Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

We live in an era where time seems to slip through our fingers like sand. There’s always another errand to run, another deadline to meet, and another responsibility to juggle. Amidst this whirlwind of activity, our relationships often take a backseat.

We tend to overlook or take for granted the special moments that nurture and sustain our bonds.

Whether it’s taking a leisurely walk in the park, sharing a quiet cup of morning coffee, or watching the star-studded sky by the sea, these seemingly small moments are the building blocks of true connection and intimacy.

What happens when your partner doesn’t have time for these precious moments and how to rectify the situation?

Here are 7 simple yet meaningful ways to bridge the gap and keep the connection alive shared by one of Delhi’s leading couples therapists, Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

Greet Each Other

Sometimes, little things go unnoticed in relationships, yet they hold profound importance. Greeting and parting gestures, like warmly saying hello or goodbye to your partner, are among these subtle yet impactful acts.

They signify attentiveness, respect, and care, showing your partner they are valued and cherished in your life. By consistently acknowledging their presence and showing interest in their day, these simple gestures strengthen emotional bonds and foster a foundation of mutual respect and security in a relationship.

Talk to Each Other

Talk to each other. Setting aside dedicated time to connect with your partner and genuinely inquire about their day demonstrates a profound interest in their life.

By actively listening and remembering details they share, such as their projects or challenges, you show that their experiences matter deeply to you. This open communication nurtures intimacy and fortifies the foundation of trust and understanding in your relationship.

Equally important is expressing your own feelings and needs openly, using “I” statements to avoid blame and promote mutual empathy. This approach cultivates a supportive environment where both partners feel valued and heard, nurturing a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Listen To Each Other

Communication is a two-way process. It involves more than just speaking; it’s about truly listening and understanding each other. When partners actively listen without deflection or defensiveness, they create a safe space for vulnerability and shared feelings.

Feeling heard builds trust and respect, showing that each person’s thoughts and emotions matter. While hearing is passive, listening is active and requires genuine attention to grasp the speaker’s perspective fully. In essence, effective listening strengthens connections by validating each other’s experiences and nurturing deeper understanding in the relationship.

Common Interests

When two people share or have similar interests, it can significantly ease the challenges when one partner lacks time for the other. Rather than viewing chores and responsibilities as barriers, tackling them together becomes opportunity for bonding.

Whether it’s grocery shopping, exploring new hobbies, or cleaning the house as a team, these shared moments foster deeper connection and joy. Even if partners are opposites, finding common ground and meeting halfway ensures a balanced and fulfilling relationship.

Be Supportive

Sometimes all it takes is to understand each other’s commitments when your partner doesn’t have enough time for you. By being mindful of their needs and demonstrating how they can make you feel loved and cherished through small gestures, you foster cooperation.

Making requests instead of demands shows flexibility and supports their responsibilities. Acknowledge their time constraints, offer encouragement, and reassure them of your unwavering support, building a strong foundation of understanding in your relationship.

Say NO to Technology For Some Time

You will find that setting limits on technology can greatly enhance quality time with your partner. Designate tech-free zones like the dinner table, and establish regular “techno-curfews” for uninterrupted moments together.

By resisting the urge to check devices during conversations or breaks, you demonstrate genuine focus and respect. This small gesture prioritizes your partner over distractions, strengthening your connection even in everyday moments.

Sweet Surprises

Sometimes, sweet surprises can win your partner’s heart and attention, especially when they don’t have much time. Plan creative, personalized activities based on their interests, like a romantic getaway or a concert. The anticipation and shared joy strengthen your bond.

Capture these moments with photos and stories, creating lasting memories. Surprise your partner to keep the relationship exciting and meaningful.

These tips emphasize the importance of small, meaningful actions in nurturing relationships. By greeting, communicating, listening, sharing interests, supporting each other, limiting technology, and planning sweet surprises, couples can maintain intimacy and connection even during busy times.

We are living in a time where it is increasingly difficult to differentiate between what is real and what is not. This uncertainty can extend to our most intimate relationships, leaving us questioning whether our partner truly loves us or is subtly manipulating us.

The thrill of new love can be intoxicating, often blurring our judgment. In a healthy relationship, the initial excitement and infatuation will eventually give way to a deeper, more stable connection.

