Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

When we fall in love, there’s a natural desire to share that happiness with others. Social media makes this easy, providing a platform for couples to showcase their love through photos, captions, and stories. Yet, while public declarations of love might seem positive, studies suggest that couples who frequently post about their relationship are often less happy than those who don’t.

Social media can create external pressure and fuel unhealthy comparisons. Constantly seeing other couples’ “perfect” moments may lead to self-doubt and jealousy. In contrast, couples who share less are less likely to fall into this comparison trap, allowing them to focus on their relationship instead of trying to keep up a curated online image. As a result, these couples often feel more secure, authentic, and satisfied.

What’s the reason couples who post less selfies tend to be more in love?

Let’s explore why couples who post less about their relationship tend to experience deeper, more genuine love as shared by one of India’ top marriage counsellors and relationship experts Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this article.

Belief in Real Connection

Couples who don’t rely on social media to display their relationship tend to prioritize private, meaningful moments. They value genuine connection over creating an online image, preferring to experience love in ways that don’t require external validation. This doesn’t mean they hide their relationship, but rather that they see love as something best nurtured in private. They focus on shared experiences, honest communication, and deepening their bond rather than proving their happiness to others. True connection doesn’t need an online audience, and these couples invest in building a love that thrives without counting likes.

Prioritizing Time Together

By spending less time on social media, couples can focus on the present and the moments they share. This dedication to being in the moment helps them create meaningful memories and nurtures a type of intimacy that transcends what can be shown on a screen. They immerse themselves in shared experiences, conversations, laughter, and adventures, which strengthen their emotional connection. In contrast, couples who post frequently may inadvertently shift their focus away from authentic experiences, as they seek external approval. The result is often a more superficial connection. Ultimately, those who cherish their time together build a more fulfilling, intimate relationship grounded in true love.

Freedom from Comparisons

Couples who share less on social media avoid the comparison trap that platforms often create. Social media typically highlights the best aspects of relationships, leading many to measure their own against idealized versions of others’ lives. By not posting constantly, couples focus on their own growth rather than seeking validation or portraying a “perfect” life. This freedom allows them to appreciate their own journey and love without insecurities fueled by comparing themselves to others. For these couples, less sharing fosters a stronger, more genuine bond.

Emphasis on True Happiness

Couples who understand that happiness comes from within are less dependent on their relationship for personal fulfillment. While they may share moments of joy on social media, these posts stem from authenticity rather than a need for approval. Happy couples prioritize personal growth, self-care, and pursuing individual interests, understanding that likes and comments do not measure the quality of their relationship. In contrast, couples who frequently post may come to rely on online attention, assessing their happiness through superficial metrics. Those who are less engaged on social media remain grounded in mutual respect, valuing what truly matters over public perception.

Seeking Support from Each Other

When couples refrain from oversharing, they often cultivate a more profound emotional connection, relying on each other for support instead of turning to an online audience. This inward focus encourages open communication, allowing both partners to express their feelings and challenges directly to each other. By prioritizing their relationship over others’ opinions, they create a safe environment that fosters vulnerability, trust, and understanding. This deeper emotional bond strengthens their love and builds resilience against external pressures. Their reliance on each other through life’s ups and downs enhances their empathy and trust, ensuring their relationship remains strong.

In the digital age, understanding how to nurture love amid constant online sharing is essential. Couples who post less about their relationship often focus on creating authentic connections, meaningful shared experiences, and mutual support. By prioritizing each other over seeking validation online, they build deeper, more lasting bonds. True love is about genuine connection, not the number of likes or the frequency of posts. This commitment to real connection leads to happiness, stability, and enduring love.

Loneliness is not the same as being alone. Being alone is a fact whereas loneliness is a feeling. You can feel lonely when you are with friends or with your partner.

At the same time, you don’t need to feel lonely when you are alone.

In other words, loneliness can be termed as the desire to get connected with someone and that someone is not available. This can certainly occur when we are alone, but it also occurs in relationships when one or both partners are unavailable for connection perhaps due to anger, doubts, distrust, withdrawal, tired, illness or just being complacent in the relationship.

So what causes loneliness in a relationship? According to Delhi’s eminent Relationship and Marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, in a relationship loneliness is created by certain situations and conditions and there are:

1. When a person is emotionally fragile, many times it’s seen that such personalities start protecting themselves from getting emotionally hurt by expressing anger or by withdrawal. In such a scenario, their partner finds it difficult to connect with them.

2. One may feel lonely with his/her partner when their partner deliberately shuts them out with work, TV, food, hard drink, hobbies, the Internet so on and so forth.

3. One may feel lonely when he/she tries to have control over their partner’s feelings. Since no one in this world likes to be controlled and such tendencies soon push away the person’s partner physically and emotionally.

4.  One may feel lonely if the other half keeps judging them regarding their thoughts, feelings, looks or actions. Judgment creates disconnection, and disconnection can be very lonely.

5.  One may also feel lonely when their partner can’t connect with them due to being overly tired, frazzled and overwhelmed or unwell.

In today’s fast-moving lifestyle, building a healthy and long-lasting relationship with your spouse is not easy; a large portion of the population that daily faces professional, travel and financial pressures, find the least time and energy to devote to their family and spouse.

According to Delhi’s eminent marriage counsellor and relationship expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo, the key to maintaining a healthy and long-term relationship is not to take the relationship or spouse for granted but rather put a constant effort to enhance the romantic bond by – building healthy relationship habits. These good romantic relationship habits could be:

1.  Always go to bed together.

One of the effective good relationship habits is to go to bed at the same time. Remember happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. There’s nothing more soothing than a bedtime cuddle.

2. They don’t expect their partner to read their mind; they ask for what they need: 

The happiest couples generally ask for what they need and listen to each other’s needs. Running around hoping that another person will know what you need or that you are supposed to know exactly what they need is a recipe for disaster. The happiest couples are delighted to openly talk about needs and honour differences in needs without feeling like anyone should have already known or that their ‘soul mate’ will have the same needs as them.

3. Always trust and try to forgive.

In every relationship, there would be arguments and small fights but couples who are dedicated towards their relationship make a habit to trust and forgive, rather than distrusting and begrudging as their default setting after an argument.

4. They focus on what they do right, not what they do wrong.

Positive reinforcement is an age-old concept used with children but it’s also important for fully grown adults too. So compliment your partner when they deserve it and try not to look for things they do wrong.