Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Anxiety is that voice in the back of your head that says, “Something unwanted is going to happen.” This is what keeps you awake at 2:00 AM thinking about something gross you did some years ago.

Not every introvert has anxiety, and extroverts and ambiverts might struggle with it, too. To be certain introversion and anxiety are not the same thing. Introversion is a choice for calm, minimally stimulating surrounding and a requirement for alone time to recharge, while anxiety is a usual term for disorders that creates excessive fear, worrying, and nervousness. Still, for several introverts, anxiety is a consistent part of their lives. And actually, anxiety is more common in introverts than extroverts.

At times anxiety is obvious to think of (panic attacks and sweaty palms), but this is not always the case. Several people live with a form named “high-functioning anxiety.” Outwardly, they seem to have it all together. They might even lead very successful lives. No one can think from the outside that they are driven by fear. At times they do not even realize it themselves says Shivani Sadhoo.

Even though not an official diagnosis, high-functioning anxiety is a thing various people identify with. It is closely linked to Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which impacts millions of people worldwide. While women are twice as likely to experience it compared to men.

Here, India’s top psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some signs of high functioning anxiety.

Here, they are.

You are always prepared

Your mind consistently jumps to the worst-case scenario in any given circumstances. As a result, you might find yourself over-preparing. For instance, you might pack your essentials in both your checked luggage and your carry-on, just in case the airline loses your suitcase. People perceive you as being the reliable one, your preparations mostly do come in handy, but few individuals (if any) realize that your “ready for anything” mentality stems due to anxiety.

You may go berserk inside, but you are unflappable on the outside

Interestingly, several people having high-functioning anxiety do not reveal simply how nervous they are, which is another reason why it is mostly secret anxiety. You perhaps have learned to compartmentalize your emotions.

You continuously feel the urge to be doing something

This could be a real problem if you are an introvert who requires plenty of downtimes to recharge. This does not necessarily mean you are attending plenty of social events; rather, you might feel a compulsion to always be getting things done or remaining on top of things. Remaining busy distracts you from your anxiety and provides you with a sense of control.

You view the world in a fundamentally different manner

Your anxiety is not merely “in your mind.” Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel saw that individuals who are anxious view the world differently than people who are not. In that study, anxious people were less capable to differentiate between a safe stimulus and one that was earlier linked with a threat. In simple words, anxious people overgeneralize their emotional experiences—even when they are not threatening.

You are fearful of disappointing others

You may be a people-pleaser. You are so afraid of allowing others down that you work hard to make everybody around you happy, even if it means sacrificing your own wishes and needs.

You are externally successful

Goal-oriented, organized, detail-oriented, and proactive in planning prior to all possibilities, you might be the picture of success. The issue is, it is never enough. You always feel like you need to be doing more.

You have formed your life around avoidance

You have restricted your world to stop overwhelm. You stick to fixed routines and familiar experiences that provide you a sense of easiness and control; you avoid intense emotional experiences, such as travel, social events, conflict, or anything else that may trigger your anxiety.

You are a perfectionist

You attempt to calm your worries by getting your tasks or your appearance simply right. This could bring positive results, but it comes at an expense. You might have an “everything-or-nothing” mentality (“If I am not the best employee, then I am the worst”). You might have a few unrealistic expectations of yourself, and a catastrophic fear of falling short of them.

You are prone to reflection and overthinking

You do plenty of negative self-talk. You mostly revisualize past mistakes in your mind, dwell on scary “what if” situations, and struggle to enjoy the present moment because you are expecting the worst. Sometimes your mind races and you are not able to stop it.

You experience aches, repetitive habits, and tics

Your anxiety perhaps manifests physically in your body as repeated muscle tension or aches. Similarly, you may unconsciously pick at the skin surrounding your nails, tap your foot, scratch your scalp, or do other repetitive tasks that gets your nervous energy out—even when you seem composed in other ways.

You are always tired

Your mind is repeatedly going on, so you have a problem falling asleep or staying asleep. Even when you sleep well, you feel fatigued during the day because dealing with a continuous underlying level of anxiety is exhausting.

If one is anxious, one would know it, correct? Well, that would be good, but the truth is several anxious persons are not certain what they feel. Recognizing and naming emotions is a skill to learn, that not everyone is good at doing. There are certain signs you can use to identify if you are struggling with anxiety but avoiding the emotion at the same time, says Shivani Sadhoo.