Manipulation is the deliberate psychological influence over others for personal benefit, encompassing both subtle and overt tactics. It involves unfair strategies aimed at gaining control or advantage, making it difficult to detect due to its varied and often cunning approaches. Leading couples therapist in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some of the ways to recognize it:

How does one recognize the signs of manipulation in a relationship?

Looking for constant reassurance

Seeking constant reassurance in a relationship can be a sign of manipulation. While it’s natural to desire affirmation and security from your partner, excessive neediness can lead to controlling behaviours.

Manipulative individuals may justify their actions by convincing themselves that they are rescuing or proving their care. They might say things like, “Don’t you see how much I care about you?” or “You’re so lucky to have me.”

This behavior can isolate you from others and undermine your independence, indicating deeper issues within the relationship that warrant attention.

Guilt-tripping

When one person in a relationship resorts to guilt-tripping, it often signifies a form of manipulation aimed at securing compliance from the other.

This strategy involves strategically inducing feelings of guilt in order to coerce their partner into actions or decisions they might otherwise resist. A clear indicator of this manipulation is when you find yourself feeling guilty or ashamed for setting boundaries or asserting yourself within the relationship.

The guilt tripper typically expresses dissatisfaction or disappointment when their desires are challenged, leading the other person to give in to alleviate guilt and restore harmony. This cycle perpetuates a dynamic where one partner’s emotional manipulation undermines the other’s autonomy, fostering a skewed power balance detrimental to genuine mutual respect and understanding.

Gaslighting

Did you ever feel like your reality is constantly under attack? Gaslighting in relationships manifests through denial of facts, accusations of imagination, emotional invalidation, and even hiding objects to make you doubt yourself. It erodes your confidence and makes you question your own sanity.

Recognizing these tactics helps identify manipulation, ensuring you safeguard your mental well-being and seek support if needed.

Love bombing

Perhaps one of the most deceptive tactics in relationships is love bombing. Initially, it masquerades as an overwhelming display of affection and attention, leaving one feeling cherished and valued. However, beneath its surface lies manipulation, aiming to control and dominate.

What starts as a euphoric romance can swiftly transform into emotional abuse once the manipulator’s objectives are met, urging caution in the early stages of any relationship.

When you question your own identity

Another sign of manipulation in a relationship is when one partner feels afraid of triggering the other’s anger or displeasure, constantly monitoring and compromising themselves to avoid conflict.

This behaviour often leads to a loss of individual identity, as the manipulated partner gives up their opinions, and interests, and even alters their lifestyle to please the dominant partner. The manipulator may isolate their partner from friends, family, and personal activities, exerting control over their choices and expression of self.

When you are being constantly monitored

This is yet another insidious sign of manipulation in a relationship, where frequent texts, calls, or emails evolve into controlling behaviour. What may start as innocent communication can escalate into jealousy, accusations of infidelity, and attempts to isolate you from loved ones.

This invasive monitoring of your interactions and movements reflects a desire for dominance, eroding your autonomy and fostering a climate of fear and dependency.

While relationships can be sources of joy and support, vigilance is important to detect manipulation. Recognizing signs like constant reassurance-seeking, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, lovebombing, identity questioning, and excessive monitoring can protect one’s emotional well-being and autonomy.

Human nature often compels us to point fingers at others when things go wrong. We are wired to blame external circumstances or people rather than introspect and hold ourselves accountable. This knee-jerk reaction is only heightened under stress or frustration, leading to conflicts that can strain relationships. 

While differences in perspective can enrich a relationship, a disagreement that escalates into harsh words and unbridgeable divides leaves no winners.

How do couples stop blaming each other and maintain a healthy relationship?

Let’s find out from leading couples therapist and relationship counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, the 5 simple ways of doing so.

Being Self-Reflective

Blaming others in a relationship often masks our own flaws through projection, making us feel innocent of any wrongdoing. By becoming self-reflective, we can recognize when our anger or hurt is actually rooted in traits we dislike in ourselves.

This awareness helps us avoid the mental error of assuming our partner is at fault. Instead of reacting, we can discuss our feelings and understand each other’s perspectives. This approach allows us to collaboratively solve issues, like tidying the kitchen before guests arrive, and fosters mutual understanding. A heartfelt apology after such discussions strengthens the relationship.

Change your Mindset

When it comes to resolving conflicts in a relationship, adopting an “us vs. the problem” mindset is key. This approach shifts focus away from blaming each other and instead emphasizes collaboration. By acknowledging that the issue itself is valid without dredging up past grievances, both partners can work together more effectively.

