Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Summary

• Marriage thrives on trust, emotional maturity, and mutual respect.
• Comfort, patience, and healthy conflict resolution build lasting relationships.
• Shared values and aligned life goals strengthen a lifelong partnership.

When you start dating someone, it’s only natural to be drawn to qualities that make your heart skip a beat, such as kindness and generosity, a good sense of humour, caring and compassion, and intelligence, to name a few. But you really do not bother so much, as you know that probably your current date may not be your life partner.

Since the future of such a relationship remains uncertain, many people tend to overlook habits, values, or personality traits that may seem insignificant in the excitement of new love. Marriage, however, is a different ball game. It is not about fleeting attraction or romantic highs. It is about choosing someone with whom you will live forever.

Someone who will stand beside you through celebrations, disappointments, setbacks, and milestones. The questions you keep thinking about become more relevant. Is this the right person for me? Do we have things in common? Will we evolve together instead of drifting apart? There are just a few of the many questions that begin to occupy our minds before taking the plunge.

“Marriage material isn’t defined by perfect romance, but by trust, emotional maturity, shared values, and the willingness to choose each other every single day.” – Shivani Misri Sadhoo, Gottman Recommended Indian Marriage Counsellor and Clinical Psychologist at IBS Hospital, Lajpat Nagar, Delhi

What makes a guy or girl suitable for marriage?

If you are still wondering what makes someone perfect for marriage, then read what Shivani Misri Sadhoo, an eminent couples therapist and marriage counsellor for Indian couples.

1. Are You Comfortable Around the Person?

This is perhaps one of the questions that we keep thinking about when we are about to marry someone. Do you genuinely feel comfortable with this person? The person you choose to marry should be someone with whom you never have to perform, explain yourself constantly, or worry about saying the wrong thing. You should be able to laugh freely, sit together in comfortable silence, have honest conversations without fear of being judged, and simply be yourself.

While grand romantic gestures make for beautiful moments, they don’t sustain a marriage; comfort does. You should be able to make happy memories with that person rather than feeling emotionally exhausted. When your prospective life partner accepts the way you are and does not try to change you, you feel respected and valued. This is an incredible feeling in a relationship.

2. Trust Matters

Another important factor that determines whether someone is truly marriage material is ‘trust’. Without it, even the strongest attraction begins to lose its meaning. Trust is the quiet confidence that your partner will stand by you, keep their word, and remain honest even when life becomes difficult. You know that you can rely on your partner and share the deepest secrets with them without thinking twice.

It means not having to second-guess their intentions or constantly seek reassurance. A marriage built on trust allows two people to feel secure, vulnerable, and completely themselves, knowing they are safe in each other’s hands.

3. Emotional Maturity

Emotional Maturity is one of those indispensable qualities to look for in a life partner because marriage demands far more than love: it demands understanding, restraint, and grace. A mature person neither suppresses emotions nor allows them to dictate every reaction.

Such individuals possess the rare ability to empathise, communicate, and grow alongside another person. In the long journey of marriage, this quiet steadiness often proves far more enduring than charm or chemistry.

4. Patience Matters

Patience is perhaps the most underrated virtue in the pursuit of marriage. In a world intoxicated by instant gratification, the temptation to settle for immediate chemistry often eclipses the wisdom of waiting. Yet a life partner is not someone chosen for a season but for a lifetime. Yet a life partner is not someone chosen for a season but for a lifetime.

Patience allows infatuation to yield to insight, revealing character beneath charm, consistency beneath promises, and resilience beneath perfection. The right person is rarely discovered in haste; they are recognised through discernment and quiet observation.

5. Aligned Life Goals

Marriage is not merely the union of two hearts: it is the convergence of two journeys. Love may ignite the spark, but shared aspirations keep the flame alive. So, before saying ‘yes’ to your prospective life partner, it is worth asking whether your ambitions complement each other.

Do you envision a similar future, support one another’s dreams, and find purpose in the same milestones? When two people move in the same direction, they are not just building a marriage; they are creating a life with intention, resilience, and meaning.