As you may know, several health issues are also linked to stress-related issues. Some studies have also indicated that issues such as IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and headaches are also the causes of anxiety.

Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog shares certain signs that suggest you are anxious, but perhaps do not know about it.

Signs Anxiety is Troubling You

Anxiety shows up when you do not have the sort of control in life you would like. For instance, anxiety naturally happens when you are driving on a snow-covered road and realize that your car has begun to slide; as the car slides, you do not have the sort of control you would like.

Anyone can experience this emotion that arises due to the loss of control in any number of situations, including work, relationships, or in other aspects. One can also experience anxiety when visualizing or imagining future events where one might not have control, like giving an office presentation a week from now. One can be anxious and still look calm, conduct normally, and accomplish important things. Anxiety is not every time about looking or acting like a nervous person.

Here are certain signs.

It is Hard for You to Name Emotions

If you pass through your day without thinking much about what you feel, have a problem explaining to others what you feel, rarely ask others what they feel, and are not certain what leads to feeling good or bad, you could be struggling with alexithymia.

The Chronic Pain or Other Health Issues Began During a Stress or Transition

If you try to look back at when your shoulder started to hurt, your lower back went out, or your overwhelming fatigue crept in, you may find that your life was in a major transition or stressful period. Perhaps one of your kids started school, or your daughter left home, you lost a job or your parents died, graduated from college, or began a new job. Transitions and stress are significantly hurdled some because of the lack of control in these situations, which leads to anxiety.

You Have No Idea What You Need

When your basic needs for connection with others, competence, and freedom are not met, you are going to experience negative emotions. If you are not aware of your own needs, you might not be aware of what you feel when your needs aren’t met.

You Do Not Share Your Emotional Ups and Downs with Others

A person who openly shares his life with others talks about emotions. A person who connects with others majorly through activities such as work, sports, or discussions regarding politics may not be getting below the surface to discuss what they feel or need.

Coping Strategy of Your’s are Not Healthy

Although you keep telling yourself you are doing well, you are consuming more alcohol, picking up your past smoking habit again, spending more time and money using unhealthy products to manage your sleep problems, watching more television, and reacting angrily at pretty minor irritations or nothing at all.

Having Unexplained Pain Issues

If you have life hurdles and unmet desires but no clearly defined emotions, chronic pain might be what you do feel in the end. The stress you feel during work, the unhappiness you experience at home, and the pressures of life formed emotions, emotions that assist you to know that something is wrong and needs attention. Think of physical pain as an alternative method of your brain getting your attention that something is not right if your emotional warning system is switched off.

Are you also struggling to identify your emotions? Or do not know what to do? Don’t worry psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo will assist you and guide you to come out of this phase and help you overcome your anxiety-related issues.

Many people cannot wait for the night to come so that they can go to bed and enjoy a resting until the morning, specifically, if they have a good quality mattress beneath them, the one that can give a good night’s rest. But for a few, that is a quite scary, almost a horrifying experience. Yes, here counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is talking about the fear of sleep, or as it is also called Somniphobia, that can make your life miserable and affect your both physical and mental well-being.

For persons who have this phobia, the idea of falling asleep is unimaginable. There is no logical explanation for this, but for some reason, they are afraid to fall asleep and that they will never get up because something terrible might happen, or that the same old nightmare will be waiting to haunt them as soon as they close their eyes.

What is Somniphobia?

This phobia has several names such as hypnophobia, clinophobia, somniphobia, sleep dread, and sleep anxiety. It is an irrational fear of falling asleep because of what may happen while you are unconscious. The general scenario implies an individual worrying all day long about having to go to sleep, and then, when the moment arrives, their anxiety levels are so high that their body cannot relax enough for them actually to get some rest.

It is clear that at a certain point, the person will fall asleep, but their resting moment will be of low quality and frequently disturbed. If that pattern keeps happening, and it nearly always does when it comes to this phobia, after a certain time, the health of the individual will be jeopardized. So, if you recognize yourself in these steps, you need to know how to overcome somniphobia, because it is not a matter to ignore and it can have serious implications after some time.