Rather than seeing disagreements as competitions, viewing them as shared challenges encourages teamwork. Taking responsibility for individual contributions to the conflict and prioritizing resolution fosters patience and strengthens the bond between partners.

This mindset promotes positive problem-solving and prevents the need to prove oneself right using past hurts, ultimately nurturing a healthier and more supportive relationship.

Find out The Root Cause

Many a time, arguments in relationships stem from deeper issues rather than the surface topics they appear to be about. These underlying issues often revolve around power dynamics, trust issues, respect concerns, and differing needs for personal space.

Identifying these fundamental differences is crucial because it allows couples to address the root cause of their conflicts, rather than merely treating the symptoms. This understanding can prevent recurring arguments and foster more meaningful resolutions.

However, due to the intense emotions and vulnerability involved, this process is often best facilitated with the guidance of a trusted third party, such as a counselor or mediator. By delving beneath the surface and addressing these core issues, couples can break free from the cycle of blame and build a stronger, more harmonious relationship based on mutual understanding and respect.

Building Lasting Bonds

Nurturing your relationship daily is crucial not just for handling conflicts but for preventing them from escalating. Spending quality time together and engaging in activities that strengthen your bond can prevent the blame game.

Showing regular appreciation and affection, and communicating openly about needs and desires, promotes understanding and reduces misunderstandings.

Positive relationships enhance well-being by sharing positive memories, offering support, and emotionally engaging with each other. This daily effort creates a supportive environment where conflicts are managed constructively, rather than becoming a battleground of blame.

The Debating Game

The debating game offers a proactive approach to resolving conflicts in relationships by fostering empathy and understanding. Instead of reacting to arguments defensively, both partners choose a calm moment to discuss their differences.

Sitting together in a quiet space, they take turns role-playing each other’s perspectives for an extended period, ensuring all angles are thoroughly explored. This exercise not only deepens empathy but also facilitates a clearer understanding of each other’s viewpoints.

By the end of the debate, both partners share what they’ve learned, offering constructive strategies to handle future disagreements more effectively. This method transforms blame into mutual understanding, paving the way for healthier, more empathetic relationships.

Think of your relationship as a journey of mutual growth and understanding. By cultivating self-reflection, adopting a collaborative mindset, addressing root causes, nurturing daily bonds, and engaging in constructive debates, couples can transcend the blame game. Embrace empathy, communicate openly, and build a foundation of trust for a harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

Self-care is often viewed as a luxury, but it is, in fact, a necessity for maintaining both personal well-being and healthy relationships. In today’s fast-paced world, taking time to care for oneself is essential to manage stress, enhance emotional health, and maintain physical fitness.

Moreover, self-care significantly impacts how we interact with our partners and can be a cornerstone for a thriving relationship, says one of India’s leading marital and family therapists Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

What is Self-Care?

Self-care involves any activity that we deliberately engage in to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Simple activities like exercising, reading a book, meditating, or even taking a break from social media can be forms of self-care.

By prioritizing these activities, we replenish our energy and reset our minds, which is crucial for managing day-to-day stressors effectively.

What is the Impact of Neglecting Self-Care?

When we neglect self-care, it often leads to burnout, irritability, and emotional exhaustion. These states can adversely affect our relationships, leading to misunderstandings, conflicts, and a lack of intimacy.

For instance, when an individual is constantly stressed and exhausted, they may become short-tempered and less patient, making it difficult to communicate effectively with their partner.

Conversely, when we are well-rested and emotionally balanced, we are more likely to approach our relationships with patience, understanding, and empathy.

What about the Self-Care and Boundary Setting?

Self-care is not only about personal health but also about setting boundaries and learning to say no. This is particularly important in relationships where individuals may feel pressured to constantly meet their partner’s needs, often at the expense of their own well-being.

By practicing self-care, individuals learn to balance their own needs with those of their partner, leading to a healthier and more reciprocal relationship dynamic.

What are the Possible Benefits of Self-Care for Relationships?

For relationships, self-care has a dual benefit. Firstly, it ensures that each partner is functioning at their best, contributing positively to the relationship.

Secondly, it sets a precedent for mutual respect and understanding. When one partner sees the other taking time for self-care, it can inspire them to do the same, fostering an environment where both individuals feel valued and supported.

What are the Outcomes of Shared Self-Care Activities?

