Marriage Counsellor and Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo

There are several clear signs of obsession that you must definitely be aware of. Whether you are obsessed about someone or someone else is obsessed about you, it is essential that you know about these signs. Being in love can be wonderful, but it is completely different from obsession.

When you know about some of the common signs of obsession, you can provide yourself a bit of a reality check. Obsession is never good nor healthy, and the quicker you find out whether or not you have a concern with it the better off you will be.

Delhi based Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about signs of obsessive love that one should not ignore.

Something Seems Not Quite Right

One of the most basic signs of obsession is that something just does not seems right. Deep down you know that your feelings are not healthy, and you need to put an end to it. Listen to your instincts, because they will eventually end up being your salvation.

No Time For Yourself

If you are obsessed about someone else, you never want to spend a moment away from them. Those who are obsessed with others do not value alone time because they simply want to spend every waking moment with the object or person of their affection. If someone is obsessed with you, they perhaps would not ever want to let you go out of their sight. Anyway, this is not part of a healthy relationship.

Excessive Jealousy

There is no way that an individual can be obsessed with someone without being extremely jealous as well. Do you see yourself repeatedly getting jealous of even the slightest affection that others show towards your significant other? Jealousy tends to be a big problem when there is an obsession within a relationship. A little jealousy every once in a while is quite normal, but it can rapidly become a problem for those who are obsessed with the person they are with.

Total Lack Of Privacy

Obsession mostly leads to suspicion and a wretched lack of privacy. Does the individual you are with a demand to have all the passwords of your social media and email accounts? If so, there is a high chance that they are fully and utterly obsessed with you. Everyone needs a specific amount of privacy, even in a relationship. Privacy does not equal to secrecy, and it is important that you understand this.

They Move Too Fast

If with someone you have only been out only a few times and says they love you, consider it as a major red flag. You do not want to get into a serious relationship with anyone who moves this fast, because the probability is, they are already obsessed.

Constantly Keeps On Checking You

If you cannot go out with friends or colleagues without the person ringing up your phone, they are probably obsessed with you. You must not have to pay the person continuous attention no matter where you are.

Threaten You

If you are being threatened in any means by the person you are seeing, it is a matter of obsession, not love. You must take any threats the person makes quite seriously, because otherwise, you may end up in a very complex situation.

Some people have one or more phobias, with women slightly more prone to develop one than men. One of the most common phobias across the globe is arachnophobia, an attenuate fear of spiders as per psychology. In this article, Delhi based Psychologist and Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the fear of Arachnophobia and how to come out of it?

Definition Of Arachnophobia

Arachnophobia derives from the Greek word for spider, that is Arachne and Phobos the Greek word used for fear. This extreme fear of spiders and other 8-legged arachnids such as the (scorpions) could actually be an evolutionary response: spiders, especially the poisonous ones have long been associated with illness and infections.

You might know several species of spiders are poisonous and bite, and you know this from pure experience, science, biology, television, movies and seeing other people get bitten. Thus, when one sees a spider nearby a natural response is to feel feared and avoid the spider.

In several people, the fear of spiders evoke a disgust response, People with high-grade arachnophobia have such a high aversion to spiders that they might be afraid to go into their basement or garage since a spider may be present. If they face a spider, they might actually leave the house rather than to deal with it.

When it creates such anxiety that it prevents one from taking part in activities that one wants or need to do, or manifests itself in a manner that it can be physically and mentally disturbing you know your fear of spiders has become irrational.

Causes

Just like other phobias, arachnophobia can develop in a person because he sees the reaction to spiders of others with the phobia. For them, it is a learned response it makes an impact when they see a family member scream in terror and run out of the room at the very sight of a cobweb. It is theorized that a fear of spiders is impacted by one’s cultural background. In specific parts of Africa, large spiders are feared, but in South Africa, spiders are eaten, people could be unafraid of them. If you have had a frightening experience involving a spider, such as a spider bite, chances are that one will be more likely to develop arachnophobia.

