Traditionally, marriages in India is the union of two souls, not just an event that brings two people together. In fact, a few decades back, even a large percentage of urban Indians perceived that marriage bonding continues to exist for the next 7 life and death cycles. Times in 2019 has changed, technology development and the emergence of the global economy has shifted people’s lifestyle, changed life priorities, burdened large middle-class populations under loans & monthly EMIs, and most importantly it has restricted the time that people get to spend with their family.
Unfortunately, the conflict between the perception about marriage that most has received from our childhood and the harsh reality of modern urban Indian society has resulted in a common situation – where people get married without thinking of the chances of separation. And they miss taking most of the vital steps required to strengthen their relationship in the current social situation.
That is why it is sometimes a wise thing to think less of the wedding vows and take time to consider what they could do when the things may hit a rocky patch in the future. This is one of the major reasons why couples should think about marriage counseling on a serious note.
In this article Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares insight on about the reason marriage counseling is more important than the wedding vows.
Premarital Counselling Helps You To Envisage the Relationship’s Future
Marriage counseling can actually start before the wedding. This counseling could include discussing the couple’s individual family past and the family they plan to develop together, including the possibility of kids, how you will deal with conflict.
You can also visit a marriage or family counselor for premarital counseling, which will help you to start your marriage with a clutter-free mind.
It could be a way to clear up any cynicism or fear of marriage and give you a secure place to talk about things like if, when and how many offsprings you want, how you can deal with monetary issues or other stressors in your relationship and to ensure you have similar values and goals for your relationship, your family and your life together.
Taking the time to have premarital counseling also sets you up to be more open to engaging in marriage counseling later on if you need it.
It Is Not Only About Fixing Things But Developing Stronger Roots.
The most common reasons couples opt for marriage counseling include lack of communication in their relationship, lack of emotional support or engagement and worries that they are probably headed toward divorce.
Other factors that often send couples to therapy include fighting or specific relationship matters like infidelity.
Some people simply want to make their marriages stronger and last longer and look to seek professional help.
While Proceeding For A Counseling, Be Certain About What You Want From It
Most couples engage in marriage counseling once issues have been broiling for months, or even years, and the more you wait to seek help the complex it is to work through the issues. Usually, on an average, a couple waits 6 years more than they should begin counseling.
Know what you need from counseling from the start. Are you and your partner all in, entirely committed to save the marriage, no matter how much effort it takes? Or is one or both of you are certain you want to call it off? Knowing the answers will help define what success feels like, but either way, you must maintain an open mind about the process.