Why Are You Still Single? 4 Key Reasons That Often Make People Stay Single
Being single is not a flaw. It can be a conscious, empowered, and deeply fulfilling choice. While society often paints romantic relationships and marriage as the ultimate milestones of adult life, many people are choosing a different path. They don’t see marriage as the be-all and end-all. Instead, they prioritise personal growth, career goals, creative pursuits, spiritual exploration, and deepening connections with friends and family.
What makes one stay single?
If you are wondering why some people genuinely love staying single, here are four reasons shared by leading relationship and marriage therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.
1. They love their Independence
One of the biggest reasons people enjoy staying single is the freedom that comes with it. Relationships often involve compromises, shared responsibilities, and constant coordination—which can feel limiting for those who deeply value their independence. When you’re single, you can set your own schedule, chase personal goals, and make decisions without having to factor in someone else’s needs.
That kind of autonomy can be incredibly fulfilling, especially for those who thrive on self-reliance and personal growth. Choosing to stay single doesn’t mean someone is selfish—it simply means they’re prioritising their own well-being and sense of identity. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
2. Painful Past Experience
Another reason some people choose to stay single is because of painful past experiences. When someone has been deeply hurt in a previous relationship, it can leave emotional scars that take a long time to heal. The fear of being hurt again makes it hard to trust or open up.
Even if they want love, the memories of heartbreak hold them back. Staying single becomes a way to protect their heart, to avoid the pain they once knew too well.
3. Longing and Boundaries
Some people avoid relationships because their emotional needs feel too intense, even shameful. They fear being a burden, so they isolate themselves to protect others—and themselves. Others are aware of their neediness but try to manage it, often shaped by early experiences with emotionally demanding caregivers.
They might avoid intimacy to protect their boundaries or fear being overwhelmed by a partner’s needs. Both responses are valid and deeply human. Healing starts by understanding your story, accepting where you are, and gently making space for both connection and self-protection.
4. Avoid Commitment
Some people stay single because they fear commitment—not out of coldness, but from a deep, often quiet vulnerability. The idea of merging their life with someone else can feel suffocating or risky. Maybe they’ve seen relationships fall apart or felt trapped in the past.
Commitment demands trust, openness, and emotional risk, which can be daunting. For them, staying single offers a sense of control and emotional safety. It’s not that they don’t crave connection—they just struggle with the weight of promises that feel too heavy or permanent to carry.
In a nutshell, people stay single for all sorts of deeply human reasons—some love their freedom, others are healing from old wounds. Some guard their hearts with healthy boundaries, while others quietly fear the weight of commitment. Whatever the reason, choosing to stay single can be a brave, thoughtful, and beautifully intentional way to live.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo specializes in infidelity recovery, pre-marital counseling, marriage counseling, couples therapy, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), relationship issues, separation and divorce, child and adolescent concerns, depression, anxiety, grief and loss. She is also one of the leading online couples therapists in India and for couples who are living in the US, the UK, Australia, Europe and Dubai.
A Certified Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner and a Level 3 Trained Gottman Method Couples Therapist , Marriage Counselor Shivani Sadhoo integrates modern therapeutic techniques with a warm, client-centered approach to create lasting transformation in her clients’ lives.
Counsellor Shivani is currently working with India 's top hospital groups like Fortis Hospital (former), IBS (Indian Brain & Spine) Hospital
Call Counselor: +91-8860875040
Email:saarthiforlife@gmail.com
Gottman Certification: Level 3 Trained Gottman Method Couples Therapist
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