Engaging in self-care together as a couple can also strengthen the bond. Activities like taking a walk together, cooking a healthy meal, or practicing mindfulness can be ways for couples to connect and support each other’s well-being.

This shared commitment to self-care can enhance intimacy and create a deeper sense of partnership.

Self-care is vital for both individual health and the health of relationships. It allows individuals to maintain their mental, emotional, and physical well-being, which in turn makes them better partners.

By prioritizing self-care, we can manage stress more effectively, communicate more clearly, and nurture our relationships more lovingly. Therefore, integrating self-care into our daily routine is not just a personal investment, but a commitment to fostering healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

In our rapidly evolving era, where love can feel fleeting and relationships are often tested by societal shifts and technological influences, trust remains the cornerstone of every bond. Despite the pain of betrayal, some couples endeavour to mend their fractured trust and move forward together.

Rebuilding trust after infidelity or other breaches requires commitment from both partners, as distrust can erode the foundation of intimacy and connection.

What are the ways for couples to rebuild trust in a relationship?

Top couples therapist and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few tips and tricks to rebuild that lost trust in a relationship.

Find out the Real Reason

Perhaps the primary step towards addressing a breach of trust in a relationship is introspection to understand the underlying motivations. It’s imperative to honestly assess why the breach occurred, whether it was due to unmet needs, a desire to end the relationship, or simply a mistake.

Avoiding manipulation, gaslighting, or blaming one’s partner is crucial; instead, taking ownership of one’s actions and explaining intentions sincerely is vital before attempting to rebuild trust.

A Sincere Apology

A sincere apology lays the foundation for rebuilding trust. It involves acknowledging betrayal with honesty and remorse, promising to end the affair and prevent its recurrence. Daily reassurances and expressions of love reassure the wounded partner.

Empathizing with their pain demonstrates understanding. Transparency and authenticity underscore the commitment to repair. A genuine apology signifies a willingness to go the extra mile to mend what was broken, offering hope for a stronger bond.

Honest Communication

Open communication is essential for rebuilding trust in a relationship. It cultivates honesty, transparency, and understanding between partners. By openly discussing feelings, past mistakes, and expectations, couples can learn from the past and set new boundaries.

Sharing thoughts, fears, and goals helps to rebuild connection and intimacy. Honesty and transparency are crucial; hiding, lying, or withholding information only undermines trust further. Regular, positive communication promotes mutual respect and appreciation, paving the way for healing and rebuilding a stronger bond.

Forget and Forgive

Indeed it is not easy to forget and forgive your partner’s mistake, yet when you let go of grudges, you free yourself from emotional toxicity and pave the way for healing. Focus on self-renewal rather than resurrecting the past.

Recognize that every relationship, even after betrayal, offers new lessons and opportunities for growth. If trust has been breached, practising forgiveness is pivotal, acknowledging that it’s a challenging but empowering choice.

Grant your partner the benefit of the doubt, assuming their commitment to mend what was broken. Forgiveness becomes a gift to yourself, fostering the possibility of rebuilding trust in the present moment.

Patience

Patience and understanding are key to rebuilding trust in a relationship. Both partners must acknowledge that restoring trust takes time, with setbacks along the way. It’s crucial to respect each other’s pace in processing the betrayal, avoiding pressure for immediate discussions.

The unfaithful partner’s efforts to impress and make amends must be consistent but not rushed, as genuine change requires time. Seeking guidance from a counselor can provide unbiased support during this process.

Ultimately, both partners must stay positive and believe in long-term change, fostering a sense of mutual commitment and reassurance in the journey towards rebuilding trust.

Revival of Lost Spark

Restoring intimacy in a relationship post-breach of trust is a chance for a fresh start. By understanding each other’s needs and actively fulfilling them, we rebuild the foundation of love, safety, and support. We honor their pace and comfort, allowing them to initiate intimacy.

Starting with a gentle touch, you gradually progress to sensual and physical intimacy. Attentive to their cues, you focus on mutual pleasure, nurturing trust through genuine connection.

Life is a journey of growth and resilience. Rebuilding trust in a relationship demands introspection, sincere apologies, honest communication, forgiveness, patience, and a revival of lost intimacy. Through mutual commitment and understanding, couples can emerge stronger, cultivating a deeper connection built on honesty, empathy, and love.

