social media platform you are using.
• Mute or exit WhatsApp groups if you find them too bothersome.

Stay Connected With People

The number of people in self-isolation may increase so it could be a good time to ensure you have the right contact numbers and email addresses of the people, you care about the most.

If you are in lockdown the feel connected to the people around you.

• If you are self-isolating, have a balance between maintaining a routine and making sure every day has some variety.
• It may end up actually seeming like quite a productive number of days or weeks. You can work regarding your important tasks or read a book that you were not able to do it until now.

Clean And Wash Your Hand But Not Exorbitantly

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) people might be seen in the increase in assistance requests from people whose fears have become centered on the coronavirus pandemic.

For individuals having OCD and some form of anxiety, being consistently told to wash your hands can be particularly difficult to hear.

People living with the fear of contamination is one aspect of having OCD. The constant advice or reminders about handwashing can be a big trigger for people who have recovered.

It is quite difficult because one has to do some of the behaviors that he/she has been avoiding.

The matter is to look out for is the function, for instance, is the washing being carried out for the suggested amount of time to decrease the risk of spreading the virus or it is simply being done ritualistically in a particular order to feel simply well?

• People with OCD, getting normal means being able to leave the premises, so self-isolating can pose another challenge.
• If one is forced to stay at home, one has lots of time on their hands, monotony and boredom can make OCD worse.

Prevent Burnout

It might be possible that there will be several weeks and months of the coronavirus pandemic ahead, it is vital to have downtime. Be mindful, continue to access nature and sunlight whenever possible. Do physical activities, eat healthily and stay hydrated. Practice the following things.

Accept: Observe and acknowledge the uncertainty when it comes to mind.

Halt: Do not react as you usually do. Do not react at all. Halt and breathe.

Withdraw: Tell yourself this is simply the worry talking, and this obvious need for certainty is not supporting and not necessary. It is just a thought or feeling. Do not believe everything you think. Thoughts are never a statement or realities.

Let Free: Let free your thought or feeling. It will pass. You do not have to respond to them. You could imagine them floating away in the form of a cloud or bubble.

Search: Observe or search the present moment, because presently, at this moment, all is fine. Check your breathing and the sensations of it. Look the ground beneath you. Look around and observe what you see, hear, touch, and smell currently. Then shift your center of attention to something else on what you require to do, on what you were doing previously prior you noticed the worry, or do something different mindfully with your total concentration.

There are several clear signs of obsession that you must definitely be aware of. Whether you are obsessed about someone or someone else is obsessed about you, it is essential that you know about these signs. Being in love can be wonderful, but it is completely different from obsession.

When you know about some of the common signs of obsession, you can provide yourself a bit of a reality check. Obsession is never good nor healthy, and the quicker you find out whether or not you have a concern with it the better off you will be.

Delhi based Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about signs of obsessive love that one should not ignore.

Something Seems Not Quite Right

One of the most basic signs of obsession is that something just does not seems right. Deep down you know that your feelings are not healthy, and you need to put an end to it. Listen to your instincts, because they will eventually end up being your salvation.

No Time For Yourself

If you are obsessed about someone else, you never want to spend a moment away from them. Those who are obsessed with others do not value alone time because they simply want to spend every waking moment with the object or person of their affection. If someone is obsessed with you, they perhaps would not ever want to let you go out of their sight. Anyway, this is not part of a healthy relationship.

Excessive Jealousy

There is no way that an individual can be obsessed with someone without being extremely jealous as well. Do you see yourself repeatedly getting jealous of even the slightest affection that others show towards your significant other? Jealousy tends to be a big problem when there is an obsession within a relationship. A little jealousy every once in a while is quite normal, but it can rapidly become a problem for those who are obsessed with the person they are with.

Total Lack Of Privacy

Obsession mostly leads to suspicion and a wretched lack of privacy. Does the individual you are with a demand to have all the passwords of your social media and email accounts? If so, there is a high chance that they are fully and utterly obsessed with you. Everyone needs a specific amount of privacy, even in a relationship. Privacy does not equal to secrecy, and it is important that you understand this.

They Move Too Fast

If with someone you have only been out only a few times and says they love you, consider it as a major red flag. You do not want to get into a serious relationship with anyone who moves this fast, because the probability is, they are already obsessed.

Constantly Keeps On Checking You

If you cannot go out with friends or colleagues without the person ringing up your phone, they are probably obsessed with you. You must not have to pay the person continuous attention no matter where you are.

