When we get married, most of us experience a “best days of my life” kind of phase. Everything seems so awesome and so romantic, we start believing that nothing can ever go wrong. Then slowly the time passes by and without our notice, our life situations starts to change and we add– work stress, financial pressure, kids, in-laws interferences, no time to spend with our partner and etc.
Then suddenly we realise that something has gone terribly (intensity differs from couple to couple) wrong in the relationship – we don’t feel that sexual attraction towards each other that we used to feel before, we hardly talk with each other and when we talk, it’s all about issues at home or with kids. Lately, we have started fighting too frequently and gradually we both have increased the bar of insults, abuses and hurt we give to each other during a conflict.
This happens to most of the couples in today’s fast pace lifestyle and the reason for it could be in general, couples don’t go into a relationship with the know-how or understanding of how to manage their relationship challenges. Hence it’s essential if the couple finds themselves incapable to bring back their romantic relationship and to eradicate the distance between themselves, then they should ideally consult an professional, i.e. a marriage counsellor.
Now the question is: how do you know at what stage you should immediately consult marriage counsellor before things turn complex, painful and devastating? Today Delhi’s eminent Marriage Counsellor and Relationship Expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some of the important trigger points and behaviours in relationships that are signs you may need help.
Early stage indicators
- When there is too less communication between you too, and whenever you talk, you talk about matters related to home, kids and EMI’s. Even if you try to talk something about your relationship, those conversations generally start by accusing each other, gradually end up into ugly quarrels.
- You have started finding it okay to spend days or month without your partner expressing his/her emotional support and love.
- You are living more like roommates rather than husband and wife.
- You have started finding it difficult to get sexually attracted to your partner and gradually you both has lost the physical urge to get connected to your partner.
Advance stage indicators to consult a marriage counsellor immediately (when you miss to consult a counsellor at the early stages of marital issues and let your marital life reach the following adverse conditions)
- Gradually, either you or your partner or you both have trust issues with each other.
- You or your partner has started feeling attracted to someone outside marriage.
- You or your partner or you both have started having an extra marital relationship, the only reason you are together is for of kids or you are waiting for your partner to initiate the lawful separation.