Did you know that it is perfectly normal to have feelings for another person even while you are married? These brief infatuations with another person are part of human nature, rooted in our brain chemistry. However, these feelings do not reflect anything about your marriage, your spouse, or the person you’re having a crush on.

While such feelings can add thrill and excitement to your life, they might also bring feelings of guilt and fear. Do not worry. Here are certain things that are being explained in this blog.

What do you need to do when you are married, yet are attracted to someone else?

Eminent couples therapist and marriage counsellor in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is here to tell you what you can do when you are married but have a crush on someone else.

Accept your Feelings – Perhaps the first and foremost step in getting over your crush while married is to acknowledge and accept your feelings. Recognizing that crushes are a natural part of the human experience and do not signify a lack of love for your spouse or a failing marriage is crucial.

By admitting your feelings to yourself, you can take active measures to manage them, preventing them from leading to a potential affair. This self-awareness empowers you to gain control over your emotions, rather than allowing them to dictate your actions, ultimately helping you to move past the crush.

Reflect and Reconnect – When you’re married and having a crush on someone else, reflecting on your marriage is crucial. It helps you understand the potential consequences of acting on those feelings. Assessing what you stand to lose reminds you of the value of your relationship and the life you’ve built together.

Additionally, it prompts you to consider if the person you’re attracted to is truly worth jeopardizing your marriage. Furthermore, reflection may uncover underlying issues within your relationship that need attention. This introspection can lead to open communication with your spouse, strengthening your bond and addressing any areas for improvement.

Stay Away from Your Crush – Any kind of temptation is hard to resist, especially when it involves someone outside of your marriage. When you have a crush on someone, the best course of action is to create distance. While complete avoidance may be impossible, limiting contact is crucial. Setting clear boundaries and sticking to them prevents the crush from escalating.

Reducing interactions gradually diminishes the intensity of feelings over time, safeguarding the sanctity of your marriage. By prioritizing distance, you prioritize your commitment to your spouse and ensure the crush doesn’t jeopardize your relationship.

Set Clear Boundaries – Familiarity can intensify feelings and blur boundaries, potentially jeopardizing a marriage. It’s important to establish clear boundaries in such cases. By maintaining distance and limiting interactions with the crush, you prevent the escalation of emotions. Sending mixed signals only fuels confusion and potential misunderstandings, complicating matters further.

The sooner you recognize that managing a crush is solely your responsibility, the better it will be for you to avoid such behaviours that could harm your relationship. Communicating openly with your partner about boundaries reinforces trust and commitment. Remember, prioritizing your marriage means actively safeguarding against the allure of a crush and steering clear of actions that may compromise the relationship’s integrity.

Honest Communication – We all know that communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. When you have a crush on someone else while you are married, it is quite natural to feel guilty or embarrassed about these feelings, but keeping them secret only intensifies the struggle. By openly discussing your emotions with your spouse, you’re acknowledging their importance and seeking understanding.

This transparency not only strengthens trust but also cultivates a deeper connection. While the conversation may feel awkward, it’s an opportunity to strengthen the bond between you and your partner. By confiding in them, you’re not only sharing your struggles but also inviting their support and perspective. This honesty can breathe new life into your relationship, allowing both of you to overcome challenges together. Ultimately, open communication lays the foundation for surmounting obstacles and reaffirming your commitment to each other.

It is evident from this article that it would be wise to acknowledge and accept your feelings, reflect on your marriage, maintain distance from your crush, set clear boundaries, and communicate openly with your spouse. These steps strengthen bonds and safeguard relationships.

In today’s busy and competitive world, where life revolves around the clock, maintaining a healthy relationship can definitely be challenging. Many of us must have experienced the suffocating grip of stress from work, feeling its corrosive effects on our relationships like a sour lemon in the face. However, amidst the chaos of deadlines, demanding colleagues, and relentless shift patterns, there exists a path to safeguarding our intimate connections. Let’s find out from relationship expert and eminent couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo ways to protect your intimate relationship from the impact of work stress.

Stress is highly contagious. That’s why when you are feeling the stress, it is obvious that your partner too will feel it indirectly. Sometimes this becomes too intense and is called crossover workplace stress where partners share and amplify each other’s work stress, showing how emotional burdens transcend individual experiences, says leading couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo in this blog.

What are some ways to protect your intimate relationship from the effects of work-related stress?