Threaten You

If you are being threatened in any means by the person you are seeing, it is a matter of obsession, not love. You must take any threats the person makes quite seriously, because otherwise, you may end up in a very complex situation.

Some people have one or more phobias, with women slightly more prone to develop one than men. One of the most common phobias across the globe is arachnophobia, an attenuate fear of spiders as per psychology. In this article, Delhi based Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the fear of Arachnophobia and how to come out of it?

Definition Of Arachnophobia

Arachnophobia derives from the Greek word for spider, that is Arachne and Phobos the Greek word used for fear. This extreme fear of spiders and other 8-legged arachnids such as the (scorpions) could actually be an evolutionary response: spiders, especially the poisonous ones have long been associated with illness and infections.

You might know several species of spiders are poisonous and bite, and you know this from pure experience, science, biology, television, movies and seeing other people get bitten. Thus, when one sees a spider nearby a natural response is to feel feared and avoid the spider.

In several people, the fear of spiders evoke a disgust response, People with high-grade arachnophobia have such a high aversion to spiders that they might be afraid to go into their basement or garage since a spider may be present. If they face a spider, they might actually leave the house rather than to deal with it.

When it creates such anxiety that it prevents one from taking part in activities that one wants or need to do, or manifests itself in a manner that it can be physically and mentally disturbing you know your fear of spiders has become irrational.

Causes

Just like other phobias, arachnophobia can develop in a person because he sees the reaction to spiders of others with the phobia. For them, it is a learned response it makes an impact when they see a family member scream in terror and run out of the room at the very sight of a cobweb. It is theorized that a fear of spiders is impacted by one’s cultural background. In specific parts of Africa, large spiders are feared, but in South Africa, spiders are eaten, people could be unafraid of them. If you have had a frightening experience involving a spider, such as a spider bite, chances are that one will be more likely to develop arachnophobia.

Symptoms

Symptoms related to arachnophobia may occur initially in childhood or adolescence. It can also happen to an adult. These are the following symptoms:

·         Dizziness

·         Trembling and sweatiness

·         Feelings of losing control

·         Rapid heartbeats

·         Hot and cold flashes

·         Chest pain

·         Feeling of choking

·         Nausea and other gastrointestinal distress

Treatments

Mostly, a combination of counseling and medication can be used to treat arachnophobia. Relaxation methods such as meditation also can be quite helpful in the treatment of arachnophobia.

As in other phobias, arachnophobia can also be treated with exposure therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). In cognitive-behavioral therapy, the therapist attempts to replace the negative automatic thoughts linked with spiders with more rational thoughts. A therapist might use systemic desensitization to treat arachnophobia. This is the method of learning relaxation techniques and then countering your fears from what one fears the least to what one fears the most.

With the assistance of cognitive reframing, an individual can learn to modify the way he looks at spiders so that he no longer perceives them as a threat. Eventually, an individual can change his physical reaction to seeing a spider.

Sometimes, medications such as an antidepressant or an anti-anxiety may be prescribed along with psychotherapy.

How To Come Out Of Fear

Read about spiders. You will learn that they scarcely bite people unless they feel threatened. Sometimes, a spider bite can create an allergic reaction. However, bites from certain spiders like the poisonous black widow and the brown recluse spider can be dangerous, still, most spider bites are harmless.

Bearing in mind the spiders normally and that includes the much-dreaded black widow and brown recluse-bite only in self-defense when they get trapped between your skin and another object. Also, you must be aware that while there are more than 63,000 species of spiders in the world, only 2% of them are dangerous.

Steer away from spiders, store firewood outside to avert bringing spiders inside the house. Install tight-fitting screens on your doors and windows, and cover off any cracks where spiders might enter. Ensure there are no rocks or lumber right outside your house since spiders like hanging out in those areas.  Make certain your attic and garage are free of cobwebs.

Discuss your fear of spiders with your loved ones and tell them you are getting treated for your condition.  You can ask your physician to recommend a professional therapist who can help you overcome your arachnophobia.

Stubbornness comes mostly with a bad reputation. The definition of a stubborn personality has gathered a false perception of negative traits that includes the following excessive ego, unwillingness to be wrong, ill-tempered, self-centric, fearful of the unknown, controlling, hyper-competitive and defensive.

Where is the other side of the coin? Stubbornness carries excessive of a negative persona, but it can be quite an asset.