Symptoms

Symptoms related to arachnophobia may occur initially in childhood or adolescence. It can also happen to an adult. These are the following symptoms:

·         Dizziness

·         Trembling and sweatiness

·         Feelings of losing control

·         Rapid heartbeats

·         Hot and cold flashes

·         Chest pain

·         Feeling of choking

·         Nausea and other gastrointestinal distress

Treatments

Mostly, a combination of counseling and medication can be used to treat arachnophobia. Relaxation methods such as meditation also can be quite helpful in the treatment of arachnophobia.

As in other phobias, arachnophobia can also be treated with exposure therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). In cognitive-behavioral therapy, the therapist attempts to replace the negative automatic thoughts linked with spiders with more rational thoughts. A therapist might use systemic desensitization to treat arachnophobia. This is the method of learning relaxation techniques and then countering your fears from what one fears the least to what one fears the most.

With the assistance of cognitive reframing, an individual can learn to modify the way he looks at spiders so that he no longer perceives them as a threat. Eventually, an individual can change his physical reaction to seeing a spider.

Sometimes, medications such as an antidepressant or an anti-anxiety may be prescribed along with psychotherapy.

How To Come Out Of Fear

Read about spiders. You will learn that they scarcely bite people unless they feel threatened. Sometimes, a spider bite can create an allergic reaction. However, bites from certain spiders like the poisonous black widow and the brown recluse spider can be dangerous, still, most spider bites are harmless.

Bearing in mind the spiders normally and that includes the much-dreaded black widow and brown recluse-bite only in self-defense when they get trapped between your skin and another object. Also, you must be aware that while there are more than 63,000 species of spiders in the world, only 2% of them are dangerous.

Steer away from spiders, store firewood outside to avert bringing spiders inside the house. Install tight-fitting screens on your doors and windows, and cover off any cracks where spiders might enter. Ensure there are no rocks or lumber right outside your house since spiders like hanging out in those areas.  Make certain your attic and garage are free of cobwebs.

Discuss your fear of spiders with your loved ones and tell them you are getting treated for your condition.  You can ask your physician to recommend a professional therapist who can help you overcome your arachnophobia.

Several people begin being in a relationship simply after they fall in love. The decision to make someone an important part of one’s life revolves around various factors including trust, compatibility, values, and a few more. Unfortunately, some people might ignore the most important reason, that is love, for being in a relationship.

For those people being with someone becomes a necessity simply because they are alone. In most cases, people who push themselves to be in love to avoid being feeling lonely can soon turn insecure when they see their other half is giving attention to another person. It is not surprising to see such people turn into retentive and obsessive lovers later.

It is essential to realize what you hope from a partner or why you want to be in a relationship because being with someone for self-reasons can never make a relationship to blossom.

Here, psychologist, marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about the signs that say you are afraid of being alone thus are in a relationship.

You Have No Idea About Anything Which Is Common Between You And Your Partner

It is quite normal for friends and family to compliment a couple saying they have plenty in common, be it their choice of food or any other habit. But, when somebody asks you what is common between you and your partner, you have no clue or you simply struggle. This is simply an indication of how mismatched you might be. This is certainly not a good sign.

When Your Partner Is With Someone Else You Feel Insecure

You may hate to admit it publicly but whenever you see your partner with somebody else you suffer from unexplainable thoughts of jealousy. The fear of being dumped fills your heart and mind and you become quite insecure. This is a strong indication that you suffer from the fear of negligence and most probably scared of getting lonely too.

Feel Alone When Your Partner Is Away

This is a major tell-tale sign of being in a relationship simply because you are afraid of being alone. Every time your partner is away from you, you fight this tendency to be constantly in touch with your partner. You feel lonely or ignored when your partner does not return your text and calls or makes plans with friends without asking you. Remember, such conduct will only push your relationship to the downhill.

Will Do Anything That Satisfies Your Partner

Are you changing into a person your partner might want? In your desperate efforts to satisfy your partner, do you frequently lie to them about yourself or hide specific traits of your personality because your partner would not approve of it? If you see yourself constantly doing the things just mentioned, you certainly need to rethink your approach towards the relationship you share.