6. Conflict Resolution

When you are choosing a life partner, conflict resolution is a trait that is very important. Do not ignore it. Affection may bring two people together, but it is wisdom under pressure that determines whether they stay together. Every marriage will encounter disagreements, unexpected crises, and difficult decisions. The real question is not whether conflict will arise, but whether your partner can handle it with maturity, empathy, and sound judgment.

One needs to remain calm and composed when tackling such difficult situations. The person who can settle matters amicably without getting agitated or angry, and takes the right decisions at the right time, is far more likely to build a marriage that endures than someone who simply excels at romance.

A marriage is less about finding the perfect person and more about choosing someone whose values, character, and commitment align with yours. Love may begin a relationship, but trust, emotional maturity, patience, shared goals, and mutual respect help it to endure. These qualities create the foundation for a partnership that can truly stand the test of time.

Summary

• Genuine interest often shows through consistent attention and effort.
• Small actions, body language, and curiosity can reveal attraction.
• Clear communication is often the best way to remove doubt.

Written by Shivani Misri Sadhoo | 17+ Years Experience Certified EFT, CBT, DBT Therapist | Gottman Recommended Indian Marriage Counsellor | Clinical Psychologist at IBS Hospital

Having a crush can be exciting, confusing, and sometimes emotionally overwhelming. One moment, their smile feels meaningful, and the next, you wonder if you are reading too much into things. Attraction often shows up in subtle ways, but understanding the difference between friendliness and genuine romantic interest can save you from mixed signals and unnecessary overthinking. Learning to notice the right signs can help you approach dating with more confidence and clarity, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is an experienced couples therapist in Delhi.

Are They Just Being Nice… or Do They Actually Like You?

This is one of the biggest questions people ask when they develop feelings for someone. While no single sign guarantees attraction, consistent behaviour, emotional attention, and genuine effort often reveal much more than words.

“Sometimes attraction is not hidden in grand gestures or perfectly chosen words—it reveals itself in the little things. In the extra seconds of eye contact, the unexpected messages, the way someone remembers details you thought were forgotten, or how they make time even on their busiest days. Real interest often speaks quietly, but when someone truly likes you, their consistency, curiosity, and effort usually say what their words may not.” Shivani Misr Sadhoo, a certified Gottman therapist and one of the experienced marriage counsellors in Delhi and across India

They Find Reasons to Start Conversations

When someone likes you, they usually look for opportunities to talk, whether through messages, casual chats, social media reactions, or random check-ins. If your crush often initiates conversations without a clear reason, it may be a sign they enjoy your presence.

They Remember Small Details About You

People tend to remember things that matter to them. If your crush remembers your favourite food, an important event, your hobbies, or something you casually mentioned days ago, it often reflects genuine interest and emotional attention.

Their Body Language Changes Around You

Eye contact, smiling more often, leaning in while talking, fixing their appearance, or appearing slightly nervous can all be subtle signs of attraction. Body language often communicates interest before words do.

They Make Time for You

No matter how busy someone is, people usually make time for those they truly care about. If your crush consistently replies, checks on you, or creates chances to spend time together, their effort may be saying more than their words.

They Tease You or Flirt Naturally

Light teasing, playful jokes, inside conversations, and a comfortable sense of humor often indicate emotional comfort and attraction. Flirting does not always look dramatic—sometimes it feels natural, warm, and effortless.

They Show Curiosity About Your Life

Someone who likes you often wants to know more about your day, goals, interests, relationships, and future plans. Emotional curiosity usually reflects a desire to build a deeper connection.

They Notice When Something Feels Different

If they ask whether you are okay, notice your mood changes, or check in when you seem quiet, it may indicate emotional investment beyond casual friendship.

When Is It Time to Stop Guessing?

Sometimes attraction becomes clearer through honest communication rather than endless analysis. If the connection feels genuine, mutual, and emotionally comfortable, expressing interest respectfully may bring the clarity you need.

Real attraction is rarely about one dramatic sign. More often, it shows up through consistency, attention, emotional effort, and the way someone makes you feel when you are around them.