Through this blog, India’s leading Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about somniphobia and how to overcome it.

Things that Causes Somniphobia or Fear of Sleep

There could be various for this phobia Here are some prominent ones.

·         Anxiety

·         Nightmares

·         Fear of Death

·         Sleepwalking

·         Sleep Talking

·         Sleep Paralysis

·         Trauma

·         Horror Movies or Stories

Fear of Falling Asleep Symptoms

Your body is always telling you if something is a bit right, one way or another. You need to listen to it properly, pay attention to every detail, and changes it goes through because it can lead you to the core of the issue. When it comes to your sleep deprivation caused due to fear of falling asleep, these are infallible signs. They are:

·         Daytime Sleepiness

·         Mood Swings

·         Memory Loss

·         Chronic Fatigue

Other Symptoms

Some of your body reactions will not so clearly point to having this sort of problem, but if you noticed some of those repeating actions, and you are aware you have been deprived of sleep, you need to think about consulting with the professional.

If you begin feeling distressed as the night time and the bedtime inches closer if you counter the urge to sleep and look to stay up as late as possible if you feel panic attacks or trouble breathing when the night arrives, this could be the problem you are facing. Also, if you find it hard to think about anything else, then the fear of sleep, or have a problem remembering stuff, it is likely you have clinophobia.

On the other side, some symptoms could be extreme nausea or other stomach issues when the time for bed comes, just as the feeling of great pressure around the chest area, and faster heart rate after a minute or two spent in the bed. It might happen you experience things like hyperventilation, extreme sweating, and shaking, while children can start crying and screaming when their parents look to leave the room.

Some Individuals often tend to consume drinks or some other substances in order to get sleep. Some have strict rules that require to be applied, such as leaving television, lights, and the music on to distract them.

Is There Any Risk Factor?

If you or someone in your family who suffers or suffered from some kind of phobia or extreme anxiety, it is more likely for you to have this specific phobia of sleeping or some other. Though there are no clear thing claiming there is a genetic link, but the reality is chances are increased.

Also, having one of several sleep disorders or a serious medical condition might be a factor of higher somniphobia risk. For instance, if you have a heart-related problem that could lead to death, you may start being afraid of that happening in the night while you are asleep. Eventually, that kind of fear can lead to sleep phobia.

Consulting a professional is the best thing you can do if suspecting you have this sort of problem. They will need primarily to diagnose it properly, and then they will assist you to overcome it. It is not something that will go away all of a sudden, without help, and it is serious enough to impact your physical and mental health, as well as your regular life.

How Can You Treat Somniphobia?

Once it comes to a conclusion on the main source of your phobia, the therapist prescribes you a certain treatment. They could be:

Exposure Therapy

This kind of therapy includes working with a psychologist on exposing your fear and slowly overcoming it. This means talking about the fear, experimenting with some relaxing techniques, and thinking about what it will mean to have a good night’s rest. Sometimes this method may include spending time in a sleep lab or with a professional who stays there while you sleep.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is based on your counter and challenging the bad thoughts that stop you from sleeping peacefully. That could be pointed to thoughts related to sleep itself or towards the fear that forces you not wanting to go to bed. Usually, the therapist will recommend a sleep restriction method, which means that you required to go to bed and get up every day at the same time, irrespective if you have slept or not.

Medication

There are not medications for phobia, but some of them can decrease anxiety and other symptoms. If there is no other method, then depending on your condition you may be prescribed some medicine.

Conclusion

People who have never experienced something like this cannot probably understand what you are going through, the agony of feeling extremely fatigued but countering the urge to sleep so hard while experiencing all sorts of unpleasant symptoms. The vital thing is not to develop a stigma around it, but to accept you have an issue, the one that is not so uncommon as you thought and is treatable. Be aware that if you keep continuing to ignore it, as several people tend to, you will keep exposing your body to extreme levels of stress that could and most likely will lead to some sort of health problem.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Reveals Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo

In several cultures marriage is considered a sacred bond that binds 2 individuals together. While a lot of people wait their whole life to be together forever with the person they love, the reality may be different for some others. For certain people, however, the boundations of marriage are literally scary as hell. This type of irrational fear of getting married or committed is called gamophobia.

