Tag Archive : best marriage counselor delhi

Self-Care in Marriage: Simple Ways to Relax Together as a Couple

Right now, several couples or individuals are still working from home for the immediate future. Lots of people are very much always home these days, or a few even working part-time on creative work and taking care of the household. This might be a huge challenge for some marriages if couples are not already so consistent with practicing self-care in their marriage. Even though a steady income, and living in a house with plenty of space, definitely contributes to anyone’s comfort

But your marriage is something that should always be a priority, no matter the extenuating circumstances. One method to prioritize your marriage is to practice self-care, together. Even if you and your significant other just have time to work on self-care once every week, that is still the time that you are solely devoting to each other and to your marriage.

This blog by Delhi’s top Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about self-care in marriage and the ways to relax as a couple.

Couples Therapist Shivani says these self-care ideas are solely intended to do as a couple. Bear in mind that for these self-care ideas to benefit both of you, both the partners have to be willing and interested. Consent always matters in a relationship, even for non-sexual activities. It is not exactly a self-care activity if you have to be forced into doing it.

Unplug your Gadgets and Devices

You and your loved one need some screen-free time together. There are many who cancel their anniversary trip, so it can be celebrated at home instead. While couples watching a movie is fine, however, it is insisted that both of you put away or switch off your phones and laptops while watching movies together. With repeated notifications and more, it is so easy to focus more on your phone than on your partner. Dedicate time to each of you without thinking of your devices.

Go on a Walk

After a long time you two have managed to have some time. If the weather is pleasant, plan to take a walk. Hold each other’s hands. Talk about life. The fresh air and exteriors will certainly do a world of good for both of you.

Spend Some Quality Time Apart

Are you confused? It’s okay, just like quality time together must be intentional–TV series and Chill doesn’t count, quality time apart must also be intentional. When you and your loved one spend time on self-improvement, or you focus on quality time with friends or family, you are spending quality time apart. It is good to have your own hobbies. It is healthy to have your own friends. Your partner should not be your sole source of companionship.

Post quality time apart, you and your spouse will better appreciate and enjoy quality time together.

Set Goals Together

Several couples have some big dreams. Dreams of extensive travel, a big house with a luxury car dreams of kids and their schooling.

It is fun to dream big, particularly, about the distant future. But there is also time to set realistic goals for the immediate future. Big goals usually take time, and they normally take money too. In addition to setting long-term goals, you and your partner should also break them down into medium-term goals.

Marriage goals are not all financial, though. You can also set goals to concentrate on self-improvement or goals to build intimacy.

Some of the ways are:

·       Workout together for a specific amount of time each week

·       Join a hobby club together

·       Attend an event together

·       Schedule a weekly or fortnight date

Learn Each One’s Love Language

Every individual generally has a primary love language. This is how you express love to others. When another person uses your love language you feel loved even more. Learning and acknowledging your own love language, and learning your spouse’s love language, can assist the two of you to communicate better and express love with greater intention.

Give Each Other Massages

First you need to decide together if these massages are simply for relaxation and/or pain relief, or if they are a prelude to getting intimate. You do not wish to be disappointed by a simple misunderstanding post your messages.

If you do not know how to give a good massage, there are some good resources online.

Maybe you need to set the environment right, get out some body lotion or massage oil, play soothing music and give each other massages.

If you do not have time for the complete romance, you can also give each other foot massages or neck rubs while watching a TV show.

Cuddle and Talk

Several couples are affectionate all day long, but there is nothing quite like dedicating a few moments to cuddling and talking. This is a great mode to start or to end your day. Simply you and your spouse, no other distractions. If you are not certain what to talk about, ask a few tried-and-true questions. How are you feeling? What are you thinking? What can you do today to make your partner’s life better?

Just be Silly

No doubt a married life means several responsibilities. However, marriage is not the end of fun. Be playful with your spouse. Run through the sprinklers or dance in the kitchen. Play video games or board games. Share some jokes. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

Show Affection

At times self-care in marriage is actually, just about the little things. Show affection to your spouse throughout the day. Send a cute message. Give a quick neck massage. Kiss right prior to going to bed.

Go to the Bed Together

One of the partners is an early bird, while the other one a night owl. But it is always good to align your sleep schedules more closely. Most nights, you need to try to be in bed before your partner falls asleep so at least you can talk a bit first.

Sometimes you could be both tired at the same time and fall asleep cuddling. This is an absolutely wonderful feeling, but it’s not normally practical with your different sleep schedules. Still, it is nice to try to be in bed together at the end of the day, before either of you falls asleep.