Here Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells about a few great things about being stubborn.

Stubborn Person Know What He Does Or Does Not Want

Simply because of a stubborn person is not easily moved by opinions, or follows the path of pleasing others, it does not mean the person is self-centric

It is fine to be able to have a stubborn aspect so you can stick to your true values without allowing the opinions of others to affect you.

They Tend To Be More Decisive

A stubborn person is aware of what he wants and what he does not and looks to be more decisive and prompter to the point. For someone having a passive personality, this can come across in the wrong light.

A stubborn person can simply burn a passive personality, and make the person feel like a victim or decisions are being forced on them, but that is only with the faulty choice of the passive. A stubborn person is not every time high-headed in their attempt to control others but in their knowingness of what is good for them or the circumstances. Unless it is a pure ploy to rebel or hurt the other individual, doing what you know is good for yourself is not a bad thing. In fact, it can be a quite healthy act.

They Have Their Own Way

Following your heart takes true determination since, the path of the heart tends to be filled by intuition. It has the habit to move towards the unconventional and can seem illogical to others

However, a stubborn person moves past all the obstacles. They stick to their belief because being stubborn allows detachment from external influences.

They Persevere

A stubborn person has lesser tendencies to give in or give up on their aspirations. If you are stubborn, you can use it to your benefits in all aspects of your life. If you go through a tough breakup, failed academic plans, dream job or whatever else, you can be stubborn for your own self.

It will be beneficial for your well-being to persevere through the torrid patches of life and keep moving ahead. Do not give in to the overly critical people saying that you are too harsh on yourself. As long as you are in tune with your values and pursuits, you can go the distance.

Simply know that being stubborn does not necessarily mean you are totally rigid in your ways; it only means you know what you want and where you are. A stubborn person never settles for less than what he/she wants.

They Have A Mind Of Their Own, They Are Not Close Minded

Being stubborn persons does not always mean one is close-minded. There are a lot of stubborn individuals who open their ears to other’s views they just may decide to not be affected due to their own values, opinions or upbringings.

Whatever the case could be, stubborn persons have a mind of their own, which can be a valuable asset in life. This life is your own, and being stubborn can be a very appealing quality because having the willingness to listen only to your soul creates a particular magnetism.

Deep down, everyone wants to have the willpower to do exactly what their hearts ask for and stubborn person tend to chase their dreams being more focussed.

Several people begin being in a relationship simply after they fall in love. The decision to make someone an important part of one’s life revolves around various factors including trust, compatibility, values, and a few more. Unfortunately, some people might ignore the most important reason, that is love, for being in a relationship.

For those people being with someone becomes a necessity simply because they are alone. In most cases, people who push themselves to be in love to avoid being feeling lonely can soon turn insecure when they see their other half is giving attention to another person. It is not surprising to see such people turn into retentive and obsessive lovers later.

It is essential to realize what you hope from a partner or why you want to be in a relationship because being with someone for self-reasons can never make a relationship to blossom.

Here, psychologist, marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the signs that say you are afraid of being alone thus are in a relationship.

You Have No Idea About Anything Which Is Common Between You And Your Partner

It is quite normal for friends and family to compliment a couple saying they have plenty in common, be it their choice of food or any other habit. But, when somebody asks you what is common between you and your partner, you have no clue or you simply struggle. This is simply an indication of how mismatched you might be. This is certainly not a good sign.

When Your Partner Is With Someone Else You Feel Insecure

You may hate to admit it publicly but whenever you see your partner with somebody else you suffer from unexplainable thoughts of jealousy. The fear of being dumped fills your heart and mind and you become quite insecure. This is a strong indication that you suffer from the fear of negligence and most probably scared of getting lonely too.

Feel Alone When Your Partner Is Away

This is a major tell-tale sign of being in a relationship simply because you are afraid of being alone. Every time your partner is away from you, you fight this tendency to be constantly in touch with your partner. You feel lonely or ignored when your partner does not return your text and calls or makes plans with friends without asking you. Remember, such conduct will only push your relationship to the downhill.

Will Do Anything That Satisfies Your Partner

Are you changing into a person your partner might want? In your desperate efforts to satisfy your partner, do you frequently lie to them about yourself or hide specific traits of your personality because your partner would not approve of it? If you see yourself constantly doing the things just mentioned, you certainly need to rethink your approach towards the relationship you share.