It has been obtained from the Greek word “gamos” meaning marriage. Psychologist Shivani says gamophobia is displayed by intense, irrelevant, and continuous fear of marriage and commitment. The individual is specifically scared to get into a marriage which means spending the whole life with a single person.

A gamophobic individual’s fear of marriage is similar to the fear of dying. A gamophobic person might be in a relationship with someone, but move away and get nervous if the topic of marriage crops up. This phobia is completely different from Anuptaphobia – fear of being single and Philophobia – fear of falling in love.

This blog by India’s top Psychologist and Marriage Counselor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo reveals about Gamophobia and what are its causes signs, and treatment.

What Causes Gamophobia

Gamophobia is quite a common phobia that happens in people, specifically men. Men tend to fear marriage because of the factors such as the personal, financial, and social risks that come along with marriage. Thus, gamophobia can be caused by the following:

Personal Instability

Personal instability or insecurity can be a big cause of gamophobia in people. Marriage doesn’t happen easily. Several responsibilities are added. You don’t share simply a relationship, but you share all your personal, social, financial, and legal belongings. The fear of marriage could be developed out of the fear of all or any of these risks and vulnerabilities.

Connected Distressful Incident

Gamophobia can also be linked with any unwanted and distressful occurrence that implanted a negative impact of marriage on an individual’s mind. These incidents could range from the divorce of parents during childhood, violence from parents, having seen one’s parents or other married couples fight and argue, a previous marriage failure, betrayal by a partner, or hearing regarding unsuccessful marriages extensively. Any such incidents can be responsible for gamophobia in people.

Depression

The fears of marriage and commitment can also happen due to other depressive conditions. A person might actually be willing to marry, but simply scared and anxious to go through it. Lack of self-belief, poor self-image, lack of sexual confidence, and other forms of depression may also make a person stay away from marriage and commitments.

Signs of Gamophobia

Some of the prominent signs that may happen in the people having gamophobia both in the case of men and women are:

·         Irrational and extensive fear of marriage and commitment. Even a slight thought of marriage or seeing someone getting married can trigger this fear.

·         Totally staying away from marriage and related events or discussions.

·         Aggression, panic attacks and quick-temper upon the slightest thought or discussion of one’s marriage.

·         Feeling that the fear is irrational but not manageable to control.

·         Low-self-esteem.

·         Panicking follows physical symptoms like trembling, crying, trouble in breathing, rapid heartbeat, nausea or vomiting, dizziness, fainting, sweating profusely, and abdominal discomfort.

When to See a Psychologist or a Counselor

Gamophobia can become a serious issue as it can lead one to stay isolated. A gamophobic person is simply scared of the thought of marriage, but not unwilling to do so. The fear can greatly damage relationships and family life of a person. In those circumstances, consulting with a psychologist or counselor is necessary. Moreover, if the above said symptoms have happened for a long time period, over 6 months, and disrupted the life of an individual, one requires to begin with the treatment.

How It Can Be Treated

Gamophobia can be treated using various psychotherapies and medications. Some of the effective psychotherapies for successful elimination of this fear are:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

CBT is 1 of the most impactful treatment therapies for gamophobia. Gamophobia might be related to a past distressful memory and experience. The behavioral therapist treats the person and tries to dig out the negative thoughts 1 has towards marriage. A gamophobic individual tends to have a rush of fear because of the negative and disturbing images linked with marriage, and not due to marriage straight away. The counselor conducts healthy talking and sharing sessions and helps to replace those negative images with positive ones.

Exposure Therapy

This therapy is also another good psychotherapy used for the treatment of gamophobia. In exposure therapy, the counselor makes the person confront a setting the same as in a marriage or brings up topics to discuss marriage. Alongside this, the psychologist also guides the person to keep himself calm and relaxed in the session. Through regular sessions, the person gets accustomed to it and will be able to form tolerance for anxiety.

Family Therapy

Family therapy is a crucial component during this whole treatment process. The counselor works with the family and makes them aware of the phobic condition. In fact, the counseling sessions with family forms support and motivation for the individual from family sources. This can be a huge lift up for the complete treatment process.

Medication

In extremely serious cases of isolation and anxiety, medications may be used. Normally used medicines are anti-anxiety and anti-depressants. However, therapies are regarded as more effective for the treatment of gamophobia.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high. 

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service! 

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.