Discuss Things Related to Physical Intimacy in your Life

Getting physically intimate can absolutely be an amazing kind of self-care. But you and your partner need to discuss it periodically. The lists can help you and your partner start the conversation. It includes meaningful videos or articles on topics related to physical intimacy. It will help both of you to set or rectify certain issues if they bother you as far as getting physically intimate with your partner.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxietydepressionsleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control the pandemic’s spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.

Signs You Are in a Relationship Which is Based on Inequality

If you love English Songs, then there is a possibility that you may have heard the song “Issues” by Julia Michael. The lines say I’m jealous, I’m overzealous. When I m down, I get really down.

The song may be quite popular, but one thing that song describes a relationship that is solely dependent on power, and control rather than equality and respect.

But what is the meaning to have an equal relationship? Counselor Shivani says equality in a relationship means that each partner’s interests and desires are respected and met to a reasonable degree as opposed to simply one partner’s needs dominating the relationship. Inequality in a relationship points to an imbalance of power between partners. In an unhealthy relationship one partner practices power and control over the other. If your partner’s needs dominate the relationship without any consideration for your own then that relationship is unequal.

Sounds easy enough. Still, some of the most common relationship issues stem from inequality within the relationship. Think about it. Do you always have to do the house chores? Are you supposed to pay for every meal in order to earn your partner’s affection? If unintentional, these behaviors do not strictly mean your partner is abusive, it simply means your relationship is unequal. Left unchecked, inequality in a relationship can make way to resentment and other controlling tactics over a period of time.

To make certain no one gets the short end of the stick, in this blog Top Delhi based Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo put together a list of relationship red flags that will assist you to determine whether your special one is giving (or not getting) their fair share in the relationship.

They Make All the Decisions

We are all for asserting your needs in a relationship since in some cases, like when you are feeling sick, your needs must come first. However, you likely will not be the only one deciding where you and your loved one will go out for dinner every week. Healthy relationships are formed on mutual respect and working toward the needs of both partners. If you are not certain whether you are dominating the decision making in your relationship, ask yourself the following questions:

·       Do I/ (does my partner) always decide what we will do during the weekend?

·       Do I/ (does my partner) decide which friends we will hang out with and not give a second thought to my (their) preferences?

·       Do I/ (does my partner) always decide when physical pleasure happens?

·       Do I/ (does my partner) decide who will do the home-based chores?

If you said yes to the questions, then it could be time to begin a conversation with your partner about the inequality in your relationship. A good way to teach yourself or your partner to split the decision-making in your relationship is with a D.I.Y. assignment. D.I.Y. projects can become a top exercise in compromise if you and your partner approach the project mindfully. Not only do you get to learn more about your significant other in a relaxed manner but you can make it an attempt to make decisions together.

One of the Partner is Expected to Every Time

In an equal relationship, both partners must be willing to split or alternate the cost of an outing or dates. It’s completely fine if one partner insists on paying for the majority of the things, however, they must not feel that this is to be expected of them in an attempt to earn your affection. If your partner is uncomfortable paying for every outing and you continue to expect them too then it is time for you to re-assess your behavior.

One of the Partner Always Refuses to Compromise When You Disagree

It’s completely acceptable to disagree at times and is not automatically a sign that you are not right for each other. The critical thing here is to work towards a solution that is acceptable to both partners. To do it, each partner needs to be willing to make compromises, rather than competing with the other partner’s needs. There will be moments that you both have to agree to disagree. Making some compromises and knowing that it is fine to disagree (respectfully), will contribute to a more balanced relationship where both partners are at ease. The next time you and your partner disagree and your partner refuses for any compromise, let them know how it makes you feel. The main thing is no one’s opinion is more essential than the other and if your partner continues this unhealthy pattern, it may be time to think of leaving the relationship.

One Partner Always Has the Last Word

In an equal relationship, when conflict happens each partner must feel the freedom to express themselves without feeling afraid or dominated by the other. Rather than shutting your partner down when they are voicing their opinion, take it as an opportunity to get to know your partner better. The aim is not to win an argument, but to gain a mutual understanding of the problem you are both facing. And if you believe that you cannot disagree with your partner without facing severe criticism or fear of being met with an angry outcome then it might be time to walk away from the relationship.

Healthy Relationship is Deserved by Everyone

Equality never means uniformity, rather it means that you both provide each other the freedom to be who you are, while you grow together. Ultimately, you and your significant other will have to define what “equality” will appear like for your relationship.  So, it is essential that each of you feel the freedom to communicate daily about the balance in your relationship.  Understanding the difference between a relationship formed on mutual respect vs control, and learning more about how to form equality in a relationship will assist you and your partner build a healthier relationship together.  And, if you feel that your partner has got some “issues”, it is best you let them know about those. After all, you deserve to be in a healthy relationship that lets you express yourself freely.

Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away

During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-19 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.

However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception.  But try it before you disregard this option.  This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.

You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!

Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.