Shivani Sadhoo says the below-mentioned pointers will help you to manage your intimate relationship effectively.

Identify the stress first – Recognizing your partner’s stress signals is crucial for maintaining a strong connection. It allows you to understand their struggles and provide much-needed support. Changes in sleep, eating habits, mood, or energy levels are key indicators.

Since women may display stress differently than men, attentive observation becomes even more vital. By acknowledging their stress, you open avenues for support, fostering resilience and strengthening your bond.

Separate our professional life from personal life – While it may be quite difficult to disconnect yourself from work in this hyperconnected world, it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries between your professional and personal life. Designate specific areas at home as work-free zones like the bedroom or yard.

Also, schedule work-free times during the day with regular breaks and a fixed end time in the evening. This proactive approach enables couples to support each other’s emotional needs without sacrificing their own well-being, ultimately nurturing a healthier and more resilient bond.

Communicate – Effective communication is vital in nurturing intimate relationships. By openly discussing work stress with your partner, you cultivate understanding and patience, preventing misunderstandings. Sharing concerns and supporting each other builds teamwork and unity.

Establishing a safe environment for expressing emotions strengthens intimacy. Regular check-ins enable honest conversations about challenges, nurturing a deeper connection. This mutual sharing of burdens and vulnerabilities creates a strong foundation for intimacy to flourish.

The right choice of words – Choose your words carefully, for they are the bridge between hearts in times of relationship stress. When emotions run high, allowing your partner to express themselves without judgment fosters understanding. Accusations, exaggerations, or insincere compliments only deepen wounds.

Engage in discussions with empathy, avoiding defensiveness, to navigate stress as a team. Equally crucial is monitoring your tone; its pitch, volume, and pace convey more than words alone, shaping the emotional landscape of communication.

Offer help/support – Supporting your partner during times of stress is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. By sharing your feelings with trusted individuals, such as friends or therapists, you can alleviate the emotional burden on your partner.

Understanding their needs and communicating yours nurtures mutual support and prevents resentment. Listening without judgment cultivates compassion and strengthens the bond, aiding in healing past wounds and building a resilient partnership.

Look after yourself – Taking time apart from your partner, even amidst isolation, is crucial for self-care and a healthy relationship. Whether it’s a brief solo walk, separate workspaces, or pursuing individual interests, this distance allows for recharge and alleviates shared stress.

It fosters independence, preventing mutual overwhelm, and nurturing fondness through the adage, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Stress and strain are unavoidable companions in our modern lives, often infiltrating our intimate relationships. However, by recognizing and addressing the impact of work stress, couples can fortify their bond.

Through effective communication, setting boundaries, and offering support, partners can navigate the tumultuous waters together. By prioritizing understanding, empathy, and self-care, they forge a path toward resilience and deeper intimacy, safeguarding their relationship amidst life’s chaos.

Love is a wonderful feeling. When we love someone deeply, we open ourselves up to vulnerability, trusting them with our hearts and our deepest emotions. However, with this vulnerability comes the risk of betrayal, and one of the most painful forms of betrayal is emotional cheating. So, what is Emotional Cheating and how can we mend this broken trust? Delhi’s leading marriage and family therapist, Shivani Misri Sadhoo answers your question in this article.

What is Emotional Cheating?

Definition–Emotional cheating refers to forming intimate emotional bonds outside a primary relationship, breaking trust and boundaries. It doesn’t involve physical intimacy. Instead, it occurs when we develop strong feelings for someone outside of our committed relationship. Signs include secrecy, confiding in another, flirtation, and neglecting the partner’s needs.   

Emotional Cheating is not the same as Platonic friendship. In a platonic relationship, the emotional connection is significant, but it lacks the romantic or sexual attraction that typically defines a romantic relationship.

How does it happen? Innocent friendships can escalate into emotional affairs, often involving co-workers, exes, online friends, or seeking solace during relationship issues.

What is the impact of emotional cheating on the primary relationship?

Impact on primary relationship: It damages trust, weakens emotional closeness, suggests less commitment, and may lead to physical cheating, similar to infidelity.

What are the Signs of Emotional Cheating?

• You confide in someone else about your relationship issues instead of discussing them with your partner, breaching trust and intimacy.
• You feel excited while interacting with this person. This indicates a potential emotional connection beyond friendship.
• You deliberately conceal or minimize the depth of your bond with this individual from your partner, betraying transparency and honesty.
• There’s flirtatious behaviour with an underlying romantic or physical attraction, crossing the boundaries of platonic friendship.
• This person fulfils your emotional needs in ways your partner doesn’t, leading to dissatisfaction and comparison, wishing your partner were more like them.

