Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Marriage counselling is a powerful tool that helps couples navigate challenges, rebuild trust, and rediscover emotional intimacy. However, it’s natural for couples to wonder if therapy is genuinely making a difference, especially when progress feels slow or subtle. The journey to a healthier relationship is rarely linear, but certain signs indicate that your sessions are moving in the right direction. In this article, we’ll explore what marriage counselling is and highlight the positive signs that suggest your therapy is working, says Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is India’s leading Gottman Certified marriage counsellor.

What Is Marriage Counselling?

Marriage counselling, also known as couples therapy, is a form of psychotherapy that helps partners resolve conflicts, improve communication, and strengthen their emotional bond. Conducted by trained professionals—often licensed therapists or counsellors—these sessions offer a safe space for couples to express concerns, understand each other’s perspectives, and work towards shared goals.

Therapists may use various approaches like the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), depending on the couple’s unique issues and personalities. Whether you’re dealing with communication breakdowns, infidelity, parenting disagreements, or emotional distance, marriage counselling provides structured support to heal and grow together. Some of the signs that show your marriage counselling is working are explained by marriage counsellor Shivani Sadhoo.

Signs That Your Marriage Counselling Is Working

Improved Communication – One of the first signs of progress is the ability to talk more openly and respectfully. If you and your partner are starting to express your thoughts and emotions without yelling, blaming, or shutting down, it’s a strong indicator that therapy is helping. Effective communication lays the foundation for resolving deeper issues.

Increased Emotional Awareness – Therapy encourages self-reflection. As counselling progresses, both partners often begin to better understand their own emotional triggers and needs. You may find yourself saying, “I didn’t realise I felt that way,” or recognising how past experiences affect your reactions. This awareness creates space for empathy and growth.

Decreased Conflict or Healthier Conflict Resolution – Arguments may not disappear entirely, but you’ll likely notice a shift in how conflicts unfold. Fights become less frequent or intense, and you both begin to resolve disagreements more constructively. You’re no longer trying to “win” arguments, but instead working toward mutual understanding.

A Renewed Sense of Teamwork – Healthy marriages function as partnerships. If you and your spouse start referring to problems as “ours” instead of pointing fingers, it’s a sign you’re developing a collaborative mindset. Counselling often helps couples move from a “me vs. you” attitude to a “we’re in this together” approach.

Increased Affection and Intimacy – As emotional barriers dissolve, affection often returns. You might notice more hand-holding, hugging, or simply enjoying each other’s company again. Rekindling physical and emotional intimacy is a major sign that healing is underway.

Willingness to Change – Another strong signal that therapy is working is when both partners show a genuine willingness to change their behaviour. Whether it’s being more patient, setting healthy boundaries, or managing stress better, real change indicates commitment to growth.

A Safe Space Is Being Established – When both individuals feel safe to be vulnerable in and outside therapy sessions, it shows trust is being rebuilt. A safe emotional space is essential for long-term connection and healing.

Therapy Feels Less Forced – In the beginning, couples may attend sessions out of obligation or desperation. Over time, therapy may begin to feel like a helpful, even welcomed, space. You might look forward to sessions, not just to “fix” problems but to understand each other better.

Clarity About the Relationship’s Future – Even if couples ultimately decide to separate, therapy can still be considered successful if it helps them make that decision with clarity, mutual respect, and emotional closure. However, in most cases, couples find renewed clarity in staying together with realistic expectations and shared goals.

Marriage counselling is not a magic wand—it requires effort, honesty, and time. But when it works, the results are transformative. If you notice better communication, emotional safety, greater intimacy, and a shared commitment to change, these are all strong signs your therapy is making a difference. Stay patient, trust the process, and remember that the journey to a healthier relationship begins with small, consistent steps in the right direction.

In today’s fast-paced and often stressful world, mental health has taken centre stage. More people are turning to therapy as a way to better understand themselves, manage their emotions, and lead more fulfilling lives. One of the most well-known and widely used approaches is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). But as therapy continues to evolve, a newer approach known as Positive CBT has begun to gain attention. So, what exactly is Positive CBT, and how does it differ from traditional CBT? This is explained by India’s top marriage counsellor and CBT Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)?

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT, is a structured, short-term therapy that focuses on the connection between thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. It’s based on the idea that negative patterns of thinking can lead to emotional distress and unhelpful behaviours. By identifying and challenging these patterns, individuals can learn to think more clearly and behave more constructively.

For instance, someone struggling with self-doubt might constantly think, “I always mess things up.” CBT would help them recognise this thought, question its accuracy, and replace it with something more realistic, such as, “I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve also done things well.”

CBT is highly effective for treating conditions like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and more. Its structured, goal-oriented nature makes it easy to apply in both short- and long-term therapy.

What is Positive CBT?

While traditional CBT focuses on correcting what’s wrong, Positive CBT takes a different route—it builds on what’s already right. It draws from the field of positive psychology and aims to help individuals not only reduce distress but also thrive emotionally and psychologically.

In Positive CBT, the therapist helps the client identify personal strengths, values, and moments of success. Rather than focusing solely on symptoms or dysfunction, it emphasises hope, growth, and possibility. Clients might explore questions like: What does my best self look like? What brings me meaning? When have I felt proud or capable?

The same techniques used in CBT—such as journaling, thought records, and goal setting—are still used, but they’re reframed through a more optimistic and forward-looking lens.

How does Positive CBT help couples therapy?

Positive CBT is especially impactful in the context of couples therapy. Relationships often suffer when partners focus too much on problems—what’s going wrong, what’s missing, or who’s at fault. While addressing conflicts is important, Positive CBT adds another layer by helping couples rediscover what’s working.

In couples therapy, this approach encourages partners to recognise each other’s strengths, revisit shared values, and rebuild emotional connection. Instead of getting stuck in cycles of blame or criticism, couples are guided to focus on gratitude, empathy, and shared positive experiences.

Therapists might ask questions like:

• What first drew you to your partner?
• What strengths do you bring to the relationship?
• When do you feel most connected or supported by each other?

By reinforcing the positive aspects of the relationship and building on shared successes, couples are often better able to handle challenges together. It transforms the tone of therapy from fixing a broken bond to strengthening a meaningful one.

Positive Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a powerful evolution of traditional CBT. While classic CBT focuses on managing symptoms and solving problems, Positive CBT goes a step further—it empowers people to lead richer, more meaningful lives.

Whether applied to individuals seeking personal growth or couples looking to reconnect, Positive CBT promotes resilience, optimism, and deeper relationships. It helps us not only cope with the world as it is, but also shape it into the one we want to live in—starting from the inside out.