How to Fall in Love in an Arranged Marriage?
Key Marriage & Relationship Tips by Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo
Ask anyone if love in an arranged marriage is feasible, and the chances are high that you will hear them quip that ‘love’ and ‘arranged’ are as distant as night and day. The typical wisdom of the 21st century leans towards the argument that in order to have love in marriage, you need to first fall in love. In spite of the high number of opinions, though, it has been observed that arranged marriages have substantial success in India, even though many live with the perception that it is a ‘forced marriage’. Despite all, Indians still prefer getting hitched the good and old arranged way.
The question arises is if an arranged marriage really works, then how long does it take for the couple to fall in love? To be honest, there are no fixed formulas. But there are a few conditions and preconditions that may help you to fall in love at lightning speed.
In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counsellor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about how to fall in love in an arranged marriage.
You Had Arranged Dating
This is an IDEAL way of making sure that you are in love in an arranged marriage, with your to-be life partner, before you actually tie the knot. Arranged dating is normally the dates you go on during the phase that falls between your engagement and wedding, or once your wedding is finalised. Because it is an arranged marriage, you have the complete consent of your family members, and therefore, you can feel comfortable yet secure when on such dates.
In case you are someone who is planning to tie the knot soon, you can request an ‘engagement-wedding’ combo so that you get some time in between to know your partner well and maybe discuss post-marriage issues as well.
You Express Your Heart Out To Your Life Partner
You have no reluctance about sharing your shady past because you feel your partner has the right to know it. At the same time, you are not about your other half for their back story; rather, you allow things to go with the flow.
This is a hallmark of a successful marriage, which is made of two individuals who trust (more about it later) and love each other. Be transparent, speak your heart out, share your thoughts, and you will realise you have developed enough love to make everyone around to believe you had a mushy love marriage.
You Share the Same Passion
This must be the ticket to love in an arranged marriage, and followed up by matrimonial bliss since both of you are on the same page. If she is into bird watching and you remotely endorse it, then this is the time you cultivate that hobby as well, so that you can hit a common note with her.
Sharing and having the same passion is certainly going to bring you closer, eventually making you fall for each other. But it is not necessary that you always need to be compatible in terms of likes and dislikes.
Dedicate Time to Each Other’s Hobbies
Instead of putting up an act of how much you loathe some of your partner’s hobbies, take out time and effort to adopt them yourself. If he enjoys playing games on PlayStation, sit with him and ask him to tell you about the game controllers and teach you.
You will just establish your place in his heart forever, girl! Even a slight display of approval to your partner’s hobbies is the best way to fall in love in an arranged marriage, while you are still figuring out each other.
You Give Each Other Independence
Definitely, it is great to do bird watching and gaming together, but no one requires a clingy life partner. In fact, the most loving relationships are those where the partners who give some ‘separate and away’ time to each other with respect and honour.
Always bear in mind that you are two individuals who have your very own social circles and obligations. Letting your partner have their ME time is the best way to make your love stronger. Your relationship will then be like the two ends of a rubber band; the farther they are stretched, the stronger they come back towards each other.
Trust and Mutual Respect Is At The Core Of Your Relationship
When you see each other from the corner of the eye just to keep a watch on each other? Now, this is a lack of trust and respect. Trust should be an element constituting the bond between both of you and trust itself must be backed by mutual respect if you want love in an arranged marriage.
Arranged marriages are infamous for situations where the husband forcibly avails his ‘husband rights’, while the wife always has the ‘who was she?’ question on the tip of her tongue. Make it a habit to never discount or downgrade your respect and trust for each other, which will eventually form the base of your mutual love.
Learn Things and Help Each Other
You provide a helping hand to your partner with zeal and promptness, and you will have your partner more than impressed; absolutely flattered, maybe. It will also make your tag of being a truly loving life partner and not just someone is thrown into a sphere of matrimony because it was all arranged. Bring some love to your partner, and you will realise that you just brought a perception shift in the drab image of arranged marriage.
You Invest Good Time to Understand Each Other
Shivani Misri Sadhoo specializes in infidelity recovery, pre-marital counseling, marriage counseling, couples therapy, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), relationship issues, separation and divorce, child and adolescent concerns, depression, anxiety, grief and loss. She is also one of the leading online couples therapists in India and for couples who are living in the US, the UK, Australia, Europe and Dubai.
A Certified Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner and a Level 3 Trained Gottman Method Couples Therapist , Marriage Counselor Shivani Sadhoo integrates modern therapeutic techniques with a warm, client-centered approach to create lasting transformation in her clients’ lives.
Counsellor Shivani is currently working with India 's top hospital groups like Fortis Hospital (former), IBS (Indian Brain & Spine) Hospital
Call Counselor: +91-8860875040
Email:saarthiforlife@gmail.com
Gottman Certification: Level 3 Trained Gottman Method Couples Therapist
- Red Flags of Female Infidelity: What Every Partner Should Know - January 11, 2026
- What is Pebbling an Adorable New Dating? - January 4, 2026
- Attachment Styles: The Silent Force Behind Breakups - December 31, 2025