What are the ways to mend this broken trust in relationships and marriages?

Mending broken trust after emotional cheating requires a concerted effort from both partners. It’s not easy, and it takes time, patience, and a willingness to confront difficult emotions head-on. Here are a few ways by which this is possible:

Accept your mistake – One of the crucial steps in rebuilding trust after emotional cheating is admitting and owning up to your actions. Accepting responsibility without excuses or blame shows genuine remorse. Validating your partner’s feelings and creating a safe space for them to express emotions freely nurtures healing and rebuilding trust.

Completely disconnect – When your partner decides to end the relationship due to emotional cheating, it signals seriousness. They must cut off all contact with the third party, allowing verification. This means blocking, avoiding encounters, and setting clear work boundaries if the affair was with a colleague.

Honest communication – Communication is the cornerstone of relationships. Honest, open dialogue is crucial for addressing emotional cheating. It creates a safe space for expressing feelings, rebuilding trust, and sharing perspectives. Through dialogue, partners understand each other better and can work towards healing the relationship.

Try to regain trust – Share your hopes, dreams, and emotions openly with your partner. Plan special dates to reconnect without distractions. Listen actively and empathize with each other. Rebuild trust after emotional cheating through open communication and intentional gestures of love.

Forgive and forget – It may be difficult to forgive and forget, yet it’s vital in overcoming emotional infidelity. It’s not just about pardoning your partner; it’s about releasing self-blame. Forgiveness liberates, empowering you to move forward and enabling relationship recovery.

Now that you understand emotional cheating and how to mend broken trust, remember: that honesty, communication, and forgiveness are key to rebuilding a stronger, more resilient relationship.

Watch Video On Emotional Cheating, Loyalty & What No One Talks About

Have you ever found yourself on a first date, heart racing, palms sweating, desperately wishing for an escape route in case it all goes south? It’s a rite of passage in the world of dating, where both parties are often teetering on the edge of excitement and anxiety, wondering if this encounter will lead to something magical or just another story to laugh about later. First dates can be tricky. What works for you may not work for the other person.

What do women really want or expect on their first dates?

Shivani Misri Sadhoo, the leading relationship counsellor and couples therapist in Delhi, is here to guide you with those little things that single women want on a first date.

Punctuality – Punctuality on a first date speaks volumes about your character and consideration. Arriving on time demonstrates respect for her schedule and shows maturity and responsibility. It conveys your value for the date and sets a positive tone. Conversely, being late can start things off poorly. Communicating any delays or emergencies promptly showcases courtesy and thoughtfulness, reinforcing your respect for her time.

Honest Conversation – On a first date, single women seek authentic conversations because they want to truly understand their date. They crave depth beyond rehearsed lines, desiring genuine connections that reveal the person’s essence. Meaningful discussions, where both parties share openly and listen attentively, allow them to assess compatibility and determine if they want to pursue the relationship further. It’s about understanding each other on a deeper level.

Being Polite – How would you feel if someone you’re meeting for the first time forgets basic manners? Probably not great, right? Well, women appreciate politeness because it shows respect and consideration. Small gestures like holding doors open or chewing with your mouth closed make a big difference. Plus, avoiding gross or inappropriate topics shows you’re mindful of her comfort and boundaries.

Avoid Staring at Your Phone Always – One of the banes of dating in a digital era is the constant urge to check social media notifications, no matter where you are! But, if you’re constantly glued to your gadgets on the first date, it sends a signal that you’re not fully present and excited about meeting someone new. The thrill of a first date lies in the anticipation and getting to know each other.

If your attention is elsewhere, it’s like saying, “You’re not that important.” Nobody wants to feel ignored or disrespected, especially on a first date where the goal is to connect. Unless it’s an emergency, keeping your face buried in your phone sends the wrong message—it’s a surefire way to kill the vibe and potentially ruin what could’ve been a great conversation.

No Fake Compliments – It goes without saying that on a first date, women seek genuine compliments that come from the heart. They don’t want to feel like someone’s just throwing out empty words to impress them. When they sense insincerity, it makes them feel like their autonomy and boundaries are being compromised, especially if they feel their safety is at risk.

Instead of just sweet-talking, showing sincere interest and affection by complimenting traits that truly matter to you, like her smile, hair, or outfit, can go a long way. If you’re going to call her beautiful, make sure you truly mean it—it’s the sincerity that counts.

Simple and Smart – Women appreciate simplicity and intelligence on first dates. Genuine conversation, thoughtfulness, and sincerity are valued over extravagant displays. Overconfidence and insincerity are major turn-offs, creating discomfort.

Authenticity is key; any hint of pretence disrupts the atmosphere. It’s about feeling relaxed and comfortable, not impressed by theatrics. Simple gestures make for memorable and positive experiences, setting the stage for genuine connections.

While it is true that first dates can be nerve-wracking, focusing on punctuality, genuine conversation, politeness, presence, sincerity in compliments, and simplicity sets the stage for a meaningful connection, fostering mutual respect and understanding.

How would you feel when you accidentally find out that your husband, whom you love dearly, is cheating on you? Once the initial shock wears off, you may find yourself cycling through various emotions, much like the stages of grief. Initially, there’s disbelief and perhaps a reluctance to accept the reality of the betrayal. Then, as the truth sinks in, pain and anger may set in.

But why do people cheat?

From a lack of attention or affection to deep-seated insecurities, the motivations for infidelity are myriad. It’s not just about physical transgressions; emotional betrayals cut just as deep. While men may reel more from physical infidelity, women often place a high value on emotional fidelity. So, what would you do in such circumstances? Should you forgive him or ignore it completely and let bygones be bygones?

How do you deal with your cheating husband?

India’s top marriage counselor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo answers your question in this article.

Verify The Facts First

First things first. Before jumping to conclusions, it’s crucial to gather solid evidence if you suspect your husband is cheating. Your gut feeling might be telling you something’s off, but you can’t accuse him without proof.

Take time to investigate: Is it innocent chatting or something more? Could it be work-related? Figure out the nature of his relationship with the other person. Look for concrete evidence like messages or meeting details before confronting him. Confirm your suspicions before taking action because wrongly accusing him can harm your relationship trust. It’s better to be sure than sorry.

Try and find out the reason

Once you’ve gathered the facts, exploring the real reason behind your husband’s infidelity is essential. It might be tough to ask and even tougher to hear, but understanding the root cause can be pivotal in moving forward.

It could unveil hidden relationship issues needing attention or reveal feelings of neglect or dissatisfaction. An open and honest conversation about infidelity’s catalyst can offer clarity and aid in both of your healing processes. Keep an open mind during this discussion to prevent your husband from shutting down or merely telling you what you want to hear.

Consider Your Feelings

When you discover your partner’s unfaithfulness, it’s important to prioritize your emotional well-being. Consider whether you feel comfortable sharing a living space with them as you process this betrayal. It’s okay to need space to think things through. If necessary, arrange for separate sleeping arrangements to give each other room to reflect. Take time to acknowledge and mourn the loss of trust in the relationship. Creating a safe environment to process these emotions is vital for your healing journey.

Don’t Look Back

There is no point in endlessly replaying conversations or questioning every detail when dealing with a cheating spouse. It’s natural to feel betrayed and wonder about what else may have been hidden, but dwelling on the past only leads to negativity and mistrust. Instead, focus on moving forward and healing, looking towards the future rather than getting stuck in hypotheticals. By working through the stages of healing and eventually forgiving both your partner and yourself, you can find peace and rebuild trust in your relationship.

Don’t involve the children

It is not wise to discuss your husband’s infidelity with your children. While it may seem tempting to seek revenge by exposing his actions, it can deeply affect your kids. They might not understand the complexity of the situation and could be scarred emotionally. Involving them could also make them feel scared and insecure about the stability of their family.

It’s important to shield them from this pain and turmoil. Keep things as normal as possible at home and refrain from involving extended family to avoid gossip and division. Instead of seeking revenge, focus on your own healing and well-being, for the sake of your children’s happiness and security.

It is quite clear from these steps that addressing infidelity in a relationship requires patience, understanding, and prioritizing emotional well-being. By verifying facts, exploring reasons, focusing on healing, and protecting children, couples can navigate this challenging journey with empathy and grace. If needed, seek support from a relationship counsellor or psychologist for guidance and resolution in processing and healing from infidelity.

Watch the Video on How to Heal from Infidelity.